Why is saying "I'm sorry" not enough?
- Thread starter BibleloverBill
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there are bully theologian "Christians" in this site. More than in Facebook. Christian Bullies
Rosa A. Hopkins
Yesterday at 6:00 AM ·
Christian bullies take everybody’s energy. They add a weight to what you’re already going through. They'll claim to just be speaking truth but are as a clanging gong or a crashing cymbal. They are lacking in love.
Their theology does not bring you life. They act like judge and jury and do not consider the facts. They are judgmental, and they are harsh toward the hurting. They do not celebrate your wins but rejoice over your failures, making you feel like you are possibly crazy.
They are like the friends of Job.
They perpetually miss the point and belabor details that do not matter. They misunderstand, seemingly, on purpose, and it drains you. They maintain the status quo and do not help foster a sense of accountability.
They shame the abused.
They claim positivity whilst being the most negative people you know. They are the tone police. They may outwardly follow God, but they lack love and have hard hearts. They minimize what you’re going through while also negating your right to feel as you do. They pick at gnats and swallow camels.
What is forgivable in others is inexcusable in you. They emphasize your flaws while glossing over the wrongdoing of others. What is the worst, though, is how they couch all of it is theology dressing it in robes of piety, casting you as the villain, your worst crime being that you got hurt.
For them, not reflecting shiny happiness is a great sin.
You exist to keep them comfortable not to point out where the system is broken. Their emotional regularity is thrown off by your tears, and you are of great irritation to them. They doubt what really happened to you. They make you feel crazy for experiencing the emotions you’re having. They claim so-and-so is really an upstanding citizen.
They don’t truly care about your well being but about their own. They’ll use scripture as a weapon, causing you to feel defensive. You’ll wonder why you feel triggered when hearing the word of God when you once loved it so. Like Pavlov’s dog, they’re infusing you with a trained response.
They are toxic, and there is truly nothing better than to walk away. You see that Jesus did not argue with Pharisees, and they found fault with every single thing that He did.
Even at the cross, they were still there taunting Him. This person is not your friend and the sooner you realize this the better. They will demolish your hopes and dreams and squelch them with their words, strangling the life out of them. Your faith will become dry and barren, a wasteland of sun-bleached bones and tumbleweeds.
Pride and egocentricism are at the heart of this behavior. Love is nowhere to be found.
And what is most unfortunate is that we are known for this outside our walls. The world knows. We aren’t fooling them, and they won’t look the other way.
Christian bullies will make you feel guilty but feel none of that same emotion for tearing down a brother or a sister without cause.
You stay because you care, but they have no problem with maligning you with no evidence. They accuse you with no reason to do so while using your own hurt feelings as leverage against you.
You are moved with compassion over the bully, but I can assure you that he or she does not feel the same about you. Unfortunately, Christian bullies are in our midst, whitewashed tombs that look good on the outside but are filled with skeletal remains on the inside.
Jesus died to take that from you, as He came to give you life and life more abundant.The enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, so let the ashes go back to ashes and kick the dust from your shoes as you leave the bullies who are in Christian in name only behind you. You’ve got too much living to do.
Don't engage with death.
Stay Gutsy,
Rosa
Rosa A. Hopkins
Yesterday at 6:00 AM ·
Christian bullies take everybody’s energy. They add a weight to what you’re already going through. They'll claim to just be speaking truth but are as a clanging gong or a crashing cymbal. They are lacking in love.
Their theology does not bring you life. They act like judge and jury and do not consider the facts. They are judgmental, and they are harsh toward the hurting. They do not celebrate your wins but rejoice over your failures, making you feel like you are possibly crazy.
They are like the friends of Job.
They perpetually miss the point and belabor details that do not matter. They misunderstand, seemingly, on purpose, and it drains you. They maintain the status quo and do not help foster a sense of accountability.
They shame the abused.
They claim positivity whilst being the most negative people you know. They are the tone police. They may outwardly follow God, but they lack love and have hard hearts. They minimize what you’re going through while also negating your right to feel as you do. They pick at gnats and swallow camels.
What is forgivable in others is inexcusable in you. They emphasize your flaws while glossing over the wrongdoing of others. What is the worst, though, is how they couch all of it is theology dressing it in robes of piety, casting you as the villain, your worst crime being that you got hurt.
For them, not reflecting shiny happiness is a great sin.
