Which is more important looks or personality?

[Encouragement]

I have read through majority of the thread and am encourage how the general sentiment is that 'personality overrules looks'. That said, is there a minimum standard or boundary that some might adhere when it comes to looks?

Reason I ask is that I am a short, homely and unattractive male, whom despite just turning 57 has never married, never had a girlfriend or never even dated. Honestly, I can say every women I have met in life has rejected me for my height and looks. All the feedback I have received from women is negative (i.e.: 'you are not attractive'; 'you are short'). Not once in life have I met a women that looked beyond my lack of physical attractiveness and reinforced any positive personality or character traits I might have.

It is not uncommon to go out in public and be marginalized by women in terms of scoffing (at my looks), 'smirky' contempt and critical looks. I have even received such treatment from Christian women at church.

Speaking of which, as a single never married it can easy to feel without a home or out of place at church in that most single groups are made up of singles previously married. Obviously, I do not fit in with the married crowd at church, particularly the leadership. I recall some time ago meeting with a pastor for the first time at a church I had started attending, and the first words out of his mouth (laced with contempt) were 'women do not like you'.

I always thought that as Christian people we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and that as a body of believers we need to be 'devoted to one another in brotherly love' and to ultimately 'honor one another above yourselves'.

I know I Corinthians 7 reinforces how 'it is good for a man not to marry'. Perhaps the point is that there are those within the church body whom can accomplish things single that they might not be otherwise? And shouldn't we pinpoint such people and support them?

As for character qualities in a women, I feel it begins with Proverbs 11:16: 'a kindhearted woman gains respect'

But also includes I Timothy 3:11: 'In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.'

On numerous occasions I have prayed to God and said if you bring a women with those qualities into my life I will be happy to marry her. However, God is silent on such matters. Where He is not silent, however, is when I pray about my general single status, and Proverbs 3:3-4 comes to mind: 'let love and faithfulness never leave you'.

Perhaps the message driven home is that 'love and faithfulness' are qualities to seek and obtain prior to finding a mate. Or perhaps, love and faithfulness should define a person and not single status.

So nice of you to check or this thread and I love your comments.Very insightful and honest.
Very Intresting points you raised here and you have highlighted some sobering truths that happen..Many Christian's display unkind traits of various kinds from discrimination,rudeness and more and unfortunately many even display traits just like unbelievers do in regards to how they respond/treat another Christian based on their age,gender,physical appearance,job,earning and more.
I am not exactly 6'f and am considered as being short in many domains and my goodness people can treat you a certain way becsuse of things like that.
Ultimately is the quality of a persons character that is what makes us happy when it comes down to it...and we are all attracted to people in a variety of ways for a variety of reasons.
You mentioned that you are unattractive and short ect..but by whose standards?However we can see ourselves there is ALWAYS someone who WILL find us attractive..ALWAYS...The fact that that you have never had a girlfriend ect in NO WAY reflects your true worth and I know that there are females who WILL be attracted to you regardless of how you have been loked at by others.That pastor was totally wrong to say what he said to you...he should know better.🤔🤔
Also I know that the enemie is also beind issues of marginalisation,social exclusion ect and he loves to continually feel feeling of rejection and feelings of aloneness.
I think you're super great and are intelligent,articulate and may God bring into you precious life a lovely woman who let you know just how great you are and how attractive a guy you are in jesus name

 

[up]

😝

 

[Encouragement]

😝

Scary....🤣🤣🤣

 

[Encouragement]

I have read through majority of the thread and am encourage how the general sentiment is that 'personality overrules looks'. That said, is there a minimum standard or boundary that some might adhere when it comes to looks?

Reason I ask is that I am a short, homely and unattractive male, whom despite just turning 57 has never married, never had a girlfriend or never even dated. Honestly, I can say every women I have met in life has rejected me for my height and looks. All the feedback I have received from women is negative (i.e.: 'you are not attractive'; 'you are short'). Not once in life have I met a women that looked beyond my lack of physical attractiveness and reinforced any positive personality or character traits I might have.

It is not uncommon to go out in public and be marginalized by women in terms of scoffing (at my looks), 'smirky' contempt and critical looks. I have even received such treatment from Christian women at church.

