Feedback welcomed, please...

[CharliRenee]

Kindness definition in the dictionary = the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Anyone have an example of showing selfless and careful consideration, tenderness and care, that not only helped the one on the receiving end but yourself as well?

I am entering into a discussion with 5th graders and attempting
to come up with specific examples of why one would choose a path of kindness, not only for others but for themselves.

In other words, does being kind make sense to both the receiver and the giver?

Some everyday, simple or extraordinary, examples or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

 

[maxwel]

If you can't find an example you like, it's perfectly fine to create a hypothetical story.

Kids can understand hypothetical stories, and then you can add just the qualities you need to make your point.

To do a hypothetical with kids you just start with, "Imagine if..."
Easy as that.

A real story from real life is great.
But creating a hypothetical scenario is just fine if you need to do that.
Don't make it too hard.


.

 

[CharliRenee]

If you can't find an example you like, it's perfectly fine to create a hypothetical story.

Kids can understand hypothetical stories, and then you can add just the qualities you need to make your point.

To do a hypothetical with kids you just start with, "Imagine if..."
Easy as that.

A real story from real life is great.
But creating a hypothetical scenario is just fine if you need to do that.
Don't make it too hard.


.

Yes, this is a good idea and I am making it much harder than it need be. It is interesting to me that I would struggle so much coming up with specific end points with something that I feel so compelled to put forth. It demonstrates to my awareness that I need to examine why I think it is a wise choice, not just a sweeter or appealing choice.

Not sure if that made sense...

 

[Hamarr]

I’m not sure I had anything of value to add, so I was going to write something up on being nice vs kind. 😛

I have been separating the word “nice” out from kindness. “Nice” to me means covert contracts. Giving or helping to get something in return or to look good to others. Niceness like that comes from neediness. I find the more I learn to be content with myself, the easier it is to be kind. I think it is giving out of a place of having “enough” rather than giving from a place where you are lacking.

 

[G00WZ]

Kindness definition in the dictionary = the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Anyone have an example of showing selfless and careful consideration, tenderness and care, that not only helped the one on the receiving end but yourself as well?

I am entering into a discussion with 5th graders and attempting
to come up with specific examples of why one would choose a path of kindness, not only for others but for themselves.

In other words, does being kind make sense to both the receiver and the giver?

Some everyday, simple or extraordinary, examples or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

I remember a long time ago when i was still in school, back when playing Pokemon was a thing with the original Pokemon gold and silver/ crystal versions i had a friend of friend who came from a poor family and he would always play with his old beat up original game boy, while the rest of us would be playing our brand new game boys. I remember looking at his..This thing was worn and i knew it was on its last leg, so offered him a trade.
I didn't want it to seem like charity so i pretty much told him i wanted his because it was the original classic one (i actually did want it for nostalgic reasons) and that i would trade him for 1 of mine. Back then i probably had about 10 or 15 of them because i used to buy/sell and trade stuff to other students in my free time. I also noticed that he was still playing an older version of the Pokemon games which was red version which came before gold and silver, so i ended up giving to him a Pokemon gold for free as a bonus to match his upgraded game boy... It was an awful trade on my part in terms of material profit for gain, but for him, he seemed happy with it, plus with that he was able to actually play/ battle with us, and i made a good friend in the process.

I kept that old beat up game boy of his for a long time, even though it broke in my backpack on the way home from school after he gave it to me.


I learned that when you do things to people positively to where you consider how they feel you end up getting rewarded for it later.
It isn't always going to be monetary or what you expect but things do come from the seeds you plant. I remember through that guy i met 2 more of his friends and together we all pretty much had the best year ever at that school (lots of ditching class, hopping over fences and getting into trouble lol)<--- might wanna cut this out for 5th graders though, but im just being real. But anyways, with all of those memories,friendships made, and cool stories to tell, they are most certainly worth more than gold. Doing good to others with good intentions ultimately enriches a persons life.

