sex b4 marriage???

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M

MusicalMe

Guest
#41
#41
Yes, the Bible says it's wrong - however, I do think the Church needs to consider teaching more than just "God says don't" as a method of sex education. I grew up with the whole True Love Waits thing, and whereas I'm a definite advocate of saving sex for marriage, I don't see why the church seems terrified to address it.

When the church (and mind you, this may just be the churches I've had experience with, and not the church as a whole) says "Don't have sex because God says it's wrong and you could get pregnant or an STD" and then magazines and research and peers and practically the whole world talks about "safe sex" and all the methods of birth control and STD prevention, it's easy to say "Oh, well maybe it's not as dangerous and unhealthy as I was led to believe... and God will forgive me"

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: the church should be more active in sex education - more than just saying it's wrong and not to do it. Tell people how to deal with impulses, what to say to 'the world' when they say everyone's doing it, what to do when someone you really love pressures you for it, and ultimately WHY it's wrong (leads to broken relationships, etc).

By the way, did you know that a lot of teens think that having sex with a condom isn't really having sex? We can't leave the entirety of education up to the schools!
 
jjkg

jjkg

Senior Member
#42
May 25, 2005
109
2
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#42
Agree with ya, MusicalMe
 
PANCAKES

PANCAKES

Senior Member
#43
Apr 26, 2009
451
14
18
#43
I had to break up with a recent boyfriend after he started wanting sex. I told him I didn't until we were married, and he did propose to me, but had a hard time trying to wait and he clearly stated this to me many....many...many times. I got sick of it. He's not a Christian, and he said he doesn't think sex before marriage is wrong, when I clearly do. I broke up with him not too long ago, and after a short couple of days he came back to me begging for a second chance. Because I love him, I gave it to him. We made promises. I promised I would stop nagging him about Jesus, and he promised to stop asking for what I didn't want to do. He broke his promise and started asking again...saying that he's losing the "spark" in our relationship. and so I read something in the bible about being "unequally yoked" and took this as a sign from God to end it. I did, and that's where I stand right now... :] I'm happy with the decision too.

P.s: I think I hurt his feelings though xD....I told him I loved God more then him, which is 100% accurate; but it wasn't necessary. So I feel bad for that. But, oh well He'll live! :p
 
jjkg

jjkg

Senior Member
#44
May 25, 2005
109
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#44
Pancakes, I think that's awesome that your actions totally backed up your beliefs. Signs of a sincere faith!!! Some young christian man is going to be very fortunate to have you as a wife. That's the true beauty of a woman when she stands up for Christ and strives to be like Him. I know that was probably a difficult thing to go through, but a wonderful lesson in truly standing up for what you believe. Thank you.
 
arabian_princess

arabian_princess

Banned
#45
Jan 24, 2009
79
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#45
woman here get killed if they have sex without marrige even talking about it is scary
 
B

Baptistrw

Guest
#46
#46
PANCAKES said:
I had to break up with a recent boyfriend after he started wanting sex. I told him I didn't until we were married, and he did propose to me, but had a hard time trying to wait and he clearly stated this to me many....many...many times. I got sick of it. He's not a Christian, and he said he doesn't think sex before marriage is wrong, when I clearly do. I broke up with him not too long ago, and after a short couple of days he came back to me begging for a second chance. Because I love him, I gave it to him. We made promises. I promised I would stop nagging him about Jesus, and he promised to stop asking for what I didn't want to do. He broke his promise and started asking again...saying that he's losing the "spark" in our relationship. and so I read something in the bible about being "unequally yoked" and took this as a sign from God to end it. I did, and that's where I stand right now... :] I'm happy with the decision too.

P.s: I think I hurt his feelings though xD....I told him I loved God more then him, which is 100% accurate; but it wasn't necessary. So I feel bad for that. But, oh well He'll live! :p
Click to expand...
Yeah, one of the reasons why the Bible disapproves of unequal yokes. Glad you kept the faith and stood up for God and is values!
 
I

icilian

Guest
#47
#47
I don't know if it's at all relevant, but from a non-christian perspective, I don't have a problem with it..

Having said that, I think 'sex before you feel ready' is a major problem - with guys feeling pressured to have, and unmanly not to have had, whether they want to or not. I think it takes a certain sense of character to go through without giving into pressure to just for the sake of it, and i wish it was more prevalent. I think a lot of people wind up doing something they didn't really wanna do for kudos' sake.
 
J

jvcarb88

Guest
#48
#48
Well I think you should wait till you are married, I have had sex before marriage and if I could go back I would have made better choices, now hopefully god forgives me and still lets me meet a good girl that i can have a relationship with. Its hard but you have to be patient, and I wish I would have been more patient, and now im going to work on it and see what happens.
 
F

flutterfly

Guest
#49
#49
i guess it depends on the person aswell as beleif... like... personally i have donr some wrong things and like i learnt from them. even tho the bible does say you should do certain things, i feel that some things need to be done so people can learn and understand life.
i am quite new at being a christan and i might not seem like i am saying thigns rght... but what i feel is that its the individuals decicion and also like... if you dont do you wont learn... and people need to learn to widen theur understanding of the world
thats just how i feel... abd i know i have done against the bible, but it has taught me and i have learnt from them and now i will inderstand more.... idk this is just what i think, can you please let me know if i am wrong or whatever? haha cheers
 
polarguyinak

polarguyinak

Moderator
Staff member
#50
Jan 30, 2009
145
10
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#50
flutterfly said:
i guess it depends on the person aswell as beleif... like... personally i have donr some wrong things and like i learnt from them. even tho the bible does say you should do certain things, i feel that some things need to be done so people can learn and understand life.
i am quite new at being a christan and i might not seem like i am saying thigns rght... but what i feel is that its the individuals decicion and also like... if you dont do you wont learn... and people need to learn to widen theur understanding of the world
thats just how i feel... abd i know i have done against the bible, but it has taught me and i have learnt from them and now i will inderstand more.... idk this is just what i think, can you please let me know if i am wrong or whatever? haha cheers
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No ofense at all intended, but I see a major flaw in that logic. A parent gives guidlines to their children not to assert thier dominance, but to protect them. God does the same thing for us. There's a very good reason that BB guns say *DO NOT SHOOT AT FACE* If you absolutely insist on learning this by trying it out, be my guest, but you could have just listened to what was told. A lot of where we are told to stay away from is for the purpose of avoiding the consequences, which are often devestating, and sometimes irreversible. Fire teaches quite effectively NOT to play with fire.. but don't hand a baby a rattlesnake to learn for himself. Some ''mistakes'' are more critical to never make the ''first time''. The introduction of sin by disobeying God's law... even the very simple, seemingly inauspicious act of eating a fruit: had consequeces that are sickening to consider; not because God is malicious, but because humanity told God to mind his own business and let us do what WE want.
 
Moviefan2k4

Moviefan2k4

Banned
#51
Mar 18, 2009
190
2
0
#51
I don't know if anyone has addressed this yet, but it is related to the original topic, so bear with me a bit.

In mass society these days (especially American), a popular view has risen that some practices "aren't sex", and the supposed reasoning behind this is because there's no intercourse involved. At first, my reaction to this was "Say what?" Who in their right mind would think that something like oral sex (sorry if the mention of it offends anybody) "isn't really sex"? The very notion of that is ludicrous.

To drive the point home, here's a scenario for ya. Let's say that a man and woman are happily married. But one day, the husband comes home to find his wife in a sexual situation with another man. Would he really believer her, if she said "its not sex" because intercourse wasn't involved?

The reverse is also true. Let's say it's the wife who arrives home, only to find her husband being "serviced" by another woman? What are the odds that she'd really believe his "its not really sex" excuse, either? In both scenarios, the chances are practically zero; only an idiot would really accept such an explanation.

So, all of this naturally begs the following question: "Why would something like oral or manual sex be considered "not sex" while single, yet "definitely sex" once married? What possible reason would there be for such a drastic change of definition?" It's definitely something to think over.
 
polarguyinak

polarguyinak

Moderator
Staff member
#52
Jan 30, 2009
145
10
18
#52
That being said, in my reoccuring theme of ignoring the warnings God gives (and subsequently, the warnings of many OTHERS who have learned the same thing, rediculously painfully), I've found myself repeatedly learning things the hard way... not because I prefer it that way, but because I often bow to a lie... that whatever the consequece, it's probably not as bad as it's made out to be, and certainly won't outweigh the bennefit. If God told us to stay away from something, it's out of love. The liar tells you that it's because God doesn't want you to have something. Take MY warning in addition to God's; there are consequences to be faced - by you, and likely by others who don't have the luxury of making the call FOR you. Shame is a terrible way to entice people to do the right thing. But it IS shamefull to do the wrong thing! So just do the RIGHT thing...

I WANT to be right.. I have the Holy Spirit to TEACH me what is right, according to the Word. I don't HAVE to learn the hard way. Jesus promised that He will complete the work in me that He started - He will make me perfect in the end. In the mean time, why not honor Him by accepting what He says is right and wrong and live accordingly. Can you concieve of a problem resulting from following the ten commandments? I don't think even a liberal could honestly come up with a legitimate rebuke for that.

Pray for me when you read this, would you? I'd like to melt the mule-headedness away and become the faithful son that Jesus wants me to be. I'll pray the same for you, whoever is reading this...
 
A

amorelife

Guest
#53
#53
I personally believe no sex before marriage. I just can't understand why so many people sleep around like it's nothing. I want to be able to marry my husband and give him something no one else has had before him, and I would want him to be giving me the same thing. It would almost be like robbing a person of that option. Not all of us are brought up this way or chose to live that way. That is also why we are to be "not of this world". People of this world dabble in sex before marriage, and too many times get caught up in the deceptions that come along with it.
 
C

cpuaggie

Guest
#55
#55
Pre-marital sex is considered fornication in the Bible, which is expressly forbidden.

I Cor. 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Marriage is a symbol of Christ and the church. If we are to defile our body promiscuously before marriage, it violates that symbol. No sooner would Christ defile himself before his bride, the church should we defile ourselves and thereby violate that symbol. What example are we showing the rest of the world when we seek "youthful lusts" when we should flee those youthful lusts (II Tim. 2:22-Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.)? Therefore, I have made a commitment to the Lord and to my future wife to save myself for her, because only sex within the bonds of marriage is good in the sight of the Lord and she means that much to me.
 
A

ariannaaa

Guest
#56
#56
yeah i think no sex before marraige is pretty black and white in the bible.. as far as pressure to be affectionate in relationships, its hard to know where 'the line' is drawn. but i once heard someone say that it shouldn't be how close you can get to the line without crossing it, but how far from it you can stay. i thought that was great advice.
 
J

JohnnyOak

Guest
#57
#57
never had sex... don't even have a girl friend. I guess I am just a loner.. maybe someday I'll see the importance for a relationship.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#58
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#58
sex produces babies...... babies means nasty diapers screaming toddlers, grumpy teenagers and then irresponsible college kids..... and all of that you must have the money to pay for..... ... thats a good reason in itself to not have sex before your married and WHILE your married
 
J

JohnnyOak

Guest
#59
#59
Jaylynn good answer
 
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