Why Don't We Hear About Single Christian Women Looking for Husbands in Other Countries?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,517
5,452
113
#1
Hi there,

I was just thinking about the fact that I've often read about men who look for love online in foreign countries (meaning, for this thread, any country other than the one they are living in or identify with.) Several years ago in the Christian Chat Singles forum, we had a few middle-aged men (in their 50's) who were very enthusiastically encouraging Christian men to look for young brides in Asian countries. I remember one specifically saying that "American women are poison," and therefore, a man's best chance was to look overseas.

Over the years, I've personally known about 15 married couples in which the spouses were from completely different countries and cultures. In the past, I've written some threads about the unique challenges they've told me they face, but this thread is not about that.

Rather, I'd like to ask -- if Christian men feel led by God to seek young wives from other countries, why aren't Christian women doing the same?

As I've said, I've known some couples who fit this category, but it was always the husband who had actively pursued options in other countries, and not the wife. So why don't we see this in reverse? I've never met, or even read about, a single couple in which the woman was the one who was actively pursuing men in other countries through dating sites that advertise foreign spouses, etc. Why not? (I'm sure there must be a few out there, but why would it be so rare?)

* Is it because the men are seen as being the ones who should pursue, and therefore, women shouldn't be pursuing men? (If so, why,, and are they, allowed to pursue men within their own country?)

* Is it because more men are in a position to hunt for foreign spouses than women? (For example, they don't have kids or have enough leniency in their custody agreements to be able to pursue someone in another country.)

* Is it because women just aren't interested in this kind of option?

I would really be interested in hearing your feedback.

Please note -- I'm neither encouraging nor condoning this for either gender. If a person feels led by God to pursue a spouse in another country, who am I to say anything?

* Do you know of any couples in which the spouses come from completely different countries and/or cultures, or are you in such a marriage yourself?

* If so, was it the man or the woman who did the pursuing?


I know that duplicate threads are usually frowned upon, but I have posted this thread both here in the Family Forum and in the Singles Forum. I'm interested in what both singles and married have to say about this, and know that the best way to try to glean from both groups is to post in both forums.

Looking forward to an interesting discussion, and thank you for your time!
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
#2
Probably because most the foreign countries are extremely demonic and pagan as hell.
 

inukubo

Active member
Jun 27, 2019
169
166
43
45
#3
I would assume the fact that men are more natural risk-takers/hunters and women prefer more stability & security would have something to do with the disparity.
Personally, I would advise anyone to be very cautious about cross-cultural marriages unless you both know each others' languages and cultures very well. Marriage is hard enough without the additional communication barriers.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
1,330
113
#4
Well hopefully you don't mind me posting (as a single) in the family forum thread. I just happen to be here and the thread title caught my eye.

It's an interesting question. It seems uh, more dangerous somehow. I can't quite explain why, but I'll attempt.

Barring rather disheartening things like gold-digging from females from a foreign country or "using" a man in order to obtain citizenship (which I'm sure does occur) you kind of accept that as something that is a likelihood. There probably are sincere females that are legitimate believers and may have been led to that option for whatever reason despite the "grime" of having to basically put yourself up on a market (which is somewhat like online dating is for me to a much lesser degree btw). It still is somewhat pragmatic and I don't see it as a non-option entirely. My personal issue is the meeting itself in person and based off how much it costs to go back and forth to "court" it seems fraught with challenges that are probably insurmountable for most.

^That's for men seeking wives.


For a female seeking husbands, instead of a gold-digger/ulterior motivation you would now have a con-man to look out for and that some of these places are quite dangerous for females to visit. Men aren't trafficked and if they are, it is probably 1/100,000 as a 30+ adult, or something absurdly low.

Females it's quite the contrary. You'd have to fly the man over to court them to be safe and that would be incredibly expensive as you would basically have to buy him a life/living quarters near by to get to know him and vet him. Perhaps look into how often females get conned versus males. This isn't anything sexist, it's just that most con-men are men going after particular things...and the female cons are "usually" after a different prize...namely unlimited access to funds/privileges preying off desperation in a different way.

Males take advantage of females in different ways than females take advantage of men. Occasionally they are close, but generally speaking (as a woman) you could probably discern some differences.


