I think we're not having the same discussion. I'm objecting to the attitude conveyed (perhaps unintentionally) that it's mainly women's fault that society is going downhill because they expect someone else to take care of and foot the bill for them. The question of whether women want to be cared for and their politics isn't really the most relevant question here. That's a question that sounds like it's looking for someone to blame for what is happening. I'm much more interested in the discussion about what individual people can do to restore general trust and caring in our communities. Because it's just possible that part of the reason so many people are single is because all they've seen is bad marriages and divorces and the resulting destruction. So maybe the solution isn't to blame people for being single and needy, but to show them enough examples of good marriages that they believe they can get out there and find something worth having. In the same way, many of our social programs are the result of things that were already wrong and while it may be a case of two wrongs don't make a right, it's foolish to spend all our time and energy focusing on what is wrong rather than trying to find the way to make things right.
One of the things I admire about Cinder is that she has traveled, volunteered, and lived independently in many different places and even countries. She hasn't asked or relied on anyone else to make those things happen--she worked her butt off and took those things on by herself, which is something I admire and hope to emulate someday. She is definitely not someone who is sitting around passively waiting for a white knight or Daddy Government to save her.
In the interest of complete honesty here, I did raise and receive some support while I served overseas, though at the time I didn't know anyone on CC well enough that it would have been anything but inappropriate and crass to have highlighted the fact or asked people here to contribute to my work. Also in the interest of complete honesty, though I received support, I returned to the US with thousands less than I had saved up to make a start and do my missions work so to do so was a net financial cost to me (and I was frugal and out of touch with my feelings enough that my mental and emotional health suffered as well). So I would say there are times when it's appropriate for people to receive support or even charity, but that should be for a specific purpose and never become a way of life that feels generosity is owed to poor me.
