As An "Older" Single, What Advice Would You Give to Younger Singles?

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Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#101
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#101
wisebeardman said:
or turned them into me, where they just end up hating people in general and want nothing to do with people
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You must be one of those old geezers that sit on a park bench, eye balling everyone suspiciously.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#102
Jun 30, 2015
25,502
13,807
113
#102
The Beard is back at about the same time Shiney is back...

Has anyone met either of this person in person? :unsure:

j/k... nice to have you both back.
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#104
#104
This is from my own experience 😉 since i was a kid i pictured myself married already with 3 or 4 kids before the age of 30...but due to the weight on my shoulder It didn't happen when i was younger... i woke up one day alone and everyone around me is married :cautious: I am 40 and 10 years from now i will be 50.... I am still dreaming for a family a husband and 4 kids but science says to become a mother of 4 kids is quite impossible because of my age...the risk is very much higher than those moms in their 30's and 20's....and not only that I need to marry first before i plan to have 4 babies 😂


So my advice is don't be like me 😉Time waits no man it moves but don't get me wrong... don't do things because of pressure... It is ok to help your family but don't forget yourself...work and fall in love but be responsible who you choose...


I don't regret what happened into my life because I believe that everything has its time and i am waiting happily on the Lord 😊 God is never late HE is always on time ❤
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#106
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
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#106
Ok so as advice to a younger person I would say.... Just ask the person out already!

The person already knows in his/her mind if they are willing to go out with you or not. You are only prolonging your own self-torture of not-knowing by not asking..... And once you get to that point where you're comfortable with being their friend even though you wish it were more, they've probably already put you in their friendzone... and it's nearly impossible to go from the friendzone to the romance zone because they already think of you as a sister or brother....
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#108
Aug 13, 2014
27,459
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#108
Lynx said:
Yes, and Tommy is also very shy, very modest, very humble and very subtle...
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Jewel5712 said:
Ok pinochio! Lol
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I made a sarcastic comment about Tommy, and Jewel made a comment about my comment. So that is Jewel, Lynx and Tommy involved in the Pinocchio comment.
zeroturbulence said:
Me, pinnochio? I said that because all they are going to get out of a forum like this is people telling them to be patient and focus on God... and/or that God is preparing a special someone for them. That type of advice will just keep them alone, single and frustrated.
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Where did you get the idea she was calling you Pinocchio? She quoted my post when she made the comment, and my post was referring to Tommy. I think she was calling me a liar because I said all those (patently false) things about Tommy.
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#109
Jul 24, 2016
7,585
3,616
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#109
cinder said:
I think we should give you a chance to redeem yourself so let's rephrase the question: What advice would you give to single adults who are in the 38-48 age range (still younger than you, but not super young anymore)?
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I don't have to redeem myself..

But as to your question ... Well when i had reached that age 38 i no longer wanted to be a dad because i was too old.. So if i wanted to get married at that time i would probably look for a woman who did not want to have kids.. I would focus on her personality and then Her intelligence..

A woman 38 -48 i would concentrate on my personality and try ones best to be or seem educated.. If you still want to try and have kids i would look for a guy who was willing to take that risk with you.. Maybe investigate a fertility clinic option if after marriage you are still childless after 1 year..
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#110
Jul 24, 2016
7,585
3,616
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#110
Lynx said:
There's an old saying that goes something like, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

If you said "After women get older than 27, I think they are less attractive" that would have been incontrovertible. You would have been stating your opinion. I would disagree with your opinion, but it would still be your opinion.

The reason we have such a problem with your assertion, and object to it so strongly, is that you made it a blanket statement. You claim women are less attractive after they pass the 27 years of age mark.
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Firstly i did say in my posts that i was talking about the average woman and the average guy.. And the specific aspect of attractiveness i was talking about was fertility... Because the average guy who is looking to marry a woman wants to be a Dad... I also stressed that my 27 year old advice to young woman was an age where the woman can still be looked upon as still being in her prime firtile years and that still being at her height in firtility she would have the highest chance of attracting the best man she could attract in your life.. But again i am talking about the average woman and the average man..

So my advice for young woman came from the knowledge of what the average guy wants when he marries.. To become a dad.. And because that is high on the average mans priority list then the fertility of any candidate wife is incredibly important to the average man who desires to be a dad..

The reason your claim is hogwash is because you have no idea what anybody else finds attractive unless they have given you a list - and I certainly haven't given you a list of what I find attractive, and I have no reason to. But I will tell you this: The things I find attractive don't lessen after the age of 27.
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Again i was always talking about what the average man wants in relation to the qualities he desires in a wife.. I never talked in absolute terms.. I did say that woman's attractiveness in regards to fertility does drop after the age of 27 and that is a reasoned observation.. Or is someone willing to oppose this and tell me that a woman at 37 or 47 is more fertile then when she was 27 ?