Then again, a female would know "her" risks in a way that I couldn't properly speak to entirely being male.


It just seems WAY riskier. You also have the possibility that his culture is very male centric, to the point of subjugation of females, which is not Christ-like and even if he knows the Lord, there may be some bias and quite a few things to work though together that would be entirely unique in that situation...to the point where I guess it would be pointless to go further since this is hypothetical.


Interesting question. I rather enjoyed thinking about something that hasn't ever crossed my mind...but did you mean the U.S specifically? If so, see above ;) If not, then they already do that by being available to men in the U.S. Of course, the "actual" Christian field would be considerably more difficult to find, if not impossible without the Lord's direction/guidance.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
1,330
113
#5
Edited above from woman seeking wives to husbands lol. A bit glaring...alas.
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
18
#7
I would assume the fact that men are more natural risk-takers/hunters and women prefer more stability & security would have something to do with the disparity.
Personally, I would advise anyone to be very cautious about cross-cultural marriages unless you both know each others' languages and cultures very well. Marriage is hard enough without the additional communication barriers.
Good thoughts!
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
#8
Like America? With what I see on television we can add having lost our minds.
America is the most Christian nation left on earth in our time now, arguably the only significant Christian nation that still exists. Yes you are correct the sluts of Babylon have overrun America, and even the foreigner is on our shores in significant numbers just like the curse for their promiscuity and loveless whoredoms entails. This beautiful land will fade soon and be destroyed by God, but praise Jesus anyways for he will come and save us from the Babylonians and he will give everyone exactly what they deserve.
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
18
#9
America is the most Christian nation left on earth in our time now, arguably the only significant Christian nation that still exists. Yes you are correct the sluts of Babylon have overrun America, and even the foreigner is on our shores in significant numbers just like the curse for their promiscuity and loveless whoredoms entails. This beautiful land will fade soon and be destroyed by God, but praise Jesus anyways for he will come and save us from the Babylonians and he will give everyone exactly what they deserve.
Some people are sure America will last until the end of time but there is so much immorality and insanity. Our plans are to retire in the Philippines and yes, I am aware of the problems there too. It's sad.
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
#10
Some people are sure America will last until the end of time but there is so much immorality and insanity. Our plans are to retire in the Philippines and yes, I am aware of the problems there too. It's sad.
America will be destroyed directly by God near the end, and though it is sad, for all their whoredoms they will deserve it. I wouldn't try to escape to even more accursed land like the Philippines though, it's not exactly a great retirement idea. The best case scenario is we turn America around and somehow get the society to stop relishing in what is evil and start respecting that which is right and the Lord God may spare us for another generation, but this is a pretty steep task.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,517
5,452
113
#11
I would assume the fact that men are more natural risk-takers/hunters and women prefer more stability & security would have something to do with the disparity.
Personally, I would advise anyone to be very cautious about cross-cultural marriages unless you both know each others' languages and cultures very well. Marriage is hard enough without the additional communication barriers.
Well hopefully you don't mind me posting (as a single) in the family forum thread. I just happen to be here and the thread title caught my eye.

It's an interesting question. It seems uh, more dangerous somehow. I can't quite explain why, but I'll attempt.

Barring rather disheartening things like gold-digging from females from a foreign country or "using" a man in order to obtain citizenship (which I'm sure does occur) you kind of accept that as something that is a likelihood. There probably are sincere females that are legitimate believers and may have been led to that option for whatever reason despite the "grime" of having to basically put yourself up on a market (which is somewhat like online dating is for me to a much lesser degree btw). It still is somewhat pragmatic and I don't see it as a non-option entirely. My personal issue is the meeting itself in person and based off how much it costs to go back and forth to "court" it seems fraught with challenges that are probably insurmountable for most.

^That's for men seeking wives.


For a female seeking husbands, instead of a gold-digger/ulterior motivation you would now have a con-man to look out for and that some of these places are quite dangerous for females to visit. Men aren't trafficked and if they are, it is probably 1/100,000 as a 30+ adult, or something absurdly low.