To this day i still do things with good intentions to friends or just whoever. A simple example is encouraging friends, speaking good to and about them, and adding value to them. And in my free time, to be able to maintain this i listen to a lot of positive affirmations, and just eat a lot of positivity. So in short i build me, and while doing so i usually boost others in that process. Constantly adding value to people and boosting bears its fruit. Im currently playing an online game right now with a huge team and they apparently boosted my rank to general which is the highest you can have in a group chat thing. It happens a lot wherever i go, but i don't need to explain to you the fruit, you pretty much have been ranked general here on cc. I am sure if you were to go to other places you would get the same results. But anyways that's about it, giving is good.

 

[Lynx]

A highway is a good example. Everybody on a highway has their own goals. We all got on at different points and we're all trying to get to different points. We can be jerks and cut each other off to get ahead, or we can cooperate and get down the road as best we can. When we work together traffic flows better and everybody generally has a better day... as long as there aren't too many jerks on the road.


The only other thing I have is "You can't take it with you when you die, so you might as well use it to make somebody else's life better while you're here." Ultimately the knowledge that you helped other people get through life better is the only thing you can take with you that you have any control over.


You can have a lot of stuff when you die, and you will still die. You can have a lot of friends when you die, and you will still die. I'd rather have friends than stuff any day.


You could also get into cost/benefit ratios, but it's hard to quantify the value of making somebody's face light up, and I'm not sure how you would express that to fifth graders.

 

[CharliRenee]

Thank you for responding. I appreciate your input, all of you. I know not all kindness or niceness is sincere, @Hamarr. It is too bad but I do know that I see sincere kindness and niceness, lots of places, online and off. It isn't about being ranked, lol, it is interesting to know I have been ranked general, lol. 🤔😮🙄

I loved reading the pokeman exchange and how you naturally want to give @G00WZ. Thanks for giving me an example. I can see how this is something the kids might be able to relate to.
The traffic scenario is a great example, too, @Lynx, and it might tie in with a practical example of why choosing the path of kindness is wise.


Kindness, genuine desire to be considerate to others helps the body be in balance. It comes with more peace and joy.

t blesses the giver and the receiver.

For fifth graders, it is hard to explain that it isn't just don't bully one another, it is about wanting to serve each other merely because it is the right or reasonable thing to do, for others and for ourselves.

But again, everyone's idea of right is different and so stating such a fact is vague and hardly can be said as fact.
I mean in the secular world...it can be stated more concretely using scripture.

Hmmmmm cost/benefit ratio would be good.

I'm thinking maybe using a time like 9-11. Where we see horrible and tragic acts of hate, but how the kindness of the community at large responded. Or when fires, earthquakes and hurricanes happen, ppl step up all over the place. This world not only wants kind ppl, but needs them.

 

[Hamarr]

Thank you for responding. I appreciate your input, all of you. I know not all kindness or niceness is sincere, @Hamarr. It is too bad but I do know that I see sincere kindness and niceness, lots of places, online and off. It isn't about being ranked, lol, it is interesting to know I have been ranked general, lol. 🤔😮🙄

Apologies if I am misreading your reply, but I didn’t intend my original comment as a judgement of you in any way. I was hesitant to post it because it had nothing to do with your question, but is what comes to mind when thinking of kindness.

I am doing some work on nice guy behavior for myself, so I am looking a lot at why I might do the things I do and whether I am being kind or nice. Recently, it became apparent how often I manage the feelings of others for fear they will have bad reaction instead of letting them react how they will and not owning that. (In my family, I had to manage how they would react for their own safety).

 

[CharliRenee]

Apologies if I am misreading your reply, but I didn’t intend my original comment as a judgement of you in any way. I was hesitant to post it because it had nothing to do with your question, but is what comes to mind when thinking of kindness.

I am doing some work on nice guy behavior for myself, so I am looking a lot at why I might do the things I do and whether I am being kind or nice. Recently, it became apparent how often I manage the feelings of others for fear they will have bad reaction instead of letting them react how they will and not owning that. (In my family, I had to manage how they would react for their own safety).

Oh no...I am sorry. I just put all my replies in one so i just reread what I wrote and can see that I commented on what you said, then said right after something about me and my ranking. I am sorry for sounding defensive. Ugh, I do sound that way a lot though. I need to work on that, Hamarr, bear with me k?

