What do I do???!!!

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PeterJames

Senior Member
Feb 13, 2017
112
13
18
#61
Right. Watching porm opens a doorway for the demonic. They will come in and use your eyes to watch porn. they how people get addictions. The bible says narrow is the way and few find it.
I do agree that we open doors in our lives to demonic influence either through porn use or doing anything New Age or the Occult. We should refuse to believe the lies of the enemy, and believe the truth of Christ, turn away from our sins, and close the doors once and for all that we may have opened in our past. Or translated another way - we want Jesus Christ welcomed in our hearts and we want the devil to know he's not welcomed in our life.
 

Dan_473

Senior Member
Mar 11, 2014
9,054
1,051
113
#62
that's a tough situation.

I know the standard conservative answer would be Well just don't do it.

the thing is that the Bible talks about sexual immorality but doesn't ever really Define it.

if you have feelings of guilt the question would be are those feelings coming from internalised voices, like from your mother when you were growing up, saying that it's wrong?

in the end, the most important thing is to Be fully convinced in your own mind.
I think it's interesting that three people disagreed with this post, but I don't think anyone said really what they disagreed with.

Is it not a tough situation? She's married to a man who's not around very much?

That the Bible doesn't Define sexual immorality? some examples would be good.

That our mothers can make us feel guilty about things?

that it's not good to be fully convinced in your own mind?
 

OstrichSmiling

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2018
1,027
418
83
#63
I'm married and my husband works away from home weeks at a time. So lately I have been watching porn to satisfy my sexual desires. I know that it's wrong but it's so hard to give up.I feel at times that it's better to watch porn that physically cheat on him with someone else. I'm so ashamed to talk to anyone else about it. Has anyone else had a problem with watching porn?
But you are cheating. When you watch porn and satisfy yourself because your husband isn't there you're looking at the actors in that porn with the lust that allows you to act sexually with yourself.
Can you move to where your husband works? What is he doing while he's away weeks at a time?
I don't get how people are addicted to porn. But if you have a pastor maybe seek a meeting and talk with them about this. Or, there are porn addiction support groups you can find I'm sure. Google your city and use those keywords to find support.
God be with you.
 
Jul 6, 2018
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#64
Some salty answers for an honest lady asking for help!

Hun, we all get the urge. It’s a huge battle for some. But when you watch porn it does something to you. It takes away without giving back. It’s sex without love, and it may begin to numb your pleasure for your hubby.

The best thing may be, first to pray, but to pray for how God views this situation and how would it best glorify Him? Enjoying sexual experiences without your husband is a hollow ambition. It’s time to re-evaluate what porn is and what it does to people who watch it.

Does your husband know? Does he watch porn? If so, how does that make you feel that he gets sexual gratification looking at other naked women? If you’re husband doesn’t know, why haven’t you told him? How might he react if he knew?

You never know what kind of dark path you are walking down until it’s too late. Remember that you are never far from Gods reach! It’s good that you brought up the discussion. That means you are seeking change and don’t feel satisfied or there is some shame involved.

Oh, and forgive the salty replies.

I'm married and my husband works away from home weeks at a time. So lately I have been watching porn to satisfy my sexual desires. I know that it's wrong but it's so hard to give up.I feel at times that it's better to watch porn that physically cheat on him with someone else. I'm so ashamed to talk to anyone else about it. Has anyone else had a problem with watching porn?
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
70
48
#65
I'm married and my husband works away from home weeks at a time. So lately I have been watching porn to satisfy my sexual desires.
Are you saying you can't satisfy your sexual desire without looking at porn? please do research on "Porn Addiction"

I know that it's wrong but it's so hard to give up.
knowing that it is wrong is the Spirit working inside of you, called conviction.

I feel at times that it's better to watch porn that physically cheat on him with someone else.
If you look upon a person to lust after them, you have committed adultery already.

Mat_5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.


IF you are looking at porn and lusting from what you see, then it is adultery.

