trying to find a date? bah humbug

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Dec 9, 2018
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#21
I never really knew what middle age was... I'm sure I'm way past it by now anyhoo. I suppose I'm the "desperate older woman" you're referring to except sans the "desperate" part. Hehe! ;) There’s definitely no shortage of men in pursuit. Not that I'm Marilyn Monroe or anything, cuz I definitely am not. I know it’s because I'm genuinely a happy child of God, bouncing along and saying hello to everyone I meet. I’m humming a tune or singing in the grocery store, smiling at everybody. Being a happy upbeat person attracts people to you.

I've tried Christian dating sites and met a few guys, but I felt we were more suited as friends, ya know? Which we still are. There are men in my area who have asked me out, but their lifestyle and mine don't mesh. And there was a man who recently followed me around the grocery store, smiling & waving to me, until I finally said hello to him. He gave me a brief synopsis of his life, told me the business he was with, and gave me his phone number. But no bells are ringing for me because he didn't say much about the Lord. And a few other things… :rolleyes:

At any rate, it would be nice to have a godly companion. But nope, this ol lady isn't desperate enough to settle for just any man. If we can’t complement each other’s lives spiritually, there’s no sense in trying to become a couple. Right?

By the way, if you feel shy and self-conscious in public, you should practice making eye contact with people and saying hello. And smile, smile, smile. :D Especially if you have your eye on someone special. Jesus made Himself available to folks and they were attracted to His acceptance of them. They could be real with Him. Try breaking out of your shell and speak to strangers like you do to the new people at your church. Everyone appreciates when someone gives them the time of day. :giggle:
AuntieAnt, when I grow up I want to be like you! (in the female role model sense, definitely NOT subtracting from my penultimate goal of being like Christ though :) ). Seriously though, I LOVE your attitude and there is much wisdom in what you said (and, I somehow doubt that you are even nearly an "ole lady" either! ;) ). Even on this 2 dimensional medium your warmth and smile radiates...so it's no wonder that you have men chasing you down the grocery aisles!! lol Good for you that being older (whatever "older" is for you) and alone (as far as relationship status) don't make you feel desperate enough to settle.
At any rate, it would be nice to have a godly companion. But nope, this ol lady isn't desperate enough to settle for just any man. If we can’t complement each other’s lives spiritually, there’s no sense in trying to become a couple. Right?
Underline, underline, underline...highlight!!! <copious notetaker here>

AuntieAnt, I hope that we get to talk together again. Thank you for what you shared.
 

gracenjoy

New member
Mar 30, 2019
14
14
3
#24
Jumping off topic for a moment but... not sure that we've met before now so I just wanted to say welcome, gracenjoy! It's really good to have you here as a part of us! :) ... and I very much appreciate the insights and the encouraging thoughts that you shared. Totally agree! (And, again, welcome to CChat!! )
thanx Peas, nice to meet you too!
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,101
113
#25
I've had two dates my entire life-one when I was nine. the other when I was 23.
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#26
I never really knew what middle age was... I'm sure I'm way past it by now anyhoo. I suppose I'm the "desperate older woman" you're referring to except sans the "desperate" part. Hehe! ;) There’s definitely no shortage of men in pursuit. Not that I'm Marilyn Monroe or anything, cuz I definitely am not. I know it’s because I'm genuinely a happy child of God, bouncing along and saying hello to everyone I meet. I’m humming a tune or singing in the grocery store, smiling at everybody. Being a happy upbeat person attracts people to you.

I've tried Christian dating sites and met a few guys, but I felt we were more suited as friends, ya know? Which we still are. There are men in my area who have asked me out, but their lifestyle and mine don't mesh. And there was a man who recently followed me around the grocery store, smiling & waving to me, until I finally said hello to him. He gave me a brief synopsis of his life, told me the business he was with, and gave me his phone number. But no bells are ringing for me because he didn't say much about the Lord. And a few other things… :rolleyes:

At any rate, it would be nice to have a godly companion. But nope, this ol lady isn't desperate enough to settle for just any man. If we can’t complement each other’s lives spiritually, there’s no sense in trying to become a couple. Right?

