the bar scene

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JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#21
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
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#21
When I was younger I used to love to go to the bars, but that was back in the days of disco and I loved to dance. So I went to dance not to really meet up with someone or to drink. I would take enough money for two drinks and then go and dance the night away.

Looking back at it now - I think I only met one guy that I ever really cared about and he ended up being the father of my daughter. He asked me to marry him but it never happened. I love my daughter though life wouldn't be the same without her and I am still friends with his wife that lives in Beirut Lebanon. He died back in 2010.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#22
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#22
Galatea said:
My idea of bars in the US is they are like places to hook up, unlike pubs in the UK where people eat and drink as well as talk. Of course, I’ve never been in a bar in my life. I’m going by what I see on television and hear people say in real life. My great uncle was shot in the stomach in a bar and lost his leg. Of course, he was sleeping with a man’s wife- so he was not shot by a random stranger. Bars here in my area seem to be dangerous places. People get shot or knifed all the time.
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All the bars in Virginia have to serve food, and they usually have the best burgers, steaks, and sandwiches.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#23
Jul 3, 2015
60,022
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#23
Tommy379 said:
All the bars in Virginia have to serve food, and they usually have the best burgers, steaks, and sandwiches.
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Pub food is often known for being quite high quality.
Always fresh, prepared on the premises, and hearty :D

We sometimes go to a pub to celebrate a family birthday :)
Of course I do not drink while there (or anywhere), and I
have also found as I've aged that the music is too loud haha,
and then I get told that I sound like an old person :rolleyes:[SUB][/SUB]
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#24
Mar 13, 2014
42,581
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69
Tennessee
#24
Lynx said:
For some reason the "Cheers" theme starts playing in my mind. "Sometimes you wanna go / Where everybody knows your name..."
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I watched that show many times. It was a classic. Just a bunch of lonely people hanging out with their friends.
 
laura_charlotte

laura_charlotte

Senior Member
#26
Dec 16, 2012
1,483
114
63
#26
I don't drink, never have, never will. As a christian, I would not ever go to one of those places. Unless God has called you to reach people in such an environment as that, I would encourage you to get involved in your local community and examine how God wants you to spend your time, delving more into His will for your life. That's actually a worthy pursuit for great cause as a christian.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#27
Aug 13, 2014
27,287
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#27
tourist said:
Three guys walk into a bar, a priest, a rabbi, and an imam...
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A priest, a rabbi and a gorilla walk into a bar. The bartender sees them come in and says, "Hey what is this, some kind of joke?"
 
laughingheart

laughingheart

Senior Member
#28
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
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#28
I've thought about my answer to this and it is simply this. No. No my friend. I say this as gently as possible. When you are lonely you are vulnerable. Being a Christian means that our dating/marriage potential is very narrow. In a world full of people it is so easy to be lead off the path. I know you said you don't understand picking up women in bars. It is easy to have a view of not being seduced by some hardcore partier. What about the sweet woman with the soft eyes who has a lovely smile and gentle laugh? This will seem very different. Oh she went to church on holidays as a kid but prefers to just be a good person, and she probably is. Your heart will connect and you will be in a world of trouble.
Compromise is so easy.
Years ago I used to volunteer at a downtown coffee house and street church. A lot of girls came from the suburbs and unfortunately most were not ready for the persuasiveness of the charming smiles and attentiveness of the men. Add the sad stories and these girls fell. One girl I remember, she was nice but not particularly pretty, felt lead to minister at a local club/bar. We tried to talk to her but she went anyways, believing she was there to shine a light and listen. One of the male entertainers focused on her and she was lost. She'd never had such a handsome man pay her attention. The boys at church never gave her this sort of attention. Within the month she was living with him and shortly after that she was pregnant. When she mentioned marriage he was confused. He told to just get an abortion and stop being dramatic. I don't need to go on but my point is that no one is immune from temptation if they walk into it. For you it may be that someone tells you that you are a hero and it makes you feel great. If you are a Christian the Holy Spirit shines. Some people are attracted to that and will seek you out but usually it is not the Christian that pulls the other out but the Christian who is pulled in.
I understand loneliness. I have a love of volunteering and people will love on you big time in that community. I also make conscious decisions to phone people and find out about their lives. I initiate going out with the girls. It is amazing how many people are equally lonely and waiting for someone to find them.
I am just asking you to please not choose this path. It cannot lead to anything but pain. You will be hunted as Satan likes nothing better than to deactivate a committed Christian. You don't have to do bad things, you just have to stop pursuing service to God and a relationship with him.
I do feel your pain. I was left when I was ill. Eighteen years of being married and suddenly you are lost. The temptation of a world of people willing to embrace you is overwhelming. I'd just say it is time to actively pursue getting involved with groups who are going your same direction.
There is not judgement only concern from a fellow traveler. All the best.
 