I'm so ashamed to talk to anyone else about it. Has anyone else had a problem with watching porn?
Porn is a very serious issue, that people don't normally address. It is a practiced sin that people get stuck in continually. People take thought, i can stop on my own, i will try harder to stop.
Scriptures teach confess your sins one to another. You need to tell someone that you are having these issues. If you don't tell your friends or family that you are having these issues, who then will pray for you. We at CC can pray for you, but lets be honest, i don't know you personally, i am praying for a name which is a username on CC. Even though i will pray for you, i don't know who you are. Tell member of your Church. You do attend Church correct?

The Lords Prayer says "Lead us not into temptation" Therefore those who draw close to God, He will draw close to them. If you are having issues with this or that sin, and you are not praying, you are not reading Bible daily, you are not in a Bible study, you are not giving to Charities, you are not helping the needy, you are not feeding the hungry, you are not going to Church, you are not helping others. Then God's hands are tied and will not be able to help you. Those who draw close to God are they that God will draw close to. Those who draw away from God, well His hands are tied from drawing close to them. First seek the Kingdom of God then all these things shall be added unto you.

i know someone who worked at Adams Mark Hotel. She told me that when the Promise Keepers convention are in town (Promise Keepers are for men only, and teach men how to be better husbands and the such) they have more porn rentals then any other time. But that is like Typical Christians of today. Going to a Christian event how to be better husbands and then renting porn because the wife isn't there with them that night. Porn is a serious issue that is extremely difficult to cease from ALONE.

Please internet look up "christian help porn addiction"

^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
70
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#66
No one will go to hell because they watch porn. Only unbelievers go to Hell.
It is not for you to judge if she is lost or saved. Only she and God know.
Yet Scriuptures reveals to us who will and who will not go to Heaven: consider:

Mat_7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Mat_18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Joh_3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.


Rev 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Eph 5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.


If you are any of those things above, you shall NOT inherit the Kingdom of God. And it does not matter what you claim with your mouths or what doctrines you hold on to. Scriptures are TRUE. NO adulterer shall inherit the Kingdom of God. That is what Scriptures teach. And if any married person looks upon another person to lust after them, have committed adultery. If they continue to lust after them, they are an adulterer.

One who lies is a liar.
One who commits adultery is an adulterer.
A Liar that repents and ceases to lie ever again, is forgiven and is no liar any more.
A liar that repents and continues to lie, is NOT forgiven and is still considered a Liar even though they repent each time.
Likewise all other sins as well.
Forgiveness is given to one who TRULY Repents, that is to say, they repent and cease to do the very thing they are repenting of.
Those who repent of a sin knowing full well they will continue to commit that sin, is NOT Truly sorry for that sin, else they would do whatever it took to stop that sin.

Heb_12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,


Woe unto them that DO NOT lay aside the sin that so easily besets them, but continues to live in them.

^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
70
48
#67
You are correct, but sin is sin is sin.
You stated that a person will go to Hell for watching porn, and that is not true.
A person go to Hell for unbelief.
There are many things Scriptures teaches that can put a person in Hell, not ONLY unbelief.

Know you not that it is written if you do not forgive people their trespasses, neither will YOU be forgiven yours?
It is also written if you hate your brother, you are not going to Heaven.

1Jn_2:9 He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.

1Jn_2:11 But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.

1Jn_3:15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

1Jn_4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?


So it does not matter if you claim with your mouth that you are Saved, that you are Righteous, that you are covered by His Blood, that you are under Grace. These verses are NOT negated, NOT voided out. Anyone who hates another is not of God. God is Love.

Jesus Christ COMMANDED us to "Love One Another" Woe to anyone who does not do that. Woe to them indeed.

So there are more way to end up in Hell than merely be an unbeliever. Read the Scriptures, study them.

^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
70
48
#68
here is a post from you pjh from another thread:



I hardly think you are in a place to judge the op is going to hell

church is designed to keep you in infancy? that's a lie of the devil right there if you want to discuss the inroads he has made into YOUR life :rolleyes:

i happen to agree with that statement. Not saying going to Church is bad, on the contrary. Most of those behind the pulpits do not teach things that would cause their congregation to up and leave the Church. Why would they bite the hand that feeds them. Most Churches teach Truths, but most of them are sugar coated, as to not offend anyone. Churches teach plenty of milk of the Word, but most Churches do not teach meat of the Word. You know like stop watching porn or else you won't get into Heaven, or teach against sinning. Most Churches do not teach about HELL and Brimstone. Please don't get me wrong. Churches are not bad or evil. i recommend people go to Church all the time. However i do believe Church is a good place to be fed milk, to worship Jesus, to praise Him. But if a person Truly wants Meat of the Word, they should go elsewhere. like Bible study groups, or Study the Bible your own self, or go on ChristianChat.com, Do Preachers in Church discuss EVERYTHING that is being discussed on CC? NO! Why? Because most Churches teach milk of the Word, not meat of the Word.

