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deathbatgirl
Guest
Hi everyone...I'm new here as you can probably tell.
I was brought up in a Christian family but didn't come to know the lord until a little less than a year ago.
Let me say before I found God I did a bunch of bad things. I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder too so I have had a lot of depression and dark days. I used to cut myself, shoplift, do drugs...the whole 9 yards.
Now that I've found God a lot of things have gotten better but I'm still confused.
I've always considered myself bisexual because I am attracted to women as well as men. I listen to heavy metal, smoke cigarettes, have piercings and tattoos, and am not the "typical" Christian.
I've been struggling so bad lately, especially today. I have been with my boyfriend Brandon for 6 months and love him very much. He's not a Christian and while it makes me sad I can't force it on him because I remember what it was like when people tried to force me to believe in God.
The majority of my friends are really confused and shocked when I tell them I'm a Christian. I love God!!!!
I'm just scared because a lot of things confuse me...for instance today I stared thinking about how sex before marriage is wrong and I still have sex with my boyfriend. Today he texted me asking what was wrong and I told him that I was having some confusing thoughts with religion. So he pried and I told him I'm starting to believe sex is wrong...I still enjoy it and like doing it with him but I don't know what would happen if I just told him I can't have sex with him anymore.
I'm also ashamed of myself for finding girls attractive. I don't WANT to find them to be "sexy" but I do =/
I also love dark things...not in the evil sense but more in the "goth-y" sense. Like I wear dark makeup, dark clothing, and have tattoos of ghosts and skulls.
I'm just so confused...I know God loves me but I'm not sure what to do. Sorry if I'm rambling.
I was brought up in a Christian family but didn't come to know the lord until a little less than a year ago.
Let me say before I found God I did a bunch of bad things. I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder too so I have had a lot of depression and dark days. I used to cut myself, shoplift, do drugs...the whole 9 yards.
Now that I've found God a lot of things have gotten better but I'm still confused.
I've always considered myself bisexual because I am attracted to women as well as men. I listen to heavy metal, smoke cigarettes, have piercings and tattoos, and am not the "typical" Christian.
I've been struggling so bad lately, especially today. I have been with my boyfriend Brandon for 6 months and love him very much. He's not a Christian and while it makes me sad I can't force it on him because I remember what it was like when people tried to force me to believe in God.
The majority of my friends are really confused and shocked when I tell them I'm a Christian. I love God!!!!
I'm just scared because a lot of things confuse me...for instance today I stared thinking about how sex before marriage is wrong and I still have sex with my boyfriend. Today he texted me asking what was wrong and I told him that I was having some confusing thoughts with religion. So he pried and I told him I'm starting to believe sex is wrong...I still enjoy it and like doing it with him but I don't know what would happen if I just told him I can't have sex with him anymore.
I'm also ashamed of myself for finding girls attractive. I don't WANT to find them to be "sexy" but I do =/
I also love dark things...not in the evil sense but more in the "goth-y" sense. Like I wear dark makeup, dark clothing, and have tattoos of ghosts and skulls.
I'm just so confused...I know God loves me but I'm not sure what to do. Sorry if I'm rambling.