I Think John tells us the answer
He said they were never of us, IF they were of us, they never would have departed.
Remember, Jesus said in that day, Many will come telling him how they cast out demons, Prophesied, and done many wonders (We can add speaking in tongues, Leading people to Christ and was on fire to that list) To depart for he never knew them.
If both Jesus sand John declare they were never of us, Then we should understand, They were never saved
They were not given ETERNAL LIFE. and th SEAL of the spirit only to have that removed..
They never had it to begin with.
OR. they are in a prodigal state. But even then (I was a prodigal for 5 years) I never stopped denying Jesus or what I was..
Only 5 years.
I would say I wished mine was only that. It was 15 years.
Every day of a prodical was miserable. It may be exteme but it was hell on earth for me. Separation from God.
But like you I never stopped denying Jesus but I couldn't deny what I thought I was.
What was I? A dirty miserable sinner, not loved by God because I was a sinner, a so called Christian who sinned. Not loved and would only be loved if I stopped sinning (full stop) and worked harder.
It's interesting you mention tongues. I sought someone out for help, they asked me if I spoke in tongues. I said no. They said that was evidence that I was not saved.
I carried that baggage for a long long long time. Very sad that the army of Jesus shoot the wounded.
I never ever denied Jesus. Called out every day "JESUS PLEASE HELP ME"
Even asked him to kill me so I would know where I was going, upstairs or downstairs.
Praise God he restored me. And I believe based in his timing and now I rejoice in what I went through.
Romans 8:28-30
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
He had to work good in all the things that were not good that led me to be a prodigal (sexually abused, thrown out by mum at 14, severe beatings as a child by mum, sexually abused by a so called Christian man who fostered me from 14 to 18 and so on)
But I rejoice and thank Jesus. He worked good in the shit pit of my life, he conforms me to the image of him and is continuing to do so.
Now I walk with people who are going through what I went through and I can only do so because I know what it is like.
I know that I thier fears, addictions and why they do what they do.
And I can walk with them.
I consider what I went through was for a purpose and that is to help others.
God is good and knows what he is doing and in his time.