Strong Women In Today's World

[Miri]

I quite fancy this one so I guess I'm ready when you are...

View attachment 184415

That’s so you! Lol

 

[whatev]

Right about now, I wouldn't mind submitting to a woman a bit.

I think the pastor would have his work cut out there. We have 3 pastors for a
church with over 1000 adults in attendance. There is a senior, one who oversees the
youth work and a pastor for the adults generally.

Plus there is a counselling service in the church with trained councillors of
both genders. That requires booking in advance, they are not really their though
as a sounding board for every day decisions.

I would prefer to rely on my Heavenly Father. The whole submitting to
a man just doesn’t work if you are unmarried. Possibly it doesn’t work if you
are married either depending on the couple.

The days seem to be long gone when the husband was considered the head
of the household and was able to make good decisions for his family and hold
everything together in a Godly manner.

A lot over here is probably to do with how society has changed so much, many
single parents raising children without a strong good decent father figure.
Women forced out to work by the government and for financial reasons
while their children are still babies and toddlers. So others are influencing
their children while they are at work.

Even where there is a husband and wife, both have to work to keep a roof over
their head.

Lack of Christian standards generally across the country.

Increased articles of abused women, that’s probably always gone on even in
bible times.

Plus in countries where women are still viewed as property, mostly
Muslim countries, women are abused, lack freedom, etc.

I’m replying to you as you are reasonable and understand where I’m coming
from. Such issues as above are rarely raised when the “women” subject
crops up. Posters woukd rather blame women for all societies woos.
Society at all levels, no longer encourages or for that matter, even makes room
for family life to be run in a Godly manner any more.

I’m glad you found a worthy husband, he is one in a million.

That pastor I submitted to, long ago? I didn't submit to him right away. I didn't know him. But his wife was a peach. Mom was gone before I went from child to adult, so I never had a female role model, nor just a women to teach me stuff women are supposed to learn just by growing up in it. I was clueless on all things domestic, except how to clean the house. How to clean a house is useful, but it doesn't put a meal on the table. It doesn't teach how to make a house a home. And it really doesn't teach how to love a spouse.

His wife taught me stuff by learning it herself with me there. We made strawberry jam together, learned we hated being that hot in the kitchen during summertime, and had a good laugh over it. But what I really learned was her kitchen was a disaster zone when her husband came home and how the two of them handled that one. I grew up with, if the house is a disaster when Dad comes home, I'm going to be scolded and treated harshly, so don't make it a disaster zone.

They taught me, if the house is a disaster zone, take time out to appreciate the work it took to look like that, (jars of strawberry jam on the table, glops of strawberry jam on the floor, counter, stove, and around our mouths, the dishwasher was still steaming from sanitizing jars, the hot water still causing steam in the sink from boiling jam and boiling the jam in jars, and very frizzy hair on her. My hair looked more like I had just been drowned. Very ineffective mess, but beautifully designed.) He didn't scold her because dinner wasn't on the table. He had us go to another room where the air-conditioning was working better, and asked if it was worth the effort.

She immediately went back into the kitchen and brought back little bowls of jam, so we could find out. I decided the jam was delicious but not worth the effort, and they laughed. Not at me, but with me. Proud that I could make that decision on my own. (Later on, I found out she never tried it again either.)

I had to go home by then, (dinnertime, and boyfriend/soon-to-be husband was making it for me), but when I left they had already agreed dinner would be ordered in that night. Cleaning up mess would be decided on later, if not the next day.

That is what I learned about marriage, submitting, loving as one of my first lessons for marriage.

That pastor's decision on something else taught me he was worth submitting to. My boyfriend had lost his home when his housemate married, and the pastor sent him to live with an elderly couple who never argued. NEVER. Boyfriend was divorced a year or so earlier than that, and his first wife was bipolar, (not the word used back then, nor something she was diagnosed as having until the marriage was over), so fighting happened often in that marriage, and he had forgotten how to talk it out, rather than fight it out. So brilliant decision. And having had that older couple as part of our courtship taught both of us how to live in a Christian marriage, before we I-doed.

