Misuse of the local church

[susi]

Hi all.
Not long ago I discovered through Facebook that a birthday and farewell party was held in my local church.
One of the elders and his wife decided to do this for their 18 year old daughter.
Most of the church members do not know it as they werent invited and nothing was announed in the announcements on Sunday morning.
I have to admit that my first reaccion was hurt as I wasnt invited. Then focusing on the photos, I noticed that the other 2 elders and most of the deacons including their famlies were there. Family memebers and friends realated to the 18 year old from church and people who are not from our church, but mostly among the guests were members of this church. About 40 to 50 people assisted. Our church has around 100 members. It was obvious a private party and not for all church members. Not a church thing, but celebrated inside the local church.
Im not against celebrations at church. There have been farewell parties before where the whole church was invited to join in or at least a whole part of a church like the womans group or youth group etc...but this case is different as the criteria for selecting the guests had to do with the type of relationship the 18 year old and her family have in church and out of church.
Honestly, I find this has a lack of respect for the rest of the members who arent aware that these things happen without them knowing. Not just because its the whole church who looks after the church and sustains it economically (water, electrisity, maintenance etc..) but the fact that there are people, including the elders who use the church without the consent of the rest.
I accedently found out through Facebook but others also found out through different means. there were family members of the 18 year old (cousins) who go to church who werent invited and also felt left out.

Ive spoken to the mother of this 18 year old how I felt. That this is a lack of respect to the rest of the church and that we shouldnt use the church for our own private and pesonal things as this is a misuse of the church and people can feel left out. That if its a church thing great but private parties and stuff should be celebrated elsewhere. We gotta divide what is of church matter and what is of personal use.
Her response was that we all see things differently but these things will continue to happen.

Im I being unreasonable? Its not the only case and Im wondering how many other similar things are taking place...
Knowing this, even though I might get invited one day I will not accept the invitation to respect the rest of the uninvited church members.

Has anybody here had a similar situation? Isnt this abuse of authority and favouritism?

It just seems wrong....

 

[p_rehbein]

Are you more upset that you were not invited? Or tha
t they had the celebration in the church building? You say:

Im not against celebrations at church.

but, then you feel it is a misuse?

Personally, I do not see anything wrong with the celebration being held there. It is a building.........were the Church congregates to worship and praise God, AND to fellowship in His name............ As long as they remembered God in their celebration, why not?

just my thoughts

 

[marinerscatch]

If they get the pastors permission then it seems legit. Maybe they rented the church, so ultimately the building fund made money. Personally, it would not bother me because some things are my business and some things I have no business being involved at all. Maybe not inviting other family members was in bad taste, but I don't see that the entire member body of the church needed to be invited. Besides, 18 year olds are kind of clickish. I don't see them wanting anyone they are not friends with there to begin with. To me, it's like renting a church building for a wedding but another pastor is doing the ceremony. It just doesn't seem to matter that much and ultimately like I already mentioned, the building fund gets cash from a source it normally doesn't come from.

 

[susi]

Are you more upset that you were not invited? Or tha
t they had the celebration in the church building? You say:

Im not against celebrations at church.

but, then you feel it is a misuse?

Personally, I do not see anything wrong with the celebration being held there. It is a building.........were the Church congregates to worship and praise God, AND to fellowship in His name............ As long as they remembered God in their celebration, why not?

just my thoughts

Its a misuse when you use the church for your own benefit without the church as a whole being aware.. Not the celebractions. Yes I first felt left out but analysing the situation, even if they invited me now i wouldnt go. How I felt at first is not the issue.

 

[susi]

If they get the pastors permission then it seems legit. Maybe they rented the church, so ultimately the building fund made money. Personally, it would not bother me because some things are my business and some things I have no business being involved at all. Maybe not inviting other family members was in bad taste, but I don't see that the entire member body of the church needed to be invited. Besides, 18 year olds are kind of clickish. I don't see them wanting anyone they are not friends with there to begin with. To me, it's like renting a church building for a wedding but another pastor is doing the ceremony. It just doesn't seem to matter that much and ultimately like I already mentioned, the building fund gets cash from a source it normally doesn't come from.

Noone rented the church. The church is bought and is paid off. But there are obvious expenses that the whole church pays for its maintanence If the whole church gave their consent it wouldnt be an issue.

 

[Locutus]

Many are chosen but few invited.

 

[marinerscatch]

Noone rented the church. The church is bought and is paid off. But there are obvious expenses that the whole church pays for its maintanence If the whole church gave their consent it wouldnt be an issue.

Are you a board member of this church?
Or, are you a member who typically attends church services?

I guess I don't understand the actual importance of bot being invited..

 

[susi]

Many are chosen but few invited.

lol

 

[JaumeJ]

Now you know which echelon is not yours……… Reminds me of the man in rages sent to the back while the welthy well-dressed was ushured up to the front……..things never change.

(I think of this only because of the ranking folks celebrating.)

 

[susi]

Are you a board member of this church?
Or, are you a member who typically attends church services?

