kissing...

[bonnie2]

Oh and one more thing, I believe God saves whoever He wants to. It's His work in a person, drawing them to Himself- that's Biblical, I could show you if you'd like. So I'm not that concerned that if I try to be as holy/ separate from sin as I can, it will turn people off from the Gospel. Yes, God uses me and other Christians to do His work in people's lives, but ultimately, anyone He wants to be saved will be saved. If someone I work with, for example, sees me living differently than they do, and God determines to save that person, He may use my different-ness to actually work on them- make them want what I have, or something. I don't claim to know how God works on people, but I'm just saying, there's ultimatelly nothing we as Christians can do to hinder that as long as we are trying to further it. God will convict people's hearts of their need for salvation, even if we make a mistake in the way we present it or the way we present ourselves. God is more concerned about me being personally holy (reflecting Him that way) than about someone not thinking I'm "nuts" (nowhere in the Bible does He say, now, make sure they don't think you're nuts).

 

[Shard]

Oh and one more thing, I believe God saves whoever He wants to. It's His work in a person, drawing them to Himself- that's Biblical, I could show you if you'd like. So I'm not that concerned that if I try to be as holy/ separate from sin as I can, it will turn people off from the Gospel. Yes, God uses me and other Christians to do His work in people's lives, but ultimately, anyone He wants to be saved will be saved. If someone I work with, for example, sees me living differently than they do, and God determines to save that person, He may use my different-ness to actually work on them- make them want what I have, or something. I don't claim to know how God works on people, but I'm just saying, there's ultimatelly nothing we as Christians can do to hinder that as long as we are trying to further it. God will convict people's hearts of their need for salvation, even if we make a mistake in the way we present it or the way we present ourselves. God is more concerned about me being personally holy (reflecting Him that way) than about someone not thinking I'm "nuts" (nowhere in the Bible does He say, now, make sure they don't think you're nuts).

True, but no one listens to crazy people. There has to be a balance. If you are trying to be a witness people are just going to ignore someone they view as crazy. Which accomplishes nothing. Im not saying conform yourself to the world, but be aware of your witness. Just dont show up on a corner and scream at people.lol everyone makes fun of them.

 

[bonnie2]

True, but no one listens to crazy people.

Wouldn't you say they will listen if God wants them to?

 

[bonnie2]

True, but no one listens to crazy people. There has to be a balance. If you are trying to be a witness people are just going to ignore someone they view as crazy. Which accomplishes nothing. Im not saying conform yourself to the world, but be aware of your witness. Just dont show up on a corner and scream at people.lol everyone makes fun of them.

Of course. I wouldn't scream. I'm not saying to act stupid.
This discussion was about living differently than them, and then some will probaly think you're crazy, cause you're missing out on all the fun....

 

[lil-rush]

but a kiss tells you a lot about a person.

like what?

To be honest I think saying kissing is "evil" is absolutely crazy... In fact that is the classic example why non believers don't want to believe b/c they think christians are all nuts.. and they want nothing to do with that.

I never called kissing evil. nonbelievers will think what they want. I will not change my lifestyle just because a nonbeliever thinks I'm crazy. Some nonbelievers also think Christians' view on fornication is crazy. Should Christians start having sex before marriage in order to appease the nonbelievers' minds?

 

[lil-rush]

Oh and one more thing, I believe God saves whoever He wants to. It's His work in a person, drawing them to Himself- that's Biblical, I could show you if you'd like. So I'm not that concerned that if I try to be as holy/ separate from sin as I can, it will turn people off from the Gospel. Yes, God uses me and other Christians to do His work in people's lives, but ultimately, anyone He wants to be saved will be saved. If someone I work with, for example, sees me living differently than they do, and God determines to save that person, He may use my different-ness to actually work on them- make them want what I have, or something. I don't claim to know how God works on people, but I'm just saying, there's ultimatelly nothing we as Christians can do to hinder that as long as we are trying to further it. God will convict people's hearts of their need for salvation, even if we make a mistake in the way we present it or the way we present ourselves. God is more concerned about me being personally holy (reflecting Him that way) than about someone not thinking I'm "nuts" (nowhere in the Bible does He say, now, make sure they don't think you're nuts).

Good post. This is very true. God is almighty, and He can turn a hard heart into a soft heart.

 

[Rissa77]

Awesome story I just read:

My wedding day... and yes it's true.


I was recently asked if I had kissed other girls before my wedding day, this was my response letter:

nah its not personal at all... its a shining moment in the history of my life

Yeah I HAD kissed girls before Nicky. The way it all came about was that I wanted to stay pure till I was married, and I felt that the longer the list of 'have dones' before marriage, the shorter the list of 'special intimacies' was afterwards.

I had two girlfriends in my time previous, and I always wanted to stay pure, but thought that kissing was ok. That was where we would stop... but sure enough, kissing would turn to pashing, would turn to make outs and pretty soon you find yourself too far----edited----. You'd then go through a whole cycle of guilt, blame and shame, you'd make promises to never go there again... and pretty soon you'd be too far----edited---- again. I broke up with my first girlfriend over it... It got to the point where I had to decide between purity and my relationship... and just being in that position makes you feel like you dont respect the other person and things fall apart pretty quickly.

