So I Bought This Perfume... And I Think It Makes Me Smell Like a Dude...

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,492
5,428
113
#1
Hi Everyone,

Something happened to me today that made me think of Eli's "Girl Pants" thread, so I thought I would write a bit of a parody.

In Eli's thread, he bought a pair of secondhand pants in the men's section... but they wound up being a very feminine size 8 (in other words, he accidentally bought a pair of women's pant.)

Every year after Christmas, I dare to wrestle the raging crowds just to swipe up a couple of discounted women's fragrance sets at Walmart. I then try to ration them out in order to make them last the whole year until the next 50% off markdown comes around again.

Today, I broke up a bottle of perfume from Adidas and... I think that it really, really makes me smell like a guy. Like seriously. I almost felt like I had to double-check to make sure I wasn't growing in twice as much arm hair on the spots where I had sprayed it.

Now I know someone might say, "Well duh, Seoul, it's from ADIDAS," but they had another fragrance a few years ago that was soft and floral that I absolutely loved, and the box specifically said, "For women." Sure. Maybe if it's "Pat" from Saturday Night Live...

And thus brings me to my next conundrum: every time I get a fragrance that doesn't quite work for me, I usually give it to a friend with several girls in her family, so I know it won't go to waste -- SOMEONE in her clan is bound to like it.

But with this fragrance, I almost wonder if giving it to my female friend would be an insult ("Here. This makes ME smell totally manly... But I'm sure it will be PERFECT on YOU!") implying that she herself is manly (I assure you, she is not.)

On the other hand, I suppose I could give it to a guy friend (it's in a blue bottle,) but I'm pretty sure HE would take it an insult and maybe even an implication that he's not manly enough (and is maybe even a little girly.)

I just hate to see anything go to waste, especially since it's brand-new and only been sprayed once.

How about the rest of you?

* What do you do when you buy or receive something that doesn't work for you?

* Do you throw it away, give it away, sell it on ebay?

* Has someone ever given you something that THEY didn't need or want, but it turned out to be one of the best things ever for YOU? Tell us the story. :)

In the meantime, don't pay any attention to the manly scent engulfing the atmosphere of this thread.

Maybe next week, I'll bust open the Old Spice. :)
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
113
50
#2
I would gladly, make a trade with you Seoul. I get the Man perfume, and you get my girl pants.
The pants may have some issues.................. but since youre into sewing, I bet you can fix em right up!

Think about it like this. They are the only girl pants in 7 counties, that have been on a framing crew.

priceless! An investment really ................................
 

soggykitten

Well-known member
Jul 3, 2020
2,322
1,369
113
#3
Was there a label on that Adidas box that said it was for men?
Sometimes our body chemistry can make a perfume we smell in the bottle change when on our skin.

If you wonder about gifting it to women maybe consider donating it to the local Goodwill?

I've got a story.
I was in Kansas years ago for a meeting. At that time I loved Faberge's Babe perfume.

I'd showered and dressed and then when I put on perfume I spray a couple of sprays ahead of me in the room and then walk through as it falls. Makes for a very nice light dusting and it doesn't come in direct contact with my skin.

I also store my perfumes in the refrigerator. They keep longer and especially in the summer. Preserves the alcohol and fragrance nicely.

Anyway, I'm going to the elevator, it's storming like crazy out. Lightening, thunder, heavy rain. I'm all to myself in the elevator when it stops on the next floor. A very elderly blind man walks in. No dog, just the white guide stick you might have seen them carry.

I move into the corner when I saw him as the doors opened so that he'd be able to navigate freely in the large space.

We're traveling the nine floors to the ground floor when the elevator shudders a bit, the lights flash on and off and then go out. The elevator stops. I'm thinking it must be the storm, or a breaker flipped the wrong way or something.

All those elevator movies I've ever seen where people get rescued through the roof start running through my head after about ten minutes of nothing.

I can see the elderly gentleman in the dim emergency lighting tap the doors with his walking stick and then start to turn and slowly move to the back of the elevator near where I was.

I hadn't said anything to him when he entered and now that the elevator was stuck I didn't want to speak up and scare him so I stay snug in my corner of the box.

