Well maybe she thought the barely tolerable comment was the explanation...still...wasn't the nicest way of doing it, especially not talking to me directly. Honestly I just wish she would reach out and talk to me.
I'd like to contact her and see if she is willing to talk...but these days I'm afraid of her bringing up harassment charges if I try to contact her once she's blocked me on social media...this day and age it's too risky, so I feel like she has to be the one to reach out...even though it sucks, and it has been a very long time since we talked.
The reactions of her family also confuse me....like her mother and sister blocked me on insta but still like my fb posts occasionally or send a birthday message (and her mom's also a pastor)...and it just makes me more confused.
I have no doubt you are concerned and blindsided by this sudden shift in her attitude toward you. I agree it is best to use caution when thinking to pursue an answer due to concerns about harassment charges.
I think her having this change of attitude and then going to those extremes to block you from contacting her after is her way of saying, she has no interest in sorting it out. That's on her, not you.
Whatever this is, maybe ask yourself per your personal standards as pertains to friendship, is this how you'd expect and respect a true friend to behave toward you?
I'll share something personal and maybe this will help.
Certain in-laws in our family are whacked. No other way to encapsulate how they are the culmination of bad parenting. One parent being a malignant narcissist, and the other a coward.
The one parent was the dominant one. And their needs came before anything else. Both parents abused their many children. Physically, emotionally and of course all that leads to mental abuse.
The one parent , the malignant narcissist, was the real problem all the way around. They even treated their own siblings poorly. One, they didn't speak to for 30 years because the MN was upset with that sibling and thought it justice. After those 30 years of ignoring the siblings existence the ban was lifted and not even the MN(Malignant Narcissist) recalled why it all started.
In any case, to get to it. A member of the extended family in this circus of weird personality , family by marriage, had for some reason unknown to them caused the children of these two unfit now dead parents to feel a certain way about them. So the children, including this persons spouse, who was one of those siblings, all had a meeting one day out of state. The sib's lived across the country and the unrelated spouse could not leave on an extended visit due to work schedules. Their spouse, the siblings relation, went on a visit to their family alone.
At this meeting the siblings and that spouse all decided that the "outsider" , the inlaw their sibling was married to, would be ignored. Just like their mother did to her own sibling for decades. And so it was. No reason was given to that spouse. They just noticed when those sib's would call they'd call the spouse/sibling cell phone, not the home phone where there was a mere chance the ostracized one would answer.
God only knows what was behind that. I remember getting the call from the ignored in-law of this bunch because the ignored one needed someone to vent to. To this day, years after, they have no idea what generated this shut down.
The point here is, those people in that emotionally abusive clan actually believe not only that they're entitled to stop talking to a member of their extended family, but that that person deserves their shutting them off. And should be bothered by it, and have it effect their life. Because, that particular clan no longer likes nor respects the one whom their sibling is married to.
That's a sin of entitlement. Selfishness. And the fruit that arrives after decades of abuse from infancy by two people who should have never ever had children. Even their offspring agree with that one.
The point is in sharing that, sometimes the worst people don't show you they are a bad person until they decide to be themselves.
If you continue to let this block impact you emotionally, that person who has erected it for their own reasons they're not courageous enough to share with you, but are cowardly enough to exercise against you by ignoring your existence, controls your day to day and your emotions from the moment they did this and you found out.
They don't want to talk with you or have anything more to do with you.
That's their right.
Just as it is your right to kick the dust from your feet and keep it moving. They were never your friend when they can't even speak to you now about what troubles them. And what they don't realize is ending it like this with you, the silent treatment that blocks your existence from their attention on the Net, has an emotional toll it will put on they themselves as time goes on.
If you live in the same area there's a chance you'll see each other.
Every time they look at you whatever it is that bothered them to that degree is going to resurrect itself in their psyche and emotions. Because they didn't make closure on the issue that bothered them so much they cut you out of their life without a word as to why.
You can only allow that to happen to you if you let it. And that gives that person more power over you than the one act of blocking you out. Because the emotions will carry in you day to day beyond that. And your life has never and shall never depend on being accepted by any one person. You have power over your life, not your friends, or even family. You decide what makes you happy, and whom you will allow to impact you emotionally.
Don't let someone who hasn't the courage to talk out their issues with you take away your smile or the light you have in your life that are those true open sincere friends.
Learn from this! Don't let it burden you thinking you did something to deserve it. And that she's not speaking to you lets you then imagine all kinds of fantastical things as to what it was you "did". When you can never guess and it isn't up to you to do so.
LOVE YOU! And don't spend another moment fretting over those who don't.
You deserve to be happy! Believe in that. And learn from what doesn't make you happy, so that you grow stronger for having survived the experience.
Someone doesn't like you? Too bad, it's their loss.
Someone doesn't want to talk to you anymore? That's their right. Too bad, it's their loss.
Be happy! And to do that make sure you don't depend on others and how they feel about you to get there. If you do, you'll always be a hostage to circumstance and personalities you have absolutely no control over.
That's how you gain personal emotional strength. Realize the limitations of being you. People will think what they want to think, and say what they want to say about you. You are not responsible for any of that. And you have no control over any of it.
Thinking you do is what can make you upset as in this case. You think you should be able to know what's up with this persons sudden turn of attitude toward you. But you're not. And they're showing you that by blocking you after they turned from you without a word as to why.
And, they're a Pastor's daughter! What does that mean? Nothing.
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