Who All Would Like to See a Matchmaking Thread Here in Singles?

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Would You Like to a Matchmaking Thread in the Singles Forum?

  • Sure -- I love living dangerously! I would qualify and would like to participate.

    Votes: 17 53.1%
  • Sure -- I don't qualify/do not want to be matched but want to see everyone else's craziness.

    Votes: 4 12.5%
  • Maybe -- It would depend on... (please state your concerns in a post.)

    Votes: 4 12.5%
  • Maybe -- I have an idea for a different approach (please tell us your ideas in the thread.)

    Votes: 2 6.3%
  • Absolutely Not -- Matchmaking is of the devil. Besides, my Aunt Bertha already tried!

    Votes: 3 9.4%
  • I'm Not Touching This With a 10-Foot Pole -- I don't qualify and wouldn't read such a thread!

    Votes: 2 6.3%
  • Open for Discussion -- I could go either way, and here's why... (talk to us.) :)

    Votes: 5 15.6%

  • Total voters
    32

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#1
Hey All,

A long time ago, a brilliant CC member (who, unfortunately, isn't here anymore) wrote a "Shipping" (matchmaking) thread, and started it out by naming two people here whom he thought might be a good match for each other -- then invited everyone else to do the same.

As you can imagine, the thread absolutely exploded. Matchmaking seems to be an inevitable part of the single life, so hey, why not have a little fun with it here? I'm writing this initial thread to see if there's any interest, but more importantly, if we can avoid some of the pitfalls we came across last time, because some of them were quite controversial at the time. I'm always the type who is trying to "Build a Better Mouse Trap", but I guess in this case, it would be "Building a Better Spouse Trap." ;)

In all seriousness, the thread would be more about meeting people and making friendships, and definitely should NOT be seen some kind of ultimate dating medium. In fact, if people said, "Hey, I think so and so (of the same gender) seem to have a lot in common and could be really good (platonic, of course!) friends," I would welcome that as well, because making friends is what Singles is all about.

Now, I don't mean to douse all the fun, but I do think we might need to discuss a few things in advance.

Here are some of the problems we had the last time:

1. Younger members who wanted to participate (one was about 16.)

Anyone here is free to take the idea of a matchmaking thread, make their own rules (within CC standards) and run with it, but for anything I write, I'm going to have an age restriction of 20 years old and over. This is just what I comfortable with. Now, if my PM box gets overrun messages from a mob of angry teenagers, I will gently explain to them that they have not only a Teen Forum, but also a Young Adults Forum, and even the freedom to start their own thread here in the Singles Forum if they so choose.

2. Unintended matches between those with large age gaps.

Many of us here don't have our age listed, and even when we did, sometimes a member would suggest two users who had a very wide age range between them (for example, about 20 years.) It usually wasn't on purpose -- people just didn't know how old everyone was.

My proposed idea, if enough people are interested, is that I'd write a 2nd thread asking for people who actively wanted to participate and would give them a list of "Help us get to know you better" statements to give us something to work with. I know some people might not want to give their age so I'm thinking that just asking them to state an age range ("25-30".) What do you think?

This second ("Getting to Know You") thread would also be meant to hopefully curb the next two problems:

3. Last time, some of the people who were "matched" already had significant others in real life. This set off another big debate because some people said that it was all in good fun (true) and that as long as someone wasn't married, they were fair game (sorry, I can't get on board with this.)

If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't want online strangers to be "matching" him with other women, even if it was just a "joke". I don't mean to sound like a dictator, but if I'm taking the time to write threads, I would also be setting the guidelines from past experience. I would ask that only completely unattached singles would participate. Speaking of participation...

4. Some people were "matched" -- but they weren't interested in participating at all, and people brought up their names because they were well-known at the time. A thread in which would-be participants answered voluntarily would help us know exactly what the pool was that we had to choose from. Anyone who didn't want to be matched or doesn't qualify just wouldn't answer the "Who Wants to Be Matched" thread.

And finally...

5. Although the past "Shipping" thread was meant to be in good fun and just meant as a way of possible forming friendships and getting to know people, it was probably inevitable that some people really WERE hopeful for a "REAL" match (someone they would actually start dating,) and felt genuinely sad and let down when the thread didn't help them find anyone.

