Suggestions

[Faith-n-Christ]

Hello everybody,

Ok here goes, I'm trusting in y'all now. 😀

Roughly 2 yrs ago I joined this group. Mainly looking for fellowship. It had been several years since my divorce and I was missing fellowship and conversation. I was a member of a very LARGE church and that was a bit overwhelming. And I just went into retirement. Anyway was considering dating at the time. After 15 yrs of marriage it to seemed overwhelming. I chose to travel instead. Mainly places that had limited internet.

I have revisited the idea of dating. Now that I don't have to work, and where I live is a small town. How on earth do you get out there. I have visited a few churches here. All pretty small and none have a singles group.
(Oh, I moved to be by my grandmother. She is getting up in age) new town for me.

Have any of you done the online dating? What where your experiences?

See I don't have alot of experience dating. I was engaged once. We met at the store. And my ex well I was set up with him on a date I knew nothing about by a family member, friend, and boss. I haven't been on a date since 1999. oh man I feel like a dinosaur 😬.

I am open to any suggestions and advice.

 

[Mel85]

Hello everybody,

Ok here goes, I'm trusting in y'all now. 😀

Roughly 2 yrs ago I joined this group. Mainly looking for fellowship. It had been several years since my divorce and I was missing fellowship and conversation. I was a member of a very LARGE church and that was a bit overwhelming. And I just went into retirement. Anyway was considering dating at the time. After 15 yrs of marriage it to seemed overwhelming. I chose to travel instead. Mainly places that had limited internet.

I have revisited the idea of dating. Now that I don't have to work, and where I live is a small town. How on earth do you get out there. I have visited a few churches here. All pretty small and none have a singles group.
(Oh, I moved to be by my grandmother. She is getting up in age) new town for me.

Have any of you done the online dating? What where your experiences?

See I don't have alot of experience dating. I was engaged once. We met at the store. And my ex well I was set up with him on a date I knew nothing about by a family member, friend, and boss. I haven't been on a date since 1999. oh man I feel like a dinosaur 😬.

I am open to any suggestions and advice.

Hey sis. Thanks for sharing.

I’ve done online dating once, well it was more of a long distance relationship. I don’t recommend it unless you or he is willing to move.

Bottom line is, my experience didn’t turn out the way I planned but I knew the risks and still went with it and it didn’t work out.

But I do know of others that online dating has worked out for them. And don’t feel bad about not going on a date in years, I haven’t been on a date in like 7 years lol.

 

[Hungry]

You did say you were open to any suggestions....My question is why do you want a man at this point in time? If it’s because you are lonely, a dog may be a more suitable partner. I think relationships are rooted in need. As a young couple biology and physiology is both the attraction and the glue. Social conditioning prepares us to desire a mate and tricks us into believing it will complete us and make us happy. Soon, as you have experienced, it is learned that marriage isn’t the rosebed imagined. Today’s world does not train us to be two halves that compliment each other’s differences. We are trained to be individuals, strong and independent. Your time alone may be lonely but now you are more independent than most. A partner may be either too needy of you, or over critical. A single man at this turn in the path will bring his own baggage and independence and expectations. Maybe he’s the reason he’s single, because he is intolerable. What type of emotional and time investment are you willing to risk? Dating is fun, like going to a casino is fun. There are the flashy lights and expectation of getting more out of than what you put in. There is always risk involved and this is part of the allure.

I just wanted to put that out there because most people when making decisions are bias to see only the positives and reject the possibility of negatives. That being said, finding a partner you are compatible with would be most likely by meeting while doing something you are both passionate about. I’m not single, but if I was, since fitness is important to me, I would join a gym (even though I have enough equipment in my home). If I enjoyed playing cards, there are groups that meet at churches weekly. If I enjoyed animals, I would get a dog and bring them to dog parks where many dog owners meet and socialize. Church is great but you need to participate in the social events, and small groups where there is more interaction. No matter what the venue, if you want to attract a mate, then be attractive. Learn how to flirt. Laugh at their jokes, make them feel more interesting than they are. Often we are not attracted as much to special people, as we are attracted to people who make us feel special. Remembering someone’s birthday, noticing slight changes in their appearance, and letting them talk about themselves, attentive to every word, smiling through their anecdotes and asking questions on stuff they just said (like you are really curious) are all good ways. Never forget, everybody loves a cheerleader! Men don’t want a strong woman, they want a woman who makes them feel strong. Learn how to be diplomatic, challenge without offending. I’m sure ego is a huge issue for all men also reentering the dating arena. They may be shy so if you are interested you may not want to wait for them to make the first move. Be blessed.

