I can't imagine why I would be angry at your line of questioning.
Just so you know I always assume the best from my Christian brothers and sisters.
And just answer your question, yes those would be stereotypically women's issues, but the OP is a woman. If it were a man I might use words like controlling dismissive indifferent condescending insensitive and harsh because they are stereotypical of men.
I suppose I do see your point there, but I think many times it's those very stereotypes that cause couples to have relationship issues. For instance, my husband was raised by his mother. So where many men would clam up and not talk, my husband talks when there is an issue. Where many men see the man as the total boss,my husband wants to know what I think and what to do about a situation. A lot of times these stereotypes we've been taught don't necessarily apply.
But let's not forget my purpose in responding to the post. Something that I would do concerning anyone that I sought to advise in relationship situations, and that is self-examination. This is why I say self-examination is key, because a person cannot change the way that somebody else acts. All we can do is examine ourselves and determine how we contribute to the problem. If we can understand how we contribute or exacerbate a problem and we can correct ourselves, it is very possible that it might elicit some change in the other person.
It may,but as another poster said, we have free will. It takes two for a marriage and often times one partner wants help and the other doesn't. You can't force someone else, as you said.
I've been married for 23 years and I am happily married and my wife is very happy to be with me, but I cannot say that it has always been this way. We went through some very tough stuff and there were things that she needed to change and there were things that I needed to change, but I could not change the things that she needed to change I could only change the things that I needed to change. When I began to change the things that needed to be changed in my life my reactions my way of handling things then she began to change as well because toxic behavior is cyclical and you can only break the cycle by breaking it from your side. she didn't begin to change because she saw something miraculous and me. She began to change because on my end I did not do the abrasive things that perpetuated the cycle. Thus she felt no need to to become defensive and retaliatory. Just like that the cycle was broken. Because by the power of the Holy Spirit I chose to self correct. Now do I do it perfectly? No. Does she do it perfectly? No. but we have broken the cycle to the point that our arguments do not spiral into chaos as they did.
It seems you were both mature about it and made the needed changes. It's too bad everyone couldn't see that and do the same. I have an uncle who was married and they ran into trouble. He wanted to go for help but she worked in a high position in the church district and didn't want people finding out they had issues. Things got worse and when he was ready to walk away she said she was willing to go for help. He said he was no longer in love with her and it was over. They divorced not long after. Pity that people can't get on the same page.