Would you turn someone down because of where they work?

[zeroturbulence]

rI also wanted to add that I have a boss whose son just completed a program in aviation and his son's fiancee is almost finished with the same program.

The bill for their education is approximately $250,000--EACH. My boss was telling me that for many of the classes they've had to take, there is no government or student aid available--it's a cost you take on entirely on your own. And his son can't find a job as a pilot because he "doesn't have enough experience." He's found a job, but not in what he was looking for and for far less than he had hoped to make.

Maybe it's just me, but I cannot imagine being under 25 years old, marrying, and having a HALF A MILLION DOLLAR debt JUST for education alone. That doesn't include a house, cars, etc. Can you imagine what it's going to be if they buy a house (and the area where they're in, to find jobs, isn't cheap) and/or need to buy cars? Or food, or anything else for that matter... Now, if they love their careers and do well and it's what God has for them, that's wonderful.

But for me, personally, I can't imagine getting married and having that amount of debt on my back right off the bat--you no longer own your life--the amount you owe and the people you owe it to now own a good portion, if not all, of what you will do with your life.

I'm not saying we can't follow our dreams because of cost--God wouldn't want us to weigh that first if He's calling us do to something--but, I DO think we need to consider our choices very carefully--especially when looking at what another person might do for a living. You never know what could happen--that guy making $9 an hour may have a very blessed, debt-free life... and may work his way up to running three stores, whereas the person with the big career may be a slave to the debt of his education for the rest of his life.

Wow that is way too high for flight training. It probably included a Bachelor's degree because there are flight universities that offer that, but still with that tuition they could have easily gotten a master's degree in a good university. I looked into becoming a pilot before and the typical route is for a student pilot is to get their Private, Commercial, then CFI (flight instructor) licenses, which should take less than a year and maybe $25,000 or so, then build time as a flight instructor until you log about 1500 hours then get a job at a small freight company delivering freight in small single and double engine planes (and getting your multi-engine rating while your at it). Then once you've built enough multi-engine time you will have enough to apply for an airline job. All in all it will probably cost around $50,000 for all the training (including instrument ratings) and it will take a few years. The other route, but harder to get into is to get your training in the military, but few get to become pilots in the military.

The ones with money to burn go to these accelerated programs which get you all the ratings from private to ATP (airline transport pilot) in about a year or so. Those almost guarantee a job with an airline because they are run by the small express airlines. Those pilots are flying planes full of passengers right out of flight school!

 

[thimsrebma]

Hi Thimsrebma,

I really enjoy your posts and love your sense of humor! However, I must state that while I DO agree that education can be very important, there are always exceptions (I know you said this but I wanted to give some examples), as well as other places of education besides the world's institutions of learning.

I think it's important to never underestimate God's blessing on earnest work, as well as on-the-job-training. (I was reading the story of Jesus feeding thousands of people with only a few loaves and fish--this seemed very fitting--in fact, my brother's email address is Fishes2Loaves...) God loves to use simple things to show His glory.

Yes, some are called to positions that require years of college education--I completely respect that. But I come from a family of very simple, everyday workers whom God enabled to do wonderful things.

My Dad worked in a grocery store; my brother never finished college but started out working at a Walmart-like store in this area; my other brother works at an electronics store--although he recently finished a business degree, he certainly didn't need it to get his current job. All the women in my family worked until they had kids--from then on, they were or are stay-at home Mom's. And my parents were able to retire at the age of 50 and are now able to do the ministry they love.

I actually have the highest level of education in my family--I was a year away from a Master's in psych but left because of personal reasons. I now have a job making the least amount of money of anyone in my family, but I'm so much happier. I realize a lawyer, doctor, or teacher would probably see me as a failure, but God has been so faithful. With very careful management and through God alone, I own everything I have and am completely debt-free--way, WAY ahead of the schedule I set for myself.

Now, there's nothing wrong with this if it's God-led, of course, but many people with big jobs and careers have BIG debts. What if that person with the big job, nice car, beautiful house, and is "going somewhere" in life has a accumulated debt of $150,000 or more? It's certainly not uncommon, especially with student loans. Contrast that with my brother, who lived at home, worked two jobs, and when he married at 26, they were able to buy their first home. In cash. And, his wife is now a stay-at-home mom of two kids.

Neither situation is necessarily better than the other, but each one definitely has pros and cons.

We each have our own calling. After all, Jesus was highly criticized because some of his closest followers, such as Peter and Andrew, were uneducated fisherman, but look at where God's blessing took them. Look at where WE would all be if God required us to have a certain education or job in order to follow Him! It might not make sense in the natural, but God specializes in supernatural things.

I just think it's important to keep an open mind--we might miss the person God has for us because of our preconceived ideas of how or what a person has to be, what they have to have, or how educated they need to be... in order to be the "right one" for us.

God often has something very different in mind for us than we do. I try to remind myself of that everyday!

Thanks for your response. I do believe that you can have career success with out having a Masters or Doctorate, some kind of skilled training would be equally as important to me as well. With very little little education or skilled training there are limited jobs you can get. Most of the ones you can get are hard labor and many of those people end up unhappy.

I want someone who has put in the kind of hard work I put in. I went to college wjile working, at some point worked 3 jobs, kept good grades to maintain an academic scholarship. Now yes, I have some student loan debt, but I still am able to do the things I need to do and other things as well. Not to mention the things I learned and people I met while I was getting an education and working in all those different fields.

I have noticed people that I know from high school or middle school that did not go to university or enter some kind of skilled trade are not doing much with their lives now. They may have a few children but thats it. You talk to them and you can see where their education has stopped, and no not just formal education. We get education by doing daily activites or simply living. So the life training you get is huge, influenced by where you work. Full time employment in America is generally 36+hrs a week. Thats a lot of time to spend in one place with a group of people. I you are constantly surrounded by others who have no education and not so many dreams they are actually persuing, that can effect you too.

I am NOT saying that a job determines your worth, but the type of work you choose says something about your personality and how hard you work says something about your character.

 

[thimsrebma]

Do not store up for yourself riches on earth where moth and rust destroy. Instead store up riches in Heaven.

Yes, I think she is being shallow. However, often a job says something about a person and I'm not talking about ambition or wealth. Ambition not for the lord can be foolish and so can be the quest for security and wealth. Not always of course, it depends on your motivations.

As a fellow teacher I will defend the lady. It is not about being rich, it is about being able to survive not living on welfare. When you go to college and earn a degree and work hard teaching children everyday you want someone who has respect for the hard work you have done to get there, respect for what you currently do everyday.

I think people can sometimes take scripture about wealth out of context. If yiou are trying to become wealthy so that you can have all the nicest cars or a big empty house then maybe that is not very Godly, but if you want a middle income so you can eat and buy a house and not live off the system than nothing is wrong with that.

 

[Liamson]

Wow that is way too high for flight training. It probably included a Bachelor's degree because there are flight universities that offer that, but still with that tuition they could have easily gotten a master's degree in a good university. I looked into becoming a pilot before and the typical route is for a student pilot is to get their Private, Commercial, then CFI (flight instructor) licenses, which should take less than a year and maybe $25,000 or so, then build time as a flight instructor until you log about 1500 hours then get a job at a small freight company delivering freight in small single and double engine planes (and getting your multi-engine rating while your at it). Then once you've built enough multi-engine time you will have enough to apply for an airline job. All in all it will probably cost around $50,000 for all the training (including instrument ratings) and it will take a few years. The other route, but harder to get into is to get your training in the military, but few get to become pilots in the military.

The ones with money to burn go to these accelerated programs which get you all the ratings from private to ATP (airline transport pilot) in about a year or so. Those almost guarantee a job with an airline because they are run by the small express airlines. Those pilots are flying planes full of passengers right out of flight school!

Well, as a person going through Helicopter flight school I can attest to the cost. Its all paid for by my GI bill but its going to be about 35-50k which isn't bad but, I do have to pay for the private License out of pocket. Getting the necessary instrument proficiency rating through flight hours is the biggest cost for me.

But like you said, its only going to take about a year. After we get done with the classroom portion.

