12 step protocol; Often while in the role of education I use the term you, we or they but when sharing from the heart we are taught to speak in the 'I' form. I never call someone an alcoholic or and addict that hasn't admitted it. It's is against the established boundaries and called "doing someone else's inventory." I had to do my own and admit to god myself and another human that an alcoholic is what I am. Further more, I believe that I will never again be able to take it or leave it like most people. Thus I will never be cured. Recovery is a lifelong process. So I never will claim to be fully recovered. What is called backsliding in Churches is called relapse in 12 step rooms.
From now on there will only be two states I can be in. recovery or relapse. I choose recovery. There is a different dialect within recovery rooms. It took a while to catch on. So I had to keep comming back till I was ready to get real with myself and admit my shortcomings. The thread CRA has had 477 posts and over 4000 views so far. Theirs plenty of info there but and we can share from the heart. Those of us who have posted there, for the most part, know many of the things you are going through. We are willing, ready and able to help, IF you are ready and willing to follow "Good Orderly Directions", and be honest and open minded. When a bad habit becomes a chronic disease certain steps have been laid out for us to follow. There's no magic pill or Genie to come out of a bottle. It won't go away. We came to realize that, we followed the directions and sought the help of God first and others who have been there. The prayer request you have made for your self would be best made by you to God, and not by us.
Put on your big girl pants, swallow your pride and admit the truth. No one can do it for you. All it takes is honesty, open mindedness and willingness, from the beginning. If you can learn those qualities you're on the way. Just suit up and show up, one day at a time...