You exist to keep them comfortable not to point out where the system is broken. Their emotional regularity is thrown off by your tears, and you are of great irritation to them. They doubt what really happened to you. They make you feel crazy for experiencing the emotions you’re having. They claim so-and-so is really an upstanding citizen.
They don’t truly care about your well being but about their own. They’ll use scripture as a weapon, causing you to feel defensive. You’ll wonder why you feel triggered when hearing the word of God when you once loved it so. Like Pavlov’s dog, they’re infusing you with a trained response.
They are toxic, and there is truly nothing better than to walk away. You see that Jesus did not argue with Pharisees, and they found fault with every single thing that He did.
Even at the cross, they were still there taunting Him. This person is not your friend and the sooner you realize this the better. They will demolish your hopes and dreams and squelch them with their words, strangling the life out of them. Your faith will become dry and barren, a wasteland of sun-bleached bones and tumbleweeds.
Pride and egocentricism are at the heart of this behavior. Love is nowhere to be found.
And what is most unfortunate is that we are known for this outside our walls. The world knows. We aren’t fooling them, and they won’t look the other way.
Christian bullies will make you feel guilty but feel none of that same emotion for tearing down a brother or a sister without cause.
You stay because you care, but they have no problem with maligning you with no evidence. They accuse you with no reason to do so while using your own hurt feelings as leverage against you.
You are moved with compassion over the bully, but I can assure you that he or she does not feel the same about you. Unfortunately, Christian bullies are in our midst, whitewashed tombs that look good on the outside but are filled with skeletal remains on the inside.
Jesus died to take that from you, as He came to give you life and life more abundant.The enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, so let the ashes go back to ashes and kick the dust from your shoes as you leave the bullies who are in Christian in name only behind you. You’ve got too much living to do.
Don't engage with death.
Stay Gutsy,
Rosa
Of I see you has the dog avatar. You are mistaken. If you feel I have hurt you in some way I am sorry. I haven't paid much attention to you but for some reason you obviously don't like me. That's ok. I am sorry if or when I have offended you. These are public forums,so I go where I want. If I'm not mistaken you attacked me in this very thread.
For Proverbs 17:17, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Friendship
(by Bill Stevenson)
Note: This is my adaptation of the “A Friend” list (which I did not write). As you read it, think about you in relating to your spouse or, if you are not married, in relating to your best friend. I believe that only true Christians with Holy Spirit guidance (by living Proverbs 3:5-6) can eventually live it with the help of the Holy Spirit and God's Word.
>> >>> > As a Proverbs 17:17 Friend, I will try to....
A>>> Accepts the other person as he or she is.
B>>> Believes in the other person.
C>>> Calls the other person just to say “Hi”.
D>>> Doesn’t give up on the other person.
E>>> Envisions the whole of the other person (even the unfinished parts).
F>>> Forgives the other person’s mistakes.
G>>> Gives to the other person unconditionally.
H>>> Helps the other person.
I>>> Invites the other person over.
J>>> Just enjoys “being” with the other person.
K>>> Keeps the other person close at ”heart” by thinking thankfully of him or her often.
L>>> Loves the other person for who he or she is.
M>>> Makes a difference in the other person’s life.
N>>> Never judges the other person in a condemnatory way,
but appropriately teaches discerning right and wrong.
O>>> Offers the other person any needed support.
P>>> Picks the other person up by humor, encouraging, etc.
Q>>> Quiets the other person’s fears.
R>>> Raises the other person’s spirits.
S>>> Says nice things about the other person.
T>>> Tells the other person the truth when he or she needs to hear it.
U>>> Understands the other person.
V>>> Values the other person.
W>>> Walks beside the other person.
X>>> X-plains things the other person doesn’t understand.
Y>>> Yearns to maintain friendship with the other person.
Z>>> Zaps the other person back to reality (not verbally or physically violently).
(h) advice for relating to others as friends-- https://www.box.com/s/1cdaa2d19b862dcdc9c2
1. for positive-- https://www.4shared.com/folder/b8UZX4Cl/1_online.html
2. going against the negative-- https://www.4shared.com/folder/A1E-VK_k/2_online.html
3. other advice-- https://www.4shared.com/folder/Exti3fYC/3_online.htmlc
I never want to argue. Arguing results in no good. Discussions where all want to learn result in good including divine peace and divine joy. My Bible study tools are best for discussions because they include no commentary. The logical formatting encourage reasoning and the thought-provoking questions in some result in good learning. The tourist just wanted to argue, not me. He is a bully.