I should have grown up. Now I am 30 years old with no direction in life and no clear decisions.

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Johari

Johari

Junior Member
#41
Dec 24, 2013
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34
18
#41
Your lack of domestic skills reminds me of an episode I saw earlier from a show called the Goldbergs. Not sure if you're familiar with the show but in this episode the daughter came back home for the weekend feeling stressed. She tried to do laundry but didn't know about bleeding colors and her dormmate was displeased that she didn't know how to cook. She complained to her mother and the mother offered to help her instead of teaching her. Her dad stepped in and told his wife to stop babying her.

She did actually end up learning as did her younger brother. They were so proud to be self sufficient and the mom was sad at first since she won't be needed. Then her husband reminded her it's for their best interest and that they're growing up. She agreed.


Moral of the story is you can learn all these skills if you really want to. Sure it's easier for someone else to do it and your mom might even prefer it. If she discourages you then learn anyways.

You don't have to tackle everything at once. Some skills are easier to learn than others depending on the person. If you make a mistake don't give up. Read books and watch YouTube tutorials. The libraries in your area might have a pick up program to check out books or online books.


As for your fears you can conquer them. Pray for strength and trust that the Lord will guide you through. It's scary to face a fear but afterwards I feel relieved or happy. Since amusement parks are closed I don't know what else to suggest for heights. Maybe hiking and looking over the ledge?
 
Johari

Johari

Junior Member
#42
Dec 24, 2013
87
34
18
#42
Kireina said:
Thank you @Lanolin I agree with you...so true Babying them would do more harm than good...they won't learn...
And about the assignments, Yes I did whenever they ask... but in my post It was not about doing their school homeworks...I was trying to emphasize how far I will go to help them....




I grew up feeling unloved, but 'wasn't true...because I had good memories with my parents...we were just poor and they just could not afford the things my friends can have and they were just not so demonstrative in their love...

The Things I lacked,the hardship i went through growing up as a poor kid, the attention I wanted The love I thought was too little... I made sure my siblings will not lack something I made sure they will not struggle and cry a river to have them...I made sure they got someone to lean on when they have problems that no matter what happens They can count on me and I can carry them. So, they become too dependent and weak...slow to learn about life... My mistake....
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Awww don't put all the blame on yourself. You had good intentions and who knows if they would have experienced neglect and turned out worse. The good thing is that you realize the adverse effects you never intended and you're trying to change that. They were very dependent on you and know they aren't so it's difficult to adjust.

Continue to pray for them and teach or encourage them on what they need to do to be self sustaining and independent. At the end of the day they're an adult now and have to make their own choices. It might not be easy because they're used to relying on you but they can do it!
 
Kireina

Kireina

Well-known member
#43
Aug 26, 2020
1,488
1,415
113
#43
Johari said:
Awww don't put all the blame on yourself. You had good intentions and who knows if they would have experienced neglect and turned out worse. The good thing is that you realize the adverse effects you never intended and you're trying to change that. They were very dependent on you and know they aren't so it's difficult to adjust.

Continue to pray for them and teach or encourage them on what they need to do to be self sustaining and independent. At the end of the day they're an adult now and have to make their own choices. It might not be easy because they're used to relying on you but they can do it!
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Thank you sis for taking the time to reply and for the encouragement you gave 🤗 I agree with you they are able adults and they can stand on their own and can take care of themselves already... I was contemplating for this for a long time already. ❤
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#44
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#44
many mums dont like seeing their children grow up, because they get used to being 'needed'

I wondered about this but its kinda why teenage years and beyond are so difficult for everyone.

My advice is to give your mum a pet, and she can pamper the pet instead of you. If she wants to be really needed, give her a pet who needs high maintainence .... shizu puppy or poodle.
 
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