This morning has been tough so far.
Less than a week into a new round of my health program, I've already fallen off the wagon.
I just finished a Chick-fil-A sandwich and fries. Last night I had Mexican.
After hitting the 30-pounds-lost mark, I've had several stops and starts. I've gained several pounds and lost several pounds more than once.
I need to lose 80-100 pounds more. Yes, I'm that heavy.
I can do this. I know I can.
I need to find replacements for food. Right now it's still too much of a reward/comfort for me. I lack romantic love in my life, and I lack affection.
I know God loves me, but I long for touch and human affection.
This makes it difficult to feel fulfilled in life. It's like there's a vacuum in part of my life that food is filling, and when I try to take it away my heart and body rebel.
I'm dealing with a lot of mental negativity today (thoughts like I don't care anymore, etc.). My heart is holding a lot of grief. I don't feel valued or treasured by any human. And I don't think I ever have.
It's a strange thing to have a heart that's starved and a body that's obese.
Help me out of the pit, Lord.
Less than a week into a new round of my health program, I've already fallen off the wagon.
I just finished a Chick-fil-A sandwich and fries. Last night I had Mexican.
After hitting the 30-pounds-lost mark, I've had several stops and starts. I've gained several pounds and lost several pounds more than once.
I need to lose 80-100 pounds more. Yes, I'm that heavy.
I can do this. I know I can.
I need to find replacements for food. Right now it's still too much of a reward/comfort for me. I lack romantic love in my life, and I lack affection.
I know God loves me, but I long for touch and human affection.
This makes it difficult to feel fulfilled in life. It's like there's a vacuum in part of my life that food is filling, and when I try to take it away my heart and body rebel.
I'm dealing with a lot of mental negativity today (thoughts like I don't care anymore, etc.). My heart is holding a lot of grief. I don't feel valued or treasured by any human. And I don't think I ever have.
It's a strange thing to have a heart that's starved and a body that's obese.
Help me out of the pit, Lord.