Speaking of which, as a single never married it can easy to feel without a home or out of place at church in that most single groups are made up of singles previously married. Obviously, I do not fit in with the married crowd at church, particularly the leadership. I recall some time ago meeting with a pastor for the first time at a church I had started attending, and the first words out of his mouth (laced with contempt) were 'women do not like you'.

I always thought that as Christian people we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and that as a body of believers we need to be 'devoted to one another in brotherly love' and to ultimately 'honor one another above yourselves'.

I know I Corinthians 7 reinforces how 'it is good for a man not to marry'. Perhaps the point is that there are those within the church body whom can accomplish things single that they might not be otherwise? And shouldn't we pinpoint such people and support them?

As for character qualities in a women, I feel it begins with Proverbs 11:16: 'a kindhearted woman gains respect'

But also includes I Timothy 3:11: 'In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.'

On numerous occasions I have prayed to God and said if you bring a women with those qualities into my life I will be happy to marry her. However, God is silent on such matters. Where He is not silent, however, is when I pray about my general single status, and Proverbs 3:3-4 comes to mind: 'let love and faithfulness never leave you'.

Perhaps the message driven home is that 'love and faithfulness' are qualities to seek and obtain prior to finding a mate. Or perhaps, love and faithfulness should define a person and not single status.

Hi I has to dash off to work so my message to you was typed out in a bit of a hurry.You was asking if there was a boundary or minimum standard when it comes to looks that people adhere to?..The answer to that question is a MASSIVE NO..there are No rules about things like this at all..Physically attributes are very unique to an individual interms of what one considers physically attractive.There are many actors who millions of women go weak at the knees for big time...yet there are those other women who say "I don't find that particular actor attractive at all..what the big fuss about him?"
Just like how our actual taste/preference in food varies so does peoples preferences when it comes to finding someone physically attractive.
Somethings are real which we can't do much about like height,how we look ect...and if a person is shorter than the "so called average"..society can make you feel inadequate or unattractive ect..which is actually a sinful evil trait of society that validates people based on their external attributes..
Actors like danny devito are short but married..load of men who are say 5'f and even shorter fo find love...so yes if course love can be found regardless of one height and God doesn't think like we do or the world around us at all and regardless of you age ect...there is no such thing as it being too late.
Btw I did a thread about height and dating...maybe worth checking that out too..I did this thread here too.
Ps have you looked into Christian dating websites?

 

[cinder]

I have read through majority of the thread and am encourage how the general sentiment is that 'personality overrules looks'. That said, is there a minimum standard or boundary that some might adhere when it comes to looks?

Reason I ask is that I am a short, homely and unattractive male, whom despite just turning 57 has never married, never had a girlfriend or never even dated. Honestly, I can say every women I have met in life has rejected me for my height and looks. All the feedback I have received from women is negative (i.e.: 'you are not attractive'; 'you are short'). Not once in life have I met a women that looked beyond my lack of physical attractiveness and reinforced any positive personality or character traits I might have.

It is not uncommon to go out in public and be marginalized by women in terms of scoffing (at my looks), 'smirky' contempt and critical looks. I have even received such treatment from Christian women at church.

Speaking of which, as a single never married it can easy to feel without a home or out of place at church in that most single groups are made up of singles previously married. Obviously, I do not fit in with the married crowd at church, particularly the leadership. I recall some time ago meeting with a pastor for the first time at a church I had started attending, and the first words out of his mouth (laced with contempt) were 'women do not like you'.

I always thought that as Christian people we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and that as a body of believers we need to be 'devoted to one another in brotherly love' and to ultimately 'honor one another above yourselves'.

I know I Corinthians 7 reinforces how 'it is good for a man not to marry'. Perhaps the point is that there are those within the church body whom can accomplish things single that they might not be otherwise? And shouldn't we pinpoint such people and support them?

As for character qualities in a women, I feel it begins with Proverbs 11:16: 'a kindhearted woman gains respect'

But also includes I Timothy 3:11: 'In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.'

On numerous occasions I have prayed to God and said if you bring a women with those qualities into my life I will be happy to marry her. However, God is silent on such matters. Where He is not silent, however, is when I pray about my general single status, and Proverbs 3:3-4 comes to mind: 'let love and faithfulness never leave you'.

