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I just hate that I see men...in such a negative light. I love them as my brothers in Christ...but after the way my heart was broken, after the destruction of my life that has taken years to rebuild, my heart has such a hard time believing that some men actually treat women well. This is not a man hating post haha. This is just me being honest. I pray often that God would send a man into my life, even just as a friend, who could show me that one can be trusted. One to show me that I don't need to fear and avoid men. Well...he did give me my dog. And he's the greatest guy on the planet...but it's not quite the same.
We sometimes step into a relationship with excitement, confidence, and possibly anxiousness for how it will play out. Our fortress is strong and we feel confident in our situation. But some relationships are like a bombardment and you become cannon fodder. Your walls of self-security are completely destroyed. And the fortress of your heart is open to the enemy. You may have finally eradicated the foreign threat but now you were left with the smoldering mtns of rubble where the walls once stood.
It can take years to rebuild but never lose focus on your surroundings. Just as Nehemiah understood the walls would need rebuilding before the temple. And he instructed the workers to work with tool in one hand, and a sword in the other.
Basically, in the time of rebuilding and healing, you must work diligently and protect yourself from outside distractions or threats. Do not accept your reality as the new and only reality. No. God doesn't want you to stay in the rubble. He wants you to rebuild His Holy temple where the Holy Spirit resides in you.
As time progresses, there will come a day you will feel ready. Nehemiah didn't just build walls but also giant gates. Those gates controlled who was allowed in and who was allowed out. It didn't just open for anyone. On that day, you will become the gatekeeper. And your conscience will be the watcher who sounds the alarm in case of danger. You will control who enters into your life, who can stay, and who must leave.
Possibly find an ideal image of a good man may be your dad, brother, a friend, or simply the biblical attributes that God calls men to be.
i remember an incident that happened after my 1st break up. i read a news article that was very interesting to me! i remember reaching for my phone to text the article to others, and then i realized none of my friends were going to find this article as interesting as i did. it was the first time i felt alone. not necessarily lonely, but alone. as in singular. i was blessed to be close to my family and have a handful a friends, but i didn't have that special connection, ya know?
but the Lord is faithful! i'm glad we can be completely honest with Him on how we feel.
but the Lord is faithful! i'm glad we can be completely honest with Him on how we feel.
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Beloved132
Guest
This was worded so beautifully, and so full of truth. I was so so so careful about who I let in, I guarded my heart, let one man in only, and it was, yes, destroyed. So it's terrifying to know how careful you can be, but still someone can do something like choose drugs and go insane. How a person can change into something awful right in front of your eyes. So yes, my walls are even higher than they were before. But love the points you made here.
Drug use and drug addiction have corrupted too many. I have seen families ripped apart by the aftermath. The drug becoming the biggest need and their loved ones who often fall into co-dependency. The addict loves them until they get the fix needed and then the hellish cycle repeats. While the loved ones have no idea how to tackle the monster. Often a train heading for derailment. It hurts to watch. It hurts, even more, when the derailment collides with everyone who is close to them. I'm sorry to hear this. Someone has already said this but be careful that those walls do not include gates or else it can very well feel like a prison of your own design. Be blessed.
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Beloved132
Guest
Yes....someone else's choices can destroy not only them and their life..but also the people in their life. Agreed. And good point on the gates. I struggle with leaving gates haha.
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Kim82
Guest
In the old days it was considered proper to date only one person at a time. But oh my, times have changed.
But i think its important to define what is dating. Nothing wrong with spending time with someone to get to know them as a friend. But it should be clearly stated that it's not a date, and both persons are free to spend time with others. And no one should get jealous or clingy.
Of course. That is a normal. Remember that these gates was not your typical gate. They were massive. They had guards, watchers, and different gates for different reasons.
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Beloved132
Guest
Loneliness is like a dark cloud. I don't mean the kind where new parents and grandparents store all their adorable baby pictures... I mean the kind that blocks out the sun and makes everything look sad and gloomy. The good news is that above every cloud is an endless sky full of sunshine...I think it's a humbling thing to admit, as a "single" Christian woman who is never dating again, and only wants friendship, and as a woman who fancies herself very independent, and as a massive introvert on top of all of that....but heck, sometimes I feel lonely. Never alone, because Jesus is always with me. But sometimes, as much as I may want to deny it, just feel lonely. That is my truth today. Can anyone out there relate? (Or am I just a weirdo?