I guess I don't understand the actual importance of bot being invited..

I dont know where you comes from but here in Spain we dont have board members.. everything is normally transparent. People know what money is used and for what. Yes, I am a member who typically attends church services. Yes not everyboday has to be invited to everything. When theres something for the women all the women are invited...If they go or not its up to them. when theres something for the youth all the youth is invited...i think i would call it consideration and fellowiship. Its not about inviting who you get on well with. Because if it is, I think thats something you gotta organise in your house or elsewhwere. Noone is paying rent and the money that comes from everyones offerings also goes to these things.

 

[marinerscatch]

I dont know where you comes from but here in Spain we dont have board members.. everything is normally transparent. People know what money is used and for what. Yes, I am a member who typically attends church services. Yes not everyboday has to be invited to everything. When theres something for the women all the women are invited...If they go or not its up to them. when theres something for the youth all the youth is invited...i think i would call it consideration and fellowiship. Its not about inviting who you get on well with. Because if it is, I think thats something you gotta organise in your house or elsewhwere. Noone is paying rent and the money that comes from everyones offerings also goes to these things.

I see and that makes a difference that we are from different parts of the world. Your customs are clearly different than ours but that is a good thing. I completely get it now

 

[susi]

I see and that makes a difference that we are from different parts of the world. Your customs are clearly different than ours but that is a good thing. I completely get it now

Thank you understanding it now. I know most of you here are from the USA and things are different there. I used to live in Australia and in the church I went to, people could used the facilities for their own things, but the whole church gave their consent and everything came out of thier pockets, not the churches. There were also rules and an insurance for these cases. I never gave these any thought as people can do whatever they want with what is theirs.

 

[marinerscatch]

Thank you understanding it now. I know most of you here are from the USA and things are different there. I used to live in Australia and in the church I went to, people could used the facilities for their own things, but the whole church gave their consent and everything came out of thier pockets, not the churches. There were also rules and an insurance for these cases. I never gave these any thought as people can do whatever they want with what is theirs.

Actually, I wished the churches in America were like yours in Spain. It seems to me, the best way to keep the heartbeat of any church is by always involving everyone in everything. Here, it can be like 20 groups within the one big group and no one wants to invite or be with others out of their group. It's rather sad because if we cannot get along here on earth at church, how do we plan on spending eternity together

 

[JaumeJ]

I dont know where you comes from but here in Spain we dont have board members.. everything is normally transparent. People know what money is used and for what. Yes, I am a member who typically attends church services. Yes not everyboday has to be invited to everything. When theres something for the women all the women are invited...If they go or not its up to them. when theres something for the youth all the youth is invited...i think i would call it consideration and fellowiship. Its not about inviting who you get on well with. Because if it is, I think thats something you gotta organise in your house or elsewhwere. Noone is paying rent and the money that comes from everyones offerings also goes to these things.

If you are a member of the RCC in Spain, I am afraid your church is very class conscious with monies being collected for romerieas, rocios, anegelus services, and just about every saint's day celebration with patron saints everywehre. The only part of the RCC I see here in Spain that shows unconditional love to most all is Caritas and that wonderful priest in Madrid who cares for just about everyone.

RCC members here turn their noses up to anyone who names Jesus Christ as Savior but is not one of them.

As concerning the evangelicals I have encountered here, many of them, especially soccer plaers collect monies to spend in brothels.

I see teh celebrations all around the country with those who are of a certain casta always presen while the actual church goers who seem to be spiritual are ignore, but this is good, since there is a fake miracle under every tree, and a few in them

Sorry for the tirade, for all I know you belong to a wonderful congregatio of people dedicated to doing Christ's work...…..so read this as though you are listening to the rain if this is the cse.

God bless you always with His graace.

 

[susi]

If you are a member of the RCC in Spain, I am afraid your church is very class conscious with monies being collected for romerieas, rocios, anegelus services, and just about every saint's day celebration with patron saints everywehre. The only part of the RCC I see here in Spain that shows unconditional love to most all is Caritas and that wonderful priest in Madrid who cares for just about everyone.

RCC members here turn their noses up to anyone who names Jesus Christ as Savior but is not one of them.

As concerning the evangelicals I have encountered here, many of them, especially soccer plaers collect monies to spend in brothels.

I see teh celebrations all around the country with those who are of a certain casta always presen while the actual church goers who seem to be spiritual are ignore, but this is good, since there is a fake miracle under every tree, and a few in them

Sorry for the tirade, for all I know you belong to a wonderful congregatio of people dedicated to doing Christ's work...…..so read this as though you are listening to the rain if this is the cse.

God bless you always with His graace.

Lol brother. My church is an evangelical Bretheren Church. Nothing to do with what you are talking about. Its obviously not perfect. But I understand what you mean. Its a catholic country and most evangelical churches are pentacostle. Thats why ita a drama for me. where do I go?

