Please pray for my relationship <3

[hannahcorn]

So, for the past two months i've felt like my significant other has had feeligs for another girl. It seems like he was always being flirty with her and i know she does not like him however she says things that are over the top as well. This man of mine, i've felt was MEANT to be with me purposefully by God. God has given me SOOOOOO many signs that i dont want to get to in to detail of that i should be with this guy. But i often wonder what God would think if i broke up with him. I could never do that though, i love him so much and my bf means the world to me!!<3 Earlier today he was being so flirtacious that i cried out to Jesus, home alone.i told him i was lost, defeated and ready to go in to heaven. I've had this talk with my bf over and over again about his actions and feelings towards her, but each time results in more conflict, and he always assures me that they are just really good friends and are really close. But it hurts me because i feel like as his partner i should be closest to him as selfish as that sounds. Oh lord, he said something to her that hurt me extremely bad. I'm literally hopeless and don't have clue as to what i should really do. I just need all the support i can get, it would mean so much to me if you kept my situation in your prayers, thank you!!

~God bless, hannah

 

[levi85]

Lord we bring this matter to you and pray, let you please bless hannahcorn and bf. Let you bless their relationship and you be glorified. In Jesus loving name, Amen!

 

[Ugly]

14 is pretty young for all this.
Unless you're coming here asking for prayer while being deceitful. If you're not 14 then you will want to ask a mod to fix your age. They do not like people lying about such things.

If you are 14 then you don't have a man. You have a boy. And the chances that, at 14, God sent you a dishonest man is pretty much zero.
Even if you're an adult the chances are still zero.
And I know all about the "I'm certain God brought us together" shtick. The number of people in bad relationships, cheaters, abusers, liars, etc... that come on this site saying the exact same thing are endless. We never really hear of any if them working. Because God didn't bring them someone like that.
Let me guess... it's different with you. Just like all of them.
I've been down the route before as well. Had an endless list of "evidence". Yet, here I am, still single.

You're dating a jerk and you know it. But you refuse to admit it fully and cling to a failing relationship because you've conjured a list of self delusions to convince you this is what God wants for you. Ignoring your bible.
Oh. I forgot. It's "different" with you and no one else understands. Even all the others that have already said that.

And "significant other" means spouse. It had a specific meaning. If you aren't married he's not your significant other.

 

[KBond]

I am praying for your bf to be loyal and faithful, but I am also praying that the Lord would help you guard your heart according to Proverbs 4:23—" Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." People have a tendency to give too much of themselves to relationships. Keep it fun and light until you are married. Then let it become a serious commitment. Give your whole heart, mind, and soul to God. Then let the love that overflows fall on your family, friends, and others. God is worthy of your true love because He is trustworthy. No one else in this world is truly trustworthy of something as precious as your heart. Blessings to you!

 

[tourist]

You need to lose the boyfriend and concentrate on your studies. Don't forget to say your prayers tonight. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.

 

[hannahcorn]

14 is pretty young for all this.
Unless you're coming here asking for prayer while being deceitful. If you're not 14 then you will want to ask a mod to fix your age. They do not like people lying about such things.

If you are 14 then you don't have a man. You have a boy. And the chances that, at 14, God sent you a dishonest man is pretty much zero.
Even if you're an adult the chances are still zero.
And I know all about the "I'm certain God brought us together" shtick. The number of people in bad relationships, cheaters, abusers, liars, etc... that come on this site saying the exact same thing are endless. We never really hear of any if them working. Because God didn't bring them someone like that.
Let me guess... it's different with you. Just like all of them.
I've been down the route before as well. Had an endless list of "evidence". Yet, here I am, still single.

You're dating a jerk and you know it. But you refuse to admit it fully and cling to a failing relationship because you've conjured a list of self delusions to convince you this is what God wants for you. Ignoring your bible.
Oh. I forgot. It's "different" with you and no one else understands. Even all the others that have already said that.