So let's recap: I'm not saying your opinion is wrong. I'm saying you are wrong to state your opinion as a global constant. You are speaking your opinion as a truth that applies to all men when they gauge a woman's attractiveness, which is pure baloney.
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No... I was specifically talking about one aspect of attractiveness ""fertility"" and was talking about ""men who wanted to be dads"".. And i was talking about ""averages"" not absolutes.. And i was talking about when the average woman has her highest chance of attracting the best man she can personally attract for marriage.. I never said a woman cannot attract a man after she passes 27 years of age.. I never said a woman cannot get pregnant after 27 years of age..
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#111
Jul 24, 2016
7,585
3,616
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#111
Tommy379 said:
No way. We should destroy him on social media like everyone else does these days.
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LOL Lucky i do not have any facebook or twitter or any other type of social media accounts to destroy :)
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#112
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#112
Adstar said:
Firstly i did say in my posts that i was talking about the average woman and the average guy.. And the specific aspect of attractiveness i was talking about was fertility... Because the average guy who is looking to marry a woman wants to be a Dad... I also stressed that my 27 year old advice to young woman was an age where the woman can still be looked upon as still being in her prime firtile years and that still being at her height in firtility she would have the highest chance of attracting the best man she could attract in your life.. But again i am talking about the average woman and the average man..

So my advice for young woman came from the knowledge of what the average guy wants when he marries.. To become a dad.. And because that is high on the average mans priority list then the fertility of any candidate wife is incredibly important to the average man who desires to be a dad..



Again i was always talking about what the average man wants in relation to the qualities he desires in a wife.. I never talked in absolute terms.. I did say that woman's attractiveness in regards to fertility does drop after the age of 27 and that is a reasoned observation.. Or is someone willing to oppose this and tell me that a woman at 37 or 47 is more fertile then when she was 27 ?



No... I was specifically talking about one aspect of attractiveness ""fertility"" and was talking about ""men who wanted to be dads"".. And i was talking about ""averages"" not absolutes.. And i was talking about when the average woman has her highest chance of attracting the best man she can personally attract for marriage.. I never said a woman cannot attract a man after she passes 27 years of age.. I never said a woman cannot get pregnant after 27 years of age..
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Got any stats to back up for the “average man” and “average woman” claims?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#113
Aug 13, 2014
27,459
9,431
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#113
Adstar: Now you make the assumption that the "average" man wants to reproduce. More than half the men I know claim they DO NOT want children. Are the men in my area not average, or are you using a different meaning for average?

Are we looking at mean average, median average, mode average or range average here?
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#114
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#114
zeroturbulence said:
Me, pinnochio? I said that because all they are going to get out of a forum like this is people telling them to be patient and focus on God... and/or that God is preparing a special someone for them. That type of advice will just keep them alone, single and frustrated.
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Ok..ill give you a thumbs up for effort zero..lol
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#115
Jul 24, 2016
7,585
3,616
113
#115
Mel85 said:
Got any stats to back up for the “average man” and “average woman” claims?
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No...

I base my thoughts on lodgic of knowing what most men want out of marriage.. And i know that an average woman's height of fertility is in her 20's.. This should be general knowledge to all people.. But it seems that a lot of woman have been sold a lie that they will have no problems getting pregnant when they hit 40..

from :
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https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/age-and-fertility

Women’s age and fertility
A woman is born with all the eggs she is going to have in her lifetime. Her eggs age with her, decreasing in quality and quantity. This is why age is the single most important factor affecting a woman’s fertility. While good health improves the chance of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby, it does not override the effects of age on a woman’s fertility.

In her early to mid-20s, a woman has a 25 to 30 per cent chance of getting pregnant every month. Female fertility generally starts to decline when a woman is in her early 30s, and the decline speeds up after the age of 35. By age 40, the chance of getting pregnant in any monthly cycle is down to around five per cent.
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Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#116
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#116
Lynx said:
I made a sarcastic comment about Tommy, and Jewel made a comment about my comment. So that is Jewel, Lynx and Tommy involved in the Pinocchio comment.

Where did you get the idea she was calling you Pinocchio? She quoted my post when she made the comment, and my post was referring to Tommy. I think she was calling me a liar because I said all those (patently false) things about Tommy.
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Yes..my comment was for lynx..the pinochio..lol. Regarding tommy..sorry for the confusion zero..
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#117
Jul 24, 2016
7,585
3,616
113
#117
Lynx said:
Adstar: Now you make the assumption that the "average" man wants to reproduce. More than half the men I know claim they DO NOT want children. Are the men in my area not average, or are you using a different meaning for average?

Are we looking at mean average, median average, mode average or range average here?
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Note i said the average man who is looking for a wife.. There are these days a number of men who don't want kids and many of the same men do not want to get married.. Ever heard of mens groups like mgtow?

So i am talking only about the average within the population of men who want to get married..
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#118
Aug 13, 2014
27,459
9,431
113
#118
Adstar said:
No...

I base my thoughts on lodgic of knowing what most men want out of marriage.. And i know that an average woman's height of fertility is in her 20's.. This should be general knowledge to all people.. But it seems that a lot of woman have been sold a lie that they will have no problems getting pregnant when they hit 40..
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No no no no no, I'm not objecting to the female fertility statistics. I'm objecting to your assumption that you know what most men want out of a marriage. You're arguing about the wrong objection.

How do you know what the average man wants out of a marriage? Did you take a poll? The "average" man I have talked to seems to NOT want kids.
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#119
Jul 24, 2016
7,585
3,616
113
#119
Lynx said:
No no no no no, I'm not objecting to the female fertility statistics. I'm objecting to your assumption that you know what most men want out of a marriage. You're arguing about the wrong objection.

How do you know what the average man wants out of a marriage? Did you take a poll? The "average" man I have talked to seems to NOT want kids.
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Well on a world wide scale i am confident that most men when they think about the reasons they want to get married the majority have becoming a dad high on their lists of reasons to get married.. I think you must live in a community that is not average Lynx..
 
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