Females it's quite the contrary. You'd have to fly the man over to court them to be safe and that would be incredibly expensive as you would basically have to buy him a life/living quarters near by to get to know him and vet him. Perhaps look into how often females get conned versus males. This isn't anything sexist, it's just that most con-men are men going after particular things...and the female cons are "usually" after a different prize...namely unlimited access to funds/privileges preying off desperation in a different way.

Males take advantage of females in different ways than females take advantage of men. Occasionally they are close, but generally speaking (as a woman) you could probably discern some differences.


Then again, a female would know "her" risks in a way that I couldn't properly speak to entirely being male.


It just seems WAY riskier. You also have the possibility that his culture is very male centric, to the point of subjugation of females, which is not Christ-like and even if he knows the Lord, there may be some bias and quite a few things to work though together that would be entirely unique in that situation...to the point where I guess it would be pointless to go further since this is hypothetical.


Interesting question. I rather enjoyed thinking about something that hasn't ever crossed my mind...but did you mean the U.S specifically? If so, see above ;) If not, then they already do that by being available to men in the U.S. Of course, the "actual" Christian field would be considerably more difficult to find, if not impossible without the Lord's direction/guidance.
Excellent points in both of these posts, thank you.

And while I do reside in the USA, the things you pointed out can certainly apply to anyone who is considering pursuing a significant other in another country .

I appreciate the straight-up, well-thought-out facts that were brought up here, because we all need a good reality check when it comes to searching for love.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
#12
America is the most Christian nation left on earth in our time now, arguably the only significant Christian nation that still exists. Yes you are correct the sluts of Babylon have overrun America, and even the foreigner is on our shores in significant numbers just like the curse for their promiscuity and loveless whoredoms entails. This beautiful land will fade soon and be destroyed by God, but praise Jesus anyways for he will come and save us from the Babylonians and he will give everyone exactly what they deserve.
Grace = unmerited favor. If He were to give you what you deserve, you would die
the second death along with all the "whoring promiscuous sluts of Babylon." :geek:
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
#13
Grace = unmerited favor. If He were to give you what you deserve, you would die
the second death along with all the "whoring promiscuous sluts of Babylon." :geek:
Nope, God is not like this world, he does not reward the good with evil or the evil with good, he will keep his promises unlike Babylon and her children.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
#14
Nope, God is not like this world, he does not reward the good with evil or the evil with good, he will keep his promises unlike Babylon and her children.
I did not say anything resembling God being like this world. Do you really fail to comprehend grace?

To deny that God has extended grace to sinners including you is to deny the Truth of Scripture.
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
#15
I did not say anything resembling God being like this world. Do you really fail to comprehend grace?
God will not reward me evilly for doing that which is right in his sight like you wish. God will reward Babylon and her loveless children with exactly what they deserve, it is all ready willed from times ancient in the name of Jesus, amen.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
#16
God will not reward me evilly for doing that which is right in his sight like you wish. God will reward Babylon and her loveless children with exactly what they deserve, it is all ready willed from times ancient in the name of Jesus, amen.
I do not wish for God to reward you evilly, such rubbish you spout :poop:(n):poop:


Romans 5:8

John 3:16
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
#17
I do not wish for God to reward you evilly, such rubbish you spout.



Then you would know that the sluts of Babylon deserve their hellfire and that Lord Jesus will slay them and save the pure from them and those blessed few shall attain to the first resurrection and never see the Judgement, praise Lord Jesus.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
#18
Then you would know that the sluts of Babylon deserve their hellfire and that Lord Jesus will slay them and save the pure from them and those blessed few shall attain to the first resurrection and never see the Judgement, praise Lord Jesus.
You should realize that but for grace you deserve death too, yet you deny it.

You have no righteousness of your own of which to boast. We are covered in HIS.

Your works will be judged. Go read your Bible, please :)
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
#19
You should realize you deserve death too but for grace, yet you deny it.
Of course I will deny Babylon and her children, I will not drink their cup. Those that drink from her cup get her reward. Those that follow Lord Jesus get his reward. Praise Jesus.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
#20
Of course I will deny Babylon and her children, I will not drink their cup. Those that drink from her cup get her reward. Those that follow Lord Jesus get his reward. Praise Jesus.
Logical fallacy = avoiding the issue.

With apologies to @seoulsearch
:love: