If you’re planning to go on a date with someone special, who should pay for it?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Who should pay for the date?

  • The woman should pay.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    59

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
If I ask a girl out, I pay for everything.

If that's too complicated for her... then we shouldn't be dating.

...
 

Davenport

Active member
Oct 22, 2018
155
46
28
Whenever a gentleman invites a lady to a date, the lady will be flattered if she likes him. Whenever he’s paying, opening the doors, pulling out her chair, she’ll feel safe and protected and cared for. And you know what? That feels so good. Try that the next time you’re interacting with a lady😊.
Holding the door is one thing. But, for a guy to pay for more than half the cost of dates makes him a sucker in 2018.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,176
113
When I listen to an opinionated person, who backs up their points with an arsenal of insults, I usually stop looking at the validity of their views. It is at that point the quality of one's integrity and character come into question. Most would call this a form of discernment.

The integrity of the content becomes skewed, when the character and delivery of the one holding the opinions are compromised.

Just saying...
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
so @Davenport , when you ask a woman out on a date, do you tell her upfront she's paying for herself?

i'm just curious.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,414
9,401
113
no one pays, here in Texas there's a few places that have special platters that if you finish the whole thing you get it free. Comes with all the fixins too.. Two hungry people can make easy work of something like that, team effort and all.
View attachment 189640
That is free if you eat it all? I could eat all that easily. What's the catch?
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
13,864
4,029
113
Is Chivalry dead?
Have we failed to pass down the ethos of chivalry from generation to generation?
Chivalrous ethos have been on the decline arguably for generations. Have we lost this ground on the homefront, in schools, church?
Or has the modernization and evolution of societal norms been ever so transitioning to the point that we find Chivalry hanging by a thread - on an ever so vulnerable life-support system?
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
Holding the door is one thing. But, for a guy to pay for more than half the cost of dates makes him a sucker in 2018.
No matter what year we are in
Holding the door is one thing. But, for a guy to pay for more than half the cost of dates makes him a sucker in 2018.
Treating a Lady like a lady shows her that you are a man and a gentleman...
 
Oct 25, 2018
64
15
8
I'm a Millennial, so I don't date. That said, when I have dated, it seems to be that the number 1 indicator that a girl isn't truly interested in you is if she offers to pay.

It's strange, because women need to do their part in a relationship and pay every now and then. And yet when they ask of the 1st date ... it just seems like it's their way of letting you down "nicely", even if they were the one to ask for the date!
 

Davenport

Active member
Oct 22, 2018
155
46
28
so @Davenport , when you ask a woman out on a date, do you tell her upfront she's paying for herself?
The person who asks the other out has an obligation to pay. If the woman asks the man out, she should pay. When the two of them are going out regularly, they should take turns, or split the bills.

If the woman doesn't ever offer to pay, she's a moocher who should be kicked to the curb. And, a man who thinks it's his duty to always pay is a fool, who will finish last.
 
Oct 25, 2018
64
15
8
The person who asks the other out has an obligation to pay. If the woman asks the man out, she should pay. When the two of them are going out regularly, they should take turns, or split the bills.

If the woman doesn't ever offer to pay, she's a moocher who should be kicked to the curb. And, a man who thinks it's his duty to always pay is a fool, who will finish last.
The woman should pay when asking a man out. However, because so many women tend to offer to pay to show their disinterest in a guy ... it's probably not the best for women to do so.

I refuse in Biblical principle to ever ask women out; I believe the Bible clearly shows that women are supposed to ask me. And yet, even on the dates in which women have asked me out ... I've always had the burden of paying, whether a 2nd date came from it or not.
 

Davenport

Active member
Oct 22, 2018
155
46
28
Have you MET Millennial women???
The original post in this thread is a sample of issues I have dating Christian millennial women. American women, in general, are probably among the most obnoxious in the world. What kind of crazy world do we live in when women march down the street wearing hats designed to look like their genitalia, apparently with the blessing of a small majority of women?

Just look at the hysterical replies to my post. Nothing lady-like in a number of them. If a woman posted opinions something like I posted, men wouldn't respond in such a nasty way.
 

Davenport

Active member
Oct 22, 2018
155
46
28
I refuse in Biblical principle to ever ask women out; I believe the Bible clearly shows that women are supposed to ask me. And yet, even on the dates in which women have asked me out ... I've always had the burden of paying, whether a 2nd date came from it or not.
I don't know where you get biblically that men aren't suppose to ask women out. I also don't get how you end up paying if a woman asks you out, at least if she has any interest in a second date. Maybe you create the impression that you're volunteering to pay? If she asks you out, always speak to her in terms that it's her taking you out. Say "Thank you for treating me" instead of whatever you're saying.

Do you realize that many Christian girls think they should wait for the man to ask them out?
 
Oct 25, 2018
64
15
8
The original post in this thread is a sample of issues I have dating Christian millennial women. American women, in general, are probably among the most obnoxious in the world. What kind of crazy world do we live in when women march down the street wearing hats designed to look like their genitalia, apparently with the blessing of a small majority of women?

Just look at the hysterical replies to my post. Nothing lady-like in a number of them. If a woman posted opinions something like I posted, men wouldn't respond in such a nasty way.
I'm still at work, so I've only managed to skim. But I wholeheartedly agree. It is impossible to find a Proverbs 31 woman, yet the "church" tries to pretend that they are abundant and just ripe for the picking as they shame single Christian men to Hell for committing the "sin" of celibacy ...

Many "Christian leaders" need to open the Book of Solomon ...
 
Oct 25, 2018
64
15
8
I don't know where you get biblically that men aren't suppose to ask women out. I also don't get how you end up paying if a woman asks you out, at least if she has any interest in a second date. Maybe you create the impression that you're volunteering to pay? If she asks you out, always speak to her in terms that it's her taking you out. Say "Thank you for treating me" instead of whatever you're saying.

Do you realize that many Christian girls think they should wait for the man to ask them out?
Observation. I have some homework for you. What is your favorite James Bond movie? Which ever it is, watch it as soon as you can. WHOM makes the first move, Bond or the Bond girl? I think you'll be shocked to realized that in all of the ACTUAL Bond movies (screw you, Daniel Craig), the bond girl is the first to make a move. Every time.

The concept of a man "pursuing" is quite recent. In fact, we all of the image in our minds of a bombshell locking eyes across the room, smiling, and imploring you to "approach". Because women are in constant competition with other women, they want to "feel" like they have "won" a man away from all of the other women. Millennial women are repulsed by pursuing men, because a man who pursues instantly removes the woman's desire to work for his affections. Now? Women huddle with their friends, they swipe left or right, and don't dare smile at a guy, let alone look at them. And then they wonder why we don't "approach". They bought into the feminist LIE that "hard-to-get" works. No self-respecting man would "pursue" such a woman.

We men are different; we hate pursuing. We understand that love is to be given freely and that it isn't some "transaction". We also enjoy equal effort. This is why we almost always feel guilty after rejecting a woman; because opportunities for us are slim to none compared to women, and we miss the attention.

The more a man focuses on his life's purpose, the more women become interested in him. The more he focuses on her, the less interested she is in him.

Ruth pursued Boaz.
Rebekah had to convince Isaac.
Potipher's Wife tried to rape Joseph.
Bathsehba seduced David.
Rachael presented herself to Jacob.
Abigail presented herself to David.
Eve was given to Adam.

There are countless upon countless examples in the Bible of women pursuing men ... and I've yet to find a single example of men pursuing women.

Men just are not nearly as sexual as women are either, so it makes little logical sense for men to be pursuing what women absolutely crave more than we do anyways.

I understand that many Christian women have been BRAINWASHED by church "leader" in waiting for men to ask them out. They do so at their own peril, mainly because Millennial men are often way to busy to even consider a woman who doesn't show her interest as potential. We just are not designed to go through life trying to convince women to like us; either she is interested from the get-go, or nothing develops. And if she is interested, she needs to SAY IT.
 
Oct 25, 2018
64
15
8
I look forward to you sharing the Scriptures about this.

Thank you in advance!
I still want Scripture that tells men that their role is to pursue.

"He who finds a wife finds favor with the Lord" is ALWAYS the answer.

But does to find absolutely mean TO SEEK??? Of course not. Women initiate, men respond.

To pursue means to follow. If a man is to be the leader of the home, then why would he follow a woman?

And if Eve is to be Adam's helper, why would a leader follow his helper???
 

Davenport

Active member
Oct 22, 2018
155
46
28
The concept of a man "pursuing" is quite recent. In fact, we all of the image in our minds of a bombshell locking eyes across the room, smiling, and imploring you to "approach". Because women are in constant competition with other women, they want to "feel" like they have "won" a man away from all of the other women. Millennial women are repulsed by pursuing men, because a man who pursues instantly removes the woman's desire to work for his affections.
I agree that women are repulsed by perusing men. Women want strong men, but pursuit is weakness. If you pursue a woman, you devalue yourself in her eyes. And, if the woman doesn't find you attractive, pursuing her and then asking her out is not going to end well.

I don't think asking a woman out equals pursuit, at least not in a significant way. Let her she pursue you, and then you seal the deal.