People were also (understandably) mentioned as a match for anyone, or of they only got one match, while someone else was matched several times (this honestly happened because some members are more well-known and/or share more than others -- it was impossible to match people who hardly ever posted and/or never shared anything about themselves in their posts.)

That being said, would anyone still be interested? I know it probably seems like a killjoy to bring up all the problems before the attempt is even made, but I'm hoping against hope that we could still have fun and yet avoid any major disasters!

Thoughts, suggestions, and solutions are welcome. :)


Just to get an idea of how many might be interested, I'm including a poll (which is anonymous and multiple choice,) but please don't let that be a substitute for sharing your thoughts here on the thread. The more we get smoothed out in advance, the better I think it might go.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#2
For anyone who votes "Maybe", Open for Discussion", or just has general questions and concerns, may I ask that you please share them with us here in the written thread.

I would need to know what you're thinking in order to try to address/incorporate your ideas when I sit down to try to write the threads (or if anyone else wants to write them or their own threads, I'm not trying to make this some kind of monopoly!) :D
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#3
Well it is not unheard of to find love here in cc, my adoptive mom Jesuslives and tourist found each other here in cc and got married I wish I could have been to the wedding I would be the little guy bawling in tears even just imagining the wedding for them is making me tear up.

So who knows if God brought them together then maybe he is the one who lead you to this idea. I would be all for it and would participate (though don't get your hopes up not many can handle my greatness:cool:) Plus if even one couple is brought together from it then I would be overjoyed I am a sucker from romance.so lets see resume greatness and cheesy love story movie buddy yep looks good :p
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,894
113
#4
Hey All,

A long time ago, a brilliant CC member (who, unfortunately, isn't here anymore) wrote a "Shipping" (matchmaking) thread, and started it out by naming two people here whom he thought might be a good match for each other -- then invited everyone else to do the same.

As you can imagine, the thread absolutely exploded. Matchmaking seems to be an inevitable part of the single life, so hey, why not have a little fun with it here? I'm writing this initial thread to see if there's any interest, but more importantly, if we can avoid some of the pitfalls we came across last time, because some of them were quite controversial at the time. I'm always the type who is trying to "Build a Better Mouse Trap", but I guess in this case, it would be "Building a Better Spouse Trap." ;)

In all seriousness, the thread would be more about meeting people and making friendships, and definitely should NOT be seen some kind of ultimate dating medium. In fact, if people said, "Hey, I think so and so (of the same gender) seem to have a lot in common and could be really good (platonic, of course!) friends," I would welcome that as well, because making friends is what Singles is all about.

Now, I don't mean to douse all the fun, but I do think we might need to discuss a few things in advance.

Here are some of the problems we had the last time:

1. Younger members who wanted to participate (one was about 16.)

Anyone here is free to take the idea of a matchmaking thread, make their own rules (within CC standards) and run with it, but for anything I write, I'm going to have an age restriction of 20 years old and over. This is just what I comfortable with. Now, if my PM box gets overrun messages from a mob of angry teenagers, I will gently explain to them that they have not only a Teen Forum, but also a Young Adults Forum, and even the freedom to start their own thread here in the Singles Forum if they so choose.

2. Unintended matches between those with large age gaps.

Many of us here don't have our age listed, and even when we did, sometimes a member would suggest two users who had a very wide age range between them (for example, about 20 years.) It usually wasn't on purpose -- people just didn't know how old everyone was.

My proposed idea, if enough people are interested, is that I'd write a 2nd thread asking for people who actively wanted to participate and would give them a list of "Help us get to know you better" statements to give us something to work with. I know some people might not want to give their age so I'm thinking that just asking them to state an age range ("25-30".) What do you think?

This second ("Getting to Know You") thread would also be meant to hopefully curb the next two problems:

3. Last time, some of the people who were "matched" already had significant others in real life. This set off another big debate because some people said that it was all in good fun (true) and that as long as someone wasn't married, they were fair game (sorry, I can't get on board with this.)

If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't want online strangers to be "matching" him with other women, even if it was just a "joke". I don't mean to sound like a dictator, but if I'm taking the time to write threads, I would also be setting the guidelines from past experience. I would ask that only completely unattached singles would participate. Speaking of participation...