As he moves to the back of the car he stops, raises his head and sniffs the air deeply. Turns his head one way and then the other, which is in my direction, and says. Mother? Are you here?
:oops:
Mother? He had to be 80. Mother?
After that I started wearing Windsong.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,492
5,428
113
#4
I would gladly, make a trade with you Seoul. I get the Man perfume, and you get my girl pants.
The pants may have some issues.................. but since youre into sewing, I bet you can fix em right up!

Think about it like this. They are the only girl pants in 7 counties, that have been on a framing crew.

priceless! An investment really ................................
So let me get this straight, Eli...

You want to trade a woman's pair of pants that you accidentally bought yourself... For a bottle of woman's perfume.

I'm not sure if you know how this works. :ROFL:

Don't worry, just hold on until the day after Christmas... I'll get you a nice, marked-down, SUPER MANLY bottle of Drakkar Noir.

Or maybe Axe Body Spray will have a gift set. :)
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,855
4,507
113
#5
Hi Everyone,

Something happened to me today that made me think of Eli's "Girl Pants" thread, so I thought I would write a bit of a parody.

In Eli's thread, he bought a pair of secondhand pants in the men's section... but they wound up being a very feminine size 8 (in other words, he accidentally bought a pair of women's pant.)

Every year after Christmas, I dare to wrestle the raging crowds just to swipe up a couple of discounted women's fragrance sets at Walmart. I then try to ration them out in order to make them last the whole year until the next 50% off markdown comes around again.

Today, I broke up a bottle of perfume from Adidas and... I think that it really, really makes me smell like a guy. Like seriously. I almost felt like I had to double-check to make sure I wasn't growing in twice as much arm hair on the spots where I had sprayed it.

Now I know someone might say, "Well duh, Seoul, it's from ADIDAS," but they had another fragrance a few years ago that was soft and floral that I absolutely loved, and the box specifically said, "For women." Sure. Maybe if it's "Pat" from Saturday Night Live...

And thus brings me to my next conundrum: every time I get a fragrance that doesn't quite work for me, I usually give it to a friend with several girls in her family, so I know it won't go to waste -- SOMEONE in her clan is bound to like it.

But with this fragrance, I almost wonder if giving it to my female friend would be an insult ("Here. This makes ME smell totally manly... But I'm sure it will be PERFECT on YOU!") implying that she herself is manly (I assure you, she is not.)

On the other hand, I suppose I could give it to a guy friend (it's in a blue bottle,) but I'm pretty sure HE would take it an insult and maybe even an implication that he's not manly enough (and is maybe even a little girly.)

I just hate to see anything go to waste, especially since it's brand-new and only been sprayed once.

How about the rest of you?

* What do you do when you buy or receive something that doesn't work for you?

* Do you throw it away, give it away, sell it on ebay?

* Has someone ever given you something that THEY didn't need or want, but it turned out to be one of the best things ever for YOU? Tell us the story. :)

In the meantime, don't pay any attention to the manly scent engulfing the atmosphere of this thread.

Maybe next week, I'll bust open the Old Spice. :)
My wife and I are preppers so no item has zero use. For example, if I bought smell good funk and it smelled too girly, well I would keep it as a barter item. If money became useless then life would return to either steal it or trade for it.

Outside of that hobby, any item could be given away to someone in need, sold, or gifted.

You may can look up other uses for such items. Sometimes you would be surprised at the many different uses of such items.

Although my wife bought me some black sweat pants for work because I have to wear a tyvex suit and it is nice to have comfortable clothes underneath. But the pants are too skinny for my taste. Not as bad as leggings but definitely outlines everything from the waste down lol. She liked them but it was a definite nope for me.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#6
Hi Everyone,

Something happened to me today that made me think of Eli's "Girl Pants" thread, so I thought I would write a bit of a parody.

In Eli's thread, he bought a pair of secondhand pants in the men's section... but they wound up being a very feminine size 8 (in other words, he accidentally bought a pair of women's pant.)

Every year after Christmas, I dare to wrestle the raging crowds just to swipe up a couple of discounted women's fragrance sets at Walmart. I then try to ration them out in order to make them last the whole year until the next 50% off markdown comes around again.

Today, I broke up a bottle of perfume from Adidas and... I think that it really, really makes me smell like a guy. Like seriously. I almost felt like I had to double-check to make sure I wasn't growing in twice as much arm hair on the spots where I had sprayed it.

Now I know someone might say, "Well duh, Seoul, it's from ADIDAS," but they had another fragrance a few years ago that was soft and floral that I absolutely loved, and the box specifically said, "For women." Sure. Maybe if it's "Pat" from Saturday Night Live...