Perhaps the message driven home is that 'love and faithfulness' are qualities to seek and obtain prior to finding a mate. Or perhaps, love and faithfulness should define a person and not single status.

Honest reactions reading this. Yes there probably are minimum standards for physical characteristics but they vary from person to person and I expect they get more extreme with time. So yeah I'll probably find it challenging if the wonderful guy I met online turns out to be 3 ft tall with a face that qualifies him to play quasimodo, igor, and the phantom of the opera without needing any makeup. And if we're really honest me working through it probably won't sound very nice either. But one of the most attractive qualities a person can have and develop is the ability to laugh at their challenges and what some may consider shortcomings. And if 3 ft Igor is really awesome he might still stand a chance (after all I would have liked him enough to meet him in person at that point).

I don't know if you're just venting (which we all need sometimes) or how you come across personality wise in real life, but your post reminds me of the cover letter my brother sent me to apply to work where I had recently gotten a job. The letter basically left the reader with the impression "Everything has worked against me getting what I want so now I'm stuck making do with this." And since I wanted him to get the job, I promptly sent it back to him and said try again because no one is going to want you if you make them feel like they're your can't do any better choice. Doesn't matter what you look like, very few people are going to find that attitude attractive.

And one thing I'm slowly realizing, as I'm in a similar boat just a couple decades younger, is that one of the biggest challenges to me ever finding someone is I'm not likely to notice or believe it if someone is genuinely interested in me. So I'm beginning to see it's possible that God could bring me something good and I'd just not notice to start with. And I'm the only one who can work at fixing that and noticing the good gifts God does bring my way, even if they don't look like what I'm expecting.

 

[Kireina]

I have read through majority of the thread and am encourage how the general sentiment is that 'personality overrules looks'. That said, is there a minimum standard or boundary that some might adhere when it comes to looks?

Reason I ask is that I am a short, homely and unattractive male, whom despite just turning 57 has never married, never had a girlfriend or never even dated. Honestly, I can say every women I have met in life has rejected me for my height and looks. All the feedback I have received from women is negative (i.e.: 'you are not attractive'; 'you are short'). Not once in life have I met a women that looked beyond my lack of physical attractiveness and reinforced any positive personality or character traits I might have.

It is not uncommon to go out in public and be marginalized by women in terms of scoffing (at my looks), 'smirky' contempt and critical looks. I have even received such treatment from Christian women at church.

Speaking of which, as a single never married it can easy to feel without a home or out of place at church in that most single groups are made up of singles previously married. Obviously, I do not fit in with the married crowd at church, particularly the leadership. I recall some time ago meeting with a pastor for the first time at a church I had started attending, and the first words out of his mouth (laced with contempt) were 'women do not like you'.

I always thought that as Christian people we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and that as a body of believers we need to be 'devoted to one another in brotherly love' and to ultimately 'honor one another above yourselves'.

I know I Corinthians 7 reinforces how 'it is good for a man not to marry'. Perhaps the point is that there are those within the church body whom can accomplish things single that they might not be otherwise? And shouldn't we pinpoint such people and support them?

As for character qualities in a women, I feel it begins with Proverbs 11:16: 'a kindhearted woman gains respect'

But also includes I Timothy 3:11: 'In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.'

On numerous occasions I have prayed to God and said if you bring a women with those qualities into my life I will be happy to marry her. However, God is silent on such matters. Where He is not silent, however, is when I pray about my general single status, and Proverbs 3:3-4 comes to mind: 'let love and faithfulness never leave you'.

Perhaps the message driven home is that 'love and faithfulness' are qualities to seek and obtain prior to finding a mate. Or perhaps, love and faithfulness should define a person and not single status.

It is sad to say this but in general people will judge you by your appearance... Attractive people are much more often treated special than the not so Attractive one.... I've been there...

I had a protruding teeth...strangers,friends and families made fun of my teeth... It hurts...that is why I am really careful in giving negative comments about someone's appearance because i know how it feels... I know how it (might) will going to affect the person deeply, at the moment and in the future...