So I went for ages without a girlfriend over it... and then when I decided to try again and have a healthy relationship, I found myself very quickly sexually back where I left off in the previous relationship. So I broke it off.

I found that even though I had died a thousand deaths over my impurity with my first relationship, and sworn it all off... I STILL went back there again in my second. So I faced facts, I had no self control, and simply could not be in a relationship under the same terms again because I had proved It didnt work.

So for ages I swore off dating. I started bagging dating out. "Whats the difference between dating and friendship?" I would ask people. The bottom line was, if you were dating, you were allowed to kiss eachother. If you werent then you couldnt. "Dating is just an excuse to kiss!"

That's really all it was. I discovered that when people date eachother, they get it into their heads like it changes the rules or something, they own eachother, and theyre allowed to treat eachother different other than friends... they then get all excited over the horemone rush the touchy-feel gives them, and girls think that's called 'Love'. When in truth... its just horemones, and horemones wear off after time.

But friendship is the important thing... ----edited-----. If you want to know wether a relationship can stand the test of time, you need to know if it will stand without sex. There is absolutely no way of knowing this without abstaining. If it you discover the relationship can stand, the moment you bring sex into the picture your relationship becomes iron clad. At that point there are far fewer insecurities, and the sex is so much more intimate, trusting, loving, open and honest that its a thousand times better.

So then Nicky came along. We were friends for about a year before we actually 'dated'... but I had said "I don't have self control, I want to get married as a virgin, and if we kiss, we won't make it to the wedding, or probably won't even get married because of lack of respect for eachother... so if you kiss me, I'm dumping you on the spot and it's over forever. I mean it. My word and character is more important than a girlfriend."

Nicky was happy with that arrangement. It was more than a new thing for her as she had had several relationships in the past that were stocko standard worldy relationships... that fell apart and left her feeling used and hollow. When she found a man that wanted to know her, and love her for who she was and not for her (incredible!) body, of course she fell head over heels in love with me. She in fact was the one that enforced the rule better than I did. I was the ideas man, she was the follow through gal.

So I married her.

And I tell you what... that honeymoon night was like a nuclear bomb going off in my head. Wo...ow. It was the best...thing...ever.

Ben.


There's a video of them too: YouTube - First Kiss on the Wedding Day! - Ben Csikos


I hope not all people have to learn their restrictions based on past mistakes. I learned because I saw emotional attachment long before a relationship developed to kissing. The shoulder wrap and hair play was enough to get me emotionally blinded. ( http://christianchat.com/christian-young-adults-forum/17577-kissing.html#post353775 ) But no matter what.. the lesson here is grace!! GRACE is essential whether you're a kissing virgin or a kissing guru. Kissing may not by bad for you, but it's bad for me. Know your God-set limits. And accept the grace.

 

[Mysterymark]

Wow! Thanks for that story Rissa77 . I am so glad that I found this thread because Its definitely something I needed. I have been struggling with sexual sins in my relationships, and I realize that I have no self control, but yet I wasn't willing to choose not to kiss in order to safeguard myself from sinning in the future. I was all about how it felt, but it always ended in ruin. The last person I dated, I dated for about 9 months and we were great for each other until sex came into our lives. It all started off with us kissing, and then it progressed to making out, then all of a sudden we were doing things we never would have dreamed we would have done with each other, and planned not to do. After that, a big part of our relationship was a constant struggle with not doing sexual things with each other, but we would always end up doing them again because we gave into our wants when the situation arose.

Tonight I am making the commitment that I will not ever kiss someone again till my wedding night because for me, it opens up Pandora's box. I love God, but sexual immorality keeps getting in the way of my relationship with him, and with my relationships with people and just my life in general. Nothing good comes from sex before marriage.

There are many people that I have gained a high respect for from this thread alone, and it is very encouraging!

And Rissa, I hope you find the man you are looking for . I one day hope to find the woman that God put for me as well, but for now I will not worry too much about it, and I will just continue to build up friendships and my faith xD.

 

[Rissa77]

Wow... it took 9 months for this thread to be awoken from archive death, and this happens. I love when God shows His glory!

Mark, I'm so happy for you! God is going to bless you incredibly for it, I guarantee you. Your sacrifice and obedience to what God has for you, YOU!, will come back in blessings seven-fold! Walk in grace! I'm slowly learning what grace means.. it's something too big for me. I don't get it. I've heard it wasn't simple, and I didn't believe it... our carnality just can't take it. Grace. Ha.

That is my message to all those who read this thread after so many months and may see conflicting messages... walk in grace. Whether kissing is wrong or right is up to you and God. Follow His plan, and walk in grace.