 

[Ugly]

Going on dates is so horrid. I prefer to meet people outside of a dating atmosphere and make a friend. Sometimes that turns romantic. And the transition from friend to officially dating is easy. And no awkward first dates.
It's a slower method though. So if you're in a hurry it won't work for you.

Online dating gets a bad rap but dates were going wrong long before the internet.
Dating sites, even Christian ones can be risky as many join to find sex, not marriage.

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

You did say you were open to any suggestions....My question is why do you want a man at this point in time? If it’s because you are lonely, a dog may be a more suitable partner. I think relationships are rooted in need. As a young couple biology and physiology is both the attraction and the glue. Social conditioning prepares us to desire a mate and tricks us into believing it will complete us and make us happy. Soon, as you have experienced, it is learned that marriage isn’t the rosebed imagined. Today’s world does not train us to be two halves that compliment each other’s differences. We are trained to be individuals, strong and independent. Your time alone may be lonely but now you are more independent than most. A partner may be either too needy of you, or over critical. A single man at this turn in the path will bring his own baggage and independence and expectations. Maybe he’s the reason he’s single, because he is intolerable. What type of emotional and time investment are you willing to risk? Dating is fun, like going to a casino is fun. There are the flashy lights and expectation of getting more out of than what you put in. There is always risk involved and this is part of the allure.

I just wanted to put that out there because most people when making decisions are bias to see only the positives and reject the possibility of negatives. That being said, finding a partner you are compatible with would be most likely by meeting while doing something you are both passionate about. I’m not single, but if I was, since fitness is important to me, I would join a gym (even though I have enough equipment in my home). If I enjoyed playing cards, there are groups that meet at churches weekly. If I enjoyed animals, I would get a dog and bring them to dog parks where many dog owners meet and socialize. Church is great but you need to participate in the social events, and small groups where there is more interaction. No matter what the venue, if you want to attract a mate, then be attractive. Learn how to flirt. Laugh at their jokes, make them feel more interesting than they are. Often we are not attracted as much to special people, as we are attracted to people who make us feel special. Remembering someone’s birthday, noticing slight changes in their appearance, and letting them talk about themselves, attentive to every word, smiling through their anecdotes and asking questions on stuff they just said (like you are really curious) are all good ways. Never forget, everybody loves a cheerleader! Men don’t want a strong woman, they want a woman who makes them feel strong. Learn how to be diplomatic, challenge without offending. I’m sure ego is a huge issue for all men also reentering the dating arena. They may be shy so if you are interested you may not want to wait for them to make the first move. Be blessed.

Wow, thank you. I do have a wonderful dog😀. Sometimes I feel lonely. But I can assure you that would not be the reason. IE. Bad marriage in my early 20s. Learned my lesson. I agree no one can make me happy for complete me. I did alot of learning, and self exploration to figure out what went wrong on my end. I'm not looking for fireworks and fairytales. I did alot of learning about what real love is. Two people becoming one and remaining two takes alot of work. Christ being the key foundation.
I have also explored your question why do I seek a relationship. My marriage was lonely, Unstable and unreliable. I don't need someone to take care of me. I desire to share my life with someone. That I can give the deepest most intimate parts of my heart to. Someone to share in life's decisions, to enjoy the ups and stand by on the downs. To grow closer in the Lord with. Someone to hold on the cold nights and dance in the rain with. To stand by his side and fight with him. To get dirty in the trenches with. Anyway, both eyes are wide open. I know the challenges.
Thank you also for your openness in both pointing out facts and pointers. Very grateful for both. Have a wonderful and blessed week.

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

Going on dates is so horrid. I prefer to meet people outside of a dating atmosphere and make a friend. Sometimes that turns romantic. And the transition from friend to officially dating is easy. And no awkward first dates.
It's a slower method though. So if you're in a hurry it won't work for you.

Online dating gets a bad rap but dates were going wrong long before the internet.
Dating sites, even Christian ones can be risky as many join to find sex, not marriage.

Thank you!!! No I'm not in any hurry.

 

[Lynx]

My suggestion is don't bother with it. Not bothering with it has worked for me for forty years now. On the other hand I'm only one person, so YMMV.

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

Hey sis. Thanks for sharing.

I’ve done online dating once, well it was more of a long distance relationship. I don’t recommend it unless you or he is willing to move.

Bottom line is, my experience didn’t turn out the way I planned but I knew the risks and still went with it and it didn’t work out.

But I do know of others that online dating has worked out for them. And don’t feel bad about not going on a date in years, I haven’t been on a date in like 7 years lol.