But I also meet people who don't care about your appearance ...they will treat you like you are the most Special human being, the most Attractive person in the whole world... They are rare but you'll find them and they will notice you... your beautiful,honest,faithful,humble,compassionate and kind heart ❤


God bless you and welcome to CC 🙋

 

[kaylagrl]

I have read through majority of the thread and am encourage how the general sentiment is that 'personality overrules looks'. That said, is there a minimum standard or boundary that some might adhere when it comes to looks?

Reason I ask is that I am a short, homely and unattractive male, whom despite just turning 57 has never married, never had a girlfriend or never even dated. Honestly, I can say every women I have met in life has rejected me for my height and looks. All the feedback I have received from women is negative (i.e.: 'you are not attractive'; 'you are short'). Not once in life have I met a women that looked beyond my lack of physical attractiveness and reinforced any positive personality or character traits I might have.

It is not uncommon to go out in public and be marginalized by women in terms of scoffing (at my looks), 'smirky' contempt and critical looks. I have even received such treatment from Christian women at church.

Speaking of which, as a single never married it can easy to feel without a home or out of place at church in that most single groups are made up of singles previously married. Obviously, I do not fit in with the married crowd at church, particularly the leadership. I recall some time ago meeting with a pastor for the first time at a church I had started attending, and the first words out of his mouth (laced with contempt) were 'women do not like you'.

I always thought that as Christian people we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and that as a body of believers we need to be 'devoted to one another in brotherly love' and to ultimately 'honor one another above yourselves'.

I know I Corinthians 7 reinforces how 'it is good for a man not to marry'. Perhaps the point is that there are those within the church body whom can accomplish things single that they might not be otherwise? And shouldn't we pinpoint such people and support them?

As for character qualities in a women, I feel it begins with Proverbs 11:16: 'a kindhearted woman gains respect'

But also includes I Timothy 3:11: 'In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.'

On numerous occasions I have prayed to God and said if you bring a women with those qualities into my life I will be happy to marry her. However, God is silent on such matters. Where He is not silent, however, is when I pray about my general single status, and Proverbs 3:3-4 comes to mind: 'let love and faithfulness never leave you'.

Perhaps the message driven home is that 'love and faithfulness' are qualities to seek and obtain prior to finding a mate. Or perhaps, love and faithfulness should define a person and not single status.

Brother I feel for you. I was in my 30s before I ever dated. In my 40s before I got married. I actually met my hubby online. I think that gave me the confidence to actually be myself. By the time we actually met we had already meshed on so many other things that we had in common. When we met I wouldn't say sparks flew. I'm rather dull when it comes to flirtation, I neither know how to do it nor accept it. So when the evening was done and my future hubby took my hand to "kiss it" I missed all the cues, shook his hand like it was a job interview. So he bravely went in for a kiss on the cheek which turned into a head butt because I seriously am no good at cues. They say women judge a man by the first kiss, luckily I didn't. lol

I think women watch too many Hallmark movies. We have a total misunderstanding of what true love is. The men in those movies are handsome, smooth, have money and know everything a woman wants to hear. And it's nothing like that in the real world. Many people don't find a partner not because of looks, but because of misconceptions about what true love really is. Right now my hubby, who works for a propane company, is working 12 hr. days. He come home exhausted every night and doesn't get to eat before 8pm. Then he gets up the next day and does it all over again. That's love. Yes, he does romantic things from time to time, but life isn't a Hallmark movie. Are looks important, maybe, I suppose we're attracted to that person physically at first. But it's very small in the scheme of things.

I had a gf that was always trying to find a man. Literally every man she saw she was sizing up. So one day she said to me that she needed a man. Since I travelled a lot she asked me to keep my eye out. I made the mistake of asking what she wanted in a husband. Her answer was, " You know the Rock"? I said " The actor, Dwayne Johnson?" "Yes, she said, I want a man like him". I tried not to laugh in her face. She's a pretty enough girl but she had her sights on something that was no realistic. The guy may be a great person, I don't know. But what mattered to her was not what was important. Very immature. Life is not a romcom ladies in particular, need to get that out of their heads.

