Would you turn someone down because of where they work?

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

At 8 am this morning i get a text message from one of my friends, all it said was HE WORKS AT HARDEES!!! For any of you crazies who dont know, hardees is a fast food place.

She's been obsessing over this guy for months now, and all i have heard about is Eric this and Eric that. He finally aks her out, she finds out he works at Hardees and BAM, the whole thing is off now. My friend Liz is a 3rd grade teacher, so shes got a pretty good job. One thing she said that really stuck with me is she would be embarassed to bring him around her family and friends an have to tell them where he worked. You could use the arguement, well she doesnt necessarily have to tell them, but come on people are gonna find out one way or another.

Do you consider that shallow??

Would you base weather or not you dated someone on where they worked??

I mean what if this person was truly happy with his or her job. What if it was like their dream to be a waitor/waitress , Garbage truck driver, Janitor, cashier at Wal-mart.

Does that say about the person, they must not have any ambitions if there however old and working at a place like that??

I'd love to hear all your thoughts and opinions on this one.

 

[ChristianTeen]

I wouldn't ever base my decision on where the person works. I know some really awesome people who have 'lower-class' jobs but they are proud of them and truly enjoy them. Lol, I kind-of have one at a nursing home because I do a lot of the 'dirty work'. And I know a great guy who works at Hardees. At least he has a job. To me, it doesn't matter what the job is as long as they can hold one down, or as long as they are seriously looking for one. But that's only my opinion..

 

[grace]

Couple of things, You can't judge a book by its cover. There could be any of many reasons he has that as a job now. To jump to conclusions would not be fair.

Secondly, last person I dated worked at a petrol station. It was not well received by my friends. They TOTALLY looked at it like no ambition, *loser*, he would not be able to provide for a woman and three children.
Never once did they ask why he worked there, or what he did there. He could have owned the place for all they knew (he did'nt btw)...but they shut down as soon as they heart *petrol station*.

Its always best to see the whole picture, rather than a small portion of it. There could ALWAYS be extenuating circumstances.

Or, they could be right, and he is guy who lacks ambition etc......but always best to find out.

To say yes or no to whether I think this is shallow or not, yes, from the scenerio you decribed, I would say that is shallow.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I've heard of Hardees and wish they had them here so I can try them out. I certainly wouldn't count a woman out because of where she worked. If anyone said anything about it, I'd defend her and I wouldn't care what anyone else thought.

 

[seoulsearch]

GREAT question, Nod.

I can understand how it would bother people, especially as they get older... I have NO room to talk though, seeing as I work in a grocery store!!

And my dad worked as a bagger starting out, so... It would really be more about the person than where he worked. My parents help people with debt consolidation and getting back on track with their finances--they've worked with people who made $400,000 a year and were in a financial wreck, refusing the change their lifestyle, and then they've worked with people who made $20,000 a year, are willing to take extra jobs, pay off their debts, and learn how to live debt-free.

I'd much rather be with someone who knows how to be responsible and may work at a so-called "low end" job than someone with a high-rolling job who doesn't know how to manage what he makes.

And, the Bible says that the person who can be trusted with little, proving their faithfulness and diligence, can be trusted with much.

 

[lightbliss]

At least he has a job...

 

[talitha]

think it depends on the job! instinct and common sense tells me that the job doesnt make the person and cash flow is not the be all and end all.. but it also tells me that if it was a job such as stripping, topless waitering, or table dancing, id say yes it does matter haha x

 

[Liamson]

think it depends on the job! instinct and common sense tells me that the job doesnt make the person and cash flow is not the be all and end all.. but it also tells me that if it was a job such as stripping, topless waitering, or table dancing, id say yes it does matter haha x

That is kind of where I thought this thread was going but, I stuck with it just to make sure.

I have worked so many places doing so many things that if a girl didn't like me because I worked at a gas station or Hardees/Carl's Jr, then she is not worth my time. Somewhere in wedding vows it talks about for richer or poorer....

My next job is probably going to be pretty silly but, thats life and I don't mind. I've been very blessed to have some pretty spectacular jobs, if for a season I wind up wiping old people's butts at the Nursing home, I would hope that whoever I am interested in is capable of understanding.

Oh and right now, probably because I'm hungry, I would love to work at Hardees/Carl's Jr.

Carl's is like the west Coast version of Hardees. They have similar menus and the same star.

 

[Jenesis]

He makes an honest living. Yes it is shallow.

 

[NukePooch]

If he's a fry cook at Hardly's, he probably makes slightly less than I do, and yes, she's very shallow.
If he's a manager at Hardly's, then he probably makes almost as much as she does, and she's still shallow.