 

[Liamson]

But in the mean time, you may find me working just about any job I can =)

It may not involve a top secret security clearance, a fat bonus or loads of travel but, it pays the bills.

 

[seoulsearch]

I have noticed people that I know from high school or middle school that did not go to university or enter some kind of skilled trade are not doing much with their lives now. They may have a few children but thats it.

For some people, "having a few children and that's it" IS what God has called the to do.

Kudos to all the people who are going after the big jobs... and kudos to the housewives who are called to do so as well. For some people, raising their kids IS their big career... and some people do both, and that's fine.

God calls us each to different plans and purposes.

 

[thimsrebma]

For some people, "having a few children and that's it" IS what God has called the to do.

Kudos to all the people who are going after the big jobs... and kudos to the housewives who are called to do so as well. For some people, raising their kids IS their big career... and some people do both, and that's fine.

God calls us each to different plans and purposes.

No I understand that, wanting to be a housefife because thats what I want as well. But when I said that I mean just having kids. Thats it. Nothing else. No church, no hobbies no activities, no nothing. Just a dead end job, if a job at all and few kids.

I do not think God has called anyone to sit around and procreate out of wed lock and contribute nothing to society.

 

[Pheonix]

I've got an even better question. What if that persons dream is to own one of those fast food places, and he is simply working at the place to learn everything there is to know?

 

[Jullianna]

I'll FedEx you some 5X7's of me with some stats to hand out to those people. Hmmm...best be the pics of me in the tux.

That's a great picture Most of those people are guys tho

 

[Jullianna]

I'll be the honest woman like always. Everyone probably already thinks Im a money grubber because of some of my other posts but here goes anyway.

YES it matters. Personally I want someone who thinks education is just as important as I do. I want someone with ambition and works hard. I want a man who wants to support me and the family. I also would prefer to stay home when we have children. A man working at Hardees cannot take care of himself, a wife and 3 kids.

Now some may make the argument that maybe when the time came then he would do something else to further his career. But I think if it isn't important to him now then you cannot expect him to change later.

Others may try to say that no job is completely secure and that a pay cut or job loss could happen to anyone. Yes that is true. But you should still plan for the future.

Now there are a few exceptions for the fast food thing. If the person is currently in school, that may be overlooked, If they had a career and were layed off and this is temp employment, or if they have other sources of income and just like working at Hardees.

I, too, enjoy reading your posts, but some of us are at different points in our lives and careers, and this will have an effect upon our opinions regarding the need for the man of the house to be the major or sole breadwinner.
I also agree with seoulsearch in that not everyone desires to/can go to college and, even if they do/can, circumstances may not allow it. The guys won't always agree and neither will the ladies. I don't think that makes anyone dishonest.

 

[Matthew]

Do you consider that shallow??

Would you base weather or not you dated someone on where they worked??

I mean what if this person was truly happy with his or her job. What if it was like their dream to be a waitor/waitress , Garbage truck driver, Janitor, cashier at Wal-mart.

Does that say about the person, they must not have any ambitions if there however old and working at a place like that??

I'd love to hear all your thoughts and opinions on this one.

I wouldn't persoanlly because you can't know how something like job choice/type will affcet a relationship until you try and have one......the rest is all an assumption often based on first impressions, which are not to be trusted.

The fact is not all people define themselves by a career, some value other things and a job is just a way too survive, others need a career to be the primary purpose in their lives.
It's been my experience that those two attitudes rarely blend successfully because the career driven person sees the other as lacking ambition and on the other side it seems like a career driven person is putting too much focus on one thing and neglecting all the rest.

I thinik it's seriosuly poor form to cancel a date solely on that information, it would be fair and in your own interest if you feel a strong attraction to go on one date and at least find out what the reason is or if there are plans in the future to get out of that line of work etc... to me it comes back to people wanting a ready made partner and not being prepared to work toward the middle and a balanced relationship.

It is misguided to believe that someone working a menial/repetetive low skill job cannot support a family, some of those jobs pay well and the repetetive nature of the work means they aren't jobs that will likely disappear in a crunch etc....in that respect it's no worse than any other type of employment.