And "significant other" means spouse. It had a specific meaning. If you aren't married he's not your significant other.

oh noes, why was i unaware of that xD (how do you edit a post ;-; ) but anyway thank you for correcting me first of all, i'd like to first start off by saying thank you. And, i really am 14 and going through all this. However, i really am certain for the fact that i should be with him. I would give him up if God wanted me to. But, the thing is he has a harder life at home that i don't want to expose too much of, and i COMPLETELY feel like one of God's roles for me in life is to support and give him all the love he needs--and it worked. You see, my boyfriend and i have been together for a little over 7 months, but there have been times like these where he acts a little flirty with some girls, but sometimes i do overreact big time which is a fault on my part, but please keep in mind he has never once not shown love to me. For he himself is a Christian, something I've told God i want in a partner. he always put himself before me no matter what, and cares for me a lot. (Even though he cares about a certain other girl a LOT too ) When I'm with him, i feel our relationship is holy. But when i see him not privately, he's used profanity and of course be flirtatious. But he's not ALWAYS like that. He's used to profanity at home from what i gather. He is not a jerk, he's actually very sweet to me, he gives me things all the time when we play video games together, he gives me stuff that he doesn't do to girls, which is nice. Without him, i'd be very depressed. I know God could heal me if we split up, but my boyfriend doesn't want to part either, because i know for a fact he loves being with me more than anything, he's said it a lot of times. I think that maybe i take the "flirting" the wrong way and he's just being friendly. He never wants me to be sad, or hurt that's the last thing he wants. I'm telling you, i really like to think we are Christ like with each other...we are!! I think he may not know how to act sometimes because his parents have scarred him in a way (?) I just want to show him love, sometimes i cry when i think about his situation that he never wants to talk about. I love him more than anything but God. I will always put God first. I think i am extremely selfish sometimes, because when i see him with another girl i get upset because it's not me, though i get to talk to my boyfriend so often, and have plenty of time with him. i KNOW i need to show him love and most importantly, Christ through me, and show him the right way of things. I just don't know how and don't know where to start.
What should i be looking at in my Bible? Thanks for the advice!!

 

[hannahcorn]

I am praying for your bf to be loyal and faithful, but I am also praying that the Lord would help you guard your heart according to Proverbs 4:23—" Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." People have a tendency to give too much of themselves to relationships. Keep it fun and light until you are married. Then let it become a serious commitment. Give your whole heart, mind, and soul to God. Then let the love that overflows fall on your family, friends, and others. God is worthy of your true love because He is trustworthy. No one else in this world is truly trustworthy of something as precious as your heart. Blessings to you!

thank you so much for the support, it means a lot!<3 your kindness has truly brightened my day

 

[Magenta]

i know for a fact he loves being with me more than anything, he's said it a lot of times.

Sorry to break it to you, Hannah, but if he loved you more than anything he would stop doing things that he knows hurt you. However, the fact is, that he loves his freedom and ability to flirt with anyone he wants whenever he wants regardless of how it affects you or the conflict it causes in your relationship with him. Besides which, you are far too young for this type of drama in your life. Ain't nobody got time for that, anyways, no matter their age. If he were to dump you because you come across as insecure and jealous, well, who could blame him? And you would blame yourself, too, and make all kinds of excuses for him even as you were fuming mad at him and hurting so bad you would want to die. Stop it. Just stop doing what you are doing. Take a step back from the conflict and this guy to develop some interests that are more meaningful than playing video games. Sorting out the complexities of life takes time, and can be quite confusing when you are in the midst of conflicting information and the cross purposes of people who are less than honest with you because they barely know themselves.

 

[blue_ladybug]

At 14, this is puppy love. At the most, a serious crush. He is NOT your "significant other". He's a guy who likes to flirt with other girls, and from the sound of it, does it right in front of you. Add to that, the fact that he uses profanity when out in public. AND you say his parents have "scarred" him in some way, which indicates that he may have serious issues going on at home. Issues which YOU probably shouldn't get involved in..

 

[hannahcorn]

At 14, this is puppy love. At the most, a serious crush. He is NOT your "significant other". He's a guy who likes to flirt with other girls, and from the sound of it, does it right in front of you. Add to that, the fact that he uses profanity when out in public. AND you say his parents have "scarred" him in some way, which indicates that he may have serious issues going on at home. Issues which YOU probably shouldn't get involved in..