By the way, if you feel shy and self-conscious in public, you should practice making eye contact with people and saying hello. And smile, smile, smile. :D Especially if you have your eye on someone special. Jesus made Himself available to folks and they were attracted to His acceptance of them. They could be real with Him. Try breaking out of your shell and speak to strangers like you do to the new people at your church. Everyone appreciates when someone gives them the time of day. :giggle:
Aw I hope you find a Godly man soon! :giggle:
 

TM19782017

Active member
Dec 15, 2018
256
158
43
#27
Hard to find a date. I've had two since my divorce and one relationship out of that. Not many choices out there.

Tried Pof.com (plenty of fish) and okcupid.com and found one date out of it that lasted one day and that's it. I could tell she wasn't into me right away. I've sent plenty of messages away but no answers and hence have given up.

I was in one relationship with a woman that i met at a prior job who seemed nice at first but I could tell she was, from the fact she was cheated on so much in the past, very suspicious of any female friends I had. Hence, a relationship with her would have been impossible. I would have never cheated on her but she would have never accepted that I was honest because she was taught by past relationships to distrust men (and the fact she said she had no man friends and didn't understand how one could have friends of the opposite sex). But I'm still grateful for the months we had even so.

I think I tried match.com with no luck and Christianmingle too. But there are plenty of women I like, no doubt, but the ones I like are either a) too young, b) too old, c) already taken. I have a young 30-something woman friend who would be great for me but is taken and not in my age group. As I often say, I have loved more women than have loved me.
I feel you!

My opinion: When you know you have tried everything you possibly have to change your situation, give up and try less (put your troubles in God’s hands)
I know it is hard to do because our earthly thinking.

Accept the obvious fact that you want something bad, have tried EVERYTHING in your power to achieve your dream, and cannot deal with the daily worry and stress anymore.
This, I give up trying to control my situation, is the bedrock of where God takes the wheel and does his best work.

Anyone who has gotten in to trouble with the law, knows what I mean.
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#28
Hard to find a date. I've had two since my divorce and one relationship out of that. Not many choices out there.

Tried Pof.com (plenty of fish) and okcupid.com and found one date out of it that lasted one day and that's it. I could tell she wasn't into me right away. I've sent plenty of messages away but no answers and hence have given up.

I was in one relationship with a woman that i met at a prior job who seemed nice at first but I could tell she was, from the fact she was cheated on so much in the past, very suspicious of any female friends I had. Hence, a relationship with her would have been impossible. I would have never cheated on her but she would have never accepted that I was honest because she was taught by past relationships to distrust men (and the fact she said she had no man friends and didn't understand how one could have friends of the opposite sex). But I'm still grateful for the months we had even so.

I think I tried match.com with no luck and Christianmingle too. But there are plenty of women I like, no doubt, but the ones I like are either a) too young, b) too old, c) already taken. I have a young 30-something woman friend who would be great for me but is taken and not in my age group. As I often say, I have loved more women than have loved me.
Sometimes when we try so hard to find love...love eludes you... maybe this time try to wait just live relax and let love find you let it happen naturally... Love comes in my life when I least expect it.. i didn't even try so hard to find it 😊 it was like boom! He was there looking at me like I am the most gorgeous woman on earth 😉 God is wonderful 😇


God bless you ❤
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,101
113
#29
I've had two dates my entire life-one when I was nine. the other when I was 23.[/QUOTE

Oh wait! I forgot my lovely friend Tina! She asked me on a date after I divorced my double ex, and we had three before I moved away from Arkansas. So I've had five.
 
May 20, 2017
94
32
18
#30
I would say though that it is wise to not date someone that you would not consider marrying. Time is too precious to waste in trivial pursuits.[/QUOTE]

Would you please explain what you mean by the above....I'm a fish out of water..
 
Nov 27, 2012
55
7
8
#31
thanks all for the replies. I'll consider them. That "80% of men are considered unattractive" was an illuminating reveal.
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#32
thanks all for the replies. I'll consider them. That "80% of men are considered unattractive" was an illuminating reveal.
Hey man think of it this way the fact that you were once married means you're one of the 20%. :cool:
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#33
Hard to find a date. I've had two since my divorce and one relationship out of that. Not many choices out there.

Tried Pof.com (plenty of fish) and okcupid.com and found one date out of it that lasted one day and that's it. I could tell she wasn't into me right away. I've sent plenty of messages away but no answers and hence have given up.

I was in one relationship with a woman that i met at a prior job who seemed nice at first but I could tell she was, from the fact she was cheated on so much in the past, very suspicious of any female friends I had. Hence, a relationship with her would have been impossible. I would have never cheated on her but she would have never accepted that I was honest because she was taught by past relationships to distrust men (and the fact she said she had no man friends and didn't understand how one could have friends of the opposite sex). But I'm still grateful for the months we had even so.

I think I tried match.com with no luck and Christianmingle too. But there are plenty of women I like, no doubt, but the ones I like are either a) too young, b) too old, c) already taken. I have a young 30-something woman friend who would be great for me but is taken and not in my age group. As I often say, I have loved more women than have loved me.

You mentioned trying to meet girls at:
- Pof.com
- okcupid.com
- match.com
- Christianmingle


I know this is gonna sound REALLY CRAZY, so bear with me...
but...
ummm....
ya know...
mmmm....
just maybe...

you might try meeting girls in person.

...
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#34
You mentioned trying to meet girls at:
- Pof.com
- okcupid.com
- match.com
- Christianmingle


I know this is gonna sound REALLY CRAZY, so bear with me...
but...
ummm....
ya know...
mmmm....
just maybe...

you might try meeting girls in person.

...
My grandma used to say "don't look for men online...they are online because they cannot find girls in person that like them so they resort to online dating."
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#35
thanks all for the replies. I'll consider them. That "80% of men are considered unattractive" was an illuminating reveal.
Luckily for the human race, most of us men don't allow inconvenient facts to slow us down.

: )

...
 

Ellorah

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2019
436
679
93
31
South Carolina
#38
My birthday is next month and I will be edging closer to 30 than 20. Does this mean I will fall into a different men bracket age wise ? I kinda hope so. I like mature and grounded. The age thing doesn't bother me so much. Not yet anyway ! Be happy being with yourself serving God. Trust the rest to fall into place at his will.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,472
13,785
113
#39
My birthday is next month and I will be edging closer to 30 than 20. Does this mean I will fall into a different men bracket age wise ? I kinda hope so. I like mature and grounded. The age thing doesn't bother me so much. Not yet anyway ! Be happy being with yourself serving God. Trust the rest to fall into place at his will.
(... mumbles to self... half age plus seven...)

Assuming that you're turning 26, you will be able to date men (without shame) from 20 to 38. Or, if you don't give a flying flip what others think, you can date men from 20 to 100.
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,193
1,577
113
68
Brighton, MI
#40
Hard to find a date. I've had two since my divorce and one relationship out of that. Not many choices out there.

Tried Pof.com (plenty of fish) and okcupid.com and found one date out of it that lasted one day and that's it. I could tell she wasn't into me right away. I've sent plenty of messages away but no answers and hence have given up.

I was in one relationship with a woman that i met at a prior job who seemed nice at first but I could tell she was, from the fact she was cheated on so much in the past, very suspicious of any female friends I had. Hence, a relationship with her would have been impossible. I would have never cheated on her but she would have never accepted that I was honest because she was taught by past relationships to distrust men (and the fact she said she had no man friends and didn't understand how one could have friends of the opposite sex). But I'm still grateful for the months we had even so.

I think I tried match.com with no luck and Christianmingle too. But there are plenty of women I like, no doubt, but the ones I like are either a) too young, b) too old, c) already taken. I have a young 30-something woman friend who would be great for me but is taken and not in my age group. As I often say, I have loved more women than have loved me.
Get involved with Christian Singles or Divorce groups at your church as a servant.
When you put God's Kingdom first he brings the right one across your path.
In fact, the last five generations of my family found their mates at church.

pray for your future mates.