Thank you! Got my armor on 📖 eyes wide open 👀 and going to take a step out in faith. Thank you for sharing. I think its how much this world has changed that I don't like. I am on this page and a worldly penpal like that room. Both sites I've gotten unwanted messages. At least in person I can look into their eyes and observe behavior. To much crazy out there my friend. The worlds getting smaller. ☺ thank you

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

My suggestion is don't bother with it. Not bothering with it has worked for me for forty years now. On the other hand I'm only one person, so YMMV.

☺ Thank you Lynx. Your only two years younger than me. My only two attempts I wasn't looking either. One I was smart enough to avoid. One not so much. I just wanted to be better prepared and smarter than the last two. 😊

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

You did say you were open to any suggestions....My question is why do you want a man at this point in time? If it’s because you are lonely, a dog may be a more suitable partner. I think relationships are rooted in need. As a young couple biology and physiology is both the attraction and the glue. Social conditioning prepares us to desire a mate and tricks us into believing it will complete us and make us happy. Soon, as you have experienced, it is learned that marriage isn’t the rosebed imagined. Today’s world does not train us to be two halves that compliment each other’s differences. We are trained to be individuals, strong and independent. Your time alone may be lonely but now you are more independent than most. A partner may be either too needy of you, or over critical. A single man at this turn in the path will bring his own baggage and independence and expectations. Maybe he’s the reason he’s single, because he is intolerable. What type of emotional and time investment are you willing to risk? Dating is fun, like going to a casino is fun. There are the flashy lights and expectation of getting more out of than what you put in. There is always risk involved and this is part of the allure.

I just wanted to put that out there because most people when making decisions are bias to see only the positives and reject the possibility of negatives. That being said, finding a partner you are compatible with would be most likely by meeting while doing something you are both passionate about. I’m not single, but if I was, since fitness is important to me, I would join a gym (even though I have enough equipment in my home). If I enjoyed playing cards, there are groups that meet at churches weekly. If I enjoyed animals, I would get a dog and bring them to dog parks where many dog owners meet and socialize. Church is great but you need to participate in the social events, and small groups where there is more interaction. No matter what the venue, if you want to attract a mate, then be attractive. Learn how to flirt. Laugh at their jokes, make them feel more interesting than they are. Often we are not attracted as much to special people, as we are attracted to people who make us feel special. Remembering someone’s birthday, noticing slight changes in their appearance, and letting them talk about themselves, attentive to every word, smiling through their anecdotes and asking questions on stuff they just said (like you are really curious) are all good ways. Never forget, everybody loves a cheerleader! Men don’t want a strong woman, they want a woman who makes them feel strong. Learn how to be diplomatic, challenge without offending. I’m sure ego is a huge issue for all men also reentering the dating arena. They may be shy so if you are interested you may not want to wait for them to make the first move. Be blessed.

My big loving dog. I was sick for a week. Her way of comforting me. Any fella would have to meet her approval. 😏

 

[tourist]

I met my wife JesusLives here so might consider this site as a possible source to start an online relationship. I understand about your trepidation as it has been a few years since you have been on a date. Just relax and be yourself and you will be fine.

 

[Jewel5712]

Ive tried many online dating sites through the years..seemed the sites that were free were more "hook ups"..some of the christian ones were "judgemental" (go figure right?) but yes..society has changed even in the christian realm...gotta say 5 of my friends met and married people they met online. I dont take any profile at face value..too many scammers. I just saw the sites as INTRODUCTORY purposes..thats it..met some bad guys..good guys and a lot of "almosts"..but God can use any means to bring somone into your life. I grew up in a small town and know the dating struggles as well and most of the churches i went to had little or no singles group..as another user posted..get involved with things YOU like to do and you might meet someone that way. Im in the same boat with you sister..but get this..my ex and i met online..but he also cheated on me with another that he met online..go figure..anyway..be careful..use your smarts and youll do fine with whatever you choose..however..your dog? Well..he can be a little intimidating..lol. You have a lot to offer someone and it seems your healthy emotionally physically and spiritually (btw..i have never met a single man in church either ) Wish i could be more help..let us know what you decide and thanks for your candor!

 

[Jewel5712]

Hello everybody,

Ok here goes, I'm trusting in y'all now. 😀

Roughly 2 yrs ago I joined this group. Mainly looking for fellowship. It had been several years since my divorce and I was missing fellowship and conversation. I was a member of a very LARGE church and that was a bit overwhelming. And I just went into retirement. Anyway was considering dating at the time. After 15 yrs of marriage it to seemed overwhelming. I chose to travel instead. Mainly places that had limited internet.

I have revisited the idea of dating. Now that I don't have to work, and where I live is a small town. How on earth do you get out there. I have visited a few churches here. All pretty small and none have a singles group.
(Oh, I moved to be by my grandmother. She is getting up in age) new town for me.

