Hi Meg,
I know this will sound weird, but the explanation resonated with me as poetry.
Read it out loud to yourself. It is powerful. I see what you were going for with the first draft, but the song of the words flows better with the explanation.
Thought processes of the brain,
declare negative, deceptive or destructive thoughts dead.
Peace will be restored.
It is strong in message and cadence.
I hope I haven't overstepped by saying this but what you did is a very writerly thing to do. We make a draft of our thoughts, and then as we explore them, when we go to explain them, we craft our truth. I think you went from raw thought to interesting writing. Kudos.