The cloud is but an illusion. It's like seeing a sad movie that makes you sad for awhile, but once it's over you realize that it was just a movie. So grab some popcorn and relish your next date with loneliness! ...or not.
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Beloved132
Guest
Hahaha. I do love popcorn.Loneliness is like a dark cloud. I don't mean the kind where new parents and grandparents store all their adorable baby pictures... I mean the kind that blocks out the sun and makes everything look sad and gloomy. The good news is that above every cloud is an endless sky full of sunshine...
The cloud is but an illusion. It's like seeing a sad movie that makes you sad for awhile, but once it's over you realize that it was just a movie. So grab some popcorn and relish your next date with loneliness! ...or not.
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TheIndianGirl
Guest
I believe my loneliness is mostly due to lack of close friends nearby and lack of fun activities. During my 20s, I had roommates and a larger social network and did not feel lonely. (They have either moved away, busy with family, or we have lost touch). Nowadays, I may go several weeks now where my only social activity is church. While I have several close friends nearby, we do not meet often or do not do fun activities. I meet up with one friend frequently, we meet for food but she doesn't like to go to the movies or shopping, etc. Similarly, with a couple of other friends we meet up for food. I do not have a group of friends from work (I am very close to the woman who sits next to me but we do not hang out after work). At church, I do have a couple of friends whom I mention here but most everyone is an acquaintance.
However, during this time, I believe I have drawn closer to God. However, I still have this sense of loneliness which I believe could be easily fixed if I had more close friends nearby.
While I love alone time especially during the weekdays after work, and some weekends, if I go multiple weeks without social activity except for church I feel lonely. It is also hard to be productive when I feel like this (laundry, cooking may get delayed, etc.).
However, during this time, I believe I have drawn closer to God. However, I still have this sense of loneliness which I believe could be easily fixed if I had more close friends nearby.
While I love alone time especially during the weekdays after work, and some weekends, if I go multiple weeks without social activity except for church I feel lonely. It is also hard to be productive when I feel like this (laundry, cooking may get delayed, etc.).
I was lonely once for a decade or so.
Nobody new me, because id did not know me.
When you are the same on the inside as you are on the outside you find yourself less lonely.
Because the people who are left in your life are actually a part of it now.
For good or for bad, like it or not, now everybody knows my heart.
Because I am my heart.
All in all out nothing held back take it or leave it.
Nobody new me, because id did not know me.
When you are the same on the inside as you are on the outside you find yourself less lonely.
Because the people who are left in your life are actually a part of it now.
For good or for bad, like it or not, now everybody knows my heart.
Because I am my heart.
All in all out nothing held back take it or leave it.
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Beloved132
Guest
I am not lonely often. Honestly...maybe it's lonely for the me I was before....someone hurt me...destroyed me. Maybe I am lonely for I. Haha
The first post I wrote on my first thread shortly after I joined was called Quite Lonely.
I get it, you miss the way it was back when you where blissfully ignorant of the realities of life.
Life is hard, love is hard and if you are not ready to die for it you really dont know it or feel it the same way anymore.
When you loose faith you loose your ability to receive love and everything becomes a little more tasteless and numb.
You can learn to love again like that in a way that cant be taked from you by the failure of someone else.
Whey you faith is in God as you love others knowing what is in people and standing ready to love for Him and get hurt doing so
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Beloved132
Guest
I almost did die in it. For love. I tried to keep my vows. For years. I gave all but my last breath. My ex turned out to be a narcissist sociopath. He also turned into a drug addict. It was abusive, toxic, controlling and awful. So yes, I have all I could, but for the sake of my family I chose to not give my last breath.
My rule on dating is to never date someone that you would not consider marrying.
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Beloved132
Guest
That's what I did. I never dated. Saved everything for one person. I was so careful. But you can only control your own choices. You can't stop someone from ruining their life (and subsequently yours) no matter how long or hard you try.