Your Reason For Not Attending Church

[posthuman]

I've heard unbelievers say they don't attend church because the church is full of hypocrites, which is usually a cop out and they have no interest in going to church anyway.

when i hear that i wonder why it doesn't occur to them to step up and be a "not-hypocrite" ?

i mean, if you were an athlete and upset that no one on your team was giving a good effort - wouldn't you give it your all when you yourself were on the field, as an example and inspiration? because if your response to that is to quit playing sports altogether, IMO that makes you worse than the people you criticized, because at least they didn't just flake out altogether.

 

[posthuman]

We listen to one man preach for an hour.

lucky

majority of sermons ((in my experience)) are 30 min or less & could have been condensed to 15. whole services typically last 1 hour, with half of it being music, announcements and collecting money.

to me, obviously, this is no way to be 'fed' or 'discipled' adequately. especially when also those sermons are usually cookie-cutter bullet-points the pastor got from a preaching listserver and are aimed squarely at the lowest-common-denominator in the congregation. an actual teacher behind a pulpit is extraordinarily difficult to find, and one that's willing to teach from that dais as though he's not speaking to babes the whole time, harder still.

there's a lot to be said for smaller-group Bible studies outside of what i like to call 'the sunday morning big show' -- but the really disheartening thing is that when churches do have such opportunities, only a very small % of the people that nominally 'attend' the church are ever willing to take part in them. all most of the people in the pews want is 1 hour a week of smiling and nodding and being cordial to relative strangers on their way out the door, and many churches cater to that.

if you want more than this, that sadly puts you in a shrinking minority, i'm afraid.
if you have more than this -- blessed

 

[Magenta]

I don't go because my autistic kid can't handle it and nobody cares. We've tried every church around and nobody cares. Sure I can drag him screaming into service but I spend my whole time trying to keep him under control and don't hear a thing. We usually watch the sermon on YouTube later. I dream of being able to go but we feel so unwelcome its just miserable.

A while ago I heard a woman sharing her story on the Focus on the Family radio program... she was talking about going to church and finding her place with an autistic son who was, to say the least, an unmanageable handful. He did not care for the service but liked the "after church" === the tea time and people milling about, so that is what this mom did- skipped the service and showed up with her son for the social part afterwards. Her son discovered that chairs needed putting away, which he was willing to do, and he was then asked to be a helper in that capacity, which eventually led to him becoming a greeter, and then someone who worked in the sound booth, where his love of music was a sight to behold LOL... Long story short, this church embraced her and her son: not everybody did all at once, for some people need time to come around to how we are all different... but she and her son both found their place there, and joy, and love, as well. Perhaps churches like this are rare, but they do exist. I pray you find such a one, and do not give up The mom wrote a book about her experiences, called Dancing With Max. Here (<- click!) is a Focus on the Family page with links to stories concerning autism. I found this book also:

 

[Mammagoose]

A while ago I heard a woman sharing her story on the Focus on the Family radio program... she was talking about going to church and finding her place with an autistic son who was, to say the least, an unmanageable handful. He did not care for the service but liked the "after church" === the tea time and people milling about, so that is what this mom did- skipped the service and showed up with her son for the social part afterwards. Her son discovered that chairs needed putting away, which he was willing to do, and he was then asked to be a helper in that capacity, which eventually led to him becoming a greeter, and then someone who worked in the sound booth, where his love of music was a sight to behold LOL... Long story short, this church embraced her and her son: not everybody did all at once, for some people need time to come around to how we are all different... but she and her son both found their place there, and joy, and love, as well. Perhaps churches like this are rare, but they do exist. I pray you find such a one, and do not give up The mom wrote a book about her experiences, called Dancing With Max. Here (<- click!) is a Focus on the Family page with links to stories concerning autism. I found this book also:

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Thank you. I will look into it. My mom runs the awana program at church so we are at least involved with that. Sadly the church has made it clear that they don't care. When he was younger the only thing I asked was for them to let me know when there wasn't Sunday school but they said he was fine he could sit in service like everyone else. It makes me feel crazy and so alone.

