What Do Men REALLY Mean When They Say, "God Made Men Visual"?

[Hungry]

It’s all biological. Everyone wants to get someone just a bit better than they are. Naturally, beauty is genetically favourable based on ratio of features and body parts. Sexy is an element of seduction. It basically is a green light for planting seeds. Some things signal for testosterone to be released and this causes men to strongly desire to increase population. Women get to choose the suitable donor and instinctively pick the alphas as prime. Psychology they will settle but I’m telling you at the gym, they are giving “take me” gestures to the alphas. No question about it.

 

[AuntieAnt]

It’s all biological. Everyone wants to get someone just a bit better than they are. Naturally, beauty is genetically favourable based on ratio of features and body parts. Sexy is an element of seduction. It basically is a green light for planting seeds. Some things signal for testosterone to be released and this causes men to strongly desire to increase population. Women get to choose the suitable donor and instinctively pick the alphas as prime. Psychology they will settle but I’m telling you at the gym, they are giving “take me” gestures to the alphas. No question about it.

Oddly, every time I'm at the gym, the men are either staring at themselves in the mirrors or checking out each other. All my female friends who work out say the same thing. The girls you see at the gym may be giving signals, but it's to no avail as long as the guys are staring at, comparing to, and competing against the other alphas.

 

[Aephus]

I like this thread. I think it is something that needs to be talked about.

I think anyone can be visual. I don’t know if I can say one sex is more visual than the other, but I have seen this stigma stated before. How true it is, I don’t know. I’ve never been a girl.

Do I think physical appearance plays a role in things? To an extent, yes. But there must be something more. A woman who loves Jesus truly is where the true beauty shines. And I think that really accentuates a woman’s natural beauty. I’ve seen aesthetically pleasing women with really ugly attitudes and behavior that I wouldn’t want anything to do with in a romantic/help mate sort of way.

I think Peter puts it great here in 1 Peter 3:3-4
(NKJV)

3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

I’m not saying you can’t get yourself all fixed up—that’s totally fine—but it’s the inner beauty that truly matters. I really believe that’s how relationships and bonds are formed, when you love people for who they are. Also, Godly attributes are attractive.

I hope to be a father some day, and when I pray for my spouse, (if it be God’s will for me to get married and experience that), I pray for her character. I want to be with someone who has the law of kindness on her tongue, who is wise, who loves much, who will stand beside me.

I don’t think this saying should ever be used as an excuse to sin. Men gotta take responsibility. We’ve been given the Holy Spirit so we no longer are bound to a lustful, sensual way of thinking. We can now put to death those things by the Holy Spirit. But we have to walk in it.

Now I gotta go back and read what everyone wrote lol.

 

[zeroturbulence]

It just means that men in general are more swayed by a woman's physical beauty than women are swayed by a man's good looks.

 

[Hungry]

Oddly, every time I'm at the gym, the men are either staring at themselves in the mirrors or checking out each other. All my female friends who work out say the same thing. The girls you see at the gym may be giving signals, but it's to no avail as long as the guys are staring at, comparing to, and competing against the other alphas.

I assure you the yoga pants and sports bras are not going unnoticed. Perhaps their gaze in the mirror is strategically past their biceps and focused on the eye candy in the background. Maybe there is someone keeping track of when you go to the gym and aligns his heavy lifting days to impress you and your friends, hmm?

 

[Gracie_14]

It just means that men in general are more swayed by a woman's physical beauty than women are swayed by a man's good looks.

Hmmm, interesting...

(The guy's cute....in all honesty )

 

[JustEli]

Man, I need to go to the gym, sounds like a good place to meet hot chicks. I might even work out
or somthin.......... hahahahahha

 

[Didymous]

Man, I need to go to the gym, sounds like a good place to meet hot chicks. I might even work out
or somthin.......... hahahahahha

What's up, bro?

 

[Gracie_14]

Man, I need to go to the gym, sounds like a good place to meet hot chicks. I might even work out
or somthin.......... hahahahahha

Good luck with that, dude.

 

[JustEli]

mornin dude bro

 

[JustEli]

hi gracie

 

[Gracie_14]

hi gracie

Hello Eli

 

[Adstar]

Ah yes, Sir Adstar -- I was expecting this answer, and you indeed get a gold star for following through. Maybe what it really means is that you and I have been here too long. I'm sure a good number of people here could predict my answers, too.

I know that your answer is founded on the basis of men looking for women to have their children, thereby making good looks, health, and physical fitness important commodities, but I can assure you that part of the inspiration (and obvious disillusionment) for this thread has been the many, many times I've been approached by much, much older men (starting when I was about 14--at least that's the first time I can remember an older man making a comment to me.)

I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking for a mother to have his children (as if that would have made it any less creepy, but I digress.)

Likewise, when I was in my 30's, I was on two popular Christian dating sites for several years. One used to have chat rooms divided by decades of age (20's, 30's... 70's... etc.), even though people could move freely across the rooms regardless of age.

Without fail, you would regularly find men in their 50's, 60's, and up hanging out in the 20's and 30's room, and perhaps I'm wrongly judging here but I'm pretty sure their main focus was virility, not fertility.

In fact, I would wager that they would have been upset if the young women pursued would have become pregnant, because they were already talking about how expensive it was to pay for the ex-wives and children they already had.

And, not that it doesn't go both ways. I clearly remember one woman who was almost 50 (I think I was 35 at the time) who used to say that if she could just kick out all the younger women in the room, she's have a chance with the 30-something males she would try to talk to.

(Not that love can't work across age ranges, of course. But I'm pretty sure most people who have reached 50 or older aren't thinking about reproduction when they go after those who are 20 and 30 years younger than they are.)

Well as a 53 year old guy i am no longer interested in having Children or getting married so i am out of the game..

But a handsome looking young man in their mid 30's is attractive to woman no matter if the woman is 18 or if she is 50..

So it should not be surprising to a young attractive 24 year old woman that guys from 18 to 50 will find them attractive..

Now of course the 50 year old woman has no chance with the young man and the 50 year old guy has no chance with the young woman but that's the way it is..

There are always the odd couples like the 50 year old millionaire with his 24 year old blond bombshell trophy wife but we know that is all about the young woman being attracted to the size of the mans bank account rather then any attraction to the old guy himself..

I have no experience with internet dating sites or rooms.. In my opinion that's probably the worst place to go to find a partner.. So many fakes and it is so easy to fake on the internet.. Like walking in a mine field..

 

[Didymous]

Man, I need to go to the gym, sounds like a good place to meet hot chicks. I might even work out
or somthin.......... hahahahahha

I suggest you work out and get in good shape first, so the hot chicks will want to check you out while you "work out."

 

[Deade]

It’s all biological. Everyone wants to get someone just a bit better than they are. Naturally, beauty is genetically favourable based on ratio of features and body parts. Sexy is an element of seduction. It basically is a green light for planting seeds. Some things signal for testosterone to be released and this causes men to strongly desire to increase population. Women get to choose the suitable donor and instinctively pick the alphas as prime. Psychology they will settle but I’m telling you at the gym, they are giving “take me” gestures to the alphas. No question about it.

Well Kim, I just discovered this thread. While it is true, that it is biological, it does not necessarily stay that way. I have pointed out in the past that I had a good job with benefits and I was fairly good looking as a young man. I wasn't real tall, only 5'8", and I was big boned so I always looked skinny even though I had a lot of muscle. I would probably judge myself a 7 or 8, but the money factor gave me an edge.

Getting back to the biological, I think it has to do with our minds seeing attractiveness as fertility. Even if we don't think that sways us, I believe there is something to it. Like Didy pointed out, teenagers are always thinking about the sexual aspect of a relationship. I was guilty of this which led me to marry wrongly and too early. I think I just wanted a secure bed partner. That is a sinners mindset. Had I used the intelligence God gave me, my life would had been quite different.

A lot of my problems come from a dysfunctional childhood. My mother never fully advised and encouraged me to excel at anything. I grew up in a two house complex of aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings with two matriarchs running things. Nobody was playing the part of a parent. We just kind of compared notes and raised ourselves. So I married early just to find something different. The houses being in Watts ghetto of L.A. didn't help matters.

At 72 years of age and much wiser, I think I can reflect a little better on you OP. I could only answer the last one as none of the others fit. Men and women are different, psychologically. We can work that to our advantage or not. We should think things through and use our God given wisdom to make better choices. As a father, I should be careful what messages I sent to my children by the things I partake in. Suggestive movies and music send the wrong signals to them. Young ladies dressing up to look like hookers also is just plain wrong. But teenagers don't see this, so the parents should be their there to speak against it. Tell the youngsters just what message they are sending forth by their actions.

 

[Dino246]

I've been wondering how to express this without it sounding like I'm attacking the OP. I'm not, and the comments below are not directed to her, or anyone, particularly.

If a guy in whom you are interested (or who simply posts a dating site profile) says that he is only interested in women who match certain physical parameters, and you don't meet those parameters, is that somehow "wrong" of him? He's being honest, after all, even though his preferences may not be what you think they should be. Just move on.

For the men, if a lady who you find attractive only wants to date men taller than 'x', richer than 'y' and older than dirt, and you aren't within those parameters, is that "wrong" of her? Just move on.

People, there are other fish in the sea. If you think the catch is worth the effort, then put in the effort. BUT, don't whine when your "person of interest" doubles down on their preferences and leaves you in the friend zone. You can't blame anyone but yourself for trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

/blunt off.

 

[Hamarr]

I've been wondering how to express this without it sounding like I'm attacking the OP. I'm not, and the comments below are not directed to her, or anyone, particularly.

If a guy in whom you are interested (or who simply posts a dating site profile) says that he is only interested in women who match certain physical parameters, and you don't meet those parameters, is that somehow "wrong" of him? He's being honest, after all, even though his preferences may not be what you think they should be. Just move on.

For the men, if a lady who you find attractive only wants to date men taller than 'x', richer than 'y' and older than dirt, and you aren't within those parameters, is that "wrong" of her? Just move on.

People, there are other fish in the sea. If you think the catch is worth the effort, then put in the effort. BUT, don't whine when your "person of interest" doubles down on their preferences and leaves you in the friend zone. You can't blame anyone but yourself for trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

/blunt off.

That’s a good point. It reminds me of some of the stuff in Models. Not being overly invested in a person. And then having a more abundance oriented mindset where rejection of whatever sort means they are incompatible and you move on. coming from a more negative place, this is hard but a place I would like to get to.

 

[Lynx]

I've been wondering how to express this without it sounding like I'm attacking the OP. I'm not, and the comments below are not directed to her, or anyone, particularly.

If a guy in whom you are interested (or who simply posts a dating site profile) says that he is only interested in women who match certain physical parameters, and you don't meet those parameters, is that somehow "wrong" of him? He's being honest, after all, even though his preferences may not be what you think they should be. Just move on.

For the men, if a lady who you find attractive only wants to date men taller than 'x', richer than 'y' and older than dirt, and you aren't within those parameters, is that "wrong" of her? Just move on.

People, there are other fish in the sea. If you think the catch is worth the effort, then put in the effort. BUT, don't whine when your "person of interest" doubles down on their preferences and leaves you in the friend zone. You can't blame anyone but yourself for trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

/blunt off.

I'm neither the OP nor a woman in general, but I'm gonna take a stab at explaining this. If I'm wrong Kim can correct my perception of her OP.

The problem is not that some men prefer choosing spouses based on physical beauty. If a guy wants a girl because he thinks she looks pretty (and if he thinks he has a good shot at getting her) more power to him.

The problem is not that some men look at porn. Porn IS a problem, but that is not what the complaint of this thread is about.

The problem is people try to justify it by saying "Oh well, men will be men. God made men visual." That doesn't excuse anything at all. God also made us with brains and sentience. God made us with the ability to be more than animals who blindly follow instincts.

The problem is when people try to use "God made men visual" to excuse men for being pervs. Also when they try to use it to justify denigrating women for not measuring up to their concept of physical beauty.

 

[seoulsearch]

I've been wondering how to express this without it sounding like I'm attacking the OP. I'm not, and the comments below are not directed to her, or anyone, particularly.

If a guy in whom you are interested (or who simply posts a dating site profile) says that he is only interested in women who match certain physical parameters, and you don't meet those parameters, is that somehow "wrong" of him? He's being honest, after all, even though his preferences may not be what you think they should be. Just move on.

For the men, if a lady who you find attractive only wants to date men taller than 'x', richer than 'y' and older than dirt, and you aren't within those parameters, is that "wrong" of her? Just move on.

People, there are other fish in the sea. If you think the catch is worth the effort, then put in the effort. BUT, don't whine when your "person of interest" doubles down on their preferences and leaves you in the friend zone. You can't blame anyone but yourself for trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

/blunt off.

I'm neither the OP nor a woman in general, but I'm gonna take a stab at explaining this. If I'm wrong Kim can correct my perception of her OP.

The problem is not that some men prefer choosing spouses based on physical beauty. If a guy wants a girl because he thinks she looks pretty (and if he thinks he has a good shot at getting her) more power to him.

The problem is not that some men look at porn. Porn IS a problem, but that is not what the complaint of this thread is about.

The problem is people try to justify it by saying "Oh well, men will be men. God made men visual." That doesn't excuse anything at all. God also made us with brains and sentience. God made us with the ability to be more than animals who blindly follow instincts.

The problem is when people try to use "God made men visual" to excuse men for being pervs. Also when they try to use it to justify denigrating women for not measuring up to their concept of physical beauty.

Hopefully this won't sound too dichotomous, but I wholeheartedly agree with BOTH Dino and Lynx's posts, and think they probably expressed some of the things I was trying to say in a way better than I wound up saying them.

 

[Lynx]

I've been wondering how to express this without it sounding like I'm attacking the OP. I'm not, and the comments below are not directed to her, or anyone, particularly.

If a guy in whom you are interested (or who simply posts a dating site profile) says that he is only interested in women who match certain physical parameters, and you don't meet those parameters, is that somehow "wrong" of him? He's being honest, after all, even though his preferences may not be what you think they should be. Just move on.

For the men, if a lady who you find attractive only wants to date men taller than 'x', richer than 'y' and older than dirt, and you aren't within those parameters, is that "wrong" of her? Just move on.

People, there are other fish in the sea. If you think the catch is worth the effort, then put in the effort. BUT, don't whine when your "person of interest" doubles down on their preferences and leaves you in the friend zone. You can't blame anyone but yourself for trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

/blunt off.

But yeah, there are a lot of women who are rejected for looks, and they get in a huff and start complaining about men in general because they got their feelings hurt.

Those women should probably be glad they dodged that particular bullet. They would likely get traded off for a newer model once they started aging a bit.