Sorry for the double post, everyone... I was just thinking about the fact that in 1994, I actually did go back to my original orphanage. I was with a tour for adoptees and we were able to visit the children's rooms a few times while we were there.
The first time, I held a little girl, about 6 months old (which is how old I was when I was adopted.) One of the house mothers let me take her for about 10 minutes... I talked to her and sang to her (poor thing was probably traumatized), but when we had to leave, I gave her back to the caretaker... and that little girl kicked and screamed as if the world was ending... she wanted to come back to ME and was actively pushing the house mother away. Not having children of my own, I was shocked that a child so small could feel a bond in so little of a time, even with a culture and language barrier.
The second time I got to meet a set of identical twin girls who were 4 years old. One twin was extremely happy, but did NOT want to be picked up or approached at all. The other was the exact opposite--I didn't even notice there were twins present until I saw this second girl clinging to a doorpost, looking up at everyone. She was very obviously used to being overlooked for the more outgoing children.
I knelt down with her and talked to her at eye level (this was in Korea--I only speak English, so the poor girl had NO idea what I was saying), and gently picked her up. I had to physically put her hands on my shoulders and as soon as I did, she put her head down next to mine and wrapped both arms around me as if she hadn't been picked up in a lifetime, but always longed to be. I was totally heartbroken. Even writing this is making me a little shaky inside. And when we left, this little girl followed me to the entrance way with sad eyes, looking up at me and held out her arms as if to say, "Why are you leaving me? I'll do anything if you'll just take me where you're going." Needless to say, I cried continuously every night for the next three nights.
I asked the people there about sponsoring her and her twin--turns out, they were already adopted, praise God, and just waiting on all the papers to go through. It was the most awful feeling though... wishing you could leave any material possession you owned behind in order to take as many of those kids home as you could.