And thus brings me to my next conundrum: every time I get a fragrance that doesn't quite work for me, I usually give it to a friend with several girls in her family, so I know it won't go to waste -- SOMEONE in her clan is bound to like it.

But with this fragrance, I almost wonder if giving it to my female friend would be an insult ("Here. This makes ME smell totally manly... But I'm sure it will be PERFECT on YOU!") implying that she herself is manly (I assure you, she is not.)

On the other hand, I suppose I could give it to a guy friend (it's in a blue bottle,) but I'm pretty sure HE would take it an insult and maybe even an implication that he's not manly enough (and is maybe even a little girly.)

I just hate to see anything go to waste, especially since it's brand-new and only been sprayed once.

How about the rest of you?

* What do you do when you buy or receive something that doesn't work for you?

* Do you throw it away, give it away, sell it on ebay?

* Has someone ever given you something that THEY didn't need or want, but it turned out to be one of the best things ever for YOU? Tell us the story. :)

In the meantime, don't pay any attention to the manly scent engulfing the atmosphere of this thread.

Maybe next week, I'll bust open the Old Spice. :)
On this one I would be inclined to sell it on Ebay...
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#7
I would gladly, make a trade with you Seoul. I get the Man perfume, and you get my girl pants.
The pants may have some issues.................. but since youre into sewing, I bet you can fix em right up!

Think about it like this. They are the only girl pants in 7 counties, that have been on a framing crew.

priceless! An investment really ................................
Girl pants with construction experience......that would raise the price on Ebay for sure....lol
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
113
50
#8
I called dibs on the manly perfume already. Everyone better get to bidding!!!!!
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#9
You never know maybe there was girl and guy perfume together Seoul and they smelled both and put the guys bottle in the girls box...??
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,492
5,428
113
#10
Was there a label on that Adidas box that said it was for men?
Sometimes our body chemistry can make a perfume we smell in the bottle change when on our skin.

If you wonder about gifting it to women maybe consider donating it to the local Goodwill?

I've got a story.
I was in Kansas years ago for a meeting. At that time I loved Faberge's Babe perfume.

I'd showered and dressed and then when I put on perfume I spray a couple of sprays ahead of me in the room and then walk through as it falls. Makes for a very nice light dusting and it doesn't come in direct contact with my skin.

I also store my perfumes in the refrigerator. They keep longer and especially in the summer. Preserves the alcohol and fragrance nicely.

Anyway, I'm going to the elevator, it's storming like crazy out. Lightening, thunder, heavy rain. I'm all to myself in the elevator when it stops on the next floor. A very elderly blind man walks in. No dog, just the white guide stick you might have seen them carry.

I move into the corner when I saw him as the doors opened so that he'd be able to navigate freely in the large space.

We're traveling the nine floors to the ground floor when the elevator shudders a bit, the lights flash on and off and then go out. The elevator stops. I'm thinking it must be the storm, or a breaker flipped the wrong way or something.

All those elevator movies I've ever seen where people get rescued through the roof start running through my head after about ten minutes of nothing.

I can see the elderly gentleman in the dim emergency lighting tap the doors with his walking stick and then start to turn and slowly move to the back of the elevator near where I was.

I hadn't said anything to him when he entered and now that the elevator was stuck I didn't want to speak up and scare him so I stay snug in my corner of the box.

As he moves to the back of the car he stops, raises his head and sniffs the air deeply. Turns his head one way and then the other, which is in my direction, and says. Mother? Are you here?
:oops:
Mother? He had to be 80. Mother?
After that I started wearing Windsong.
LOL!!! Soggykitten, thank you so much for posting this -- I burst out laughing!!! :D Loved the part at the end where you switched to Wind Song. :cool:

I LOVED Faberge Babe but unfortunately, never got to wear it for myself. I remember one year when I was a kid, my Mom bought a small bottle of it for me to give away as part of a Christmas gift exchange at school. I thought it smelled fantastic and really wished I could have kept it for myself, but alas... Better to give than receive, huh?

By the time I could start buying perfume for myself, I don't think Babe was in the stores anymore. I really miss those old classic drugstore perfumes. Le sigh.

I just checked the bottle on the fragrance I posted about in this thread and it clearly says, "Adidas Moves - For Her." It's blue with a blue cap, but the plastic piece on top that sprays is pink.