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maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#29
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
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#29
Bars?

I have never so much as even walked past a bar.

And if I'm lying, may one of my eyes fall out.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#30
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
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#30
But uh... seriously...

If you're hanging out in bars because you feel lonely, you're probably just going to pour more loneliness on your loneliness.


Either directly or indirectly, you're just going to end up more lonely.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#31
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#31
Lynx said:
For some reason I am reminded of an outreach program started in 2010 called beer and bibles. As I recall it was not very well received by the church or by the bars...
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The Vineyard here in St. Pete has a Monday night meet at a local tavern. It is called God and Guinness. Been successfully going on for several years, now.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#33
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
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#33
Willie-T said:
The Vineyard here in St. Pete has a Monday night meet at a local tavern. It is called God and Guinness. Been successfully going on for several years, now.
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I'd like to point out that what Willie is doing is NOT what you're going to find in the average bar in America.

In many countries people have a culture of going to bars to socialize - the focus isn't necessarily on getting drunk.
In America, we have a culture of going to bars to get drunk, and pick up chicks... that's our bar culture here.

Of course there are exceptions.

But what Willie is doing just isn't what you're going to find in the average bar.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#34
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
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#34
I used to hang out with my friend and his wife at this bar every weekend. They had a live band and a dance floor. The music was like classic rock, but back then it was just rock :p... I didn't notice anyone trying to pick up women. Just a lot people there with friends having a good time. One thing I can tell you is its LOUD! My friend and I were in a band so we were used to it.
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#35
#35
tourist said:
Three guys walk into a bar, a priest, a rabbi, and an imam...
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Dino246 said:
Three guys walk into a bar. You'd figure at least one of them would have seen it.
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Lynx said:
A priest, a rabbi and a gorilla walk into a bar. The bartender sees them come in and says, "Hey what is this, some kind of joke?"
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Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
You can't tell me that's just a coincidence. :rolleyes:
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#36
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#36
I met my Christian ex-wife in church, next wife, I'm going to meet in a bar, I'll probably have better results.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#37
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#37
JesusLives said:
When I was younger I used to love to go to the bars, but that was back in the days of disco and I loved to dance. So I went to dance not to really meet up with someone or to drink. I would take enough money for two drinks and then go and dance the night away.

Looking back at it now - I think I only met one guy that I ever really cared about and he ended up being the father of my daughter. He asked me to marry him but it never happened. I love my daughter though life wouldn't be the same without her and I am still friends with his wife that lives in Beirut Lebanon. He died back in 2010.
Click to expand...
I really wanted to go clubbing when disco was popular, but I was too young to get in. I had to stay home while my slightly older relatives went clubbing. I was so jealous! :rolleyes: A few of my relatives met their spouses at those clubs, and they are still married and doing well today! Filipino luck I guess..
 
laughingheart

laughingheart

Senior Member
#39
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#39
Going to the pub with friends is different than going alone because you are lonely. The second scenario is just too vulnerable a situation. You open yourself up to too much risk.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#40
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#40
laughingheart said:
Going to the pub with friends is different than going alone because you are lonely. The second scenario is just too vulnerable a situation. You open yourself up to too much risk.
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When I was younger and first moved out here, I used to frequent this big fancy nightclub across from this big mall out here. The disco era was dying down, it was the early 1990's... but clubbing was still pretty popular. I used to workout a lot back then and actually had women come up and ask me to dance on a few occasions... but I was too shy to ask for their number. :p I did go to Denny's with one girl and her friends one night, but we never got together after that. Ah, the good old days.....

(Oh and I wasn't a christian back then)

Well bars are probably different now, I don't know. I haven't been to a bar or club since the late 90's.. :p
 
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