I should print this out and reread it constantly. He's been so mean over the last two days and today my adult son started in. It's not about the bible anymore. That was just my vulnerable spot to invade my safe mental space. Now it's the narc and the flying monkeys and if it weren't for my 12yr old daughter, I might step into traffic. But, reading those verses again made me feel less isolated, less alone. I cannot type right because of the tears. So I'm going to write it all down, everything all of you are teaching and saying. I'm going to read it until it's memorized so I can survive my hell.
How to respond
- Thread starter MMarie
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Sounds as though he has an abusive mindset. Such people rarely change. Introducing them to things you hope will affect them really never works. The core issue is typically they won't take responsibility for their words and actions.
The first step to change is admitting some things wrong. If someone never thinks they do anything wrong then theres no chance of them changing. That's why so few ever actually change.
And I'm guessing this behavior started well before you were into the bible. Thus it's not a spiritual attack but rather a continuation of the same behavior.
I'd suggest have a backup plan ready in case he ever becomes physical. Not all do, but it's always a possibility.
The first step to change is admitting some things wrong. If someone never thinks they do anything wrong then theres no chance of them changing. That's why so few ever actually change.
And I'm guessing this behavior started well before you were into the bible. Thus it's not a spiritual attack but rather a continuation of the same behavior.
I'd suggest have a backup plan ready in case he ever becomes physical. Not all do, but it's always a possibility.
-
1
- Show all
Hi Marie, so sorry you’re going through this 
I hope you’re alright.
First off, can you create a folder in your email to have his emails directed to that folder so you don’t have to see them when you get your regular emails?
Interesting the Tao is called The Way yet Jesus is The Way, The Truth and The Life
How to respond?
Just some suggestions:
—> In Faith. Faith in God, what He did for you, His ability to lead you into all truth and strengthen you, build you up.
—> Believing The Word of God, The Bible, what Jesus has done for you, His Promises. Jesus is right. Don’t believe lies, threats or false ways... not now you’ve found the truth and the truth is guaranteed to set you free. Keep hold of your Faith and belief, hear/read Truth on a regular basis, via The Word.
—> Prayer. Someone once said, pray so you don’t faint.. Spending time with God, esp in Prayer, even in quiet in His Presence is incredibly helpful.
Agree with other responses - it is a spiritual warfare, sometimes people close to us are used to discourage us from getting freedom in Christ.
Don’t be rattled by someone else’s bad behaviour.
Please Don’t let no one discourage you from learning about Jesus, The Father or The Holy Spirit. Or His promises to you!
Jesus loves you very much. Let Him show you personally just how much!
Have you heard of June Hunt or Patrick Doyle. They might help you. Jill Southern Jones also has a good video on ungodly control, worth checking out.
If someone gets violent (rabid) please don't hesitate to reach out for help, support, assistance.
Hope you’re ok. It’s late here I have to log off, but I’ll be thinking about you. Pray you are helped and protected and strengthened in the Lord, God Bless you
I hope you’re alright.First off, can you create a folder in your email to have his emails directed to that folder so you don’t have to see them when you get your regular emails?
Interesting the Tao is called The Way yet Jesus is The Way, The Truth and The Life
How to respond?
Just some suggestions:
—> In Faith. Faith in God, what He did for you, His ability to lead you into all truth and strengthen you, build you up.
—> Believing The Word of God, The Bible, what Jesus has done for you, His Promises. Jesus is right. Don’t believe lies, threats or false ways... not now you’ve found the truth and the truth is guaranteed to set you free. Keep hold of your Faith and belief, hear/read Truth on a regular basis, via The Word.
—> Prayer. Someone once said, pray so you don’t faint.. Spending time with God, esp in Prayer, even in quiet in His Presence is incredibly helpful.
Agree with other responses - it is a spiritual warfare, sometimes people close to us are used to discourage us from getting freedom in Christ.
Don’t be rattled by someone else’s bad behaviour.
Please Don’t let no one discourage you from learning about Jesus, The Father or The Holy Spirit. Or His promises to you!
Jesus loves you very much. Let Him show you personally just how much!
Have you heard of June Hunt or Patrick Doyle. They might help you. Jill Southern Jones also has a good video on ungodly control, worth checking out.
If someone gets violent (rabid) please don't hesitate to reach out for help, support, assistance.
Hope you’re ok. It’s late here I have to log off, but I’ll be thinking about you. Pray you are helped and protected and strengthened in the Lord, God Bless you
Sometimes the best way to ward-off naysayers is with the Word itself... I doubt your husband has studied the bible much, or even read the whole thing, so when he says that the bible contradicts itself, ask him to show you where? I doubt he'll have many answers. Belief is a choice, he's made the choice not to believe, so he should have the courtesy to allow you to choose for yourself. But I know its tough to deal with an overbearing know-it-all. I always ask people who bash Christianity; What exactly do you hate about what Christ taught? They seldom have answer..
-
1
- Show all
K
How odd. I didn't know about this particular Stobel book but was going to recommend his other books to her. To the OP all of Lee Strobels books are really good at answering questions that are tough. Another is "Evidence that Demands a Verdict". Tell him to start with those then come back and we'll give you some more books.
-
1
- Show all
If he truly is narcissistic it’s no wonder he despises the Bible, and your passion. He completely understands that you have a new Master. The only people who find truth are those who look for it. Your husband doesn’t want Truth, he wants control. You can never win a debate against someone who chooses to not believe. For those who believe, no proof is needed. For those who oppose, no proof is sufficient.