^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
70
48
#69
There is nothing in Scriptures that teaches that if a person sexually gratifies themselves they have committed a sin. It is usually the method that a person uses to sexually gratify themselves that is considered sinful. such as porn usage.
A person who sexually gratifies themselves on a regular basis will have need to have outside support to continue said behavior. For example a person who desires to masturbate daily, will need outside support in order to do so, such as looking at porn. Opposed to a person who masturbates once a month, needs no outside support.
So then determinedBeing7631 Do it less often, so that when you do need to sexual gratify yourself you can think of your husband in whatever way you desire to achieve desired goal. You only need the porn because you desire to do it more than you actually need to do it.

And if you are one of those who feel like you absolutely need to look at porn, then make some porn with your spouse, and when he/she is gone, look at those to do what you feel is needed. What is sinful is lusting after those who are NOT your spouse, nothing wrong with lusting after you spouse, even with pictures or videos.

^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#70
i happen to agree with that statement. Not saying going to Church is bad, on the contrary. Most of those behind the pulpits do not teach things that would cause their congregation to up and leave the Church. Why would they bite the hand that feeds them. Most Churches teach Truths, but most of them are sugar coated, as to not offend anyone. Churches teach plenty of milk of the Word, but most Churches do not teach meat of the Word. You know like stop watching porn or else you won't get into Heaven, or teach against sinning. Most Churches do not teach about HELL and Brimstone. Please don't get me wrong. Churches are not bad or evil. i recommend people go to Church all the time. However i do believe Church is a good place to be fed milk, to worship Jesus, to praise Him. But if a person Truly wants Meat of the Word, they should go elsewhere. like Bible study groups, or Study the Bible your own self, or go on ChristianChat.com, Do Preachers in Church discuss EVERYTHING that is being discussed on CC? NO! Why? Because most Churches teach milk of the Word, not meat of the Word.

^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave

church is a good place to fellowship with other Christians and prayerfully find some of like mind

then go from there
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#71
Never had a desire and neither has my wife.
What I do not understand is why a person will choose a job or career that keeps them away from home weeks or even days at a time. The only exception would be the military.
Don't tell me it is necessary, because I will never believe it. It is a choice, and a bad choice.
Any man that can leave his family for weeks at a time (except for the military) is a poor excuse of a man in my opinion.
Are you not aware that in some societies, due to a lack of opportunities, some persons have to go outside of where they live for work and education?

A man or woman who can leave their family and go far away, even to another country to earn a living for their family, is not a poor excuse of a person. As far as I'm concerned, that person is a hero.
 

Toyin

New member
Jul 7, 2018
5
0
1
#72
Our conscience is so accurate in letting us know whether we're in the right or not. Watch your conscience then. If you're condemned after doing something, then watch it, that might be a signal that something is wrong. I've been in your shoe before for a different reason. Porn can be addictive, and its to satisfy you temporarily for a genuine desire. Sexually, you're meant to derive pleasure from your partner, but those guys you watch in the porn aren't your partner you know! So that answers the question whether it's right or wrong.

Now coming to the question of how to stop it, you or anyone else need a helper, interestingly, the beauty of Christianity is in the fact that God promised to be our helper, unfortunately, majority of us don't have this revelation, so we struggle when confronted with issues that are contrary to God's expectations. My best scriptures is found in Heb.4:12-16, particularly, verse 15, where we're being reminded that Jesus too faced temptations like us with a single sin found in Him, and on that strength and compassionate heart of His, we can come BOLDLY to the throne of GRACE, to obtain MERCY, and GRACE to HELP in the time of NEED.