I clarified this in another post, i did not know the true meaning of significant other, i apologize. I try not to get involved in his issues going on at home, i only found out from a friend and we only talked about it once for a short time. I don't think it is something i will ever bring up out of the blue. I don't know what to do about this flirting though...

 

[Ugly]

I know how much teens hate hearing this, I did as a teen, but I have years of experience, both mine and others, and can see things going on you can't recognize yet.
What I see is you downplaying your feelings in order to keep in a relationship you don't want to let go of. This is a Bad precedent to start in your relationship. One day you will get tired of this, but it will be what he expects you to continue doing. Conflict. You're setting yourself up to be disregarded.

He's doing things you don't like and you make excuses for him. And he ignores your complaints. And why shouldn't he? You turn against yourself and take the blame so you don't upset the balance of things. This way his behavior is never at fault. And if he comes from an abusive home, which you suggest, you are the perfect type of person for him to date. Because he has no blame or accountability, you take it all for him. This is a Very bad sign.

Of course he does nice things for you. That's what dating is. And seven months in is still in the lovey dovey phase, roughly.
Did you know the first 6 months (this can be shorter or longer, that's just an average) of dating the brain releases endorpjoned? This is the brain chemical that makes you feel happy. Once that chemical wears off the majority of relationships end. Until that happens the person you're with seems to be the greatest person in the world. To know anything factual about how you feel you need to wait a year.

If he never wants you to be sad or hurt then why does he keep flirting with ither girls? Seems that would hurt you and make you sad. He's already saying one thing and doing the opposite.

Let me share my experience with you. I'm 42. I was dating a woman, the most amazing woman I've ever met. Literally. I grew a lot personally, spiritually. I matured, even at my age. Being with her gave me more growth than I've ever experienced in my life.
She treated me amazingly. She built me up. Made me feel loved and special. Was always good to me.
And she said all the same kinds of things about me.
I'd never been in a relationship like this. Never known anyone like this. We talked about marriage. I Was wanting to propose in the next 6 months. She wanted me to as well.
She had kids. Her kids wanted me to be their stepdad. They loved me, and I loved them.
Being with her gave me peace. Everything pointed to this being God based. But 2 weeks ago she ended it. I can't contact her. No chance of working things out. If there was ever a relationship in my life that seemed like it was from God that was it. But it's gone.
It's easy to see "God" in the things we want to see Him in. There have been times I was in ungodly relationships and convinced myself it was godly.

When I look at your relationship, as an adult with all kinds of experience, I don't see a successful one.
You never stated plainly that your bf was a Christian. Some of what you say implies he's not. And if He's not then take everything I've said and multiply it times 10.

You can show someone love and lead them to Christ without dating. In fact adding romance into the equation often makes it more difficult.

The chance of relationships that start at 14 working out is almost non-existent. The mere idea that God brings a 14 year old their future spouse runs contrary to the bible. That I can already see things wrong between the two of you and your behaviors only further diminishes your chances of lasting.
I would be going against my own conscience if I did or said anything to encourage this.

I'm not God, maybe I'm wrong. But I would be surprised if you two were still together, and happy (big part of it there) by the time you graduate.
And chances if surviving college years goes down drastically too, by the way. You will both change a lot in the next few years.

 

[hannahcorn]

Sorry to break it to you, Hannah, but if he loved you more than anything he would stop doing things that he knows hurt you. However, the fact is, that he loves his freedom and ability to flirt with anyone he wants whenever he wants regardless of how it affects you or the conflict it causes in your relationship with him. Besides which, you are far too young for this type of drama in your life. Ain't nobody got time for that, anyways, no matter their age. If he were to dump you because you come across as insecure and jealous, well, who could blame him? And you would blame yourself, too, and make all kinds of excuses for him even as you were fuming mad at him and hurting so bad you would want to die. Stop it. Just stop doing what you are doing. Take a step back from the conflict and this guy to develop some interests that are more meaningful than playing video games. Sorting out the complexities of life takes time, and can be quite confusing when you are in the midst of conflicting information and the cross purposes of people who are less than honest with you because they barely know themselves.

you're totally right. I don't want to be dumped by him though, i want to be strong and confident in the lord. I am trying harder to not be selfish and try to think of what Jesus would do, and try to see this situation through God's eyes. I also draw quite often more than play video games, and i really wish i could play soccer like I used to. But i have asthma so that limits my abilities I am not fuming mad at him, i just get really upset, and i say very insecure things of which i should not. I don't want to lose him right now though, only if God says i should. and i don't know how to tell

 

[Magenta]

you're totally right. I don't want to be dumped by him though, i want to be strong and confident in the lord. I am trying harder to not be selfish and try to think of what Jesus would do, and try to see this situation through God's eyes. I also draw quite often more than play video games, and i really wish i could play soccer like I used to. But i have asthma so that limits my abilities I am not fuming mad at him, i just get really upset, and i say very insecure things of which i should not. I don't want to lose him right now though, only if God says i should. and i don't know how to tell

Listen to Ugly. He says it all so much better than I do. However, I was not saying you are fuming mad at him now, but that you will be if and when the relationship ends after everything you did for him and all the bits of yourself you sacrificed thinking you were doing the right thing when really what it amounts to is you are letting him use you because you get something out of it, some sense of self worth and feeling good about yourself that you should be developing outside of an emotional attachment to a boy who does not respect you enough not to flirt with your best friend whether it is in front of your face or behind your back. You are stirring the pot and the recipe spells disaster and heartbreak. Next thing you know you will be fifteen year old single mom, and he will be with your best friend. You will be living in a world of hurt.

 

[MichaelOwen]

So, for the past two months i've felt like my significant other has had feeligs for another girl. It seems like he was always being flirty with her and i know she does not like him however she says things that are over the top as well. This man of mine, i've felt was MEANT to be with me purposefully by God. God has given me SOOOOOO many signs that i dont want to get to in to detail of that i should be with this guy. But i often wonder what God would think if i broke up with him. I could never do that though, i love him so much and my bf means the world to me!!<3 Earlier today he was being so flirtacious that i cried out to Jesus, home alone.i told him i was lost, defeated and ready to go in to heaven. I've had this talk with my bf over and over again about his actions and feelings towards her, but each time results in more conflict, and he always assures me that they are just really good friends and are really close. But it hurts me because i feel like as his partner i should be closest to him as selfish as that sounds. Oh lord, he said something to her that hurt me extremely bad. I'm literally hopeless and don't have clue as to what i should really do. I just need all the support i can get, it would mean so much to me if you kept my situation in your prayers, thank you!!

~God bless, hannah

Continue on in God's word, and remember Proverbs 4:23 "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life" If your boyfriend continues to persist in talking to this other woman, then show him distance, but continue in prayer about it. And if he decides to pursue this woman without your knowledge, recall 1 John 2:19

"[FONT=&quot]They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us."

[/FONT]That can be used in two senses, one in a relationship with another person, but also it defines those who walk away from the faith, but you can still use it for this very instance. And keep praying and be patient. The Lord knows the plans that he has for you I will pray for you and your situation as well, and don't forget, you are loved and cared about by not only the Lord, but also by me, a fellow brother in Christ Keep your chin up

 

[hannahcorn]

Thank you all for the advice. The thing is though, i still want to tell him a bunch of romantic stuff but even as good friends it would be awkward. I really just don't want to break up with him for now, i want to see if the flirting gets worse, and if it keeps going wrong then i guess I'll let him know we should be friends. However i don't think i have enough courage for that >-<

 

[MichaelOwen]

Thank you all for the advice. The thing is though, i still want to tell him a bunch of romantic stuff but even as good friends it would be awkward. I really just don't want to break up with him for now, i want to see if the flirting gets worse, and if it keeps going wrong then i guess I'll let him know we should be friends. However i don't think i have enough courage for that >-<

Remember, whenever you feel you don't have the strength, remember who does have the strength. Philippians 4:13 "I can do ALL things through Christ who STRENGTHENS me." You can do it, and trust me, God will honor you if you cling to him and do it right. If it does get worse, it's good to let him know you just want to be friends, he may realize what he has lost. But that's gonna be on him, you will have done your part. Don't sweat it, Christ said take no thought for tomorrow, let tomorrow take care of itself. Live in the here and now, and be joyful! You are His!

 

[Magenta]

Thank you all for the advice. The thing is though, i still want to tell him a bunch of romantic stuff but even as good friends it would be awkward. I really just don't want to break up with him for now, i want to see if the flirting gets worse, and if it keeps going wrong then i guess I'll let him know we should be friends. However i don't think i have enough courage for that >-<

Why would you want to be friends with someone who has little to no respect for you? The person you call your best friend, that other girl, does not respect you either. Do you know how I know? Because if she did, she would not tolerate your boyfriend flirting with her! Don't confuse having boundaries with not being a decent person. Not having strong interpersonal boundaries will ensure that you will be abused by those who can gain from their association with you, without having to give much in return.

It starts, on your part, with being honest, first with yourself, and then with others. Tell the truth. You can do that without blaming him, or her, for how you feel. Tell him what you want. Tell him you want a guy who respects you enough not to flirt with your best friend. That is not breaking up with him. It takes courage be honest with people, because there will be consequences, but you cannot have an authentic relationship without honesty, and the trust that opening up to each other will engender. And, guess what? There are going to be consequences either way. Telling the truth does not mean you are going to get what you want out of this situation, but you will learn along the way what works for you and what does not. You should never agree to be treated less than simply so the other person can have their cake and eat it too.

 

[hannahcorn]

*sigh*i feel like im always going to have a crush on him, and i still want to be friends with him so i can show him love. I don't want to say the truth just yet, because it would be hurtful and i'm just not ready...i don't want any hard feelings right now.. i just want to see how things go but true, this is not what i want in a boyfriend. i know the best thing to do is to just be friends, but i just feel like i can't do that quite yet. Also, i don't know what i should be saying to him right now?? do i act like normal? help?

 

[Magenta]

*sigh*i feel like im always going to have a crush on him, and i still want to be friends with him so i can show him love. I don't want to say the truth just yet, because it would be hurtful and i'm just not ready...i don't want any hard feelings right now.. i just want to see how things go but true, this is not what i want in a boyfriend. i know the best thing to do is to just be friends, but i just feel like i can't do that quite yet. Also, i don't know what i should be saying to him right now?? do i act like normal? help?

What is "acting like normal" to you? It sounds like normal for you is being gaga over this guy Wanna know a secret about how you feel right now? THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Feel good? It will pass. Feel bad? It will pass. Feel like you are always going to have a crush on him despite the fact he does not respect you or your relationship with your best friend? Not to worry. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Hannah, I am not trying to pressure you into doing anything you do not want to do, or don't feel up to doing right now, but I do want you to go into this situation with your eyes open, so that when things go south, you will not be completely blindsided by the pain that will accompany the betrayal. Also, one thing more to consider: who is this guy having a relationship with if he does not know who you really are, because you are afraid to tell him for fear it will hurt his feelings, while he is being busy hurting your feelings?

 

[tourist]

*sigh*i feel like im always going to have a crush on him, and i still want to be friends with him so i can show him love. I don't want to say the truth just yet, because it would be hurtful and i'm just not ready...i don't want any hard feelings right now.. i just want to see how things go but true, this is not what i want in a boyfriend. i know the best thing to do is to just be friends, but i just feel like i can't do that quite yet. Also, i don't know what i should be saying to him right now?? do i act like normal? help?

The best thing to do is to just forgot about having a serious relationship at the age of 14. There is almost a zero chance that this will work out and could cause you harm in your personal life. Finish high school, take a few college courses, enjoy life and then perhaps think about starting a relationship. The relationship that you really should be focusing on is your personal relationship with Jesus. Start reading your bible and say your prayers also. There is no way that this guy is going to be just friends with you. That's probably not what he has on his mind. Avoid trouble and put this out of your mind.