Don't eat yellow snow - life lessons and other things.

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Sonflower

Senior Member
Jan 30, 2016
850
147
43
#1
So, how about we share our life lessons with each other. This is supposed to be sort of a fun listing of life lessons. Things that are funny but true. HOPEfully, we can think of some funny ones.

Life lesson #1:

1. Don't post personal ads in singles: CC is NOT a dating site. ;)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#2
2. Don't whiz on the electric fence.

(Thank you, Ren and Stimpy... and to anyone who is old enough to understand this reference.)
 
J

Jennie-Mae

Guest
#3
3. Don’t stick your tongue to a cold, metal flag pole.

Just don’t😜.
 

Sonflower

Senior Member
Jan 30, 2016
850
147
43
#4
4. Never try to open your eyes while sneezing. It's impossible and a colossal waste of time.
 

Sonflower

Senior Member
Jan 30, 2016
850
147
43
#5
5. Never stand on a toilet while wearing flats or sandals. You are likely to drop a shoe in it. This actually happened to me in middle school. Don't ask.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#6
5. Never stand on a toilet. You are likely to drop a shoe in it. This actually happened to me in middle school. Don't ask.
As long as it was somebody ELSE'S shoe, I'm thinking you're home free.

Unless... It was the teacher's. :oops:
 

Sonflower

Senior Member
Jan 30, 2016
850
147
43
#8
As long as it was somebody ELSE'S shoe, I'm thinking you're home free.

Unless... It was the teacher's. :oops:
If you look at the edit I made to the original you quickly deduce it was my own shoe.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#9
If you look at the edit I made to the original you quickly deduce it was my own shoe.
7. Never throw your shoes at Sonflower.

She just might drop them in the toilet.

(Purely by accident, I'm fairly sure...)
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#11
8. Don't get a cat if you want to keep your furniture in tact, and pillows, and clothes...and pretty much just anything around the house. The car is safe...unless you have an outdoor cat. o_O

 

Sonflower

Senior Member
Jan 30, 2016
850
147
43
#12
Life lesson #234 (we should just pick random numbers cause there is no way we were gonna keep it in order when 2 ppl post at the same time)

So life lesson #234

If you find yourself in the bathroom of the opposite sex, by accident, don't barricade yourself in a stall mustering up the courage to leave as countless people walk in and out. Just walk out like you belong there and move on. This also happened to me....in middle school.

Bathrooms were hard.
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#13
Never look at articles marked gruesome sports injury when you’re eating?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#14
#482. When designing a setting for a public restroom, never put the doors for both the Women's Room and the Men's Room in adjacent corners right next to each other. (They actually did this at my place of employment.)

#637. Ladies, when a man holds a door open for you, make sure you know where that door leads--it might cause you to walk into a place you;d never want to go, and cause you to see things you'd definitely never want to see.

I can't tell you how many times at work that a polite, well-meaning gentleman has noticed a woman walking behind him, and then graciously tries to hold the door open for her... Except that it's the door to the MEN'S bathroom, and not the Women's. :cautious:
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
24
#15
Life lesson #987 Look before you leap. I was being an idiot (as usual) and decided i was gonna jump off the top bunk without looking at the floor first cuz what's the fun in that right? I fell on a weight conveniently put right in front of the bed.
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#16
Holding the door to men’s room open might be fun to try once I’ve turned in my two week’s notice.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#17
Holding the door to men’s room open might be fun to try once I’ve turned in my two week’s notice.
#872. Never just walk through a door that Hamarr is holding open for you, no matter how polite he seems. :D
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
24
#18
Life lesson #763 Don't turn on the light while someone's on the top bunk, you probably have a ceiling fan and it won't end well for whoever's up there....
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#19
Life lesson #763 Don't turn on the light while someone's on the top bunk, you probably have a ceiling fan and it won't end well for whoever's up there....
Why does this remind me of Life Lesson #1,287: Never agree to go for a ride in a helicopter... that has an "Eject" button.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#20
#1123
if somebody says something that could be taken as rude, assume he is not being rude. if your assumption is correct, it's all good because he is not being rude. If your assumption is incorrect you probably don't want to call him out on being rude because jerks thrives on arguments like that.