The pastor took the time to find people to help us when we needed help, yet without making it counseling or appointment setting. He did it through friendship and getting us contacted with the right Christians at the right time.

That and not getting mad that we made a mess of his kitchen. That's a better example of how to submit.

Submitting is trusting someone enough to have him help you make decisions. It's not forcing you into certain decisions. It's about wanting you to grow, and being proud when you do grow. It's encouraging, when you need encouragement, and telling concerns if he sees a problem with a decision being made. It's not stopping the decision. It's helping to clarify it. And, if you go with that decision, and it is all the disaster he said it would be? Then it's help picking up the pieces, deciding what to do next, and being there, when you need someone to be there. There may be an "I told you so," but only when the mess is sorted and you can laugh at it.

No, the world doesn't give us trust. It doesn't even give us people who are trustworthy. But we are not of the world. And the Lord gives us the people we need at the time we need them. Sometimes those are people who submit to us. Sometimes those are people we submit to. But always they are our true brothers and sisters. The ones the Lord adopted, not the ones biology gave us.

That old saying? "Blood is thicker than water?" We've corrupted it to mean the opposite of what it originally meant. "The Lord's blood is thicker than the watered down version of family." His blood is more than family, because he saved us with it. We can love both God and family, but the Lord is trustworthy. Family is always iffy.

We are foreigners in our lands. God still guides us. Not society. And in his guiding, he does lead others to us that we can trust. Not often, but he does. And not often, because we need to trust him above all others, including those we are willing to submit to.

 

[whatev]

In the UK you don’t have any option but to work, that’s unless you are
really rich. Most aren’t. Having said that I know one couple who was
really rich enough so the wife didint have to work. Then the husband
died and the wife didint have a clue about life, managing finances etc.
So even if a couple are really rich. The wife still has to do something,
learn skills, use that brain etc. Submitting has nothing to do with not using
your skills and brain.

Equally I know a wife who ended up in a care home following a stroke.
Her husband had no idea how to cook or use the washing machine.

The government won’t allow women to just stay at home and look
after the children even if they want to. Plus women have valuable skills
too. Where we would be with no females nurses doctors, teachers etc.

I’m not saying women shouldn’t work at all. In an ideal world they have
skills and a brain which should be used, but families shouldn’t be put in
a position by ungodly governments , whereby they are unable to raise their
own children.

I do agree that schools and society generally with its political correctness,
no longer allow for society to be run the way God intended.

Then there are also all the absent fathers who have their fun and leave.
Women have their fun as well but they are the ones left with the consequences.

The issue is far wider than “thy scoundrel of a woman submit or else”.

Some of us don't have the personality to be Miss Suzy Homemaker. Some of us do. I am of the former personality. I still stink at being domestic, but that's okay, because I made sure he knew that about me going in.

Even if the government didn't set up taxing income in such a way that within 20 years both men and women had to work, I would have worked. It reordered home life in such a way that we both chipped in.

BUT, even though I can now put a meal on the table, I do the bills, and we have arranged everything into who does what, (with an empathize on doing what you like to do and giving the other person what you hate to do, which is how I landed on doing the bills and he landed on making dinner), I still can't do some things. We bought a TV last week. Samsung, so the directions are useless, if they exist. (It has something like 40 keys on the remote control and yet no directions on how to use the remote control. We took 45 minutes to find the spot were the cord goes in to turn it on, because the first directions on how to set it up was to turn it on.) He's been playing with the remote and settings for the last two days. All I can do with the remote is type in my email address and passwords to get into our streaming services. (It's set up for qwerty, and yet there is no keyboard, just directional arrows to use. I never realized how much I know about keyboard typing is from just-knowing now, instead of alphabet, until I have to think out where any letter is on the keyboard. I just don't know without studying the whole keyboard.) I told him he can't die on me because I can never afford how much it would cost to get someone in to set up a new TV and tutor me in remote control.

