Who are you?

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Bear with me, but I'm having a dickens of a time trying to write one sentence about who I am to a potential agent, so I'm going to ask you who you are to get some idea what to say.

Sounds easy? Ha! Not as easy as it sounds, because here are the things you can't include:

1. Family relations. (That means no mentioning you're a parent or the child of your parents, or a spouse, or third-cousins thrice removed from Kevin Bacon. No family ties at all.)

2. No employment status, past or present. So it doesn't matter if you own your own company, won the lottery so you don't have to work, or used to be the world's most famous rocket scientist, no work relationship information at all.

3. And let us assume you are a Christian, love the Lord, and all that, but no mention of that either. (He is family relationship.)

Oh, and one more thing: no more than one sentence.

Did it just get harder? I'm so used to identifying myself for what I do for money, (or, in my case, what I did for money), family relationships, and the Lord, I really can't figure out what else to tell someone about me. So, I'm hoping if you can do it, maybe I can catch on how to do it.

So, who are you?
 
Bear with me, but I'm having a dickens of a time trying to write one sentence about who I am to a potential agent, so I'm going to ask you who you are to get some idea what to say.

Sounds easy? Ha! Not as easy as it sounds, because here are the things you can't include:

1. Family relations. (That means no mentioning you're a parent or the child of your parents, or a spouse, or third-cousins thrice removed from Kevin Bacon. No family ties at all.)

2. No employment status, past or present. So it doesn't matter if you own your own company, won the lottery so you don't have to work, or used to be the world's most famous rocket scientist, no work relationship information at all.

3. And let us assume you are a Christian, love the Lord, and all that, but no mention of that either. (He is family relationship.)

Oh, and one more thing: no more than one sentence.

Did it just get harder? I'm so used to identifying myself for what I do for money, (or, in my case, what I did for money), family relationships, and the Lord, I really can't figure out what else to tell someone about me. So, I'm hoping if you can do it, maybe I can catch on how to do it.

So, who are you?

Hello my name is Joe Fizz.
 
I am a person who values honesty, creativity and a sense of humor.

Actually, that sounds a lot of like you, Lynn.
 
I am intelligent,alive,and am passionate about not starving to death.
 
Depending on the person, that can be kind of a scary question to ask, actually.
 
I am a wannabe nerd, a wannabe wife (as I am not, I am not breaking the family limitation), a wannabe skier (as I can't), a wannabe millionaire, and a bassoonplaying dog owner.
 
I am a unique person with a fondness for working,I am a perfectionist so inventory is a task I believe I can handle easily,I know how to carry a conversation as well as how to endure nuisances and I am a bachelor so I can handle long hours of work without need for time off.
 
I am a unique person with a fondness for working,I am a perfectionist so inventory is a task I believe I can handle easily,I know how to carry a conversation as well as how to endure nuisances and I am a bachelor so I can handle long hours of work without need for time off.

(actually was being serious in this post)
 
I am a wannabe nerd, a wannabe wife (as I am not, I am not breaking the family limitation), a wannabe skier (as I can't), a wannabe millionaire, and a bassoonplaying dog owner.

Your dog plays a bassoon? That's amazing.