Give advice: POTENTIALLY dating a non-Christian

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Calmador

Calmador

Senior Member
Jun 23, 2011
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So, I asked a girl out that I'm not sure is Christian. This was in the context of college classes.

Before I asked her out, I covertly tested to see if she was Christian. I mentioned God and that I was taking a theology class at a bible college. She didn't react in a way to indicate that she was Christian. But, at least, that's enough of a clue for her to know I'm Christian.

We decided to date later, a month later... we're both really busy right now. I'm okay with waiting, but her being okay with waiting is a bit curious. On the other hand, she seems more laid back than most girls I've ever met. We'll see.

Best case scenario she's a Christian, just don't know it yet

Worst case... she's not.

Advice?
 
Studying theology is not something only Christians do. It seems you are operating under a number of assumptions, and hope she is, too. That doesn't seem right. Hopefully you and she will be able to get better acquainted in the weeks to come. That would be a best case scenario, either way. Then you may actually know each other well enough to make a wise decision as to whether dating each other has any potential for a future.
 
Sounds more like you're trying to convince yourself, rather than know anything. The real question is why didn't you be clear abiut your faith and find out where she stands? Unless you were purposefully not wanting to know.
 
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From Magenta and Ugly, that's already two good advices. I can't add anything except to say they have good advices. :cool:
 
Ugly said:
Sounds more like you're trying to convince yourself, rather than know anything. The real question is why didn't you be clear abiut your faith and find out where she stands? Unless you were purposefully not wanting to know.
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I wasn't crystal clear because I suppose I was trying to have a smooth conversation with her, rather than a blatant interview with her.

No, I definitely wanted to know if she was Christian. The covert testing was... in my hopes a good test. A genuine and devoted Christian girl would've lightened up in gladness at the hearing of my taking theology classes. She did not. Most likely she is not Christian, but there's still a chance. I'll be clear on our first date if we ever have one.
 
Calmador said:
So, I asked a girl out that I'm not sure is Christian. This was in the context of college classes.

Before I asked her out, I covertly tested to see if she was Christian. I mentioned God and that I was taking a theology class at a bible college. She didn't react in a way to indicate that she was Christian. But, at least, that's enough of a clue for her to know I'm Christian.

We decided to date later, a month later... we're both really busy right now. I'm okay with waiting, but her being okay with waiting is a bit curious. On the other hand, she seems more laid back than most girls I've ever met. We'll see.

Best case scenario she's a Christian, just don't know it yet

Worst case... she's not.

Advice?
Click to expand...
Sneeking into singles forum.
Hello Calmador I suggest find out quick . First though pray about this . I can’t say don’t date if she is not . My wife was a Christian when she married me. I was a atheist at the time . It was difficult but it worked . Perhaps her in my life was part of God’s plan for my coming to belief. I will state scripture dose have much to say about being unequally yoked.
I know we may not agree on some things concerning salvation. I still will keep you an this young lady in my prayers.
Blessings
Bill
 
Calmador said:
The covert testing was... in my hopes a good test. A genuine and devoted Christian girl would've lightened up in gladness at the hearing of my taking theology classes. She did not. Most likely she is not Christian, but there's still a chance.
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You're being discreet for no reason.

Just straight-up ask if she is religious on your first date - then she can answer "no" or whatever religion she is. If you wait until your 4th or 5th date and then find out she's not, you'll feel worse and more reluctant to end the relationship (if faith is a priority for you).

These mind games are completely pointless, trust me.
 
JonahLynx said:
You're being discreet for no reason.

Just straight-up ask if she is religious on your first date - then she can answer "no" or whatever religion she is. If you wait until your 4th or 5th date and then find out she's not, you'll feel worse and more reluctant to end the relationship (if faith is a priority for you).

These mind games are completely pointless, trust me.
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Well said..
 
Personally, I prefer to find these things out before dating them. Attachments form far too fast for me to want to play around with a potentially non-Christian, since I obviously would never marry one.
 
Yeah. Alpha up and ask her. There are cool ways of doing it.

Start with a theological topic or related news item then, out of "curiosity" ask her what she believes and why.

If she shares your beliefs, cool. If she doesn't, you put her on the defensive. Get her to question why she believes what she believes. Good crack in the door for witnessing.
 
Calmador said:
So, I asked a girl out that I'm not sure is Christian. This was in the context of college classes.

Before I asked her out, I covertly tested to see if she was Christian. I mentioned God and that I was taking a theology class at a bible college. She didn't react in a way to indicate that she was Christian. But, at least, that's enough of a clue for her to know I'm Christian.

We decided to date later, a month later... we're both really busy right now. I'm okay with waiting, but her being okay with waiting is a bit curious. On the other hand, she seems more laid back than most girls I've ever met. We'll see.

Best case scenario she's a Christian, just don't know it yet

Worst case... she's not.

Advice?
Click to expand...

My advice is to actually ask her out on a date and stop being so tentative.
 
Just to get know her. You don't have to interview her.

By the first or second date - depending on how your conversation goes, you'll find out anyway.

The person I am currently seeing is a Presbyterian (but is not a Calvinist... YES!). I didn't know that until the second date.
 
Rachel20 said:
Just to get know her. You don't have to interview her.

By the first or second date - depending on how your conversation goes, you'll find out anyway.

The person I am currently seeing is a Presbyterian (but is not a Calvinist... YES!). I didn't know that until the second date.
Click to expand...

Oh. Him. Yeah, I found out about that on the second date too. I got rid of him :p.
 
Advice? Just ask her!
And don't take a vague "sure, I guess" for an answer. I did that.... my mistake.
 
toinena said:
Advice? Just ask her!
And don't take a vague "sure, I guess" for an answer. I did that.... my mistake.
Click to expand...

In fact, when they say "yes" say: "Yeah? Wheredaya go to church? I'd like to come with you sometime." :)
 
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