Terrified: Husband watches raw Gore

[MariaJoy01]

Update:
Talked to someone and currently am making a safety plan. I plan to leave in 10 days. No one knows. Not even my family. I am looking at collecting notes and evidence til then. I also am thinking about going for involuntary commitment for him. I will try to get a copy of my old case and ahold of that lawyer. Prayers appreciated.

 

[Depleted]

Update:
Talked to someone and currently am making a safety plan. I plan to leave in 10 days. No one knows. Not even my family. I am looking at collecting notes and evidence til then. I also am thinking about going for involuntary commitment for him. I will try to get a copy of my old case and ahold of that lawyer. Prayers appreciated.

You might want to check your state laws. There is no such thing as "involuntary commitment" in Pennsylvania anymore, and I have no idea which states do still have that and which don't.

I'm also wondering how worried are you if you think you can wait until after the holidays? If he is really that violent, because the holidays are stressors, the uptick in violence happens during the next ten days, not after.

 

[Angela53510]

You are in this situation, not us! But if I lived in the same house as someone watching snuff movies, I would get out sooner, rather than later. Better Christmas alone, than Christmas dead!

 

[OtherWay210]

If your first intuition is to leave, then maybe you should listen to yourself and get out of there.

Maybe you can scheduled a meeting with him in a public place later to explain exactly whats frightening you, if you think you and he want to rectify the situation.

And violence against you is a warning sign .
He should be an adult by now.

If you didn't mention his violence, i would have brushed the videos off as possibly just keeping up with the news, and maybe he went too far with the videos.

Ive watch plenty of Isis videos out of curiosity . But "fathers running over their kids" ???? Thats a odd one . But when you get on a site that list such things, expect that to snowball into more questionable material .

But from how you word things there seems to be more to the story .


IF you do talk to him, make use to express you want to move into the future in a stable family and you need him to communicate well and abandon the internet, because it makes your worried.

If he actually cares about you to any degree he ideally will stop his behavior .



The fact you are scared says a lot so be careful .

 

[aharp]

Do you have a pastor or a wise christian counselor you can talk to? You need some close, personal support. Anyone you could ask to confront him? Are you SURE he is the one watching the videos?

 

[blue_ladybug]

Getting someone else to confront him will only exacerbate the situation.. And it's on his phone/computer, so pretty good bet that it IS HIM watching the videos..

Do you have a pastor or a wise christian counselor you can talk to? You need some close, personal support. Anyone you could ask to confront him? Are you SURE he is the one watching the videos?

 

[tourist]

MariaJoy01 - you need to contact the authorities and request their professional advise.

https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us

Please contact your local FBI office or submit a tip electronically if you have information about:

• Possible acts of terrorism, including violence, funding, or recruitment;
• Persons sympathetic to terrorists or terrorist organizations;
• Suspicious activities that you believe threaten national security, especially suspicious activities that involve foreign powers or foreign organizations;
• Computer crimes or intrusions into computer networks, particularly those associated with national security;
• Corrupt activities in state, local, or federal governments or in law enforcement;
• etc...

The lady is just fearful for the safety of the child and herself. She doesn't need to be worried about national security only the security of herself and her child.

 

[aharp]

I meant that seeking counsel and support from someone closer that a chat room, like a pastor or friend, may be more beneficial to their family. And it is very possible for someone else to access your computer speaking from experience. We had someone hack our computer when we were not even home.

 

[blue_ladybug]

True, but hackers cannot put videos onto someone's computer or phone..

I meant that seeking counsel and support from someone closer that a chat room, like a pastor or friend, may be more beneficial to their family. And it is very possible for someone else to access your computer speaking from experience. We had someone hack our computer when we were not even home.

 

[Solemateleft]

Ya, I can see how I confused my response by copying and pasting too much info from the FBI's help desk site, and not specifically mentioning that their immediate safety was first and foremost on my mind ...

As it is evident that she is being given tremendous advice for her own and her child's safety, I absolutely agree... please do not misinterpret my recommended BLUF statement - given my interpretation of significance of the circumstance ...

Given.

He had been watching videos of father's running over their children and of Isis beheadings!

I stand by my BLUF recommendation as a means of ensuring their SAFETY:

MariaJoy01 - you need to contact the authorities and request their professional advise.

I interpret the specific types of video's he is watching as HIGH RISK and in these cases it is better to be extra safe than to be sorry/wrong. She is/was in need of immediate professional advise - no offense to the well intended CC advise...

God Bless this family and everyone else who comes into contact with this demented individual - for their safety as well...

 

[mj007]

I guess this why we have a legal system that is unbiased and factual based. Snooping is never really a good idea if not done by a professional, who will go to repetitive lengths to validate the initial thought. For all you know he was going through videos and skipped these, never watched them and is as disgusted as you are.

No-one here can assume. You said he has been violent in the past, (and then passing on your own connection to the two) I see why people here are so easily assuming 1 + 1 = 2. But you haven't stated what level of violence. Shoved you? Hit you? Threatened you with a gun? Broke your legs? While I don't condone violence, I think there is violence and there is violence. There are lots of men with anger problems out there, they more need help and support, they are not wired to become some serial killer.

Before you snooped and found what you never dreamed of finding, how did you feel? Were things as fearful and bad as after you snooped?

The way some people are picturing your husband here, is like they watched too many murder mysteries.

In such a situation of fearful reaction, people often exaggerate their own opinions. I don't know if he is some horrible monster or just a human being with issues and needs some support. You know more than I do. But if you don't entirely know and are worried, then yes follow your intuition and spend some time away.

But I think something you need to do, when you find that safe space, is be somewhat open as to why you are in a safe space. I never heard anything good happen from just cutting off (without reason to that person) someone with anger issues. If that becomes too hard to do directly, then do it indirectly through someone else, or with a letter.

Why is it that when people greatly fear, suddenly there is more stuff to fear than love, and God doesn't exist. And people thrive off fear, and dehumanising people. Look at this thread. Some of the imagination people are having. I don't know whether your husband is such a nasty horrible person to dehumanise. All I know is he was born in God's image.

I hope your family, everyone will be just fine and this can have a happy ending, even if you ended up separating. I hope it all works out the way it is supposed to, in peace, that is God's way.

 

[tourist]

I guess this why we have a legal system that is unbiased and factual based. Snooping is never really a good idea if not done by a professional, who will go to repetitive lengths to validate the initial thought. For all you know he was going through videos and skipped these, never watched them and is as disgusted as you are.

No-one here can assume. You said he has been violent in the past, (and then passing on your own connection to the two) I see why people here are so easily assuming 1 + 1 = 2. But you haven't stated what level of violence. Shoved you? Hit you? Threatened you with a gun? Broke your legs? While I don't condone violence, I think there is violence and there is violence. There are lots of men with anger problems out there, they more need help and support, they are not wired to become some serial killer.

No level of violence is acceptable against a woman.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

I guess this why we have a legal system that is unbiased and factual based. Snooping is never really a good idea if not done by a professional, who will go to repetitive lengths to validate the initial thought. For all you know he was going through videos and skipped these, never watched them and is as disgusted as you are.

No-one here can assume. You said he has been violent in the past, (and then passing on your own connection to the two) I see why people here are so easily assuming 1 + 1 = 2. But you haven't stated what level of violence. Shoved you? Hit you? Threatened you with a gun? Broke your legs? While I don't condone violence, I think there is violence and there is violence. There are lots of men with anger problems out there, they more need help and support, they are not wired to become some serial killer.

Before you snooped and found what you never dreamed of finding, how did you feel? Were things as fearful and bad as after you snooped?

The way some people are picturing your husband here, is like they watched too many murder mysteries.

In such a situation of fearful reaction, people often exaggerate their own opinions. I don't know if he is some horrible monster or just a human being with issues and needs some support. You know more than I do. But if you don't entirely know and are worried, then yes follow your intuition and spend some time away.

But I think something you need to do, when you find that safe space, is be somewhat open as to why you are in a safe space. I never heard anything good happen from just cutting off (without reason to that person) someone with anger issues. If that becomes too hard to do directly, then do it indirectly through someone else, or with a letter.

Why is it that when people greatly fear, suddenly there is more stuff to fear than love, and God doesn't exist. And people thrive off fear, and dehumanising people. Look at this thread. Some of the imagination people are having. I don't know whether your husband is such a nasty horrible person to dehumanise. All I know is he was born in God's image.

I hope your family, everyone will be just fine and this can have a happy ending, even if you ended up separating. I hope it all works out the way it is supposed to, in peace, that is God's way.

I can tell you have never been a woman at the hands of an abusive man

 

[notuptome]

No level of violence is acceptable against a woman.

In some churches this would get a big AMEN. I think they call it a witness down south.

Men do not abuse women and husbands do not abuse their wives. Spoiled males and self centered males take their frustrations borne from their personal failures out on those who are defenseless. They prey on the weak women and children.

Before political correctness came into play these were taken out behind the barn and given a practical lesson on how to treat others and especially women and children. Works for Sodomites as well.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[Rosemaryx]

If he is feeding himself with these kinds of things, then he will act out these kind of things he is feeding himself with ...Whatever a man sows, he will reap, we are warned not to put evil before our eyes...

I will pray for you, and do not wait to find out just get out, it is very disturbing what he has been watching, when he has fed himself up on that stuff then what next will he hunger for...xox...

 

[ColoradoGal]

Just to clarify our relationship is not good and he has been very angry and temperamental. I honestly don't know what to do. I am scared and concerned about his mental health and my and my daughter's safety. When I mentioned Christmas I don't want to just disappear on him right then. I don't know what to think or do.

He watches it because he likes it and probably fantasizes about it. You need to leave.

 

[ColoradoGal]

Should I wait til after the Holidays?

Why are you waiting until after the holidays?

 

[heartofdavid]

There is a video on youtube of a muslim boy getting his arm run over by a truck in punishment,but if that constitutes dangerous behavior by watching it,i must need counceling or something.

Just how many vids are we talking about here?
2?

 

[MariaJoy01]

I'm waiting til after the holidays because of people (3 little girls and our parents) in our lives, and this has been going on well over a month. It's every 2 days 5-10 a night. It is him watching them. Violence in the past was not assault but broken furniture and doors, I was granted an ex-parte order against him once. He's not a bad person he's been trying hard to be better, however I am aware that he is more likely to not stay better.

 

[blue_ladybug]

As someone who has been abused, broken doors and furniture WILL escalate into broken bones.... Restraining orders don't work, I've had those and they got violated time and again.. Please get out while you can..

I'm waiting til after the holidays because of people (3 little girls and our parents) in our lives, and this has been going on well over a month. It's every 2 days 5-10 a night. It is him watching them. Violence in the past was not assault but broken furniture and doors, I was granted an ex-parte order against him once. He's not a bad person he's been trying hard to be better, however I am aware that he is more likely to not stay better.