You had to manage how your family would react for safety, oh my goodness that would be so challenging. You know, I am glad you did respond, because there is a difference between nice and kind and I would like to add that to my talk with the kiddos. Plus, after what you just shared, it is another reasonable reason to be kind. It helps bring cohesion and order in an environment, not necessarily to control everyone's reactions, like you said, but just because it is uplifting and empowering to individuals and to ppl as a group.

You have me pondering though. Let's say person A is super nice to B and C simply for self preservation, does that mean A shouldn't be nice unless it is totally for selfless reasons? Lolol at my analytical mind. I do think doing everything out of selflessness, not vain or conceit, is always best but being kind does benefit all parties.

 

[Mel85]

Kindness definition in the dictionary = the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Anyone have an example of showing selfless and careful consideration, tenderness and care, that not only helped the one on the receiving end but yourself as well?

I am entering into a discussion with 5th graders and attempting
to come up with specific examples of why one would choose a path of kindness, not only for others but for themselves.

In other words, does being kind make sense to both the receiver and the giver?

Some everyday, simple or extraordinary, examples or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

One example I can give you is when I volunteered at a Soup Kitchen for the homeless and less fortunate. If anything, I was the one who truly learned how fortunate I am and how I can sometimes take the most least thing for granted - like picking what food to eat. These people who come in for a nice warm meal are just grateful enough that they get to even have something to eat for the night.

Working at the Soup Kitchen really opened my eyes and taught me to show the compassion of Jesus to these people, the same compassion that He gave me when I was lost in this world.

Hope this helps and all the best 💜

 

[CharliRenee]

It does help, sis, @Mel85. Yes, thank you for your service, caring for others, and for telling me how it opened the eyes of your heart of compassion.

 

[Miri]

H

Kindness definition in the dictionary = the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Anyone have an example of showing selfless and careful consideration, tenderness and care, that not only helped the one on the receiving end but yourself as well?

I am entering into a discussion with 5th graders and attempting
to come up with specific examples of why one would choose a path of kindness, not only for others but for themselves.

In other words, does being kind make sense to both the receiver and the giver?

Some everyday, simple or extraordinary, examples or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Hi I have a God inspired example not sure if you will be allowed to share it or not?

I know an elderly sprightly Christian, she is 89 but has more energy than me!

She does not have a TV or until this event no phone either.

A few years ago I was in town and got this sudden idea to buy her a mobile phone. It wouldn’t go away and then the more I thought about it the more excited I felt inside.

So I went to look at some phones. I knew it would need to be fairly simple for her to use but I also knew she liked learning about new things.

Anyway I found one that had an alphabetic keypad a bit like blackberrys use to have. I thought that would be easier for her to use. It also had a function to increase size of text. So I got that and also a pay as you go SIM card which I got topped up for her. It was a Nokia phone.

It was around £100 all in so not super expensive but a fair amount of money to spend on a whim but I was so joyful and excited!

I got on the bus and went straight to her house in the hope she was in.

Anyway I knocked on the door she answered. I said hi I hope you don’t mind but I’ve just bought you a mobile phone.

She looked at me strangely and asked if it was a Nokia! I said yes! We both just started laughing on her door step and couldn’t stop it was so funny. It was like we each had a big secret and neither of us knew what we were laughing at!

Anyway she invited me in and said she has been praying about getting a mobile phone but didn’t know anything anoit them or what kind to get. Then that morning she felt God tell her she was getting a Nokia phone!!! She didn’t know when though!

We both cracked up laughing again!

Both of us were so blessed and joyful it was an amazing God moment. God answered her prayers and I was doubly blessed for being the answer to her prayer.

She still has that phone I saw her a few weeks ago, it’s been dropped on the floor, dropped in water etc, but it’s never stopped working I think it’s over 7 years old now! We were both so amazed and blessed that day.

😁

 

[Miri]

Another time I was in church and I overheard someone saying their car had broken down but he didn’t have the money to fix it. He was a self employed electrician so no car, no work.