Rather than predictably giving gifts at Christmas and on birthdays, I like to collect small things that make me think of someone over several months, then send them all at once in a care package.

I have decided that this bottle is going to be put in a particular (female) friend's future care box. :)

My apologies to Eli... Imagine his disappointment. :(
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,492
5,428
113
#11
An Angry Emoji?!

Wow, Eli must be REALLY upset.

And now we know what happens when he doesn't get his manly girl products. :cool:

Yikes. Maybe I shouldn't push him any further.

Next thing you know, he's going to start typing IN ALL CAPS, writing everything he says in red for EMPHASIS, and using multiple !!! (exclamation points) at the end of every sentence just to show HE MEANS BUSINESS. :ROFL:

*shudder*

Post Raging is not something to be taken lightly! :)
 

soggykitten

Well-known member
Jul 3, 2020
2,322
1,369
113
#12
An Angry Emoji?!

Wow, Eli must be REALLY upset.

And now we know what happens when he doesn't get his manly girl products. :cool:

Yikes. Maybe I shouldn't push him any further.

Next thing you know, he's going to start typing IN ALL CAPS, writing everything he says in red for EMPHASIS, and using multiple !!! (exclamation points) at the end of every sentence just to show HE MEANS BUSINESS. :ROFL:

*shudder*

Post Raging is not something to be taken lightly! :)
Maybe the anger emoji is because he bought yet another pair of pants. :LOL:
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,492
5,428
113
#16
Sorry... Jonestown reference... Jim Jones -- infamous cult leader who convinced his followers to drink cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, henceforth:

"Drinking the Kool-Aid" according to World Atlas: "People use this expression to refer to someone who will continue to believe in a doomed or dangerous idea because they expect to receive high rewards from it."

Gots to give up the girl pants, Eli. :censored:

My condolences. :cry:
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#17
I have this t shirt that says Bali Ive never been to Bali, and its just sitting in my drawer, a friend gave it to me as SHE went to Bali.

Im really not sure what to do with it. I was also given two soaps and on the box one says Auckland, and one says Dunedin. Now I live in Auckland, but Im not going down to Dunedin to take a bath.

Im not really getting why people give me things with place names on it. Are they hinting I dont go anywhere or what.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,357
9,371
113
#18
So for some reason a (slightly modified) old Aerosmith song keeps playing through my head.

Dude smell like a lady!
Dude smell like a lady!



Okay, okay, the topic is gifts you don't want... Focus, Lynx, focus!

Every Christmas I get stereotypical guy gifts I don't want. A flashlight with an adjustable neck, a socket wrench set, a screwdriver with a lot of different swappable bits in the handle... I'm a guy, but that doesn't mean I'm a mechanic.

My best friend is a maintenance man/engineer, but I can't give them to him. He already has all the tools he wants. Every guy I know who could use these things already has all the tools he wants - we all get them for Christmas and birthdays.

Also the cheap tools people give as gifts will rust in no time at all anyway. The pocket knives wouldn't cut warm butter. The screwdrivers have blunt heads. Who needs them?

I once left a cheap pocket knife/multitool lying out in the open in the factory, at a place where many people walk through. It sat there for a solid month with no takers. Guys can spot cheap tools without even picking them up to look them over, and they won't even steal them.

Ah well. It's the thought that counts, right? Maybe I should be glad people think of me at Christmas.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,357
9,371
113
#19
seoulsearch I gotta say you're the best I know at derailing your own thread, right out of the gate. :p

This thread topic (the real topic, not the perfume derail) reminds me of a big bag of h*rsh*y "chocolate" a well-meaning elderly friend gave me. That H word is profanity to real chocolate lovers, but I know the masses like it so I took it to the job and left it on the break room table. It was like leaving a cow with four broken legs out in the middle of the jungle - that bag was gone in nothing flat.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
#20
Sorry... Jonestown reference... Jim Jones -- infamous cult leader who convinced his followers to drink cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, henceforth:

"Drinking the Kool-Aid" according to World Atlas: "People use this expression to refer to someone who will continue to believe in a doomed or dangerous idea because they expect to receive high rewards from it."

Gots to give up the girl pants, Eli. :censored:

My condolences. :cry:
We used to say, "Have a drink on me!" - Jim Jones

I tried, but I can't think of any stories to add to this thread.