Is it ever good to break up with someone over a text message?

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The big factor is whether they're answering your calls.

If it takes three days to get them on the phone with you or in person, send the text.
 
How established was the relationship?
Im tempted to say a 2 or 3 month relationships can be disdolved by text. but even that might be too simplistic.
Certainly a 12 month deeper relationship needs some closure face to face.
But i can imagine a text might be suitable shortly after a huge face to face blowout.
 
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or a woman wishing to escape a domestic violence relationship.
even someone feeling intimidated by someone with a loud opinionated voice. they may feel they arent listened to. they have become just a sounding board for a talkaholic.
 
I think the way we treat people says a lot about our character. If you are not kind to someone because they no longer serve your purposes, then you are not truly kind. Be respectful. At one point they meant something to you. They have trusted you and cared for you. There might not be a future but respect the fact that you shared a past. Don't call yourself a Christian and treat others with no regard for their feelings. Be mature and thoughtful in your behaviour. It matters.
 
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In the age of ghosting, I'll just be glad if the guy tells me he's breaking up with me at all.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of texting unless I'm doing it from my computer where it's more like private messaging or IM. I don't think texting is an ideal way to break up just because there's so much of communication that is non verbal and may not be conveyed or may be misunderstood entirely by text. Combine that with the real time element and I don't know that it's going to save anything except you having to see the other person's reaction. E-mail and letters at least have the advantage of giving one person a chance to say all of their say and then the other person has time to give a measured response to the correspondence.

But as others have said so much depends upon the quality of the relationship: two dates and I've decided I don't want to date you anymore is different from well we've been talking about marriage for several months and the more we discuss things the more convinced I am we're never going to be able to make it work.
 
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"Yeah well, after that I don't want to be with you either so..." :D. I personally would prefer something like that gets dealt with in person, unless, of course, you had reason to believe it would be dangerous to do so.
 
Dont you have to give the ring back or something or is that only if you engaged.
Dont know as never really broken up with someone. If dont want to see them anymore just say I'm busy. Then stop contacting them.
 
breaking up with a text seems pretty lame to me. doesn't really foster a discussion that brings closure. it's kinda like, "here's what I'm doing, here's why, deal with it."
i understand why people do it though. face to face discussions or even a phone call is much more personal. by nature, a text allows for a certain level of detachment and as they say "hiding behind a screen." you don't have to deal with the actual feelings and emotions of the one you're breaking up with.
 
Thread title: "Is it ever good to break up with someone over a text message?"

Yes. I have seen a few text messages that made me want to break up with somebody, and I wasn't even in a relationship with them. But whomever was dating them should have broken up with them, if they were the kind of people to send me text messages like that! :p
 
Socreta93 said:
I made a post here like 6-7 months back talking about one of my classes and how my professor can go from talking about the NY Mafia to random stuff like this. Anyway one day in class he got off topic and somehow the discussion led to him saying how men or women should never break up with someone over a text. Saying that is something personal that should be done face to face. This led to a huge debate with a girl in my class with ehr saying she would rather they text her saying "hey boo, we're done peace", she would rather receive that so that she never has to see him again and she could move on. My professor disagreed saying this is something that should be done face to face to show class and not be a coward, she thinks it's better because once they text their breakup then it's sayonara. My professor is what you would call a boomer and sort of conservative in his beliefs (not politics) and the girl is very cynical, but also very outspoken. I should note, my summary of this was the PG version and language I can't repeat here. So anyway what do you guys think? Does a breakup have TO HAPPEN face to face or is it acceptable to jut text your partner and be done with it.
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I think your example does a fine job showing how differently people can view these things.

(not sure if either of these two people are biased because of personal experience)


I think our best bet is to pray about it, and think of the most reasonable way to go about separating from the person you no longer wish to be with.... (hopefully you have a pretty good idea of who they are if you are "with" them)

The reason for leaving could influence wether going the extra mile is a good idea or not.

(if you're leaving for any reason aside from being wronged and hurt I would suggest going above and beyond to give this person closure who chose to give thier time to you)
 
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Ghoti2 said:
I would say the "obligation" has to be primary. What kind of a cold, heartless person would declare undying love for months and months, only to hide behind a telephone screen when they get bored and want something new?
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In this modern day and age the Millennials simply delete the now unwanted person without the slightest consideration shown. Discraceful.
 
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Many years ago the actor Sylvester Stallone broke up with a model writing a six page goodbye letter that he had shipped to her via FEDEX.
I think the irony is on the "EX".
Later, they got back together. And to this day they have been married more than 20 years.

No, I think a text breakup is quite frankly cowardly. If someone can face the person when the relationship was good, at least have the decency to face them when you want it to be over.
 
Nope, nor is it ever good to ask them out in txt message (imo).

But everyone is different and have different methods of communication. My preference would be face to face.
 
Mel85 said:
Nope, nor is it ever good to ask them out in txt message (imo).

But everyone is different and have different methods of communication. My preference would be face to face.
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But if its face to face wouldnt you run the risk of being slapped because that is how some people feel about breakups like its a slap in the face.
Stop seeing me. Whack!
 
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