Hello everyone! 
I'm new here and this seems to be the best place to start. I also wanted to tell you about the reasons why I decided to come to this site. So in some way I have always believed in God but during the past few years I somehow lost my faith. I still thought that I was believing but didn't really spend my time with God like I used to. That happened very gradually and unnoticed, and eventually I didn't even remember that I had lost something in my life. I was struggling with dark thoughts, fear and self-hatred which I just waved aside with "it be like that sometimes" -attitude.
Then (I honestly don't know where it came from but) I had a thought that maybe I could start again a relationship with God.
At first I was hesitant if that would work at all, but afterwards I have felt so relieved and cheerful even. I didn't really realise how much I was longing for that calmness and peace of mind that comes with God. All those thoughts and other things haven't of course gone completely away but now I know how things can be and how they should be. I can see everything in perspective and really the contrast is huge. I don't know what would've happened if I had continued to live a while longer like I did before.
Since I don't really have any religious people in my life to remind me about these things I'm scared that I will fall back into that dim time when everything was meaningless. And I know that can easily happen again since my faith faded away so quietly that I can never be certain it won't happen again. I trust God but I don't trust myself.
I haven't shared this with anyone because as I said I don't have much like-minded people around me. But as I now know what can happen if I'm not able to keep myself close to God (and since I also know that my faith won't ever be strong enough for that), I decided to come to this site because the atmosphere here seems to be very warm and welcoming. I don't know how active I will be, it's possible that you will never hear from me again haha.
Okay and lastly; I don't know much about what the bible teaches or how to be a good christian so I'm sorry for making some mistakes. I'm also not very familiar with using the phrases like "God bless" but just that you know I'm not trying to be rude and I still love and appreciate you all.
Sorry for the long and messy message, wish you have a great day!
I'm new here and this seems to be the best place to start. I also wanted to tell you about the reasons why I decided to come to this site. So in some way I have always believed in God but during the past few years I somehow lost my faith. I still thought that I was believing but didn't really spend my time with God like I used to. That happened very gradually and unnoticed, and eventually I didn't even remember that I had lost something in my life. I was struggling with dark thoughts, fear and self-hatred which I just waved aside with "it be like that sometimes" -attitude.
Then (I honestly don't know where it came from but) I had a thought that maybe I could start again a relationship with God.
At first I was hesitant if that would work at all, but afterwards I have felt so relieved and cheerful even. I didn't really realise how much I was longing for that calmness and peace of mind that comes with God. All those thoughts and other things haven't of course gone completely away but now I know how things can be and how they should be. I can see everything in perspective and really the contrast is huge. I don't know what would've happened if I had continued to live a while longer like I did before.
Since I don't really have any religious people in my life to remind me about these things I'm scared that I will fall back into that dim time when everything was meaningless. And I know that can easily happen again since my faith faded away so quietly that I can never be certain it won't happen again. I trust God but I don't trust myself.
I haven't shared this with anyone because as I said I don't have much like-minded people around me. But as I now know what can happen if I'm not able to keep myself close to God (and since I also know that my faith won't ever be strong enough for that), I decided to come to this site because the atmosphere here seems to be very warm and welcoming.
I don't know how active I will be, it's possible that you will never hear from me again haha.Okay and lastly; I don't know much about what the bible teaches or how to be a good christian so I'm sorry for making some mistakes. I'm also not very familiar with using the phrases like "God bless" but just that you know I'm not trying to be rude and I still love and appreciate you all.
Sorry for the long and messy message, wish you have a great day!
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