This is the most terrifying verse in the bible to me. As someone who called myself Christian for years, I repeated the prayer, was even dunked under water for good measure, yet I did not know Him. I would have thought this very thing if I would have died in the motorcycle wreak that took the use of my arm. I also do not think it was by chance either, God showed me the difference, my spirit was still dead then, I had not been born again yet, born of the Spirit, reconciled by His grace through His Son, Jesus our Christ the ONLY way and name by which man can be saved. He showed me this so I could testify of His glory more effectively and I praise His name for every bit of it.
LOL, quite often I have brothers and sister come up to me and pray that God heal my arm, and I love them so much and know what's in their hearts for me, but I have to tell them that I love you and understand what you're saying to me, but have to tell you that He already did heal me. The loss of my arm truly broke me, in the flesh I couldn't handle it, deep inside I hated it so bad I just wanted to die. I was defeated 100%, for 2 solid years, and the main thing that got me was I was powerless and without any hope of ever having the problem fixed. It just wasn't possible. That's what broke me, "I", could do NOTHING to make it better.
Like I said I already thought I'd been a Christian for years, I thought I knew what that was, and God wasn't helping me either to be honest. I have shared this many time's, but think it truly makes an important point, but when I finally hit my knees, if I had ever truly believed before, I didn't then, I did not hit my knees and say "God I need you now", no I already thought I knew what that was and it didn't help. When I hit my knees it was in utter defeat and it was crying from my soul "I can't do this anymore", "world you win, I tried, and I quit". The next day it wasn't until lunch when the atom bomb went off in my head, "I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING MYSELF ALL DAY!!!!!". You have to understand this is after 2 solid years of suicidal thoughts every 5 minutes that I couldn't control. I was broken to the core and everyone around me could see it, and were just as powerless to help me. But that was the day I was reborn spiritually and reconciled to our Creator, that was the day He healed me, the day He granted me repentance and put the old man to death. From that day till today this arm no longer "hurts me" in my heart, to be honest I don't ever really think about it. I tell those who pray for God to heal it, that He already has. My true prayer on the matter is "God if you want to heal this arm in front of a stadium of people on live TV, with before and after doctor examines to verify everything for the world, then Your will be done and praise Jesus mighty name to the miracle biz-ank. But honestly Lord, I see how it's a so much more powerful testament of your power just how it is now. I think I can honestly better share His power and glory with others how I am now, And I thank you Lord for everything you've blessed me with. Amen." Or something along those lines. 8^)
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