Meet the Parents

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R

Rissa77

Guest
#1
#1
So.. I'm curious.

When do you introduce your significant (or possible significant) other to your parents?
Do they already know him/her?
Do you make a formal arrangement of it?
What have you done in the past or plan to do in the future?
Do your parents even care to meet him/her?
Are they overzealous? Do they pry?


My dad doesn't care. My mom cares too much. So I get a balance I guess. I plan on a formal arrangement with both parents and lay the intentions on the table. I want them involved in some manner and see the progression. The blessing also matters to me.
 
E

evelina

Guest
#2
#2
obviously my parents would know that there is something going on with me (if i would have a significant)
because im really bad at hiding feelings, i would always have that big smile on my face :D
my parents they are a huge part in my life they really close to me , i know i can count on them especially my dad. :D
My Parents are always curious about me in every way ...

if i would have a significant i would like to introduce him to my parents not right aways of course ( first i have to know that he is the one with whom i will share the rest of my life... i'm usually not dating/ and i never dated and i don't know why) ...

i would tell my parents: okay today i will bring my significant to dinner with, i would like to introduce him ( it all depense if my significant has time and bla bla bla )

So thats what i would do, i don't have much experience on that ... but if u never try u will never know :D
thats what i would do ...

Probably if it comes to this i will maybe change my mind in some points ....
thats what i plan for now :D
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#3
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
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#3
Mine would be more like, *Meet the chidren*.

Have only gone through that once since my marriage ended and it was very tough for me to reconcile it all together to know I was making the right choice.

I would VERY much like to be in the *meet the parents* boat. LOL Sooooooo much easier! ;)
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#5
May 23, 2009
16,761
5,660
113
#5
Sorry to hear that, Pro Ret...

I adore my parents, though when I was in my teen years... not so much. Though they were the strictest around and hated all the "limitations"... Once I got out of the house, I never went to visit much, except on holidays, birthdays, etc. Then they moved away... Now I miss them like crazy and love going to see them! They came home for Christmas one year and had helped me with some things and bought me a pair of shoes... My co-workers well all like, "Forget the shoes, we want your parents!!"

I wish I had a good answer, Rissa (this is an excellent topic for a thread!!) but for me... If I do meet someone, I would wait for the relationship to become serious, and then I'd hope I could take him to meet my parents--I've even talked about it with them, LOL, and since they have two rooms that could be converted for guests, they'd be thrilled if I brought someone to meet them!!!

I actually pray about this, that whoever God has for me, we'll love not only each other, but each other's families as well, and vice versa. I pray for in-laws who have similar values... and are willing put up with my personality quirks. ;)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
My parents are both gone now, but I think it's a good idea for your folks to meet someone you feel you are getting serious about (if you are close to your parents). My parents knew me very well and were very good guages as to whether the person I was dating was a good match for me or whether I was looking at the relationship with rose colored glasses.
 
R

Rissa77

Guest
#7
#7
It's not bad to have not dated until you're 20. To me, dating younger is pointless if marriage isn't even an option.

Aw, Grace. :) You're precious.

Sorry to hear that, Julianna. :(

Seoulsearch, I pray for the same. Taking him to meet the parents when they live farther away may just be better when the relationship is serious. In my case, our homes are 30 minutes away from each other (we go to the same college). But may I ask you... what would you do in my case? ::

In June, I will be taking a 3.5 hour trip to Memphis to see a graduation of friends in a ministry school that I graduated from a year ago. It would be a one-day thing - there and back. My pastor is there, and my spiritual family, my church, and some relatives to boot. My mother will be going with me. I hope to take him too, but a friend of mine brought up the idea of meeting each other's parents before the trip. I would have waited a little longer, considering as of right now, we're praying about God's will in a supposed relationship. By June, it would have only been a few weeks since a courtship started.

I think meeting them early is a good and bad thing. I want their blessing. He said his mother would LOVE me, and I think my mom will warm up to him once her apprehension melts. I also don't want either parents to get preconceived notions and hopes up when, really, we're still just friends and though we will be courting to see whether we are meant to marry, we have no idea on the matter. It's serious in intent. Not serious in action. lol But then again, his mom meeting me before I take her son on a trip out of state may be a wise thing to do. lol

In the end, I know meeting them early will be the decision. How to approach it and how to explain the relationship to them may be the trick to make sure things start out smooth.
 
89orchids

89orchids

Junior Member
#8
Jan 15, 2011
23
0
1
#8
Sweet question, Rissa!
I wouldnt date a guy until my family met him and i got parents and pastor's approval. He'd ask my dad for permission to ask me on a date; it's not a necessity thing, it's a respect thing in my opinion. I'd want him to get to know my family and be a good friend of my dad and brother. Plus, i'd prefer to be friends for quite awhile before we got into a relationship - that way he and i would have similar friends, know each other, etc. I'd even prefer that we went to the same church for awhile. But God can do whatever He wants to do. We'll see :)
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#9
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#9
89orchids said:
Sweet question, Rissa!
I wouldnt date a guy until my family met him and i got parents and pastor's approval. He'd ask my dad for permission to ask me on a date; it's not a necessity thing, it's a respect thing in my opinion. I'd want him to get to know my family and be a good friend of my dad and brother. Plus, i'd prefer to be friends for quite awhile before we got into a relationship - that way he and i would have similar friends, know each other, etc. I'd even prefer that we went to the same church for awhile. But God can do whatever He wants to do. We'll see :)
Click to expand...
Sounds like you desire courtship. He would *pursue* you, but with no defined relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend roles.

Nothing wrong with doing things this way. Best to you. :)

Blessings
 
89orchids

89orchids

Junior Member
#10
Jan 15, 2011
23
0
1
#10
grace said:
Sounds like you desire courtship. He would *pursue* you, but with no defined relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend roles.

Nothing wrong with doing things this way. Best to you. :)

Blessings
Click to expand...
Thanks for the best wishes!
In all actuality, what i was describing could be called courtship. However, after gaining my parents' approval, I would be so fine with going out on dates with him and calling him my boyfriend.
When the time comes, we'll see :)
 
T

Tobby17

Guest
#12
#12
P_R, you're 14. So it's understandable if they don't like em :D. You're probably bringing in immature 12 and 13 years old girls,Just Kidding.

THE Question. If you're both serious, then show him to THEM.
 
Protection_Retribution

Protection_Retribution

Banned
#13
Apr 6, 2011
431
2
0
#13
IM 15 DANG IT ALMOST 16 !!!! Okay thats it Im making a thread xD Actually my last bf was 17 so that might of been why Lol :p But there was nothing wrong with my ex gf well nothing they knew about -_- I got the paranoid clingy insanity all to myself. They just do it to get on my nerves.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#14
May 23, 2009
16,761
5,660
113
#14
Rissa77 said:
It's not bad to have not dated until you're 20. To me, dating younger is pointless if marriage isn't even an option.

Aw, Grace. :) You're precious.

Sorry to hear that, Julianna. :(

Seoulsearch, I pray for the same. Taking him to meet the parents when they live farther away may just be better when the relationship is serious. In my case, our homes are 30 minutes away from each other (we go to the same college). But may I ask you... what would you do in my case? ::

In June, I will be taking a 3.5 hour trip to Memphis to see a graduation of friends in a ministry school that I graduated from a year ago. It would be a one-day thing - there and back. My pastor is there, and my spiritual family, my church, and some relatives to boot. My mother will be going with me. I hope to take him too, but a friend of mine brought up the idea of meeting each other's parents before the trip. I would have waited a little longer, considering as of right now, we're praying about God's will in a supposed relationship. By June, it would have only been a few weeks since a courtship started.

I think meeting them early is a good and bad thing. I want their blessing. He said his mother would LOVE me, and I think my mom will warm up to him once her apprehension melts. I also don't want either parents to get preconceived notions and hopes up when, really, we're still just friends and though we will be courting to see whether we are meant to marry, we have no idea on the matter. It's serious in intent. Not serious in action. lol But then again, his mom meeting me before I take her son on a trip out of state may be a wise thing to do. lol

In the end, I know meeting them early will be the decision. How to approach it and how to explain the relationship to them may be the trick to make sure things start out smooth.
Click to expand...
This is just my own two cents worth, but I think maybe waiting a little while (at least until you've established that there is a relationship?) may be better... As you said, if you introduce each other at this point, the parents especially may perceive that there's something there and push you in that direction, even it it's not meant to be... I personally think waiting until this trip and introducing him to your Mom then might be better (less pressure, perhaps? Because the focus will be more on the trip than on the two of you?)

But... it's just my opinions :).
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#15
#15
seoulsearch said:
This is just my own two cents worth, but I think maybe waiting a little while (at least until you've established that there is a relationship?) may be better... As you said, if you introduce each other at this point, the parents especially may perceive that there's something there and push you in that direction, even it it's not meant to be... I personally think waiting until this trip and introducing him to your Mom then might be better (less pressure, perhaps? Because the focus will be more on the trip than on the two of you?)

But... it's just my opinions :).
Click to expand...
I personally like to have blind first dates over to my parents' for dinner... After dessert, we move right on to engagement and marriage, and finish the night with a divorce. The way I see it, get all the good parts out of the way at first...
 
Protection_Retribution

Protection_Retribution

Banned
#16
Apr 6, 2011
431
2
0
#16
You forgot have a huge argument and then have crappy make up sex, that should come just before the divorce.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#17
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#17
Someone has been watching too many movies.
 
X

XboughtwithapriceX

Guest
#18
#18
o_O
wow ohkay...

Before I even think about him meeting my parents as a potential future partner I would want to be sure that he is a good christian man, you know, watch from a distance first, he would probably be introduced among a group of friends to my parents so it doesn't look like we are intentionally doing a "meet the future partner" meet up. My parents would see him the way he naturally is,not under the spotlight of my dad sitting across the kitchen table eyeballing him... no I am kidding, my dad wouldn't do that...I think.
But yeah, If I decided that there was a possibility and he was a good faithful christian man then I would start talking to my parents about him before they meet him in the intentional manner and hear there thoughts on it, if that goes well, he would then be able to meet my parents, ask for their blessing and yeah...
 
F

Forlorn-Hope

Banned
#19
May 4, 2011
627
3
0
#19
I got interegated by my gf's entire family... it was slightly awkward but most of them were hammered at the time so :D
 
P

Psalm2713

Guest
#20
#20
Protection_Retribution said:
You forgot have a huge argument and then have crappy make up sex, that should come just before the divorce.
Click to expand...

wow!!!(not a good thing)..... what have you been watching/listening to? ... get your self some good wise friends ... pse watch good moviies and listen to good music.... ;-)... it should clear your thinking...
 
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