You said your friend was embarassed, that's probably honest and the rest is just excuses, given she made a date I think it is shallow, she might have found several things that would have made her proud to tell her family, but she won't find out now.

 

[thimsrebma]

I, too, enjoy reading your posts, but some of us are at different points in our lives and careers, and this will have an effect upon our opinions regarding the need for the man of the house to be the major or sole breadwinner.
I also agree with seoulsearch in that not everyone desires to/can go to college and, even if they do/can, circumstances may not allow it. The guys won't always agree and neither will the ladies. I don't think that makes anyone dishonest.

I agree. Thats kind of my point. I do not think that Nod's friend was being shallow. She is at a point in her life where she has certain standards for her mate. To me these things seem reasonable, and why she she be called shallow?

 

[just_ed]

on the flip side, i would prefer not to be with someone who made significantly more money than i did. like, over $15,000 a year more. i wouldn't rule it out, but i would probably feel rather weird about it. i have a need to be a breadwinner and all that stuff.

 

[Jullianna]

I can see how that might make a guy uncomfortable, but it does seem a shame for it to be a deal breaker. I'm smiling as I type right now because I'm having visions of a guy asking me to bring my tax returns on a first date.

Besides, ed, I would imagine you have all sorts of women fawning all over you because of that cape alone.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Well, as a person going through Helicopter flight school I can attest to the cost. Its all paid for by my GI bill but its going to be about 35-50k which isn't bad but, I do have to pay for the private License out of pocket. Getting the necessary instrument proficiency rating through flight hours is the biggest cost for me.

But like you said, its only going to take about a year. After we get done with the classroom portion.

Oh man rotary wing is an excellent decision! I wanted to do that too but developed this nerve damage which causes me to lose feeling in my fingers sometimes. Not that I could afford it anyway. Fixed wing actually cost about a third less or so, but helicopters are much better in terms of working conditions and salary. Heli pilots make great starting salaries compared to new airline pilots who don't make much more than someone flipping burgers. Plus you'll never be too far from home flying helicopters. I actually met a retired 767 pilot who flew for united and he was also a helicopter pilot and was in the process of buying a small helicopter to start his own business flying people to and fro. He said becoming a helicopter pilot is clearly the better choice for someone starting out. In fact he doesn't recommend trying to become an airline pilot these days because the industry is really hurting.

So how far along are you in your training?

 

[Liamson]

Classroom portion is complete. I can't really do anything else until I purchase my Private License.

 

[Robert1857]

No, as long as the work they were involved in didn't contradict the type of life I'd like to live.

In other words, I wouldn't date a bartender though. Or a casino worker.

 

[Liamson]

No, as long as the work they were involved in didn't contradict the type of life I'd like to live.

In other words, I wouldn't date a bartender though. Or a casino worker.

Very Good Point. Yeah Ethics and Morality can be a hang-up.

I suppose that would also mean I would never date a Lawyer, or a Day Trader, or a Kardashian.


...there is a joke to made in there somewhere.

 

[mac6375]

Simply put, if she turned him down just because of where he works without knowing his reasons, she is definitely shallow. I know for me, I'm 22 and haven't been able to get a job for 3 1/2 years, mostly because as time went by, the employers saw how long I was out of work and they refused to hire me. I finally just got a seasonal job at Home Depot which I start Saturday. It may not be much, in fact it's probably the lowest position there, but these days, a job is a job. If it doesn't contradict your morals and ethics, then you should never turn someone down because of where they work.

 

[NandehRu]

there are always exemptions in every situations but basing on your story, yes it is SHALLOw. it doesn't matter much if he works at hardees, at least he is working than just being " looks cool, looks great ask momma money attitude" (lazy) lol At least i am sure that in rainy seasons he can lay down his pride and i know he will survive . Our market is rough right now worst here in our place. what will he do, wait and wait until he gets hired for a "high class job" and end up broke? how about his daily expenses...credit card? no way!:s lol spending before earning let's get practical Yes, it's a plus if a man has good and stable job, really it is but to turn him down because of a "low class job" he has that is not nice ..sad . As long as his job falls under moral . still a wow ^_^*

-big things starts from humble beginnings♥