Anyway I sent the husband and wife enough money to cover the cost, as cash in the post. I didn’t want them to know who it was From. I just included a piece of paper with a cross drawn on it and a smile.

Next week in church, they were telling everyone how something amazing something big had happened. They would not say what but he had his car back on the road and both husband and wife were so happy!!!

I’ve never said anything to them to this day, but I felt so happy for them both.

Being nice can be costly but the rewards, blessing, feelings of joy. Of having done something wonderful are beyond measure! 😊 There is no feeling like it.

 

[Miri]

Another example a lady in our church her first husband died. She had never lived on her own before having gone straight from her parents into married life. Because she was from Scotland she didn’t have any relatives close by either.

I heard that she always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. So while I did not know her very well, I offered to visit every Sunday after church to give her free lessons.

We both enjoyed ourselves immensely. It was good company for her, plus she picked up a new skill. I gained a new friend - we both did.

A few years later she met someone and they got married and asked me to be their head bridesmaid.

The wife went to be with the Lord last year. I still keep in contact with the husband so it wasn’t just a passing friendship but a life long friendship, well worth more than the few hours of my free time every Sunday.

 

[CharliRenee]

Another example a lady in our church her first husband died. She had never lived on her own before having gone straight from her parents into married life. Because she was from Scotland she didn’t have any relatives close by either.

I heard that she always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. So while I did not know her very well, I offered to visit every Sunday after church to give her free lessons.

We both enjoyed ourselves immensely. It was good company for her, plus she picked up a new skill. I gained a new friend - we both did.

A few years later she met someone and they got married and asked me to be their head bridesmaid.

The wife went to be with the Lord last year. I still keep in contact with the husband so it wasn’t just a passing friendship but a life long friendship, well worth more than the few hours of my free time every Sunday.

Wow, the nokia story was so sweet and supernatural. The laughter shared the communication you two were having with God individually and then coming together sent tingles down my spine.

And then the help with the car and then giving your time away, giving lessons, and now caregiving with your aunt. Miri, it is an honor knowing you and your experiences, truly.

What you said here...


Being nice can be costly but the rewards, blessing, feelings of joy. Of having done something wonderful are beyond measure! 😊 There is no feeling like it. < soooooo true!!!!

Like lynx said and you too, concerning friendship gained, yes it is priceless.

Thanks for the examples and the inspiration. Yes, I can use these....

 

[Hamarr]

Oh no...I am sorry. I just put all my replies in one so i just reread what I wrote and can see that I commented on what you said, then said right after something about me and my ranking. I am sorry for sounding defensive. Ugh, I do sound that way a lot though. I need to work on that, Hamarr, bear with me k?

You had to manage how your family would react for safety, oh my goodness that would be so challenging. You know, I am glad you did respond, because there is a difference between nice and kind and I would like to add that to my talk with the kiddos. Plus, after what you just shared, it is another reasonable reason to be kind. It helps bring cohesion and order in an environment, not necessarily to control everyone's reactions, like you said, but just because it is uplifting and empowering to individuals and to ppl as a group.

You have me pondering though. Let's say person A is super nice to B and C simply for self preservation, does that mean A shouldn't be nice unless it is totally for selfless reasons? Lolol at my analytical mind. I do think doing everything out of selflessness, not vain or conceit, is always best but being kind does benefit all parties.

Nah, you didn't come across as defensive to me. I mostly wasn't sure how to take it, so I'm glad you were able to clarify.

For your scenario, I think it would depend on some things. If you're a kid, you may not know better or it might not be safe to do otherwise. There is a plus side to learning those skills. I am probably a lot more empathetic than I might be otherwise. The downside is learning how to be assertive and knowing that most people out there won't go crazy because you told them no.

 

[Lanolin]

With fifth graders...you can say to them if they offer to do the dishes after dinner, or rinse them and put them away thats being kind to their parents who can take a rest after a hard days work.

(But i have learned that might not work with perfectionist parents, who complain it isnt done properly)

Another is greeting someone in the morning and then saying goodbye when you leave. Thats better than ignoring someone.

Saying please when you ask something and thankyou when someone does something for you..

Everyone ought to know these things but youd be surpised that some parents do not even model or teach this. Or they just dont have time.

Not pushing in and waiting you turn.
Listening, and waiting till someone finished before speaking.

Fifth graders often may not encounter someone less fortunate than themselves but they can all have compassion on smaller creatures like pets. Ask them what they do to look after them. Ask how they feel when someone looks after them, gives them food and a home, helps them out and plays with them.

 

[CharliRenee]

With fifth graders...you can say to them if they offer to do the dishes after dinner, or rinse them and put them away thats being kind to their parents who can take a rest after a hard days work.

(But i have learned that might not work with perfectionist parents, who complain it isnt done properly)

Another is greeting someone in the morning and then saying goodbye when you leave. Thats better than ignoring someone.

Saying please when you ask something and thankyou when someone does something for you..

Everyone ought to know these things but youd be surpised that some parents do not even model or teach this. Or they just dont have time.

Not pushing in and waiting you turn.
Listening, and waiting till someone finished before speaking.

Fifth graders often may not encounter someone less fortunate than themselves but they can all have compassion on smaller creatures like pets. Ask them what they do to look after them. Ask how they feel when someone looks after them, gives them food and a home, helps them out and plays with them.

Nicely said, all of it...as a matter of fact one of the stories I am reading is pick a pet, I can see from what you just said, how using kindness when picking is profitable to the pet and the humans involved. Yes, very practical examples, thank you.

and this...

Not pushing in and waiting you turn.
Listening, and waiting till someone finished before speaking.

Also how applying these principles brings order and elevates the energy of the environment, putting everyone in a more peaceful and thoughtful place.

 

[Lafftur]

With fifth graders...you can say to them if they offer to do the dishes after dinner, or rinse them and put them away thats being kind to their parents who can take a rest after a hard days work.

(But i have learned that might not work with perfectionist parents, who complain it isnt done properly)

Another is greeting someone in the morning and then saying goodbye when you leave. Thats better than ignoring someone.

Saying please when you ask something and thankyou when someone does something for you..

Everyone ought to know these things but youd be surpised that some parents do not even model or teach this. Or they just dont have time.

Not pushing in and waiting you turn.
Listening, and waiting till someone finished before speaking.

Fifth graders often may not encounter someone less fortunate than themselves but they can all have compassion on smaller creatures like pets. Ask them what they do to look after them. Ask how they feel when someone looks after them, gives them food and a home, helps them out and plays with them.

Nicely said, all of it...as a matter of fact one of the stories I am reading is pick a pet, I can see from what you just said, how using kindness when picking is profitable to the pet and the humans involved. Yes, very practical examples, thank you.

and this...

Not pushing in and waiting you turn.
Listening, and waiting till someone finished before speaking.

Also how applying these principles brings order and elevates the energy of the environment, putting everyone in a more peaceful and thoughtful place.

Hi CharliRenee and Lanolin,

Great advice, Lanolin!

Fifth graders love games! Teach the lesson of kindness with a game. Call it "Destroy the Works of the Enemy."

Yeshua/Jesus went about doing good and destroying the works of the enemy. It's good for us to learn to do the same.

You're very creative. I'm sure you'll find an interesting and fun way to play the game!

 

[CharliRenee]

Hi CharliRenee and Lanolin,

Great advice, Lanolin!

Fifth graders love games! Teach the lesson of kindness with a game. Call it "Destroy the Works of the Enemy."

Yeshua/Jesus went about doing good and destroying the works of the enemy. It's good for us to learn to do the same.

You're very creative. I'm sure you'll find an interesting and fun way to play the game!

First, thanks for the feedback and encouragement. It is you who is so VERY creative. Seriously, what a clever idea. It is in a secular environment, so I am not sure but the game idea is spot on. Yes they love games, me too. I mean who doesn't love games...how fun they are, like monopoly, life, or Bible Trivia.... I wonder how I could incorporate the idea of defeat the enemy without talking specifically about the enemy, satan, or our Savior, Jesus/Yeshua?

Hmmmmmm.....🤔🙏🙏❤