 

[Lynx]

the World is my Church.

Yup. Especially the part with trees and grass and no concrete.

Sweetest days of childhood
Playing in the deep woods
Stomping through the creek and feeling
Oh, so much alive
Camping in the forest
We join the cricket chorus
And hum our songs of gratitude
Around a crackling fire
And out here in the stillness
I found my house of worship
With column trees and canopy of stars
Here in my cathedral

 

[Poinsetta]

I don’t have a ride to get there.

 

[oldethennew]

no excuses allowed for God's called, elect, chosen... we are required to pay our way, -
not sleeping on a pew, or pretending to pay a due, but living out our calling in Love and sacrifice
for those whom He has bound us with into HIS-HOLY-LOVE...

 

[DesertWanderer]

I don’t have a ride to get there.

That's totally inexcusable on your church's part. Disgraceful. And I am sorry. I bet if you asked, someone would step up. I will pray that you find the courage to ask, and someone in your congregation will act on your behalf. All God's blessings to you.

 

[Poinsetta]

That's totally inexcusable on your church's part. Disgraceful. And I am sorry. I bet if you asked, someone would step up. I will pray that you find the courage to ask, and someone in your congregation will act on your behalf. All God's blessings to you.

Thanks.

 

[DesertWanderer]

Thank you. I will look into it. My mom runs the awana program at church so we are at least involved with that. Sadly the church has made it clear that they don't care. When he was younger the only thing I asked was for them to let me know when there wasn't Sunday school but they said he was fine he could sit in service like everyone else. It makes me feel crazy and so alone.

Your story warms my heart and breaks it at the same time. This is precisely why we need to go back to fellowship the way the early church did. I know it's difficult sometimes meeting at home, but at least you are in your own territory. I don't know if house churches are the answer, but the way we are "doing church" right now just isn't working.

 

[Poinsetta]

Your story warms my heart and breaks it at the same time. This is precisely why we need to go back to fellowship the way the early church did. I know it's difficult sometimes meeting at home, but at least you are in your own territory. I don't know if house churches are the answer, but the way we are "doing church" right now just isn't working.

No it’s not. ☹️

 

[Mammagoose]

Your story warms my heart and breaks it at the same time. This is precisely why we need to go back to fellowship the way the early church did. I know it's difficult sometimes meeting at home, but at least you are in your own territory. I don't know if house churches are the answer, but the way we are "doing church" right now just isn't working.

I completely agree. My husband and I dream of a casual church where people just get together to fellowship and worship as they feel led. But fellowship is no longer in church unless you are part of the "popular" crowd and church shouldn't be that way. In reality I avoid church functions because I just sit there with my family being ignored and wondering why we are even there. It's not fellowship when nobody will talk to you.

 

[DesertWanderer]

I like going to church but initially I did not like the idea of being a member of a church (since we are all part of the universal church). But, I understand now why churches need members. Yes, I have been hurt by church, which I described in my first post. I did research on the different church denominations at that time, but I decided to stay at my church since I've been there for about six to seven years. I also realized plenty of other people at my church stayed even though they may not agree with the pastor/church administration on a particular topic or may have different view on a doctrine. I have accepted that people do not have to see eye to eye on everything.

There is something to be said for gathering together. In fact, the Bible mandates it. Denominations are good because of the administration being able to hold the pastor accountable. But Jesus never meant for his church to be a "club with members."

Quick story. I wanted to be a "member" of a small country church a while back. I felt back then my membership in this church would be a stepping-stone to leadership, and thereby growth as a disciple. Instead, I was flatly rejected because I didn't have a "letter of recommendation" from another church from the same denomination.

I was devastated, not only for me but for my small family. It shook my faith to the core. Since then I have realized we don't need denominations, church buildings or even pastors. We need each other. And most of all, we need Jesus.

 

[DesertWanderer]

I've heard unbelievers say they don't attend church because the church is full of hypocrites, which is usually a cop out and they have no interest in going to church anyway.

