I am at the University contemplating the meaning of life.
Here I am, too old to study, yet I am seriously trying to finally get my master's degree. I have credits enough for three bachelor degrees, and it is time to grow up.
Feeling like a dinosaur I don't even try to fit in. I am the same age or older than the professors, and I am somehow feeling like a failure not having managed to do this earlier. And I feel old and tired. I am not used to write those academic papers that say nothing else than an one-liner would do on pages after pages. I like to say what I need to say, and then I am done.
Still I enjoy being here. i have tons of good memories from previous studies starting back over 25 years ago. I love the knowledge and the intellectual talk. Sometimes I listen in to young students trying so hard to be intellectual, and it amuses me. It is like another world. And what is the best, is that here I am not judged by my physical apperance or ability, but for my mind and intellect. I feel free from my body's limitations. Perhaps it reminds me of what Heaven would be like. The freedom to be who we all are created to be.
Here I am, too old to study, yet I am seriously trying to finally get my master's degree. I have credits enough for three bachelor degrees, and it is time to grow up.
Feeling like a dinosaur I don't even try to fit in. I am the same age or older than the professors, and I am somehow feeling like a failure not having managed to do this earlier. And I feel old and tired. I am not used to write those academic papers that say nothing else than an one-liner would do on pages after pages. I like to say what I need to say, and then I am done.
Still I enjoy being here. i have tons of good memories from previous studies starting back over 25 years ago. I love the knowledge and the intellectual talk. Sometimes I listen in to young students trying so hard to be intellectual, and it amuses me. It is like another world. And what is the best, is that here I am not judged by my physical apperance or ability, but for my mind and intellect. I feel free from my body's limitations. Perhaps it reminds me of what Heaven would be like. The freedom to be who we all are created to be.
I think I can identify with you to a great extent though I am not in your situation. I am over the hill. You are still at the top now looking at the down side. You are wondering what to do with your life still, I think.
Most of my future is behind me and I am wondering what good did I do with my life and what do I do now. The most important thing in my life right now (and I think it should have been the most important thing throughout my life) is to get to know God's love for me better right now, respond to that love to Him, and then reflect that love to the world around me.
I am confident that if I do that first the rest isn't quite so important and I can trust Him to do with me as He pleases.
For what it's worth.
Earnest