I am sorry, Blue. I know, intimately, the feeling. Maybe it's too late this time, maybe it's not, but for good night, why can't you DO IT?? I mean do it your way??? If you feel like you are always using YOUR holiday to please everyone else, what about YOU this time? Or next time, if you must wait?
Awww, just remembering when I finally put my foot down and said, "No!" I can't help it -- I am wishing hard for you . . . .
All these years later, no regrets. No wishing for a do-over.