I love my church family and friends and love my church, but man I am getting bored with it.
It's mostly elderlies, and children and there just isn't anything there for me to do.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy listening to my elderly friends share their experiences, but I prefer that sitting on a porch or lawn chair with a jar of tea.
Pastor preaches good messages and only once have I disagreed with something he preached and the was such a minor thing that it ain't worth discussion. It's just that there isn't any place to grow.
I even tried to play with the worship team, and at one time loved playing music, but I don't care to anymore.
It's kind of sad, but I may have to find someplace else to go, in order to be challenged, and have a place to grow. I want to learn more, and share what I have learned.
"The land is set before you." A Journey alone with God, led by His Spirit to grow up in Him. This Journey can't be learned by man. The inner life of Jesus is hidden in solitude and unless we are led by His Spirit we don't know the Way. Admiration worship is in secret, to find Him openly in everything. "He that is joined to the Lord becomes one Spirit with Him." "The Spirit helps us in our infirmities, as we don't know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groans that can’t be uttered."
The best sermon I heard on a Journey alone with God is almost fourth years old, never heard it since.
The Way of perfection revealed in creation:
"The invisible things of Him from the creation ofthe world are clearly seen, being understood by things that are made." "There are three things too wonderful for me, yes four which I can't attain to: the way of an eagle in the air, the way of a serpent up a rock, the way of a ship in the midst of the sea, and the way of a man with amaiden."
"The way of an eagle in the air”
Soaring effortlessly on rising air currents:
"Even the youth will be weary, and the will of young men exhausted; but they that wait on the Lord shall renew strength: they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
When fledglings learn to fly, some won't learn at once the use of their wings to reach the updraft and soar. They end up on the ground to fend for themselves until willing to learn. Identified with creature comfort, we will not learn to soar with God; but having had a taste as brief as it was won't be forgotten. We experience this from time to time in worship, but until we learn obedience of faith we lose direction of the wind of the Spirit and end up back on the ground, to "Run and not be weary" of those desiring control, and "walk and not faint" from trouble and fears. One such eaglet like myself who would not learn at once was found by a farmer and nurtured in his chicken coop for a while, until the imprinted memory of soaring,overtook the comfort zone that no longer satisfied and disappeared to destiny.
"The way of a snake up a rock"
Climbing a rock by making a vacuum with its belly against the rock:
"I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: you therefore, wise as serpents and harmless as doves." To seek God in our heart and continually return to Him, to become One with "The Rock that ishigher than I." To abide in Him and learn to persevere in the Way; avoiding the sand and filth of the world that would break oneness between us and the Rock and cause our downfall: not to be blinded by self-sufficiency and resist the influence of Grace: to suffer all things with a single eye to please Him, "Harmless as doves." Neglect of Interior Life is not remaining in Him who Is the Life of the vine, the God of all comfort. "You shall seek Me and find, when you search for Me with all your heart."
"The way of a ship in the midst of the sea
"There is always a way with the wind:
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that Love God, those called to His purpose."
Every journey has its beginning, progress andfulfillment; beginning in prayer is labor until we enter into rest in God. Cords are loosed to push off from the old port, to clear harbor and put to sea: we leave creature entanglements in the labor of beginning, to proceed to theinterior, an inner journey in the kingdom of heaven within under the rule ofHis Spirit. Laid bare in prayer exposes areas of our heart held back, to yield our whole heart into the wind of the Spirit. Leaving familiar land behind and spreading sails in the wind of the open sea, we proceed so swiftly that oars are useless and laid aside: prayer becomes effortless. When winds are contrary we progress by tacking into the wind: tactful to get past fears and complaining, to turn to the Lord resting in the ship. We rest from our labor and glide rapidly along without toil and make more Way in one hour than a day rowing on our efforts. The comparison of an outpouring of the Holy Spirit is so much greater, that in a day yielding to His Spirit advances us inwardly more than a year on our own efforts. "Strive to enter His rest." "For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere."
"The way of a man with a maiden"
A new relationship effortlessly drawn to Love:
"Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth willbe bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they shall ask, it will be done for them of my Father in heaven. For where two ormore gather in My Name, there I Am with them.”
The Song of songs is similarity of romantic love and friendship Love with God. Love is its own reward, motivating therelationship of its own accord, to cease from ourselves and find rest in the Beloved. While thanksgiving rules the heart, what we see and hear, reason and speak, or eat and drink, does not distract from Love. Neither does our prayer need to be filled with words, but agreement of Love. Agreement more wonderful than we could dream becomes reality and nothing else real. Likewise when God is our first Love we enter into the wisdom of God as reality and nothing else real. "From now on we know no man after the flesh." "Without Love I am nothing." This is not too wonderful to experience in romantic love, but we don’t attain to remain on this mountaintop. "In the world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer I have overcome the world." When we desire to be borne emotionally by our mate, we sink in a relationship of expectations, rather than a relationship with the Lord. While we are not One with God as we should the relationship becomes work. We long to be loved intimately and carried emotionally but having left our first Love, what was once effortless is now tiring. We suffer many ups and down to learn to cease from ourselves and find our rest in God. Even trying to impress our mate we don't Love as God Loves, but God is with us in trouble and we can’t without Him put away our divided spirit that interrupted Him. To guard our hearts from taking things in our hands again by the influence of Grace. When there is no one left to distract us, Jesus is the Door and the Way." To cease planning and wishing with imagination and enter in a journey of discovery we can’t imagine.
2
1
