When Dating a Single Parent, Who Is Expected to Pay?
- Thread starter seoulsearch
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T
my opinion on this is ever so slightly biased as i have a 3yr old son and virtually zero income! i think that in the beggingng stages of the dating process, single parents would be wise to leave their children behind, therefore making the situation no different to that of those without children. ie: 50/50 on the whole with the odd little treat from the guy (always appreciated!) and as time moves on and things may progress, if it feels right to introduce the child/children...
T
... then that can be done cost free! there a so many child friendly, fun activities that dont have to cost the earth, and every now and then say once a month a day out could be arranged. i think if the dating is going to develop into a relationship then the way the other person perceives this thing of cost could be the making or breaking of it. i honestly think that from the outset if money, duty and expectation (so far as who pays goes) you aint really off to a great start and it would worry me a little!
S
my thoughts on who should pay for the children. I believe that the man should pay for the most part. I am old school where the man pays I guess it was the way I was raised back when men opened the doors for their dates and paid for the movies and dinner. If i am to date someone with kids then i will take the responsibility of helping out either with the baby sitter or taking them with us.
L
Hey everyone,
I was just curious as to how people felt about who should pay on dates involving children and/or how the topic should be addressed.
I work with several single parents, and most I know prefer to see someone for several months without involving their children until it looks as if the situation has turned into a stable and committed relationship.
Assuming that future dates will also include inviting the kids, who is expected to pay if:
1. One person has children but the other does not--does the person without kids offer to pay half for everyone or pay for their date and their date's children? Will the person without kids be seen as evil if he or she only pays for him or herself? Is gender a factor? (Does it depend on who asked for the date? Should the man offer to pay for everyone, no matter what, even if he does not have kids? Or, if the woman does not have kids like myself, do I offer to pay for everyone?)
2. How about if: one person has, let's say, one child... and the other person has four--again, who pays, and how much, and does it depend on who asked for the date or gender roles? (For example, is a man expected to pay for a woman and any children involved, both his and hers?)
I know there has been much discussion here in the past over who pays for dates, but I'm not sure if these kinds of questions have been brought up (sorry if I'm repeating any recent questions in other threads... I try to keep up but generally am only able to make quick scans of the Singles Forum due to time constraints.)
Most people already know my story regarding this particular topic--I dated a man with two young children for three years several years ago--and wound up paying for everything. I am hoping to avoid that scenario again if I should ever date another parent.
AND, I am most certainly NOT saying in ANY way that all single parents are like this--I had an unfortunate experience and made a few bad choices of my own.
I'm just wondering what better ways could be taken to approach future situations such as this, if they should present themselves.
I'd really appreciate any and all feedback, even from those who don't have kids or have never dated anyone with kids--thoughts, experiences, or "Well, I haven't experienced this yet but if I did, this is what I think I'd do" comments are always welcome.
I was just curious as to how people felt about who should pay on dates involving children and/or how the topic should be addressed.
I work with several single parents, and most I know prefer to see someone for several months without involving their children until it looks as if the situation has turned into a stable and committed relationship.
Assuming that future dates will also include inviting the kids, who is expected to pay if:
1. One person has children but the other does not--does the person without kids offer to pay half for everyone or pay for their date and their date's children? Will the person without kids be seen as evil if he or she only pays for him or herself? Is gender a factor? (Does it depend on who asked for the date? Should the man offer to pay for everyone, no matter what, even if he does not have kids? Or, if the woman does not have kids like myself, do I offer to pay for everyone?)
2. How about if: one person has, let's say, one child... and the other person has four--again, who pays, and how much, and does it depend on who asked for the date or gender roles? (For example, is a man expected to pay for a woman and any children involved, both his and hers?)
I know there has been much discussion here in the past over who pays for dates, but I'm not sure if these kinds of questions have been brought up (sorry if I'm repeating any recent questions in other threads... I try to keep up but generally am only able to make quick scans of the Singles Forum due to time constraints.)
Most people already know my story regarding this particular topic--I dated a man with two young children for three years several years ago--and wound up paying for everything. I am hoping to avoid that scenario again if I should ever date another parent.
AND, I am most certainly NOT saying in ANY way that all single parents are like this--I had an unfortunate experience and made a few bad choices of my own.
I'm just wondering what better ways could be taken to approach future situations such as this, if they should present themselves.
I'd really appreciate any and all feedback, even from those who don't have kids or have never dated anyone with kids--thoughts, experiences, or "Well, I haven't experienced this yet but if I did, this is what I think I'd do" comments are always welcome.