4. Some people were "matched" -- but they weren't interested in participating at all, and people brought up their names because they were well-known at the time. A thread in which would-be participants answered voluntarily would help us know exactly what the pool was that we had to choose from. Anyone who didn't want to be matched or doesn't qualify just wouldn't answer the "Who Wants to Be Matched" thread.

And finally...

5. Although the past "Shipping" thread was meant to be in good fun and just meant as a way of possible forming friendships and getting to know people, it was probably inevitable that some people really WERE hopeful for a "REAL" match (someone they would actually start dating,) and felt genuinely sad and let down when the thread didn't help them find anyone.

People were also (understandably) mentioned as a match for anyone, or of they only got one match, while someone else was matched several times (this honestly happened because some members are more well-known and/or share more than others -- it was impossible to match people who hardly ever posted and/or never shared anything about themselves in their posts.)

That being said, would anyone still be interested? I know it probably seems like a killjoy to bring up all the problems before the attempt is even made, but I'm hoping against hope that we could still have fun and yet avoid any major disasters!

Thoughts, suggestions, and solutions are welcome. :)


Just to get an idea of how many might be interested, I'm including a poll (which is anonymous and multiple choice,) but please don't let that be a substitute for sharing your thoughts here on the thread. The more we get smoothed out in advance, the better I think it might go.
I love your post! Hahahha.

What do we have to lose? It’s all for fun. I say do it :)

Plus, I already have a couple of potentials who I think should be shipped off ;)
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#5
I love your post! Hahahha.

What do we have to lose? It’s all for fun. I say do it :)

Plus, I already have a couple of potentials who I think should be shipped off ;)
OOOOH you do now? do tell hehehe... but personally if I did find someone and that is a big if I would prefer it was in the okc area so that when the virus settles down I don't have to save up over 500 dollars just go see her. Worth it of course but very difficult
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,894
113
#6
OOOOH you do now? do tell hehehe... but personally if I did find someone and that is a big if I would prefer it was in the okc area so that when the virus settles down I don't have to save up over 500 dollars just go see her. Worth it of course but very difficult
Not telling.....yet :p
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
3,645
2,865
113
#7
I think the notion of the idea is fine, but the practicality of it is another question. By the time you remove the too young, the married/dating and the uninterested how many people will be left?
And, inevitably, people who do not want to be involved (or shouldn't be) will be dragged into it, no matter what rules you put in place. There are Always those people that believe they are special and rules don't apply to them.
Just as inevitable will be those who Want to be involved and simply aren't included, whether they're active or not. Because at the root of this, whether intended or not, it's more of a popularity thing. There's no way to avoid the clique-ish nature of it. During the original rounds of these threads, despite being one of the most active posters, and well known, i was not popular and remember days and pages go by without mention and it made me feel left out, even though i was very active. Now i actually am 'out' so i wouldn't care not being mentioned.

So if the thread is going to be made, just make it. Trying to put so many regulations and limitations and rules won't work as people don't follow them anyways. And people will feel left out because you can't make a rule to include people, which would be ignored even if you did.

This thread sounds like an attempt to please everyone in a new thread, and that's simply not going to happen. Period. Nor does putting so many restrictions on a thread allow for it to feel fun. Having to double check the rules and the list of approved people just makes it feel stiff and regulated.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#8
I think the notion of the idea is fine, but the practicality of it is another question. By the time you remove the too young, the married/dating and the uninterested how many people will be left?
And, inevitably, people who do not want to be involved (or shouldn't be) will be dragged into it, no matter what rules you put in place. There are Always those people that believe they are special and rules don't apply to them.
Just as inevitable will be those who Want to be involved and simply aren't included, whether they're active or not. Because at the root of this, whether intended or not, it's more of a popularity thing. There's no way to avoid the clique-ish nature of it. During the original rounds of these threads, despite being one of the most active posters, and well known, i was not popular and remember days and pages go by without mention and it made me feel left out, even though i was very active. Now i actually am 'out' so i wouldn't care not being mentioned.

So if the thread is going to be made, just make it. Trying to put so many regulations and limitations and rules won't work as people don't follow them anyways. And people will feel left out because you can't make a rule to include people, which would be ignored even if you did.

This thread sounds like an attempt to please everyone in a new thread, and that's simply not going to happen. Period. Nor does putting so many restrictions on a thread allow for it to feel fun. Having to double check the rules and the list of approved people just makes it feel stiff and regulated.
I can understand the feeling of being left out I mean stephanie was the only girl that ever liked me that way and also the only one who I ever fell in love with, I mean being heartbroken is something I never experienced when we broke up and that pain was on an entirely different level than even my worst suffering in life.

But if God has someone out there for me I still believe in love and believe he will bring her to me. However even though I have known many girls in life I was one of those people who was never included ignored and left out so I know the feeling. Honestly I still think it is a good idea just not with so many rules and everyone should be included.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#9
Not telling.....yet :p
No worries no rush but hey if you ever want to spill I will be waiting lol but seriously though I wonder if there are actually plenty of people here who would find the one for them I really hope so
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
3,645
2,865
113
#10
I can understand the feeling of being left out I mean stephanie was the only girl that ever liked me that way and also the only one who I ever fell in love with, I mean being heartbroken is something I never experienced when we broke up and that pain was on an entirely different level than even my worst suffering in life.

But if God has someone out there for me I still believe in love and believe he will bring her to me. However even though I have known many girls in life I was one of those people who was never included ignored and left out so I know the feeling. Honestly I still think it is a good idea just not with so many rules and everyone should be included.
That's, essentially, what i was saying. Make it, or don't make it. But this set of rules won't work. And 'including everyone' won't work either, as nice as it would be if it would. Even in the old threads there were comments made about people being left out and no one acknowledged those left out still. Or most didn't, only a few did. After they were reminded.
Such is the nature of these kinds of threads. They only work for those who are well liked and popular. Being even just on the outskirts makes you exempt.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#11
Madame Seoulsearch,

Yes, but only if there’s much drama included😎.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#12
Madame Seoulsearch,

Yes, but only if there’s much drama included😎.
cc is the very definition of drama so we should be on cue and if not I can always stir up some innocently mild drama;)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#14
um...I am not taking any responsibilty for this...if you want to play matchmaker thats going to be up to you.
I wonder if you will get bonus points for the first child from these matches....? (jk)
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#15
um...I am not taking any responsibilty for this...if you want to play matchmaker thats going to be up to you.
I wonder if you will get bonus points for the first child from these matches....? (jk)
Well so far everyone seems to be divided about it. I will be honest I have never seen nor been on a thread like this so I am unaware of the history but it seems it does tend to hurt people so if it is done then we need to be able to make it where it doesn't do that.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#16
I havent heard of any certified matchmaker on CC I mean theres doesnt seem to be any kind of regsitration for it. You could be a celebrant but as far as I know ministers dont actually matchmake people, they just marry those who have already decided.

In churches what they used to do is hold dances, or balls (if well off) and thats what they did in the Bible as well but these days people dont really go for them. Its actually hard to find a partner at a dance. But then I havent been to one in a long time.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#17
I havent heard of any certified matchmaker on CC I mean theres doesnt seem to be any kind of regsitration for it. You could be a celebrant but as far as I know ministers dont actually matchmake people, they just marry those who have already decided.

In churches what they used to do is hold dances, or balls (if well off) and thats what they did in the Bible as well but these days people dont really go for them. Its actually hard to find a partner at a dance. But then I havent been to one in a long time.
Well sadly I don't dance mainly because I don't know how, at my highschool dance I went with my two best friends at the time they both couldn't get dates like me and we just sat at the punch table all night. But I admit there are two dances I always wanted to learn, the dance you see at balls which I don't know the name of and the tango.
I mean the tango for sure is one I wish I knew that fiery passion in every move is like your expressing your feelings for each other in every move
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
11,904
8,230
113
#18
It sounds like an interesting idea.
I guess @seoulsearch since you started the thread the first match should come from you (y)

So let the games begin............

 
S

Susanna

Guest
#19
Yeah, let the drama begin. No ones got suggestions?
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#20
Yeah, let the drama begin. No ones got suggestions?
I’m so impatient that I I’m responding to myself.

I think it’s only fair that the op, the fabulous madame S., comes first😀.

So, with whom should she hook up with?

If I wasn’t such an airhead I would have mentioned a name, but now I can’t remember anything about anyone here😄😞.