So I said all that to say this. Who you are is more important than what you look like. Be confident in who you are. What are your best qualities, what do you do well? What would your friends and loved ones say positive about you? Be the best most confident you that you can be. Don't let anyone look down on you! There will always be people better looking than you, that doesn't make them better people, or more worthy than you are to find love if that is what you really want in life. I honestly thought like you, that I had to be thinner, prettier, more delicate and less, well me. Then when hubby and I began to have a long term relationship he shocked me by saying what he loved about me was what everyone had told me to change and what I thought was keeping me from finding love. He didn't like skinny women. He liked that I spoke my mind, he thought I was intelligent and well spoken. And he tells me all the time that he is proud of me when I speak my mind.

I was surprised when my hubby told me what actually made him know I was "the one". I was all set for a romantic story about my laugh, my smile, my eyes... Nope. Hubby said "Remember when we were dating and we were late to see a movie?" Yes, I remembered. "And we needed to eat before we went in so we got fast food and ate it in the car?" Umm humm " And I looked over and you were sitting there with your food in your lap. That's when I knew you were the one for me!" He still tells that story! Obviously it meant something to him. Long story short, I could have changed everything about myself. I thought I was all wrong. I thought I needed a fairy godmother to help me. My younger sister was married years before I was. I was left out of everything, I was joked about, the old maid. When it all comes down to it, be you. Someone will love you for you. And you wouldn't want it any other way. The women who look down on you are looking for the wrong man, the wrong thing. Their loss!! Give them a smile and a wink and walk away confidently. To the pastor who said "women don't like you", so what? Most men don't like me. Ask my brother in law. But one person liked me, he loved me. And he says to me " I love you, I love who you are and how you look, no one else's opinion matters". I didn't mean to ramble on, but I wanted to encourage you. You've got more in you than you think. Don't let foolish, vain, selfish people drag you down. Don't let them make you a victim. Chin up, you're worthy, don't even let anyone tell you different!! Blessings!

 

[someguyfrommars]

Encouragement, cinder, Kireina, kaylagrl...

I want to thank each of you for your insightful, kind and encouraging words regarding my original post. Sorry for the delay in responding, but I thought it would be best to put the matter on the back burner for a week and return to it with a more neutral and objective frame of mind.

I don't know if you're just venting...

Yeah, I was. In hindsight I probably should have drafted my response on a Word document and set it aside for a few hours (or several days) and then re-wrote it so it is not so strongly worded.

...and may God bring into you precious life a lovely woman who let you know just how great you are and how attractive a guy you are in jesus name

Thanks again, but in order to do that it would be important to first place myself in a position to meet such a person. Quoting myself from the post I started in the Introductions forum:

Well, it is complicated. Do not want to go into too much detail, but the kindest thing to say would be that as a young person I went through some signification distractions in life that provided a set back in terms of the development of my social skills, to put it mildly. At an age when most young people were developing socially, I was 'bombed back to the stone age'.

Hence, I was 'on the sidelines' during my prime twenties and thirties dating years. I did not begin to grow into my social skills until well into middle age, and by that point had become pretty much set in my ways from a single standpoint. To be quite frank, I kind of enjoy being single. Or at the very least, consider myself someone who potentially can accomplish things in life single that I might not if otherwise married.

So basically I need to get out and meet people- form acquaintances and friendships- and then go from there. Once the health crisis has passed perhaps join a Christian singles group. There is a church in the area I live that has Saturday evening Bible study for singles. That would be a good place to start.

That pastor was totally wrong to say what he said to you...he should know better.

Agreed, but that is not the rare exception but rather much of the norm in regards to marginalizing treatment I have encountered from church leadership over the years. This could be a topic for another thread, so do not want to go into too much detail.

 

[Lynx]

Agreed, but that is not the rare exception but rather much of the norm in regards to marginalizing treatment I have encountered from church leadership over the years. This could be a topic for another thread, so do not want to go into too much detail.

There's a thread for that. Although it seems to be not so much church leadership specifically as church culture and modern culture in general.

The thread:
https://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/this-affects-us-all-and-needs-to-be-addressed.197170/

The article it references:
https://churchleaders.com/outreach-...lrWtUO6QfcM__p6ahLkzXKbRPJ3pGAHMY58-Yuj8dTZuw

 

[someguyfrommars]

There's a thread for that. Although it seems to be not so much church leadership specifically as church culture and modern culture in general.

