J
jeaniebeanie
Guest
Dear Christians, I am writing again because I am afraid that I am going to hell. I must begin from the beginning. In 2001 I suffered an unexpected heart attack at the age of 39. I was a schoolteacher at the time. I had NO risk factors. My cholesterol was low, my blood pressure is always low , I worked out everyday for an hour and my weight was 128 lbs.(I an 5'7''). One of my arteries was 90% occluded. The doctors placed a stent in my left anterior descending artery and I went home in two days. When I returned home was when the trouble began. I got down on my knees to pray and in an internal voice(I do not hear voices and I am not schizophrenic) the Lord informed me that I had NO SOUL and that I was not covered in the blood of Jesus. When I asked why I got no answer. I pray and pray and I feel totally disconnected from God.I have been to Christian psychiatrists, Christian Counselors , taken meds and nothing works. I have not had a life in almost ten years. I stopped working as a teacher in 2003 because I could not take it anymore and also my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. He passed away on November 9th, 2006 and that just made evrything worse. I loved teaching and I miss it so. Then in 2005 started having problems with my voice . Every doctor I went to said it was anxiety. I finally found a specialist and I was diagnosed with Spasmodic Dysphonia. This affliction affects the larynx and you cannot speak clearly. The only cure are Botox Injections through the neck but they did not work.I feel that my life is over. PLease ask God to give me a normal life. All the doctors I have seen say that I am severely depressed but nothing works. I do not want to DIE like this. I want to have a full life.I am very scared!!!!! jeaniebeanie