Wife's friends

[TheIndianGirl]

How do husbands feel about their wives' girlfriends? Do husbands expect their wives to become a bit distant with their best friends upon getting married? Do men get jealous if their wife continues to maintain close friendships with their best friends? I just watched a Dateline show where the husband murdered the ex-wife's best friend, because he was jealous of the friendship and thought the best friend convinced the ex-wife of the divorce. No doubt the best friends generally support the wives' feelings (especially if there is a disagreement in the marriage and the wife expresses this her friends), so I can see why husbands may want to isolate their wives from their friends. Perhaps the woman is easily "deceived," is this why?

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I know it is a general rule that we should reduce our contact or even eliminate friends of the opposite gender when getting married. How about friends of the same gender?

Personally, if I was married, I wouldn't mind if my husband had other guy friends. I would be ok if he has to be with another woman alone for work purposes (such as a business trip). I hope I can also trust my husband and female friends to be alone.

But the issue here is the power of influence. Women may be more easily influenced during times of distress. If all of her girlfriends say she should leave her husband, she might. I am not sure if guys are easily influenced by other guys. Guys may not open up as much so his guy friends may also not be aware of feelings.

 

[tourist]

My wife has a few girl friends, talks to them occasionally on the phone and sometimes meets for lunch but I am still her best friend and that is where her main focus is. My wife is fully capable of making up her own mind and is not really influenced at all about what others may say. If she had listened to some of her friends she probably would not have married me in the first place. Personally, as a guy, I am not influenced at all by other guys. Everyone has an opinion but, in regards to guys or acquaintances, mine is the only one that counts. However, in regards to spouses in marriage the opinion of my wife is highly valued and always worth considering.

 

[Lion222]

How do husbands feel about their wives' girlfriends? Do husbands expect their wives to become a bit distant with their best friends upon getting married? Do men get jealous if their wife continues to maintain close friendships with their best friends? I just watched a Dateline show where the husband murdered the ex-wife's best friend, because he was jealous of the friendship and thought the best friend convinced the ex-wife of the divorce. No doubt the best friends generally support the wives' feelings (especially if there is a disagreement in the marriage and the wife expresses this her friends), so I can see why husbands may want to isolate their wives from their friends. Perhaps the woman is easily "deceived," is this why?

OK psycho jealousy has a whole other agenda and will kill any relationship one way or another simple because it is insecurity faking love out of fears.
But healthy Jealousy is being jealous for someone not against someone. So if you are, for someone you want them to have good friends, if you are, for someone you want them to yourself also. I would expect in a new relationship a greater focus to be on your partner at least for a while like a year if you use the biblical examples. Most good friends understand and kind of expect it but try to keep connected and include them in so US stuff so they can say, Dude she is a jealous psycho, run or Wow where to I get one of those.

I expect i would ask you to terminate you friendship with any woman who I recognized as a real and proven threat to our relationship. Or if you had guy friends, i would expect to be there whenever they where with you. or call you out if you spend too much time talking with friends asking you to back off a bit and come and talk to me first.

Mates get first dibs
I actually like women having other Godly women to talk to so when im done, out of words for the day and she is only at 50% she can have another outlet other then me listening and nodding after word burn out.

 

[Lion222]

I know it is a general rule that we should reduce our contact or even eliminate friends of the opposite gender when getting married. How about friends of the same gender?

Personally, if I was married, I wouldn't mind if my husband had other guy friends. I would be ok if he has to be with another woman alone for work purposes (such as a business trip). I hope I can also trust my husband and female friends to be alone.

But the issue here is the power of influence. Women may be more easily influenced during times of distress. If all of her girlfriends say she should leave her husband, she might. I am not sure if guys are easily influenced by other guys. Guys may not open up as much so his guy friends may also not be aware of feelings.

Guys are not easily influenced in anything.
I usually takes a small explosion to move them from their intended purpose.

 

[SoulWeaver]

How do husbands feel about their wives' girlfriends? Do husbands expect their wives to become a bit distant with their best friends upon getting married? Do men get jealous if their wife continues to maintain close friendships with their best friends? I just watched a Dateline show where the husband murdered the ex-wife's best friend, because he was jealous of the friendship and thought the best friend convinced the ex-wife of the divorce. No doubt the best friends generally support the wives' feelings (especially if there is a disagreement in the marriage and the wife expresses this her friends), so I can see why husbands may want to isolate their wives from their friends. Perhaps the woman is easily "deceived," is this why?

I am unconditionally trusted, husband knows well I'd never engage in anything dishonorable, but there were very very rare times where he suspected the intent of the other party and felt protective of me. I don't believe this in itself to be controlling, but it can be controlling when excessive. So in marriage there can be protectiveness, protectiveness gone to unhealthy extreme, and plain controlling behavior.

I have two good female friends in real life, that are on a different continent right now so we keep communication online. I generally update husband on big news about them, since he knows them as well. We are also both friends with the best man from our wedding. Husband's never had any objection to me chatting with any of them as much as I wanted, online is the only way to chat with them since we are an ocean apart anyway, I do talk a lot more to the girls because I am closer with them.

I had one close male friend in real life, and had to let that friendship go. Husband did not mandate that - I just informed him myself that my long term friend disappointed me a lot by not showing respect for the person I married, and I told him that I would never contact my friend again because of this deliberate choice. Sorry but if you disrespect my husband, you disrespect me. Another male friend, back into basically first grade of school, invited me to a theater play years ago, since he was on a university studying to become a theater director. Husband didn't like that for some reason and didn't want me to go. Imo, his concern was unwarranted, since it was a childhood friend, but I honored his feelings, and did not go. If he was in the country at the time, maybe he would have agreed to go with me, and friend would surely welcome more audience. So that was just a single occasion that my husband expressed himself in that regard.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

so I can see why husbands may want to isolate their wives from their friends. Perhaps the woman is easily "deceived," is this why?

I think the other way around is more true, most of the women i have spoken to, have the issue with partners friends, and that they exist. We should always in put in our partners, and if it provides a bit of security, we should share our friends with each other. I am not saying me specifically but people in general.