I used to work at Hardly's...I could really go for a Six Dollar Burger right about now.

I knew someone who graduated from college and became manager of the same Arby's that put him through school. He's not using his degree (Recording Industry Degree), but he's got a great job, with great benefits.

 

[jangel]

It doesn't matter as long as it's a noble job.

But I can't take people who doesn't have ingenuity in life.

 

[buckeyegirl700]

I wouldn't judge someone based on their job. I wouldn't date a man that didn't have a job (unless he was unable to work due to a disability). I think it would be kinda shallow because you never know they may be just taking the job until something better comes along. Where I live there are more people than jobs. My friend had a bachelors degree and was still working as a waitress because she couldn't find a teaching job in our area. She continued with her Masters and then was able to land a job as a teacher.

 

[Jullianna]

First, I love Hardee's breakfast biscuits.

Secondly, assumptions are dangerous. Who knows? He could have been downsized/laid off/a recent college grad who's having trouble finding a job in his field/a student/learning a new skill/waiting on a license in his field/etc. The job market is tough right now and a lot of people are in transition.

Thirdly, my parents always said there's no shame in any job for which you earn an HONEST day's pay. I work with people everyday who make 6 figure salaries, some even 7 figures. I know that in younger days they cleaned houses, delivered meds for a pharmacy, worked as bartenders, etc. Everyone starts somewhere.

 

[NukePooch]

I work with people everyday who make 6 figure salaries, some even 7 figures.

I'll FedEx you some 5X7's of me with some stats to hand out to those people. Hmmm...best be the pics of me in the tux.

 

[Credo_ut_Intelligam]

As an underwater basket-weaver, this is a sensitive area for me.

First, it depends on the person's sex. A guy is much less likely to care what the girl does for a living, as long as she's hot. But for a girl it's usually a bigger deal.

Second, it depends on the person's age. Of course no 19 or 20 year-ish girl is going to care that a guy works at Hardees. What else could a guy that age be doing? CEO of Microsoft? But ten years later could make a huge difference in how much it matters where the person works.

Third, imagining what matters to you in a hypothetical situation and then actually being faced with the situation are two totally different things. Choices look easier when we aren't actually making them. It's like telling yourself (and actually believing it) that you're going to be brave when going through that haunted house, because you know it's all fake, and then you scream like a girl the whole way through. What I mean is, I find it implausible that people who say it doesn't make a difference really wouldn't weigh that issue when faced with the situation.

 

[Liamson]

As an underwater basket-weaver, this is a sensitive area for me.

First, it depends on the person's sex. A guy is much less likely to care what the girl does for a living, as long as she's hot. But for a girl it's usually a bigger deal.

Second, it depends on the person's age. Of course no 19 or 20 year-ish girl is going to care that a guy works at Hardees. What else could a guy that age be doing? CEO of Microsoft? But ten years later could make a huge difference in how much it matters where the person works.

Third, imagining what matters to you in a hypothetical situation and then actually being faced with the situation are two totally different things. Choices look easier when we aren't actually making them. It's like telling yourself (and actually believing it) that you're going to be brave when going through that haunted house, because you know it's all fake, and then you scream like a girl the whole way through. What I mean is, I find it implausible that people who say it doesn't make a difference really wouldn't weigh that issue when faced with the situation.

Interesting.

I will say this much though, a job may not subtract from a person but, there are jobs that make a person more attractive. Think Baywatch.

 

[thimsrebma]

I'll be the honest woman like always. Everyone probably already thinks Im a money grubber because of some of my other posts but here goes anyway.

YES it matters. Personally I want someone who thinks education is just as important as I do. I want someone with ambition and works hard. I want a man who wants to support me and the family. I also would prefer to stay home when we have children. A man working at Hardees cannot take care of himself, a wife and 3 kids.

Now some may make the argument that maybe when the time came then he would do something else to further his career. But I think if it isn't important to him now then you cannot expect him to change later.

Others may try to say that no job is completely secure and that a pay cut or job loss could happen to anyone. Yes that is true. But you should still plan for the future.

Now there are a few exceptions for the fast food thing. If the person is currently in school, that may be overlooked, If they had a career and were layed off and this is temp employment, or if they have other sources of income and just like working at Hardees.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'll be the honest woman like always. Everyone probably already thinks Im a money grubber because of some of my other posts but here goes anyway.

YES it matters. Personally I want someone who thinks education is just as important as I do. I want someone with ambition and works hard. I want a man who wants to support me and the family. I also would prefer to stay home when we have children. A man working at Hardees cannot take care of himself, a wife and 3 kids.

