So Just What IS Loneliness, Anyway? (Loneliness Defined.)

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Loneliness... What Is It and When Do You Feel It?

  • I feel lonely when I'm by myself.

    Votes: 7 35.0%
  • I don't feel lonely when I'm by myself.

    Votes: 6 30.0%
  • I feel lonely when I am around other people.

    Votes: 7 35.0%
  • I don't feel lonely when I am around other people.

    Votes: 1 5.0%
  • I feel lonely all the time, with or without people. (What would change that?)

    Votes: 4 20.0%
  • I don't feel lonely very often. (What's your secret?)

    Votes: 3 15.0%
  • Loneliness is a situation (such as, being around people vs. being alone.)

    Votes: 2 10.0%
  • Loneliness is a state of mind (feeling lonely no matter what your situation.)

    Votes: 7 35.0%
  • Loneliness is something I can change.

    Votes: 5 25.0%
  • Loneliness is something I have no control over--it's just there, or it isn't.

    Votes: 4 20.0%

  • Total voters
    20
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
Loneliness is when no one wants you on their team and you are always the last one to get picked.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
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I wrote like a whole book on this but decided that it was wayyy too long, and that it had wayyy too much of my feelings in it. Like nah I'm good I'd rather not bore you guys while simultaneously letting you know like how i feel and stuff that's totally not me lol. Plus i get my emotions mixed up all the time so although it was true, i probably will figure out something i didn't know and it would change how i looked at my feelings and blah blah blah. So ye not gonna say stuff on this topic ig.....except that Christ and his promises help along with whatever purpose he's given me. Ik you said to exclude the God thing buttttt i can't cuz that's one of the main things that help me with literally everything.
 
T

theanointedsinner

Guest
my definition of loneliness: when you are comparing your existing (or non-existing) human interaction with another experience of human interaction you used to have, or an underlying jealousy for how great the other person's experience of human interaction might be

it's all about comparison, or feeling how your existence is insignificant, and it does sometimes relate to "meaning", etc.

the next question, since it's a comparison, what is loneliness, what is not loneliness, and what's the difference, and how do we find the comparison, :unsure:
@LightBright I see that you can be an expert on the subject, what do you think about what I wrote here about loneliness and comparison?
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
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Also loneliness might always be with us in this life, I tend to just kind of tell it to shut up and move on. As far as i can tell no matter the circumstances people get lonely so maybe it can't be helped, maybe it's something that comes around to make us less useful, either way it gets in the way of what i want to be and what i want to do so I'll force it to go away if i need to. Not only that but maybe i should focus on trying to help others instead of thinking about what i want ,like i usually do. I just want to make sure that no one I love ever feels alone because I'll do my best to make sure they aren't, and that includes God he has feelings too. Not that I'll ever succeed at that, i probably never will ,but i can try.
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
Also loneliness might always be with us in this life, I tend to just kind of tell it to shut up and move on. As far as i can tell no matter the circumstances people get lonely so maybe it can't be helped, maybe it's something that comes around to make us less useful, either way it gets in the way of what i want to be and what i want to do so I'll force it to go away if i need to. Not only that but maybe i should focus on trying to help others instead of thinking about what i want ,like i usually do. I just want to make sure that no one I love ever feels alone because I'll do my best to make sure they aren't, and that includes God he has feelings too. Not that I'll ever succeed at that, i probably never will ,but i can try.
tell it to shut up <-- that works? seriously?

we can try that against sin, and even the bible said "might" as in "maybe"