 

[JaumeJ]

Lol brother. My church is an evangelical Bretheren Church. Nothing to do with what you are talking about. Its obviously not perfect. But I understand what you mean. Its a catholic country and most evangelical churches are pentacostle. Thats why ita a drama for me. where do I go?

I know there are God's people everywhere, but oh is it ever so hard to find them in this world today. I actually stopped watching the soccer games (fñuttbo) long ago because of certain players and their public displays of their ffaith while collecting "women" for their true trofeos. Almost all from S. America........

I love charismatic and pentacostal services............that is important to be led by the Espiritu Santo..... If the spirit is not there, neither am I. Praise God, Yahweh, amen.

All blessings in Jesus Christ...

 

[JaumeJ]

PS.....about yhour actual op..if the daughter is not a member of the congregation I can see having a party in the meeting place for her as long as it is completely paid for by the family, and even better if it makes money for the congregations needs.

 

[Adstar]

Hi all.
Not long ago I discovered through Facebook that a birthday and farewell party was held in my local church.
One of the elders and his wife decided to do this for their 18 year old daughter.
Most of the church members do not know it as they werent invited and nothing was announed in the announcements on Sunday morning.
I have to admit that my first reaccion was hurt as I wasnt invited. Then focusing on the photos, I noticed that the other 2 elders and most of the deacons including their famlies were there. Family memebers and friends realated to the 18 year old from church and people who are not from our church, but mostly among the guests were members of this church. About 40 to 50 people assisted. Our church has around 100 members. It was obvious a private party and not for all church members. Not a church thing, but celebrated inside the local church.
Im not against celebrations at church. There have been farewell parties before where the whole church was invited to join in or at least a whole part of a church like the womans group or youth group etc...but this case is different as the criteria for selecting the guests had to do with the type of relationship the 18 year old and her family have in church and out of church.
Honestly, I find this has a lack of respect for the rest of the members who arent aware that these things happen without them knowing. Not just because its the whole church who looks after the church and sustains it economically (water, electrisity, maintenance etc..) but the fact that there are people, including the elders who use the church without the consent of the rest.
I accedently found out through Facebook but others also found out through different means. there were family members of the 18 year old (cousins) who go to church who werent invited and also felt left out.

Ive spoken to the mother of this 18 year old how I felt. That this is a lack of respect to the rest of the church and that we shouldnt use the church for our own private and pesonal things as this is a misuse of the church and people can feel left out. That if its a church thing great but private parties and stuff should be celebrated elsewhere. We gotta divide what is of church matter and what is of personal use.
Her response was that we all see things differently but these things will continue to happen.

Im I being unreasonable? Its not the only case and Im wondering how many other similar things are taking place...
Knowing this, even though I might get invited one day I will not accept the invitation to respect the rest of the uninvited church members.

Has anybody here had a similar situation? Isnt this abuse of authority and favouritism?

It just seems wrong....

I can understand why church members would be hurt about not being invited and left in the dark.. A Church should be one big family so they should have invited the Church members.. They could have stipulated a donation to cover the cost of catering for each member if they did not have the money to to have a big party..

I believe now that Church members who want to use the church for a private function should be entitled to obtain the use of the Church from this time on because they have created a precedent.. So it would only be fair to make the church available to all members for private functions after it has been used for such a function by the elder and his wife..

 

[susi]

I know there are God's people everywhere, but oh is it ever so hard to find them in this world today. I actually stopped watching the soccer games (fñuttbo) long ago because of certain players and their public displays of their ffaith while collecting "women" for their true trofeos. Almost all from S. America........

I love charismatic and pentacostal services............that is important to be led by the Espiritu Santo..... If the spirit is not there, neither am I. Praise God, Yahweh, amen.

All blessings in Jesus Christ...

I dont have any problems with the chriasmatic. They are my brothers and sisters too. But I was brought up in moderate churches. Spain isnt South America. I love my south American friends but the mentality is totally different. All cutures have their pros and cons.

 

[JaumeJ]

I am the first to know Spain is not somewhere next to Mexico, which I have heard from an American, Estadounidense. Growing up in California I studied about Hernan Cortez and his cousin, yes!, his cousin, Pizarro. Great explorers. I recognize the role of Spain in the exploration and naming of so many territories of the US. California for one, a Catalan name meaning forno calida or hot oven.. Tell a US citizen the names of many of the states are Spanish and you may get an argumetn.

I live in Spain now, and I have no desire to ever leave. The Spanish people(s9 can be annoying, and I mean to each other, but they are basically great. If you want an example of being annoying to each other, start with Pedro Sanchez and Señor Casado...…...if those two do not annoy each other, no one does.

I adore the people here, and though they have faults as do all peoples, they do not seem to have all the prejudices of other nationalities...they do have some but they are hard to pin down

God bless you for being first His Child and second, Spanihs… Long live the Andaluces, the Castillanos, the Gallegos, the Asturianos, the Basques, the Catalans, the Valencianos, the Baleareanos, the Canarios, the Extremeños, and even the Spain inclinded of Gebralter and Andorra...