Have any of you done the online dating? What where your experiences?

See I don't have alot of experience dating. I was engaged once. We met at the store. And my ex well I was set up with him on a date I knew nothing about by a family member, friend, and boss. I haven't been on a date since 1999. oh man I feel like a dinosaur 😬.

I am open to any suggestions and advice.

Please read my long post..i forgot to attach your post to my reply

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

Ive tried many online dating sites through the years..seemed the sites that were free were more "hook ups"..some of the christian ones were "judgemental" (go figure right?) but yes..society has changed even in the christian realm...gotta say 5 of my friends met and married people they met online. I dont take any profile at face value..too many scammers. I just saw the sites as INTRODUCTORY purposes..thats it..met some bad guys..good guys and a lot of "almosts"..but God can use any means to bring somone into your life. I grew up in a small town and know the dating struggles as well and most of the churches i went to had little or no singles group..as another user posted..get involved with things YOU like to do and you might meet someone that way. Im in the same boat with you sister..but get this..my ex and i met online..but he also cheated on me with another that he met online..go figure..anyway..be careful..use your smarts and youll do fine with whatever you choose..however..your dog? Well..he can be a little intimidating..lol. You have a lot to offer someone and it seems your healthy emotionally physically and spiritually (btw..i have never met a single man in church either ) Wish i could be more help..let us know what you decide and thanks for your candor!

Thank you! You were kind enough to share your experiences with me. That is always helpful. As far as my fur companion she is only a yr old. Not done growing. I don't think a good hearted fella has anything to worry about. She's a sweetheart. Now my male he is very protective of his females. When we went camping. We heard scream from down the way. He got in front of (his) females. My daughter included and wouldn't let them pass him till he determined the threat level. He's the fella with the inquisitive brow. My dogs bring me much joy and plenty of laughs.

Sorry you had a rough go of it. This world is changing, and I don't think for the better.

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

I have looked at a few of the dating sites today. All the question, well it makes me feel like I'm trying to sell myself. And going shopping at the same time.

I have fun in here. Y'all make me laugh, pull at my heart string, and just brighten my day. I may not find my future mate in here. But I'm making some wonderful friends. That's better than going shopping any day!!

 

[Jewel5712]

I have looked at a few of the dating sites today. All the question, well it makes me feel like I'm trying to sell myself. And going shopping at the same time.

I have fun in here. Y'all make me laugh, pull at my heart string, and just brighten my day. I may not find my future mate in here. But I'm making some wonderful friends. That's better than going shopping any day!!

Yup...im not much of a shopper either..well..more of a window shopper..the right mans gotta persue me..lol

 

[Lynx]

"My momma told me
You'd better shop around
Oh yeah you'd better shop around"

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

"My momma told me
You'd better shop around
Oh yeah you'd better shop around"

Nah ill just let him stumble into my lap😋. I don't like shopping around. I'm a in and out kinda gal. I know what I want, and go get it. 😏

 

[Faith-n-Christ]

Welp, I checked out 2 of the apps y'all was talking about in another thread. One "Hitch" I think it was called. Figured it would be a safe bet being it was suppose to go off friends of friends to my FB account. It went no where fast. And did not comply with my boundaries.

The Second one I tried was "POF" talk about being bombarded, with inappropriate, unsolicited, flirts and messages. I had to wait 24hrs to delete account. Again did not even come close to my listings.

Welp, won't do that again. But I made a new great friend that I talked on the phone with for 4 hrs last night. We was talking about our kids and the Lord. Probably could have talked all night. I needed that, was getting a bit discouraged. And yes we met through a FB Christian group. It is so edifying, when I find good fellowship. Especially when they're close to my age. That has been the discouragement. Seems my generation has strayed far from the Lord.

 

[Jewel5712]

Welp, I checked out 2 of the apps y'all was talking about in another thread. One "Hitch" I think it was called. Figured it would be a safe bet being it was suppose to go off friends of friends to my FB account. It went no where fast. And did not comply with my boundaries.

The Second one I tried was "POF" talk about being bombarded, with inappropriate, unsolicited, flirts and messages. I had to wait 24hrs to delete account. Again did not even come close to my listings.

Welp, won't do that again. But I made a new great friend that I talked on the phone with for 4 hrs last night. We was talking about our kids and the Lord. Probably could have talked all night. I needed that, was getting a bit discouraged. And yes we met through a FB Christian group. It is so edifying, when I find good fellowship. Especially when they're close to my age. That has been the discouragement. Seems my generation has strayed far from the Lord.

Yup..POF garbage..been there..done that many times..ever changes ;(