-
1
- Show all
You're in a fight against demons influencing your husband,
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Eph.6:12
And you're more than a survivor. In Christ, you're a demon slayer and this heart of Jesus in you will conquer all evil,
I will gladly spend myself and all I have for you, even though it seems that the more I love you, the less you love me. 2Cor.12:15
Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. Rom.12:21
Faith and hope in Jesus, love as he wants us to. Give the devil a good beat down. :hug:
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Eph.6:12
And you're more than a survivor. In Christ, you're a demon slayer and this heart of Jesus in you will conquer all evil,
I will gladly spend myself and all I have for you, even though it seems that the more I love you, the less you love me. 2Cor.12:15
Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. Rom.12:21
Faith and hope in Jesus, love as he wants us to. Give the devil a good beat down. :hug:
-
1
-
1
- Show all
It's one thing to not believe the Bible and/or to assert (wrongly) that it's full of contradictions. However, I feel there is something much darker at play here.
OP, rest in God and put on His armor. As others have said, this isn't a flesh-and-blood battle, but a spiritual one.
And remember, as bad as things may be for you, your husband is not beyond saving, and Jesus came to die and rise again for every one of us.
OP, rest in God and put on His armor. As others have said, this isn't a flesh-and-blood battle, but a spiritual one.
And remember, as bad as things may be for you, your husband is not beyond saving, and Jesus came to die and rise again for every one of us.
-
1
- Show all
I actually would love to leave but I can't. Rent is too expensive elsewhere, though that is my goal. I'd kick him out if I thought I would gain peace from that but there is something in this house. I want to leave it too.
As for name calling, I didn't realize I was doing that. I was just trying to paint my reality. In my home my feelings and thoughts are disregarded and ridiculed. My beliefs are made fun of and I am mocked. There is no room for me, except in my own head. If I stay trapped in my head, I will go crazy. It is like solitary confinement and I've been trapped in it for over 25 years. My reaching out here is for sanity, for something other than my own misery. I want the pain to stop. I want to stop hearing, by everyone in my world, how I am the only one that feels this way or thinks that, that I am defective and invalid, that I don't matter, that I am the problem.....
I am learning to set boundaries. I let him do him but he sees his family as an extension of himself. Am I to always mirror him? How can I do my own thing if my autonomy is attacked, if what makes me me isn't allowed!
I am alone! He has put my adult sons against me and turned my daughter s into lost souls. I have lost all but one of my children and I have lost myself. And according to him, I am _____ and he's not the only one to see it so, where does that leave me. Nowhere. I'm a beggar, crying out for someone to see me.... maybe we all are, especially him.
As for name calling, I didn't realize I was doing that. I was just trying to paint my reality. In my home my feelings and thoughts are disregarded and ridiculed. My beliefs are made fun of and I am mocked. There is no room for me, except in my own head. If I stay trapped in my head, I will go crazy. It is like solitary confinement and I've been trapped in it for over 25 years. My reaching out here is for sanity, for something other than my own misery. I want the pain to stop. I want to stop hearing, by everyone in my world, how I am the only one that feels this way or thinks that, that I am defective and invalid, that I don't matter, that I am the problem.....
I am learning to set boundaries. I let him do him but he sees his family as an extension of himself. Am I to always mirror him? How can I do my own thing if my autonomy is attacked, if what makes me me isn't allowed!
I am alone! He has put my adult sons against me and turned my daughter s into lost souls. I have lost all but one of my children and I have lost myself. And according to him, I am _____ and he's not the only one to see it so, where does that leave me. Nowhere. I'm a beggar, crying out for someone to see me.... maybe we all are, especially him.
I wanted to come back and apologize for my response to this post. You words here are exactly right. Your message is exactly right. I responded wrong because I was so busy being hurt and betrayed by him that I couldn't see my own stuff. I'm not saying I am seeing all my own garbage yet, but I think God and Jesus are working on me. Anyways, the venom that came out towards you was a refection of my fear and pain, not my anger and I am sorry.
Oh and that "something in this house", i mentioned is gone. My daughter senses it too. Our house isn't heavy with dark spirits amy longer.
Oh and that "something in this house", i mentioned is gone. My daughter senses it too. Our house isn't heavy with dark spirits amy longer.
-
1
-
1
- Show all
My husband and I went through a very dark time. He believed I was cheating on him, and would not believe me when I told him I wasn't. It got ugly often, and I truly started to believe I was the things he claimed, even though I never cheated, nor wanted to cheat. I kept praying for God to change his heart: For Got to use me to change his heart: For God to make him see me in a new light, and so on... It wasn't until I changed my prayer to "God, change me", that things started to really change in my life.
I am not telling you that you need to do ALL the changing. Clearly he has things to work on, as did my own husband. And I am not even telling you to stay with him. That's not my place as that is between God, you and him. However, changing your payer, to focus your life on Christ will change so much in your life, that you will be AMAZED. Mountains will move.
Peace!!
I am not telling you that you need to do ALL the changing. Clearly he has things to work on, as did my own husband. And I am not even telling you to stay with him. That's not my place as that is between God, you and him. However, changing your payer, to focus your life on Christ will change so much in your life, that you will be AMAZED. Mountains will move.
Peace!!
-
1
- Show all
Thanks for that. It's funny, I've been praying to have God/Jesus change me (mind, heart, and actions). I am a new christian and I have no skills in being anything other than a co-dependent mess. I have actually had a miracle happen too. I have a nervous system thing, in the spine, that make me have a numbing, cold prickly feeling all over my body. One day, I had had enough and I cried out "please take it away". No kidding, 3 days later I noticed it wasn't numb anymore. No cold pricklies. I don't know if I am changing but I can definitely testify to my husband that God/Jesus is real! That's a start. It also is very reassuring to me that I am not alone; I don't need to be afraid, etc.
-
2
-
1
- Show all