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. (Psalms 119:11)
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
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@LightBright I see that you can be an expert on the subject, what do you think about what I wrote here about loneliness and comparison?
Well first off, I'm not an expert I'm not that dope honestly. With that being said i think you have a point people are a lot more lonely since we have " power couples" all over the gram lol. I also think it just comes from us not really being a body like we're supposed to. The last part actually makes sense cuz maybe when i think I'm lonely I'm just sad or whatever, the definition of loneliness and what it isn't is definitely important but i don't really know, maybe it's subjective. I do think that not having people around you is A SOURCE of loneliness even the bible shows people feeling alone at times. For me idk if i feel lonely a lot or if i just want a wife, i think there's a difference: ones more of a feeling of not having fellowship of some sort, the lack of companionship; while the other is more of a desire for a partner, its a lot more specific and it's more of something i want. Sooooo IDK if i got a wife i wouldn't stop being lonely I'd just stop having a desire for a spouse.....cuz i have one. Maybe the big thing is physical too, maybe we don't just feel lonely because there aren't people for us, but because we just dont have enough physical interaction with other people. It would make sense because we spend so much time online and on our phones like right now. I'm totally off topic buttt oh well sorry lol.
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
Well first off, I'm not an expert I'm not that dope honestly. With that being said i think you have a point people are a lot more lonely since we have " power couples" all over the gram lol. I also think it just comes from us not really being a body like we're supposed to. The last part actually makes sense cuz maybe when i think I'm lonely I'm just sad or whatever, the definition of loneliness and what it isn't is definitely important but i don't really know, maybe it's subjective. I do think that not having people around you is A SOURCE of loneliness even the bible shows people feeling alone at times. For me idk if i feel lonely a lot or if i just want a wife, i think there's a difference: ones more of a feeling of not having fellowship of some sort, the lack of companionship; while the other is more of a desire for a partner, its a lot more specific and it's more of something i want. Sooooo IDK if i got a wife i wouldn't stop being lonely I'd just stop having a desire for a spouse.....cuz i have one. Maybe the big thing is physical too, maybe we don't just feel lonely because there aren't people for us, but because we just dont have enough physical interaction with other people. It would make sense because we spend so much time online and on our phones like right now. I'm totally off topic buttt oh well sorry lol.
I'm thinking
let M = male
let F = female

If we imagine a venn diagram of M's capacity for loneliness, and the F's capacity for loneliness, the problem is, the overlap for both circles can still exist if you can imagine, which means that even if you find someone, it doesn't guarantee that the problem will be solved. Things can fill, but fill imperfectly, God is perfect, omniscient and is able to "cater" toward your spiritual needs perfectly if that's his will.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
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24
tell it to shut up <-- that works? seriously?

we can try that against sin, and even the bible said "might" as in "maybe"

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. (Psalms 119:11)
I don't know if that's how might is used there but assuming it is i don't think my willpower alone can get me past loneliness, but that on top of God's word and his promises helps. I do tend to perspnify things in my mind, so at times i will literally do things like telling my emotions to shut up. What I'm saying is i move on, i can't avoid loneliness unless i rely on Christ completely and love Him perfectly and i never will, so instead how about i just stop thinking about being lonely? If i start going in that direction i move away and look at what Christ did for me and what he wants me to do, then i pursue those things. I'm not saying i don't get lonely, I'm saying when i do start to get lonely i walk away. It's almost like lust it's something that, at times, wants to consume you and won't leave ypu alone until you succumb. And what can i do to take away the desire for sex? Nothing. I can't sometimes those feelings are going to come up but i don't have to entertain them. Sometimes loneliness creeps in but i don't have to allow it to affect me, i don't have to entertain it I'll walk away or maybe even run away. I'll have to do whatever it takes to stay free from it because if i let it control me I'll end up face down in a corner complaining. That's not what i want to be, some guy that can't even help himself, let alone help others. I have a God who cares and will never leave so loneliness is a lie, and i tell liars to shut up.
 
J

Jennie-Mae

Guest
Loneliness can be whenever you are amongst people who don’t know your language properly. You have things you want to share, but they don’t understand you, and whenever they wanna share something with you, it’s the other way around. You don’t understand them.

You then realize you’re not one of them and will probably never be.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
my definition of loneliness: when you are comparing your existing (or non-existing) human interaction with another experience of human interaction you used to have, or an underlying jealousy for how great the other person's experience of human interaction might be

it's all about comparison, or feeling how your existence is insignificant, and it does sometimes relate to "meaning", etc.

the next question, since it's a comparison, what is loneliness, what is not loneliness, and what's the difference, and how do we find the comparison, :unsure:
So is loneliness relative, or do we just think it is relative? If a person has only ever known one level of loneliness, does that make that level easier or harder to bear than if the person has known many levels?

And more important, do people think their loneliness is unbearable only because they don't know worse loneliness? Maybe it would be beneficial for every human to be in an isolation chamber for one month at the age of 14, so we will all then have a baseline for "severe loneliness" and we can all stop thinking our loneliness is something so extreme that nobody else can know how we are suffering.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
Standing on the edge is not the same
And those who watch can never win the game
Are you on the outside?
Come on in

 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
Standing on the edge is not the same
And those who watch can never win the game
Are you on the outside?
Come on in

Eh.

I'll try next door.
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
please define meaningful interaction
 
M

Mielkefive

Guest
I feel lonely when no one pays attention to me or when someone is giving me a hard time