Now some may make the argument that maybe when the time came then he would do something else to further his career. But I think if it isn't important to him now then you cannot expect him to change later.

Others may try to say that no job is completely secure and that a pay cut or job loss could happen to anyone. Yes that is true. But you should still plan for the future.

Now there are a few exceptions for the fast food thing. If the person is currently in school, that may be overlooked, If they had a career and were layed off and this is temp employment, or if they have other sources of income and just like working at Hardees.

Hi Thimsrebma,

I really enjoy your posts and love your sense of humor! However, I must state that while I DO agree that education can be very important, there are always exceptions (I know you said this but I wanted to give some examples), as well as other places of education besides the world's institutions of learning.

I think it's important to never underestimate God's blessing on earnest work, as well as on-the-job-training. (I was reading the story of Jesus feeding thousands of people with only a few loaves and fish--this seemed very fitting--in fact, my brother's email address is Fishes2Loaves...) God loves to use simple things to show His glory.

Yes, some are called to positions that require years of college education--I completely respect that. But I come from a family of very simple, everyday workers whom God enabled to do wonderful things.

My Dad worked in a grocery store; my brother never finished college but started out working at a Walmart-like store in this area; my other brother works at an electronics store--although he recently finished a business degree, he certainly didn't need it to get his current job. All the women in my family worked until they had kids--from then on, they were or are stay-at home Mom's. And my parents were able to retire at the age of 50 and are now able to do the ministry they love.

I actually have the highest level of education in my family--I was a year away from a Master's in psych but left because of personal reasons. I now have a job making the least amount of money of anyone in my family, but I'm so much happier. I realize a lawyer, doctor, or teacher would probably see me as a failure, but God has been so faithful. With very careful management and through God alone, I own everything I have and am completely debt-free--way, WAY ahead of the schedule I set for myself.

Now, there's nothing wrong with this if it's God-led, of course, but many people with big jobs and careers have BIG debts. What if that person with the big job, nice car, beautiful house, and is "going somewhere" in life has a accumulated debt of $150,000 or more? It's certainly not uncommon, especially with student loans. Contrast that with my brother, who lived at home, worked two jobs, and when he married at 26, they were able to buy their first home. In cash. And, his wife is now a stay-at-home mom of two kids.

Neither situation is necessarily better than the other, but each one definitely has pros and cons.

We each have our own calling. After all, Jesus was highly criticized because some of his closest followers, such as Peter and Andrew, were uneducated fisherman, but look at where God's blessing took them. Look at where WE would all be if God required us to have a certain education or job in order to follow Him! It might not make sense in the natural, but God specializes in supernatural things.

I just think it's important to keep an open mind--we might miss the person God has for us because of our preconceived ideas of how or what a person has to be, what they have to have, or how educated they need to be... in order to be the "right one" for us.

God often has something very different in mind for us than we do. I try to remind myself of that everyday!

 

[Stuey]

Do not store up for yourself riches on earth where moth and rust destroy. Instead store up riches in Heaven.

Yes, I think she is being shallow. However, often a job says something about a person and I'm not talking about ambition or wealth. Ambition not for the lord can be foolish and so can be the quest for security and wealth. Not always of course, it depends on your motivations.

 

[seoulsearch]

rI also wanted to add that I have a boss whose son just completed a program in aviation and his son's fiancee is almost finished with the same program.

The bill for their education is approximately $250,000--EACH. My boss was telling me that for many of the classes they've had to take, there is no government or student aid available--it's a cost you take on entirely on your own. And his son can't find a job as a pilot because he "doesn't have enough experience." He's found a job, but not in what he was looking for and for far less than he had hoped to make.

Maybe it's just me, but I cannot imagine being under 25 years old, marrying, and having a HALF A MILLION DOLLAR debt JUST for education alone. That doesn't include a house, cars, etc. Can you imagine what it's going to be if they buy a house (and the area where they're in, to find jobs, isn't cheap) and/or need to buy cars? Or food, or anything else for that matter... Now, if they love their careers and do well and it's what God has for them, that's wonderful.

But for me, personally, I can't imagine getting married and having that amount of debt on my back right off the bat--you no longer own your life--the amount you owe and the people you owe it to now own a good portion, if not all, of what you will do with your life.

I'm not saying we can't follow our dreams because of cost--God wouldn't want us to weigh that first if He's calling us do to something--but, I DO think we need to consider our choices very carefully--especially when looking at what another person might do for a living. You never know what could happen--that guy making $9 an hour may have a very blessed, debt-free life... and may work his way up to running three stores, whereas the person with the big career may be a slave to the debt of his education for the rest of his life.