 

[Mysterymark]

Thanks Rissa! Ive been doing a lot of thinking about my life in the past few hours, and I am feeling like God is already changing things in my life.... I mean, I have had this huge plan for my whole life that Ive had for awhile but all of a sudden I feel like I'm being called to go away to a Christian College when I had never planned to do anything like that... Things are changing inside me, and I hope that they continue

This site has been immensely helpful to me! And I know that doing what God wants me to do will only bless me in the long run xD.

Not sure what walking in grace means, but I hope to learn . Can you tell me what it means to you?

 

[Rissa77]

The simple answer to your question would be this... knowing you're a sinner, and that you can't be perfect, but God's sacrifice makes you clean so you can come to Him ANYTIME. And that seems simple... but we rarely really take it in. When it comes to sin, we don't just feel bad, but we take on guilt and shame that draws us (or at least me; amen?) farther from God's presence. We feel too bad to fully worship Him. We feel like we have it on us all the time or we feel like we can never overcome. But the point of the veil being torn is that we can go to Him! Yes, repentance is important, but praise and worship brings us to repentance. It can't come first. Biblical proof? Order of service for the Jewish tabernacle. Praise was FIRST. Worship was during. Sacrifice, repentance, and atonement came at once, then more and deeper worship. Then the prayers for intercession. Then more praise and worship.

Grace is the covering, the washing, the lifting up, and the leading... the blood brings it, completes it, fulfills it...

and there's so much more I haven't learned yet. This is a recent revelation to me.

Oh and here's a new one.. haha... learned this tonight... Grace is meant to reveal God's GLORY.

 

[Mysterymark]

The simple answer to your question would be this... knowing you're a sinner, and that you can't be perfect, but God's sacrifice makes you clean so you can come to Him ANYTIME. And that seems simple... but we rarely really take it in. When it comes to sin, we don't just feel bad, but we take on guilt and shame that draws us (or at least me; amen?) farther from God's presence. We feel too bad to fully worship Him. We feel like we have it on us all the time or we feel like we can never overcome. But the point of the veil being torn is that we can go to Him! Yes, repentance is important, but praise and worship brings us to repentance. It can't come first. Biblical proof? Order of service for the Jewish tabernacle. Praise was FIRST. Worship was during. Sacrifice, repentance, and atonement came at once, then more and deeper worship. Then the prayers for intercession. Then more praise and worship.

Grace is the covering, the washing, the lifting up, and the leading... the blood brings it, completes it, fulfills it...

and there's so much more I haven't learned yet. This is a recent revelation to me.

Oh and here's a new one.. haha... learned this tonight... Grace is meant to reveal God's GLORY.

Hmm, this is definitely a new one for me! And yes its definitely not just you. So amen to that. But for instance my struggle with sexual sins definitely just made me carry guilt and shame, and it was like I didn't really feel like I could go to God after doing something so sinful, and I definitely didn't feel like I could talk to any person about it because of my shame. And during all this, I did get farther and farther away from God. Basically to the point where it was like, I knew what I believed but I didn't even care. I just wanted what I wanted, and I was selfish and foolish.

Can you explain to me the difference between praise and worship??? I never really understood that .

 

[preschoolteacher24]

simple kissing ok but lot of people and i agree say no passionate kissing that can lead too more

 

[sf11change]

I think it would be a little awkward to go from your first kiss to sex all on your wedding day..

 

[Mysterymark]

I think it would be a little awkward to go from your first kiss to sex all on your wedding day..

I disagree with you on that one. I mean I guess it could be but for me, I am just gunna be excited that my wife and I will be able to finally have that in our relationship and give each other that part of our lives. And its like, ive kissed girls before so its definitely not going to feel awkward, it will just feel like a freedom has been granted lol....

 

[Mysterymark]

and to add to what I just said, weather or not it is awkward, is not what is important. Whats important is to safeguard yourself from sinning and then giving your wife something very special when you get married

 

[goth4god]

I think it would be a little awkward to go from your first kiss to sex all on your wedding day..

there is no rule you have to 'do it' on your wedding night.
if you feel awkward about it, I am sure your significant other would understand and you could take steps toward it so it.
cuz I havent kissed and I am not kissing til my wedding day

 

[sf11change]

I think kissing is a part of the affection that changes a friendship to a relationship/potential marriage.. Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes love can't always be shown by telling someone. A sweet kiss can say so much to me. But I also applaud anyone that chooses to abstain from everything before marriage. That takes a lot of strength.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Question to ask yourself before you consider kissing someone.


-Do i really want to risk getting cooties

 

[Tahiri_Veila]

I am fifteen as of last month, and in my opinion my age is too young to date, let alone kiss. However, I still have opinions on the matter, and have in fact written an article on purity for girls my age. My dating standards are to be technically no dating. I want to court the young man who is to be my husband when the time comes, and God brings him to me, but I'm not going to "try out" guys so to speak, hoping one of them will be "the one" because I know God will help me find my soul mate. I see the point of and advantages of not kissing before married, but I think in my case not kissing before marriage probably won't be a concern. Yes, I agree that it awakens desires that are for inside of marriage, but since I have no interest in guys whatsoever now, I don't believe that lustful thinking will be a problem for me when I am older.