Please show me in the Bible where it says we must "go to church." And before you turn to that go-to passage about not forsaking the assembly, we have to realize what the terms "assembly" or "gathering" really mean. I am sure Paul was not talking about constructing a separate building, burdening the disciples to pay for it, having it be the only gathering place, or putting one guy in charge of it.

No, I think this is what Jesus had in mind for His church:

All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Acts 2: 44-47

Although it wasn't perfect, I am of the belief that this way of "assembling" is much better than what we are doing today.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

Churches will be gone soon. Some have already started to move to the dark side. Those that compromise and tolerate homosexuality or turn the church into a business are not real churches anymore.

" when you see all these things happen, see that you are not troubled for these things must take place"

 

[TheIndianGirl]

Going to church is not required but it is important. Gathering with a small gathering of people is not really the same as attending a church; it is like attending a small group that is typically available at church. Being part of a congregation/bigger church versus a small group has different purpose. If meeting with a small group, does someone there really know the Bible to give a teaching/sermon? It is important important to have a pastor who is experienced and studied at an accredited seminary. People who do not know the Bible well and end up being leaders of their gathering may end up being dangerous. This is how we get weird cults (Waco, Charles Manson, etc.) and people who misinterpret the Bible.

 

[Lynx]

no excuses allowed for God's called, elect, chosen... we are required to pay our way, -
not sleeping on a pew, or pretending to pay a due, but living out our calling in Love and sacrifice
for those whom He has bound us with into HIS-HOLY-LOVE...

That's totally inexcusable on your church's part. Disgraceful. And I am sorry. I bet if you asked, someone would step up. I will pray that you find the courage to ask, and someone in your congregation will act on your behalf. All God's blessings to you.

Wow, okay. Next time I have a stomach bug I'll go to church anyway, barf on somebody and get the whole congregation infected.

Whatever happened to the love and grace part of christianity?

 

[DesertWanderer]

Wow, okay. Next time I have a stomach bug I'll go to church anyway, barf on somebody and get the whole congregation infected.

I'm not sure what this reply has to do with someone not being able to find a ride to church. I think it would be better if you read the entire post, that way you are not taking things out of context. Blessings to you.

 

[DesertWanderer]

majority of sermons ((in my experience)) are 30 min or less & could have been condensed to 15. whole services typically last 1 hour, with half of it being music, announcements and collecting money.

I agree. The whole concept of "church service" is flawed at best.

to me, obviously, this is no way to be 'fed' or 'discipled' adequately

I agree with this also. True discipleship requires more than one hour a week spread out over hundreds (or even thousands) of people.

an actual teacher behind a pulpit is extraordinarily difficult to find, and one that's willing to teach from that dais as though he's not speaking to babes the whole time, harder still.

In the current church model, there is very little room for growth, since only one person is allowed to speak. In the early church, everyone had a verse of scripture, a song to share, or a simple testimonial. In our church today, you get a "vote" once a year (provided you're a member).

there's a lot to be said for smaller-group Bible studies outside of what i like to call 'the sunday morning big show' -- but the really disheartening thing is that when churches do have such opportunities, only a very small % of the people that nominally 'attend' the church are ever willing to take part in them.

If all of the churches in the U.S. decided to sell their buildings and give all the money to the poor, I am convinced there would only be the small percentile you allude to left standing. We as Christians sometimes don't want to think of there being so few who get saved. However, Jesus (as He often did) put it very plainly:

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. Matt. 7:13-14

if you want more than this, that sadly puts you in a shrinking minority, i'm afraid.
if you have more than this -- blessed

I am optimistic. I think we are going to see people, churches, congregations, and pastors start to think outside the box. We are already seeing house churches pop up everywhere around the world. The internet also offers us a way (such as what we are doing now) to fellowship in very unique ways. Take heart; nothing is over. The revival is just getting started!

 

[tourist]

I'm not sure what this reply has to do with someone not being able to find a ride to church. I think it would be better if you read the entire post, that way you are not taking things out of context. Blessings to you.

He may have a stomach viris.