So, in this time of NEED of yours a helper in Jesus is waiting that you ask for that help. He'll surely give it. Determination to stop it won't work. Seeing this promise in the scriptures and going ahead to ask for it is all that matters. In conclusion, listen to the Holy Spirit on what to do each time the urge comes.

If your husband must work away from home, then enjoy each other enough prior to his departure and talk more on phone while he's out of town. Make it a point of duty that you share this need of this with him, and discuss kingdom issues on phone too, and conclude your calls with a word of prayer.

You'll share your victory testimony very soon.

I commend you to God and His word of grace which is able to BUILD you up, and give you your inheritance among them that are sanctified.
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
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#73
Jesus is The LIGHT, and we are 'commanded to walk in His Light -
it's each of our 'decision' to do what is right and Holy in His sight...
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,957
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#74
Isn't there a woman's forum for this? There was one before the upgrade..

There's a women only forum here that would be a better place for your question. I'm not saying you can't ask here, but it's probably more suited for the woman's forum. (Unless the women's forum didn't survive the site's recent upgrade, I can't tell because its only visible to female members)
Sadly, there is no Ladies Forum at present. Apparently the PTB, being men, and not being able to see it, forgot it needed to be moved! We have requested it be moved and set up again, and were basically told it was a low priority.

I guess we women could go into various forums and post embarassing posts about our bodies, periods, menopause, side effects of child birth, and maybe the men would start demanding the Ladies Forum be returned? Or even better, all about women and sex. Hmm! Well, if the Ladies Forum doesn't return soon, maybe we will need some volunteers?
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#75
I'm married and my husband works away from home weeks at a time. So lately I have been watching porn to satisfy my sexual desires. I know that it's wrong but it's so hard to give up.I feel at times that it's better to watch porn that physically cheat on him with someone else. I'm so ashamed to talk to anyone else about it. Has anyone else had a problem with watching porn?
I've watched it and had a problem back when I was about 19. I had issues and self esteem problems due to situations i didn't choose. People can put you down and make you feel horrible about yourself like many have already done, but I highly recommend just talking to your husband about it. He may come up with an alternative and maybe talk to you on the phone to add a little spice to your relationship. Trust me, it is amazing and things will definitely improve in that area😉
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#76
I feel at times that it's better to watch porn than physically cheat on him with someone else.
If that's your 2 choices, then I reckon you've chosen the correct alternative.. And I'm sure your husband would agree. :)
 

Toyin

New member
Jul 7, 2018
5
0
1
#77
If that's your 2 choices, then I reckon you've chosen the correct alternative.. And I'm sure your husband would agree. :)
Yes, the husband may at first not mind that because the persons she's cheating with is virtual, but later when she begins to feel she doesn't need him to get he'd satisfaction, then it will be his turn to cheat on her. However, that may not be virtual partner like she's doing now.

Moreover, if she's a christian, it's not only the agreement of the husband that makes for a fulfilling life but that of God as well.

A lot of us do what we please because we don't have a clue, how to find out what pleases the Lord.
 
Jul 7, 2018
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#78
I'm married and my husband works away from home weeks at a time. So lately I have been watching porn to satisfy my sexual desires. I know that it's wrong but it's so hard to give up.I feel at times that it's better to watch porn that physically cheat on him with someone else. I'm so ashamed to talk to anyone else about it. Has anyone else had a problem with watching porn?
First. Congratulate yourself for admitting it. It is a sin but to ignore it is a bigger one. I speak from experience. We are reeling from the abuse of a female sex addict in our life. You immediately tell your husband, ask him to be the Godly man you need him to be and you speak to someone to get help. I am so proud of you for speaking up. Feel free to let me know how it goes. If you choose to stay in sin I cannot offer any more advice.
 

Dan_473

Senior Member
Mar 11, 2014
9,054
1,051
113
#79
if the OP had said
reading romance novels
instead of
watching porn
would that change anyone's answers?

(rhetorical question, but answer if you like)
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
70
48
#80
if the OP had said
reading romance novels
instead of
watching porn
would that change anyone's answers?

(rhetorical question, but answer if you like)
PG rated romance novels = OK
R rated romance novels = Might be OK depends
X rated romance novels = equal to porn.


^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave