Hey Selenah those thoughts are fiery darts in your mind, do not accept them, take them captive unto Christ.... He loves you and me... I have had many thoughts over the years and they eventually pass...sometimes I wonder if depression will be part of life that I have to always trust God with, storms I must weather for a divine purpose... I know that our trials and difficulties are not wasted but that God has a much higher purpose for our suffering that we normally don't comprehend... but I trust Him that it will easily be worth it one day, when al this life will seem like just a day... it may not always seem like it but life is short and Heaven is long and God has a very important purpose for each one of our lives though we may not see it... who knows what poor soul will need you desperately, further on in your life....
when we trust Him with the indescribably hard times this is pleasing in His sight-I am reminded of when Jesus was on the cross asking His Father why had He forsaken Him.... but The Father was still in control even then... keep trusting dear sister it will all be worth it in the end xx