The thread:
https://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/this-affects-us-all-and-needs-to-be-addressed.197170/

The article it references:
https://churchleaders.com/outreach-...lrWtUO6QfcM__p6ahLkzXKbRPJ3pGAHMY58-Yuj8dTZuw

This is kind of ironic, but I read the exact same article yesterday following a Google search.

 

[Lynx]

Huh... Maybe somebody at Google is subtly trying to improve modern culture.

 

[Blackpowderduelist]

I'm not single. I saw this title as I were perusing the forum home page, and out of morbid curiosity I stopped in to read how you would answer.
Have y'all ever wondered why we tend to go through so many damaging break ups, and that the divorce rate is not quite but nearly 50%?
Sadly I think modernity, the church and family has failed the young folks, but with reading the answers given here, and I'm sure some were just tongue in cheek fun, but it's not a question why relationship failure is so high. Character was mentioned but only became part of the conversation on page seven, even then there was question as to the nature of character. Integrity was mentioned only once in principle, and shared faith mentioned once, but I guess maybe that one could be assumed to some degree. These are the three most important attributes that contribute to a successful relationship. Looks fail and fade, personality changes over time. I'm not here to be critical or harsh. I was just curious, and then sad, so I want to give y'all something that may help.
I have been married for 25 years. Neither she nor I are the same personality, that we married, (that has vastly changed) and we don't look the same either, and those warm fuzzies, and big eyed attractions are replaced by years of steadfast dedication, which only comes from character and integrity.


I am very glad that i am married and will remain so until one of us dies.

 

[Magenta]

I have read through majority of the thread and am encourage how the general sentiment is that 'personality overrules looks'. That said, is there a minimum standard or boundary that some might adhere when it comes to looks?

Reason I ask is that I am a short, homely and unattractive male, whom despite just turning 57 has never married, never had a girlfriend or never even dated. Honestly, I can say every women I have met in life has rejected me for my height and looks. All the feedback I have received from women is negative (i.e.: 'you are not attractive'; 'you are short'). Not once in life have I met a women that looked beyond my lack of physical attractiveness and reinforced any positive personality or character traits I might have.

Hello some guy from mars I was once and for a long time in love with a man who would no doubt describe himself as you do. He would call himself ugly (and blame his parents for that), and he once told me one of the reasons he liked me was because I was shorter than him. He may have been 5' 6" or 7"? I used to be 5' 4.5" though I am even shorter now due to osteoporosis (though that is beside the point). The point is, he allowed his self assessment to get in the way of truly opening up to people. We probably both had that same problem back then, though I did once tell him he was one of the most beautiful people I knew. His lack of sense of self worth and the behaviors that stemmed from it eventually led him to becoming quite an abusive hateful person, blaming others for his failures, and seemingly incapable of taking any personal responsibility for how people responded to him. He did not start out that way, as when I first knew him, he was quite charming, even if guarded, though he ended up mean and vengeful. I really hope you do not allow this to happen to you. Of course there is a big difference in being a late teen into early twenties to becoming an almost sixty year old person, in how we view love and romantic relationships, and the differences in how we view these things may be stark. However, I still hope for you. When love finds you, you will treasure it all the more.

 

[someguyfrommars]

Hello some guy from mars I was once and for a long time in love with a man who would no doubt describe himself as you do. He would call himself ugly (and blame his parents for that), and he once told me one of the reasons he liked me was because I was shorter than him. He may have been 5' 6" or 7"? I used to be 5' 4.5" though I am even shorter now due to osteoporosis (though that is beside the point). The point is, he allowed his self assessment to get in the way of truly opening up to people. We probably both had that same problem back then, though I did once tell him he was one of the most beautiful people I knew. His lack of sense of self worth and the behaviors that stemmed from it eventually led him to becoming quite an abusive hateful person, blaming others for his failures, and seemingly incapable of taking any personal responsibility for how people responded to him. He did not start out that way, as when I first knew him, he was quite charming, even if guarded, though he ended up mean and vengeful. I really hope you do not allow this to happen to you. Of course there is a big difference in being a late teen into early twenties to becoming an almost sixty year old person, in how we view love and romantic relationships, and the differences in how we view these things may be stark. However, I still hope for you. When love finds you, you will treasure it all the more.

