I wonder that to , no sign of joy...
In fact , no rejoicing at all , no praising Him , just dreary no hope in the dark holes they dig...
...xox...
Now now. Luckily (I speak for myself also) we are made righteous because God justified us, and that I believe is grace defined. We all have our shortcomings and imperfections. Please be careful not to use a self made standard with your judgement. Legalism is the gospels enemy. I do many many imperfect things constantly. You might even say that I am a habitual prodigal son. If he is a child of God he is equipped to overcome.
I understand your zeal in spreading what you believe is the truth of the gospel.
I have discovered that the sin of a child of God is designed to draw him back to God in appreciation, love and humility.
What about loving your enemies? Praying for those who despite fully use you? And all the other impossible feats mentioned in the Sermon on the Mount?
The Sermon on the Mount is not to be preached as a tortuous pathway to salvation. No, the Sermon on the Mount is to be preached with all of its rigors to abolish any Hope's of self righteousness.
I hope you find your peace my dear brother.