There is always something, no matter how much people work together if a spouse dies. That's not about rich or poor. It's about trusting the other enough to do what you don't like doing, and then forgetting that some day you may have to do it because the other can't.

Dad never taught me how to cook, and I never wanted to learn how to cook from him, because he teaches like I'm two years old and spanking is still an option. When I went to college, I had to cook dinner. That's when it dawned on me I didn't know how to cook. My roommate thought I was an idiot, because I bought pork chops but had to ask her how to cook them. She did teach me, but I figured out how to cook in a hurry.

That's what it will be like for me, if DH dies. I'll feel stupid again, but will learn because I'll have to. Been there before. Will be there again.

At one time I started my own business and was making a good go at it. BUT I don't know how to use the remote on a TV.

 

[Miri]

My aunt is 83 and she still cant cook. Lol

I’ve lost count of how many raw or burnt meals we have had over the years.
But hey she raised us all single handed and managed it all without a man’s help.
She had no choice, which is why threads like these that demean women and
imply women are somehow a lower human, make me mad and sad.

 

[whatev]

I do not now how in the UK, but in Germany many women are at home.

Also, I am sure that positions like businessmen, software developers, doctors etc are rich enough to live from one salary.

Yes, women should use brain I was just talking about society. That to stay at home is seen as something degrading, by many, even Christian, women.

Do you think it's degrading?

I don't. I tried it out early in my marriage and hated it. So I worked. I admire women that stayed home, because I'd much rather do the spreadsheets for a business that makes millions, or even billions of dollars every year, than go through all the hard work, mothers and wives do in a house. At least I get to sit when I'm frustrated over a task. They are usually standing, walking, stooping, carrying, teaching, reorganizing, fitting things in, running around, and going from 6 AM to 11 PM on a good day. Eight hour work days are a wonderful thing. They beat 19 hour work days seven days a week, with holidays being busier days, not days off.

 

[whatev]

In the UK, they don’t like anyone claiming benefits. Plus they have since
reduced child benefit (you only get benefit for the first child, and reduced amount for
second child, nothing for any more).

Plus they have also capped how much they pay out for housing benefit (help towards
rent) and, if you live in a Council house but have too many bedrooms. Say two
people live in a 3 bedroom house as someone has left. Now you have to pay a bedroom
tax for the spare bedroom. Forcing people to move to smaller houses away from their
place of employment, so more money spent on moving or travelling to work.

So these people who have more than one or two children, or have a spare bedroom,
or live somewhere expensive like London. Now have found themselves with a
cut in benefits.

It doesn’t just affect unemployed, it affects working families too who claim
family tax credits and benefits. In fact working families are struggling the most
and claim the lions share of benefits.

Even if the wife manages to find a part time job. It has to be at least
22 hours a week to be worth their while. Otherwise they lose out
financially.

In Europe on paper we have a very low unemployment rate, that’s because the
government has forced everyone out to work regardless of circumstances.
But many jobs are low paid, low quality or part time.

That plus the rise in house prices and rent is putting a lot of pressure even
on rich people. You can’t really buy a house now for less than £100,000.
In many the most popular cities and also the countryside you are looking
at minimum £200,000 to £300,000. Places like London you are looking at
half a million for a basic home with a couple of bedrooms.

The cost of renting and buying houses needs to come down, as a massive
chunk of people’s wages goes into keeping a roof over your head.

Has it really changed? When I was young, 25% of income went towards housing. Now 33%. When my dad was young, 25% of income went towards housing.

 

[trofimus]

Do you think it's degrading?

I don't. I tried it out early in my marriage and hated it. So I worked. I admire women that stayed home, because I'd much rather do the spreadsheets for a business that makes millions, or even billions of dollars every year, than go through all the hard work, mothers and wives do in a house. At least I get to sit when I'm frustrated over a task. They are usually standing, walking, stooping, carrying, teaching, reorganizing, fitting things in, running around, and going from 6 AM to 11 PM on a good day. Eight hour work days are a wonderful thing. They beat 19 hour work days seven days a week, with holidays being busier days, not days off.

I think that women should be at home, or at least to work just for a short week.

But its hard today, financially. And, as I said, also psychologically for a woman. Her friends or ex-classmates will have carieer and she will have to answer their questions like "well, I am at home".

On the other hand, nobody can be with somebody all day long (if for example husband works from home), so its important to have some personal time and space.

Thats my view

 

[whatev]

Yes, keeping a roof over your head together with food is the highest chunk of people's wages that goes away.

I just do not think its so depressive, I think its normal. If half of your wage goes to your living, you still have a half for yourself to save.

So it depends on how much you can save from a common salary in the UK.

Also, many people already have a house for example from parents.

If half of your wages go to housing, you bought too high a price for your housing. If you lose a job, your savings will be gone quickly, and then your home.

 

[whatev]

My aunt is 83 and she still cant cook. Lol

I’ve lost count of how many raw or burnt meals we have had over the years.
But hey she raised us all single handed and managed it all without a man’s help.
She had no choice, which is why threads like these that demean women and
imply women are somehow a lower human, make me mad and sad.

I consider these kinds of posts odorants. The opposite of deodorants. They don't demean women. They point out who stinks at knowing anything about women. But what they don't know is the odor they give off repels women, so they will never be close enough to a woman to marry.

It's like spraying on Ode de Skunk and thinking it's a chick magnet.

 

[Miri]

Has it really changed? When I was young, 25% of income went towards housing. Now 33%. When my dad was young, 25% of income went towards housing.

Oh it’s changed a lot in the UK. Many people pay 50% or more towards their housing costs.
More people than ever in their 20s and 30s, still live with mum and dad as they can’t
afford to live in their own place.

Shortages of affordable housing is a real problem in the UK.

Often 20 something’s end up getting together with friends and renting together,
it’s the only way they can afford to leave home. There are several where I work who
all rent together. But if one leaves they end up in a mess.

A friend a church rented a house with 3 others. Then one left and the remaining 3
had to leave too as they could not afford the rent any more.

A lot of private landlords, buy run down houses. Do them out then rent them
out. They might buy a 4 bedroom house, and rent each room out as a bedsit and
so have 4 separate tenants. The tenants might have to pay anything between
£450 to £1500 per month for a single room to rent. It depends what part of the
country you live in.

Private rents are often higher than buying your own
place. So people can’t save up for a deposit to buy their own place.

 

[Miri]

I think that women should be at home, or at least to work just for a short week.

But its hard today, financially. And, as I said, also psychologically for a woman. Her friends or ex-classmates will have carieer and she will have to answer their questions like "well, I am at home".

On the other hand, nobody can be with somebody all day long (if for example husband works from home), so its important to have some personal time and space.

Thats my view

There is a bit of a problem with that. What if the man is left looking after the
children as a single parent. Or what if the woman earns more than the man.
I don’t think we live in the kind of time where men go to work and women stay
home any more.

Each person’s circumstances are different.

I also know a couple where the husband became disabled so he had to be the
stay at home parent, and the wife had to find a job.

 

[whatev]

I think that women should be at home, or at least to work just for a short week.

But its hard today, financially. And, as I said, also psychologically for a woman. Her friends or ex-classmates will have carieer and she will have to answer their questions like "well, I am at home".

On the other hand, nobody can be with somebody all day long (if for example husband works from home), so its important to have some personal time and space.

Thats my view

As life rolled out, DH and I have been around each other 24/7 about half our married life. First, because we had the same job. Now because both of us no longer work. I like him being around.

 

[Miri]

If half of your wages go to housing, you bought too high a price for your housing. If you lose a job, your savings will be gone quickly, and then your home.

Absolutely but with house prices out stripping wages, many don’t have any choice.

When the recession hit in 2008, everyone’s wages just stayed the same, many ended
up unemployed. But somehow house prices still managed to creep up.

It’s a ticking time bomb.

We rent from the Council and my aunt gets housing benefit so we are ok.
But there is no longer enough council stock to rent out to everyone who needs it
anymore, as lots of council housing has been pulled down and sold off but not
replaced.

Even if I returned to work full time, (and my salary is very good). I would struggle to
rent a house or flat privately in a reasonable area. So would end up in a bed sit
in a run down area.

I count me blessings each day for our present housing situation. God has
provided a lovely two bedroom council house with all mod cons and adaptations for
my aunts needs and me.

 

[trofimus]

If half of your wages go to housing, you bought too high a price for your housing. If you lose a job, your savings will be gone quickly, and then your home.

I do not know how in your country, but in mine (and I think its throughout EU):

a) if you bought a house with a help of a bank loan and you cannot pay it anymore, they will sell your house so you will get the money you put into the house back (more or less) and you can go to a rental flat until your situation will get better

b) if you are in a rent, state will help you pay it if you are unemployed.

So, its virtually impossible to lose your home, in Europe. Homeless people are mostly drug addicted, drunk people who do not want to get back to normal life.

 

[whatev]

Oh it’s changed a lot in the UK. Many people pay 50% or more towards their housing costs.
More people than ever in their 20s and 30s, still live with mum and dad as they can’t
afford to live in their own place.

Shortages of affordable housing is a real problem in the UK.

Often 20 something’s end up getting together with friends and renting together,
it’s the only way they can afford to leave home. There are several where I work who
all rent together. But if one leaves they end up in a mess.

A friend a church rented a house with 3 others. Then one left and the remaining 3
had to leave too as they could not afford the rent any more.

A lot of private landlords, buy run down houses. Do them out then rent them
out. They might buy a 4 bedroom house, and rent each room out as a bedsit and
so have 4 separate tenants. The tenants might have to pay anything between
£450 to £1500 per month for a single room to rent. It depends what part of the
country you live in.

Private rents are often higher than buying your own
place. So people can’t save up for a deposit to buy their own place.

I think that is a problem with cradle-to-grave government involvement. And, that's not against your country. It's against big government, which America has now joined in on. It's oligarchy at it's inevitability. Something both countries are struggling with now. And the people have already joined the bandwagon.

 

[Miri]

I think that is a problem with cradle-to-grave government involvement. And, that's not against your country. It's against big government, which America has now joined in on. It's oligarchy at it's inevitability. Something both countries are struggling with now. And the people have already joined the bandwagon.

Couldn’t agree more.

You know a country is in trouble when a shed in London is more
expensive than a house elsewhere. See link at the end.

Problem is employers won’t pay a decent wage so workers have to
claim benefits to supplement wages.

Landlord hike up their rents knowing that benefits will pay what the
renters can’t afford.

Then people buy houses above their real means as they forget that a lot of
their income is from benefits. So the house prices increase as demand
increases in the better areas both for buyers and renters.

Then the government says “hang on a minute we need to reduce the
benefits bill”. So they change the rules and suddenly the combined wages
and benefits, no longer cover the costs. Houses get repossessed, people end
up homeless, living in bed sits or moving to poorer areas, so those prices
increase too. Then suddenly there is nowhere affordable to live anymore.

That’s my take on it I’m sure there are other factors, but basically wages are
not keeping up with the cost of living, especially the cost of housing.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/6487ef29-75c9-4f93-8c0a-326f6f056ecd

 

[pjharrison]

A few chuckles now and then doesn't hurt anybody loosen up a bit.

It's time to get serious, Christ will be back in a few years. Could be a few months.

 

[Miri]

It's time to get serious, Christ will be back in a few years. Could be a few months.

Even Jesus has a sense of humour. Have you not heard that the Joy of the
Lord is your strength.

There are different seasons see Ecclesiastes ch 3.
Maybe people are just in a different season to yourself, if you feel like being
serious that’s ok. If others want to express their humour that’s ok too.

 

[pjharrison]

Your god is weak. Try the real Lord.

And how do I do That?

 

[Dino246]

It's time to get serious, Christ will be back in a few years. Could be a few months.

I trust you repent each and every time the temptation to laugh overcomes your holiness, then?