Thank you for your well thought out and WELL written response. Sorry for any miscommunication or misunderstanding, but I am nothing like this. I am NOT a bitter and lonely old man.

I believe Hebrews 12:15 applies in this scenario: "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many"

Values I live my life on a daily basis include the two 'all's':

"Let your gentleness be evident to ALL" (Philippians 4:5)
"Showing true humility to ALL men (Titus 3:2)

Also, thank you for the encouraging words of your last sentence. However, I believe finding love also encompasses an element of individual accountability. In other words, perhaps I need to take the initiative and play a role in finding that love in question by going out and first meeting people, making acquaintances and making new friends. Let any potential love form and grow out of that.

 

[selfdissolving]

100% personality. Looks are going to fade, I promise.

 

[Encouragement]

100% personality. Looks are going to fade, I promise.

Yes true..👍🏻looks is a bit like tasting the nice flavours a within a meal..though pleasurable and enjoyable...it will at some point fade over time leaving just the memory of what was once there....

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hi just through to put this question out there.When it comes to meeting someone special which is more important to you their personality or their looks,?
I know that a person's looks and personality can both be very appealing yet which one seems to tip the balance more..looks or personality?Or are they equally important?Sometimes people can say well personality is more important than looks..but God made us also to also find a person physically attractive too.I guess what will ultimately make a person happy iam sure would be what's within a person...yet there has to be some degree of physical attraction of some kind.
Sometimes a person with a great personality actually can become even more attractive..whereas a person whose physically attractive can also seem unattractive if they don't have a good personality.
Yet each of us are unique and different things appeal to different people.I know some ladies who view that a guys shoes is the number 1 thing that determines their level of interest in him.So any guy they meet they check out his shoes 1st..wrong shoes.....it's basically over for him..🤪🤪
So what are your views is how a person looks more important than their personality of visa versa?
Personally I have been drawn to someone by either...some times looks alone initially...other times their lovely personality...I guess something would draw me to them and what draws me can varie quite widely really.
Beauty is most definatley in the eye if the beholder which makes it so unique and individual as to what can appeal to us about someone
Look forward to hear your thoughts😊

The truth (reality)....

Looks = romantic interest

Personality without looks = friendzone

 

[NotmebutHim]

"If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy!" - Steve Smith, aka Red Green

 

[Magenta]

Thank you for your well thought out and WELL written response. Sorry for any miscommunication or misunderstanding, but I am nothing like this. I am NOT a bitter and lonely old man.

I believe Hebrews 12:15 applies in this scenario: "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many"

Values I live my life on a daily basis include the two 'all's':

"Let your gentleness be evident to ALL" (Philippians 4:5)
"Showing true humility to ALL men (Titus 3:2)

Also, thank you for the encouraging words of your last sentence. However, I believe finding love also encompasses an element of individual accountability. In other words, perhaps I need to take the initiative and play a role in finding that love in question by going out and first meeting people, making acquaintances and making new friends. Let any potential love form and grow out of that.

No, I am sorry if you thought I was saying you were anything like that... and I did say, "I really hope you do not allow this to happen to you." I am glad you have taken measures to assure it does not And yes, accountability is major in relationships. Trust grows through our willingness to be vulnerable enough to own up to our mistakes and shortcomings

 

[Encouragement]

The truth (reality)....

Looks = romantic interest

Personality without looks = friendzone

😂😂😂
yet the irony is that someone may consider a person as not physically attractive and they remain in the friend zone with them..yet to someone else you are most definitely physically attractive and heck no way are you gonna be In the friend Zone....and Visa versa for the personality.
Have you ever seen those so called scientific studies about what proven traits constitute to a person being physically attractive..?
After months of their intense scientific research and going through hundreds of photo profiles they proudly reveal what they belive to be a computer generated picture of absolute physical attractiveness.Perfectly shaped eyes..jaw line..eye rows..chin ect ect..
Yet when you see the picture they reveal you are like....SERIOUSLY!😂😂😂
Praise God that we all have eyes but see things very different from each other..👍🏻